The Revolution Cums

[Shendude]

Well, I see some other people have posted threads looking for feedback and such, so I'm gonna give it a shot:

The Revolution Cums, is a sci-fi tale of a sexy dystopia. The introduction is a pure exposition (which is the case for the first post of most of my stories actually), with only a single addition thus far (by moi), introducing some actual story.

Anyone have comments, suggestions, or other helpful feedback?

 

[razor7826]

I am working on a thread with another character, a young counterrevolutionary. However, you have the Maximum Threads limited to 2. Is this intentional? I prefer to have more children for any of my threads, and it would be nice if a third author could create a third character to pick from the start.

I am hoping to continue the thread with 4 options for Rebecca. She can search for any of three family members specifically, or join an organized counterrevolutionary group. If she chooses to join a group, she gets to choose which group she joins, each of which have very different methodologies.

 

[tnadnuder]

How can the story description (not sure what to call it... when the story is in a list) call it "M or F", but I see only F options?

This is a problem with many stories, but that doesn't make it not a problem.

 

[razor7826]

You could always add a Male option if you want, though. That the first character created was female does not preclude there from being a male character added later on.

The story creator could just update that box later on as fits, though, but it could also be interpreted as where he wants the story to go.

 

[Shendude]

I am working on a thread with another character, a young counterrevolutionary. However, you have the Maximum Threads limited to 2. Is this intentional? I prefer to have more children for any of my threads, and it would be nice if a third author could create a third character to pick from the start.

I am hoping to continue the thread with 4 options for Rebecca. She can search for any of three family members specifically, or join an organized counterrevolutionary group. If she chooses to join a group, she gets to choose which group she joins, each of which have very different methodologies.

It was not intentional, and has been corrected.

How can the story description (not sure what to call it... when the story is in a list) call it "M or F", but I see only F options?

This is a problem with many stories, but that doesn't make it not a problem.

What razor said.

 

[tnadnuder]

You could always add a Male option if you want, though. That the first character created was female does not preclude there from being a male character added later on.

For some reason, when I wrote the above, I of course thought of that first, but didn't see the "Add New Thread" option at the start... Well, either that, or I'm just not sure how to create for the reason(s) I gave in Shendude's other thread about his stories.

The story creator could just update that box later on as fits, though, but it could also be interpreted as where he wants the story to go.

I'm confused by this... But it's about the creator, not me, so will disregard.

 

[razor7826]

Would it be possible to allow authors to edit their own threads? I was hoping to add to my thread, but I fixed something and it is now locked and awaiting approval again.

For some reason, when I wrote the above, I of course thought of that first, but didn't see the "Add New Thread" option at the start... Well, either that, or I'm just not sure how to create for the reason(s) I gave in Shendude's other thread about his stories.



I'm confused by this... But it's about the creator, not me, so will disregard.

At the time, the author had it limited to only 2 children threads, so his character and my character prevented any additional ones from being added. He has since increased it to 4.

 

[tnadnuder]

Would it be possible to allow authors to edit their own threads? I was hoping to add to my thread, but I fixed something and it is now locked and awaiting approval again.

That's one of the worst problems with CHYOO (though that would be quite a lengthy list, were someone to make it)... There are millions of threads approved with low-quality writing (spelling, grammar, etc.), but fix your own problems, & you may never be able to add to your thread; Depends how active (if at all) the editor is.

At the time, the author had it limited to only 2 children threads, so his character and my character prevented any additional ones from being added. He has since increased it to 4.

That explains why I didn't see the "adding" option at the time.

 

[Shendude]

Would it be possible to allow authors to edit their own threads? I was hoping to add to my thread, but I fixed something and it is now locked and awaiting approval again.

Oddly, it's supposed to be set up to edit your own threads. No idea how that happened.

Anyways, it's been approved.

 

[tnadnuder]

Oddly, it's supposed to be set up to edit your own threads.

...Which it is.

 

[razor7826]

The function to limit your own threads freely may not come until the author is trusted, or they are made a sub-editor.

Even with sub-editor status, the writers can't edit other people's threads.

 

[Shendude]

The function to limit your own threads freely may not come until the author is trusted, or they are made a sub-editor.

Even with sub-editor status, the writers can't edit other people's threads.

Makes sense.

So, do you have any thoughts on where you want your threads to go? Do you envision Rachel hooking up with the resistance and freeing her family? Being captured and forced to work in a brothel? Converted to the 6/9er cause?

 

[tnadnuder]

The function to limit your own threads freely may not come until the author is trusted, or they are made a sub-editor.

Even with sub-editor status, the writers can't edit other people's threads.

I'd forgotten there was a "sub-editor" status, let alone how to get it (which I suppose is different on different stories).

I'm confused again by the meaning of "limiting" your threads. I knew there was a way to limit the # of possible threads/options, but not to limit threads.

 

[razor7826]

I'd forgotten there was a "sub-editor" status, let alone how to get it (which I suppose is different on different stories).

I'm confused again by the meaning of "limiting" your threads. I knew there was a way to limit the # of possible threads/options, but not to limit threads.

Oh, that's a typo. I was talking about the ability to "edit". I don't know where "limit" came from in that sentence.

 

[razor7826]

Makes sense.

So, do you have any thoughts on where you want your threads to go? Do you envision Rachel hooking up with the resistance and freeing her family? Being captured and forced to work in a brothel? Converted to the 6/9er cause?

I am going many, many directions. I think CHYOO is about choice, and that means introducing many paths, some good, some bad. Not sure how much some people will like the darker endings, but oh well.

One of the bad outcomes of looking for her mother is that she gets caught and ends up working in the same brothel.

One of the bad outcomes of going out to look for her sister is finding the border region an experimental BDSM lifestyle haven set up by the new government and ending up a sex slave there.

One of the bad outcomes of trying to join a counterrevolutionary group is that she ends up sent to a breeding farm, as she is one of the very few adult women without the implant to prevent pregnancy.

Each of those paths also has good endings, though. It may take a while to finish and development, and I am open to people writing the other potential paths that I might not get around to.

 

[Shendude]

snip

Gotcha.

I personally prefer good endings, but I don't oppose bad ends. I would also recommend having an ambigous ending, where she is converted to 6/9er. Also, I wouldn't mind a twist or two; for example, that nun sister turning out to have secretly been a 6/9er, or finding a counterrevolutionary group that happens to be composed of moderate NuSexers, who oppose the Scions methods but agree with their goals.

One note though...

One of the bad outcomes of trying to join a counterrevolutionary group is that she ends up sent to a breeding farm, as she is one of the very few adult women without the implant to prevent pregnancy.

Zayvex does not make women infertile. It allows both men and women to control their fertility, so a pregnancy only occurs when both parties want it.

I would also note that the endings discussed, don't have to actually be endings. Her being sent to a brothel or as a sex slave can go on for awhile, and could possibly include her eventually escaping.

Similarly, her joining a counterrevolutionary group may also continue on for a bit, and could end with said group being caught.

 

[razor7826]

Gotcha. One note though...
Zayvex does not make women infertile. It allows both men and women to control their ferility, so a pregnancy only occurs when both parties want it.

Ah, thank you for the clarification. I knew it was a conscious effort thing, but I didn't know it could also apply to males.

 

[Shendude]

Ah, thank you for the clarification. I knew it was a conscious effort thing, but I didn't know it could also apply to males.

Would be less heplful otherwise.

BTW, I've edited a few more thoughts into my post, so you may want to give it another look.

 

[razor7826]

Would be less heplful otherwise.

BTW, I've edited a few more thoughts into my post, so you may want to give it another look.

Yes, I agree that they don't have to be endings, especially the counterrevolutionary stuff. My intentions was that, depending on which group she joins, there would be drastically different courses due to their differing philosophies (one pacifist, one militant, one horribly sexist etc.)

However, I do think it is important to have at least some terminal endings, for better or for worse.

 

[Shendude]

Yes, I agree that they don't have to be endings, especially the counterrevolutionary stuff. My intentions was that, depending on which group she joins, there would be drastically different courses due to their differing philosophies (one pacifist, one militant, one horribly sexist etc.)

However, I do think it is important to have at least some terminal endings, for better or for worse.

True enough.

 

[Shendude]

A few weeks ago, to my intense suprise someone went and added a thread to this story!

I'm currently planning out a response, though at my usual snail's pace, who knows when it will be.