The LIT Swingers Club

[LizVegas79]

Hello Everyone - I'm hoping those of you who have been to swingers clubs or shared a partner at a swinger's party will join in the discussion on this thread because I can tell my husband and I are going to need some advice.

This past Saturday night and Sunday morning my husband and I spent some quality time with two couples friends of ours openly and freely discussing our sexual bucket lists in regards to both this coronavirus pandemic and the fact that we're all starting to get a little older.

We knew that was the agenda for the party in advance because it all started from a conversation my husband and one of his best friends had at work last week.

It turned out to be a wonderful and amazing eye opening (and eye popping! ) experience for all six of us.

It was not the first time my husband and I looked into the swinger's scene here in Las Vegas. But it was the first time we participated in it.

I can tell already that it has not only changed our relationship with our friends I previously felt we already knew, but that it has and will continue to also change our own relationship as husband and wife.

It's all good. We broke down some barriers (especially a few of his) and I expect we will be breaking down a few more in the coming weeks and months.

It turns out that within our circle of friends more of them have been enjoying each other's company quite a bit more that I previously knew. I guess that old saying is true, "You never really know someone until you sleep with them."

(mmmm, I can still feel that first tentative touch of one of my husband's best friends reaching out and caressing me for the first time )

With all that said, I'm hoping that some of you who have more experience with "the lifestyle" will share your own thoughts and experiences sharing your S.O.'s (significant others) with friends and/or strangers. Because I can tell already that this is going to be a bit of a tricky dance but at the same time I am soooooo looking forward to it!

I guess what I'm most interested in learning about is:

- What are some of the unexpected challenges that can arise within an active group of swingers?

and

- What are some of the things to look out for or discuss with your S.O. in order to keep the lines of communication open?

Thank you all in advance for sharing your wisdom! I can't think of a better way to talk about the joys and challenges of swinging and partner swapping than with a group of other people!

 

[Richard_C]

How very exciting!!!!

 

[LizVegas79]

How very exciting!!!!

It was soooo very exciting!!!

My husband "reclaimed me" so hard after our first round of swapping too!

 

[iaabanag]

It was soooo very exciting!!!

My husband "reclaimed me" so hard after our first round of swapping too!

Lizzie, this sounds so hot and so exiciting for you. Glad it was a great weekend

 

[catherinewheel77]

Dear Liz,

I’m going to be frank. My husband and I are like Jehovah’s Witnesses in comparison to y’all.

Weep for me,
Cathy

 

[Sh75]

Dear Liz,

I’m going to be frank. My husband and I are like Jehovah’s Witnesses in comparison to y’all.

Weep for me,
Cathy

Would you like me to send you through a copy of the Watchtower magazine

 

[Sh75]

Good luck Liz.

No advice to offer here, while it's an exciting thought, i know i couldn't do it with someone i had love or feelings for, but that's just me. I know myself.

But details would be fantastic

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I can't really talk to traditional swinging, but we have an open marriage with a hot wife flair to it.

Im subscribing to come back to this later.

 

[LizVegas79]

Lizzie, this sounds so hot and so exiciting for you. Glad it was a great weekend

Thank you!

Dear Liz,

I’m going to be frank. My husband and I are like Jehovah’s Witnesses in comparison to y’all.

Weep for me,
Cathy

Well depending what you witness Cath it can be pretty hot. Personally I like being watched. If this Jehovah guy wants to get his freak on standing over in the corner then who are we to judge?

Not weeping for you but saying a naughty little prayer instead!

Good luck Liz.

No advice to offer here, while it's an exciting thought, i know i couldn't do it with someone i had love or feelings for, but that's just me. I know myself.

But details would be fantastic

Well it started out with three white buttons and three black buttons in a bag and we each had to stick our hand in and pick one randomly then reveal to the group ("one, two, three, reveal") what we got. I ended up with my husband and our busty blonde hostess (who my husband has being jones-ing for for years lol) and the other newbie couple ended up with the host. Her husband was okay sharing his petite little 5'5" Korean=American wife with his 6'5" friend but she was a little afraid since she'd never been with two guys at once before. So she asked if she could switch with me or Tina (our experienced hostess) and I said sure so she ended up with my husband and our hostess and I ended up with TWO of my husband's best friends who I knew liked me but wow! I had no idea how much!

I sooooo won that little switchero. As newbie's we weren't suppose to be with our S.O.'s in the first round anyway so it worked out perfectly imho

I can't really talk to traditional swinging, but we have an open marriage with a hot wife flair to it.

I'm subscribing to come back to this later.

That sounds like pretty much the same thing to me!

Would love to hear your thoughts or any advice or any complications with friends that you've ever experienced!

 

[Richard_C]

I can't really talk to traditional swinging, but we have an open marriage with a hot wife flair to it.

Im subscribing to come back to this later.

Should moving ever come in conversation with your significant other, I strongly recommend Ohio!! * nods *

 

[JerseyJade]

My boo has a few friends I would love to fool around with if he was okay with it.. BUT as far as their girlfriends or wives messing with MY boo... NO WAY!

 

[default24]

My boo has a few friends I would love to fool around with if he was okay with it.. BUT as far as their girlfriends or wives messing with MY boo... NO WAY!

Tsk, tsk, double standards

 

[Richard_C]

My boo has a few friends I would love to fool around with if he was okay with it.. BUT as far as their girlfriends or wives messing with MY boo... NO WAY!

:caning:

 

[CuMex1]

I voted No - but I/we might consider it if the situation was perfect

The reality is however as you know Liz I've shared her before twice. I'm fine with it as long as she let's me know about things first. I'm not so much the jealous type as she is. The chances of her letting me be with another woman of my choosing out of her own will is very slim to none. I am glad to hear it worked out for your though!

 

[Sh75]

Hi Liz.

I was actually being a little facetious when asking for details, but thank you for your openness. It sounded like a great time was had by all and i wish you well on your adventures.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Grabs a seat at the bar...

Yes for us. Mostly with one couple. We enjoy weekend getaways to the nearest club, but haven't been in several months, and I'm certain it will be several more, owing to the new realities we face. Our goal in going wasn't necessarily to hook up with new couples all the time, but to immerse in a sex centric environment for a while. And be naked. Much fun!

Learning curve is steep and can be brutal. People are flaky and may ditch on you at last minute. 4 way attraction/ compatibility just really tough to come by.

 

[Shi_One81]

We’ve gone to a local swingers club many times, but I really prefer the Minneapolis scene. It’s a tough balancing act because his kink is for me to be with other men, I do not have a kink for him to be with other women. So, I guess our dynamic is more hot wife than swinger *

 

[Jakevillines]

I can't really talk to traditional swinging, but we have an open marriage with a hot wife flair to it.

Im subscribing to come back to this later.

Tell us more. I am a nerd for hot wife stories.

 

[ydahecnot]

Tsk, tsk, double standards

I know, right??

Anyhoo, sounded like the key party in The Ice Storm

 

[Kimleigh]

Hubs and I are very new to this. We became members at a swingers club about a year and a half ago. We have gone to several events and had fun by ourselves, but never played with anyone while there. The good thing about this club is that they have a private FB group and also a private MeWe page for posting pics and getting to know other members. Because of the social media sites, we were able to have our first playtime with someone from the Club on St. Patty's Day weekend. It was nerve wracking and exhilirating at the same time - a fantastic time! There is still a ton I don't know about the lifestyle, and like Blade said, finding a couple to swap with is the hardest part (ours was a married guy, so I had most of the fun! ). Hubs and I are messaging with a married couple now though... and plans are being made for camping together this summer.

I'm glad you started a thread like this, Liz, for us newbies!

 

[LizVegas79]

My boo has a few friends I would love to fool around with if he was okay with it.. BUT as far as their girlfriends or wives messing with MY boo... NO WAY!

Tsk, tsk, double standards

:caning:

I voted No - but I/we might consider it if the situation was perfect

The reality is however as you know Liz I've shared her before twice. I'm fine with it as long as she let's me know about things first. I'm not so much the jealous type as she is. The chances of her letting me be with another woman of my choosing out of her own will is very slim to none. I am glad to hear it worked out for your though!

I know, right??

Anyhoo, sounded like the key party in The Ice Storm

Yes, what JJ expressed is a bit of a double standard. But, according to our friends who have been "in the lifestyle" for a few years (the ones who hosted our fun little party last weekend) what JJ expressed are feelings that are far more common among wives and gf's than I personally would have guessed.

I always thought it was guys not as interested in sharing their wives but I guess that's only because that's been my situation with my husband for the past several years. (he's very possessive - I really don't think it was a fear that another guy might be "bigger" than him, but, heck, who knows? I could be totally wrong lol)

Apparently, the number of married men into MFF+ hookups is FAR more than the number of married/in a committed relationship women who are into MFF+ hookups.

Again, this surprises me. But I guess only because I've been bi since an age I'm not allowed to actually say on here (which is fine btw).

However, according to our friends, the number of men interested in exploring MFF+ hookups is about equal to the number of married/committed women into exploring FMM+ hookups.

Finding that happy middle ground and a partner willing to be as equally open to sharing as their partner seems to be the tricky/somewhat rare combo.

Guys - for those of you NOT interested in sharing your wife/gf with other men, is it a size thing?

Women - for those of you NOT interested in sharing your husband/bf with other women, is it because you're afraid he secretly thinks she's prettier than you?

 

[LizVegas79]

I voted No - but I/we might consider it if the situation was perfect

The reality is however as you know Liz I've shared her before twice. I'm fine with it as long as she let's me know about things first. I'm not so much the jealous type as she is. The chances of her letting me be with another woman of my choosing out of her own will is very slim to none. I am glad to hear it worked out for your though!

Right. I know your situation very well b/c you have been so open and honest with me about it.

Thank you once again for sharing.

It's probably safe to say that women can be a bit more jealous of other women more than men get jealous of other men.

I'm really beginning to think that for men it all boils down to their own personal feelings about their own penis (as so many things usually do lol). Some guys are afraid another guy might be bigger than him.

Other guys, like my friend Lynn's husband for instance, are very, very into the idea of watching his wife with a much bigger guy. (a "bull" as I guess it's called in the lifestyle)

Fun Fact: my husband is considered a bull
(and so is his best friend who hosted our party - he's actually even a bigger "bull" than my husband which could be interesting down the road if I ever get the chance to be with them both at the same time )

Hi Liz.

I was actually being a little facetious when asking for details, but thank you for your openness. It sounded like a great time was had by all and i wish you well on your adventures.

Thank you!

Grabs a seat at the bar...

Yes for us. Mostly with one couple. We enjoy weekend getaways to the nearest club, but haven't been in several months, and I'm certain it will be several more, owing to the new realities we face. Our goal in going wasn't necessarily to hook up with new couples all the time, but to immerse in a sex centric environment for a while. And be naked. Much fun!

Learning curve is steep and can be brutal. People are flaky and may ditch on you at last minute. 4 way attraction/ compatibility just really tough to come by.

I so agree. I love being naked without being sexual. That's a rare place to find though. You are lucky!

Yeah, I'm worried about that "learning curve" which is why I started that thread.

What happens if we invite a Black guy and/or Black woman to one of our parties?

What happens if we invite our friend MacKenzie (who is a walking boner pill) and her stud bf to our next party? She'll be the youngest woman there by almost 10 years (she's probably almost 15 yrs younger than me and my friend Tina!). Will all the guys line up for her and kind of ignore the other wives?

We are working hard to keep our communication as open and honest as possible but I can already see that it's going to be a tricky dance.

And on top of that, what about our other couple friends who find out about these parties and want to be invited?

Drama is almost guaranteed I guess.

We’ve gone to a local swingers club many times, but I really prefer the Minneapolis scene. It’s a tough balancing act because his kink is for me to be with other men, I do not have a kink for him to be with other women. So, I guess our dynamic is more hot wife than swinger *

See? You're in that more common than I thought group too! Personally I'd love to be part of a hot wife dynamic but I just don't feel like my husband will ever get there. It seems like I have to let him be with other women so that he'll let me be with other men (and even that's a stretch for him!)

Thanks for sharing! Do you have anymore thoughts or advice about "the lifestyle"?

 

[LizVegas79]

Hubs and I are very new to this. We became members at a swingers club about a year and a half ago. We have gone to several events and had fun by ourselves, but never played with anyone while there. The good thing about this club is that they have a private FB group and also a private MeWe page for posting pics and getting to know other members. Because of the social media sites, we were able to have our first playtime with someone from the Club on St. Patty's Day weekend. It was nerve wracking and exhilirating at the same time - a fantastic time! There is still a ton I don't know about the lifestyle, and like Blade said, finding a couple to swap with is the hardest part (ours was a married guy, so I had most of the fun! ). Hubs and I are messaging with a married couple now though... and plans are being made for camping together this summer.

I'm glad you started a thread like this, Liz, for us newbies!

Thanks for sharing Kim! This kind of openness is exactly what I was hoping for because like you and others have pointed out, feelings can get hurt and things can get complicated pretty quick.

My husband and I went to a couple swingers clubs here in Vegas not long after we were first married (it was my idea after I found out he still had a thing for blondes lol). We looked around but did not hookup with anyone. They were pretty gross. But, I've heard two of them have gotten much nicer (the third went out of business)

For us, having the first round be no spouses allowed together and the second round being ONLY spouses together to reconnect really made a difference. That made the third, fourth and fifth rounds much, much easier.

Communication is so important throughout the whole "party" imho. For instance, my husband enjoyed having sloppy seconds (it was sloppy thirds actually ) with me MUCH more than I initially thought he would. Then in one of our other pairings, my friend Lynn discovered how much her husband enjoyed watching her clean me up after I mercilessly rode him into the mattress and made him cum faster than he wanted to.

(I'd be willing to bet their relationship is really going to change the most since she seemed to transform right before my eyes from nice, sweet, petite, submissive, yes-dear-anything-you-say, sexually subdued Korean-American wife into I-am-so-out-of-your-league-you-will-obey-everything-I-say-from-now-on spitfire.

I like the idea of the private FB group. Getting to choose who you want to explore boundaries seems so much less stressful than guessing or hoping.

Although, on the other side of the friends dynamic is the fact that we do all know each other and work with each other. What if something happens? What if someone gets jealous or their relationship falls apart? What if some of our other friends find out and either want to join or are repulsed and start to ghost us?

In a weird way I almost feel like my life has been changed more by what happened last weekend between me, my husband and four of our friends than by the coronavirus. I actually kind of hope that it turns out to be true.

Do you know what I mean?

Ooo, good luck with the married couple! Camping together sounds like a fun idea!

Maybe something else to consider, according to our friends, RV'ers all around the country are a huge part of the swinger community!

 

[iaabanag]

Very interesting thread Lizzie and glad you brought this up. I suppose it is tricky with friends and the good and the bad part both is the same- you know them really well and also like hanging gout with them.

Well, you took it slow and looks like it happened the right way. Looking forward to hear about the next encounter

 

[Leigh81]

We still have never made it to a swingers club but we have swung/swapped with one other couple in the past. We started with the hot wife thing then I explored my bi side. Now the past 5 years we're in what I call a triad type relationship with another woman.
I didn't answer the poll as we would never swing with close long time friends. Really wouldn't want to with total strangers either. I like the way Kimleigh explained how the club works in her situation. I like the idea of doing things on your own first, meeting new couples there & see if you click.

Our swing was with a couple who moved into our neighborhood from out west. We got to know them & we clicked as friends. We had no intention of ever swapping with them but they learned about my GF who lives with us & were both intrigued. We openly chatted a couple of times with the wife admitting she was bi curious. The first time of anything sexual was with us 3 women together with the men only watching.
After that it was primarily just the 4 of us when we swapped. We hung out often but we only swapped a few times. It ended when they announced that they were stopping so they could start a family. Now we're just regular friends with no weirdness between us. I think it could be weird if it was more long time friends.
That is the extent of our swinging.
A swing club is on the bucket list. If we did go we probably wouldn't do anything. I think the furthest we'd go would be going into the big play area & have sex just with each other. That wouldn't happen our first visit though, if we enjoyed ourselves then possibly it would happen on our 2nd visit.