Iwroteathing
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2018
- Posts
- 11
Hello Everyone,
This is my first time posting in the forums, although I have lurked reading other posts for a while.
I don't usually put myself out there any more than publishing my stories, I don't reply to emails and I rarely reply to comments (I know, terrible community engagement). Partially because I have bad self-esteem with chronic imposter syndrome, partially time constraints, and partially because nobody in my life knows that I write pretty niche and socially unacceptable erotica, so I'm not used to talking casually about it.
So when one of my stories was a readers choice nominee for 2020 (The DomBox, Fetish Nominee April 2020) it really played on my mind, moreso when its ratings didn't take the plunge I expected from the attention and the downvote fairies that follow. I went from not really caring too much about ratings to fastidiously checking the story's ratings every day. Even if I pretend its not there I have had to accept that I have an ego and that there was a reason to put stories out to the world rather than just keeping them to myself. I have never wanted to put myself in the spotlight but I'm now eager for Iwroteathing to have their day in the sun.
I don't know where I am going with this, honestly this started as a forum post to ask about the 2020 Annual story contest and why voting hasn't started on it yet even though Laurel said voting would begin March 29th. I got hit pretty hard that my story was in the running and has ben downvoted out of the running since the day voting was supposed to start.
But I think what I am trying to wrestle with and what I want to hear others talk about is the place of ego in anonymous writing for an audience. I feel like you cannot be both cautious with how much of your ego is wrapped up in the the approval of others without dulling the sense of accomplishment when you gain a significant achievement. It also feels super hypocritical to take the accolades and ignore the flops, so I am now reduced to refreshing a stats page and posting a stream of consciousness on the forum.
Does anyone with more organised thoughts than mine have thoughts in this area?
This is my first time posting in the forums, although I have lurked reading other posts for a while.
I don't usually put myself out there any more than publishing my stories, I don't reply to emails and I rarely reply to comments (I know, terrible community engagement). Partially because I have bad self-esteem with chronic imposter syndrome, partially time constraints, and partially because nobody in my life knows that I write pretty niche and socially unacceptable erotica, so I'm not used to talking casually about it.
So when one of my stories was a readers choice nominee for 2020 (The DomBox, Fetish Nominee April 2020) it really played on my mind, moreso when its ratings didn't take the plunge I expected from the attention and the downvote fairies that follow. I went from not really caring too much about ratings to fastidiously checking the story's ratings every day. Even if I pretend its not there I have had to accept that I have an ego and that there was a reason to put stories out to the world rather than just keeping them to myself. I have never wanted to put myself in the spotlight but I'm now eager for Iwroteathing to have their day in the sun.
I don't know where I am going with this, honestly this started as a forum post to ask about the 2020 Annual story contest and why voting hasn't started on it yet even though Laurel said voting would begin March 29th. I got hit pretty hard that my story was in the running and has ben downvoted out of the running since the day voting was supposed to start.
But I think what I am trying to wrestle with and what I want to hear others talk about is the place of ego in anonymous writing for an audience. I feel like you cannot be both cautious with how much of your ego is wrapped up in the the approval of others without dulling the sense of accomplishment when you gain a significant achievement. It also feels super hypocritical to take the accolades and ignore the flops, so I am now reduced to refreshing a stats page and posting a stream of consciousness on the forum.
Does anyone with more organised thoughts than mine have thoughts in this area?