Special technique to get your partner off better/faster? Asking so I can be a better lover

[Hitchiker69]

Do you have a special sex technique that gets your partner off quickly and strongly?

I'm hoping to learn and share ideas.

My spouse loves it when I lick her clit in a 'vertical' stroke, very quickly, at the same time diddiling with a finger in a sideways back and forth motion, and at a different pace than my tongue.

Gets her off in a hurry, with lots of moaning and hip thrusting.

Do you have any tips to share? Male or female partner, either way. I'm a Bi male looking to learn to do sex better for my partners

 

[Goldenfinger]

everybody likes some thing different. So my tricks might not work for you. You need to find your own tricks and there’s one great way to do that. Ask, communicate You’ll get your answer.

 

[Goldenfinger]

everybody likes some thing different. So my tricks might not work for you. You need to find your own tricks and there’s one great way to do that. Ask, communicate You’ll get your answer.

one time i put my fingers inside her and felt around and she was telling me how it felt in the different areas. i made a mental finger map. We did that just because. Communication can even be fun.

 

[PersonalFavors]

Everybody likes some thing different. Each twat inspires me differently. I just love when they like what I needed to do....

 

[Wordsworth]

if you spend years trying this little lick and that little flick, combined with just the right rhythm to fiddle a girl off, you'll find you can straddle that girl and play her like a Stradivarius.

As others have alluded, this skillset will be just a basic starter set for the next one who will respond entirely differently to different stimuli. There's no magic move or string of dirty words to rasp in her ear.

Which is fine. Figuring it out each time is half the fun.

 

[gtnlynn]

My wife cannot resist my using my tongue on her. Oral sex always brings her to orgasm or close to it.

 

[dozer2025]

Every woman is different. I've joked around that being with a new female partner for the first time is like being every character in a heist movie. You are the safe cracker, the femme fatale seducing somebody, the muscle fighting the security guards, the hacker trying to crack the firewall... . You'll find something that drives your partner wild, but when things end and you move on to somebody else you'll try that move and they'll just look back with a weird look and say "What the hell are you doing?"
My wife likes me to stimulate her g-spot with two fingers in a scissoring/beckoning motion gentle suction and tongue movements on her clit.
A FWB last year wanted me to thrust three fingers in and out rapidly while being quite rough on her clit with my mouth or other hand.
An older woman (40s) that I hooked up with when I was 19/20 didn't want penetration, but she had me rub her clit like it had a tough stain I just couldn't seem to buff out. She came faster than any woman I've ever known!

 

[IrisAlthea]

Do you have a special sex technique that gets your partner off quickly and strongly?

I'm hoping to learn and share ideas.

My spouse loves it when I lick her clit in a 'vertical' stroke, very quickly, at the same time diddiling with a finger in a sideways back and forth motion, and at a different pace than my tongue.

Gets her off in a hurry, with lots of moaning and hip thrusting.

Do you have any tips to share? Male or female partner, either way. I'm a Bi male looking to learn to do sex better for my partners

Perhaps don’t be in a hurry and make it more about the journey than the destination, at least some of the time?

 

[Hitchiker69]

I'd like to suggest TALKING to your partner.

Of course talking. Even better to enter the bedroom with a skill set and knowledge. Which might be learned from other Lit members sharing here.

 

[Hitchiker69]

Also they are gonna get off the way they get off. It sounds like you don't want to be a better lover. It sounds like you want a very porny partner.

I appreciate a lover who has a diverse range of sex skills.

 

[Britva415]

This might sound weird and I’m sure there will be flamers accusing me of making up woo-woo shit.

But.

A real “trick” (I don’t mean it’s a trick, but it is a skill) is to sense the sensations and energy your partner feels.

You can do this with your own body, and that’s a good place to start if you’re not already skilled at feeling your own body. The mindfulness practice called “body scan” is a way to practice and develop this skill if it’s weak. This is taught as a static thing to help with mental focus and physical and energetic sensitivity.

From there, do it not statically but while something is causing sensations to happen to you. Trace how the direct stimulus causes other sensations in your body as they ripple out and spread away from the point of the stimulus. Watch for distant effects which aren’t directly connected to that spot. Feel how there are energies which carry these physically-felt effects around different parts of your body.

Someone who knows how to do this will be aware that the way it’s done, there’s no clearer or better way to explain this, is by “putting your mind in your body.” One might be familiar with the phrase “getting out of your head,” this is one manifestation of that idea. One puts their mind in different parts of their body to learn to sense the different parts. When someone is good at it, they can put their mind in their whole body all at once.

OK, probably none of that is controversial. Here’s the thing.

You cannot hope to have any idea what your partner is feeling if you cannot do this in your own body. But if you can, then it is also possible to put your mind in their body. And really sense, feel, understand how what you’re doing is affecting them. It’s like listening but not with your ears. It really is like moving your mind into the physical space of their body and paying attention to what you can be aware of there.

Any good bodyworker knows this. Many good BDSM practicioners know about this. Chances are that very few of them have put this into words like I’m doing.

Imagine you have an aura and she does too, and there is space where your auras merge. I’m not saying auras are real, I don’t have any idea or what they would be if they are, but it’s a useful mental picture. You ever feel something in your personal space without really knowing how you sensed it?

It’s an intuition and has a physical component to it as well. Obviously my nerves do not extend into my partner’s body. But my nervous system can pick up her nervous system. I can’t explain how, so that’s why people will think this is woo-woo, but you might as well say the same thing about all other real but not-fully-explained instances of empathetic perception.

Then there will be the feckin blokes who will flame this as simpery for being “sensitive.” dytigaf

Anyway, if you know this, you can make use of any “technique” anyone suggests. You can make up your own. You can teach your partner things she never knew.

If you don’t know this, most of your ”techniques” won’t work very well for most of your partners.

 

[PersonalFavors]

Words well spoken sir. I was lucky enough when I discovered sensuality that she like myself could achieve things with her own body before she tried to with mine.
the best extension to this later in life was massage. I had a few with happy endings. After tiring of the cost I discovered others that had tired of the cost of massage and enjoyed the more sensual aspect as well.
Finding pleasure by experimenting with pleasure you enjoy is indescribable. I also believe feeling pleasure by giving pleasure may be more of what separates us from the animals than our ability to reason.
Sad to think that as you describe some may never know.

 

[AlexBailey]

Fast can work in a moment of passion when everyone is already getting hard and wet…

If your partner isn’t begging for penetration, slow down a little bit. Watch their reactions to your touch, pay special attention to their breathing…what makes them catch their breath and what makes their toes curl?

Let the energy between you build, that’s the ‘speed’ limit. A touch can be felt throughout your entire beings but that connection can take time to develop.

 

[Elle4u2use]

Utilize all 5 senses....
Stare with eyes
Touch
Taste
Moan
Sniff

 

[MeganMN33]

My mother told me the power of nylons when growing up. Still works!

 

[ronde]

I agree with those who ask why it should be fast. In my experience, the best sex for both of is sex that takes a while to get to the orgasm part. Quickies are fun some of the time, but is usually more about the guy than the girl. To me, slow means sharing. Fast means taking. Perhaps I've led a sheltered life or I've just been doing it wrong, but I've never been with a woman who usually got that ready very fast, even with oral. That was fine with me because I absolutely love foreplay. My partners have seemed to be of like mind.

 

[Handeguy]

I agree with those who ask why it should be fast. In my experience, the best sex for both of is sex that takes a while to get to the orgasm part. Quickies are fun some of the time, but is usually more about the guy than the girl. To me, slow means sharing. Fast means taking. Perhaps I've led a sheltered life or I've just been doing it wrong, but I've never been with a woman who usually got that ready very fast, even with oral. That was fine with me because I absolutely love foreplay. My partners have seemed to be of like mind.

The quickie is the junk food of sex. Okay once in awhile, briefly satisfies a craving, but you certainly wouldn't want to try to live on it and it's unhealthy over the long run if consumed regularly.

 

[sixfoot4]

Getting each other off faster is best when you're both frantic to fuck each other, either from new lust, or time pressure, or it's in a semi public place, etc, so it's a full consensual wham bang fuck-each-other-stupid got to make each other cum type of fuck.

 

[PersonalFavors]

Better faster is erotic foreplay. If it takes too long I am not ready for the next step. I love feeling her climax when I lick her and a blow job knowing how to get me there is like winding me up to fuck for hours... Long, slow, takes for ever to figure it out, or get me there and let go or deny the climax and it will go flat. Maybe one and done at best.

 

[Massagemanwpg]

Quick question: My partner and I have a pretty extensive collection of toys. I just purchased a large dildo. It’s bigger than our other dildos, the biggest of which we don’t use a lot but when we do she cums so hard. It is certainly thicker than my cock and about an inch longer. Should I surprise her or tell her about it and / or show it to her before we play?

 

[haventdonethat]

Do you have a special sex technique that gets your partner off quickly and strongly?

Just the opposite. I try and slow her down.

As it is she cums at the merest initial touch, not measured in minuets but in seconds. Like less than 10 seconds. And that is just the first, leading to a chain of unimaginable, strong orgasms.

So, in answer to your question; N O!