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For you wives...
Get your husband to a doctor and find out if his testosterone levels are low. Mine were, although it didn't affect my sex desire it did affect my energy level. Just didn't want to do the things I enjoyed before.
Testosterone effects every man a little different.
Have him get a physical and make sure the doc tests his levels. It could be harming him in other ways.
You sound like a big bag of fun. Almost all relationships would not survive swinging too long. I would love to be with someone who could separate sex from love and have a pile of fun. Good luck!
You may ask..you're right about the elephant in the room...I've used that terminology before...he get's defensive, tells me he's going back to the doctor, etc...in the past it hasn't helped..and now he just doesn't seem to care at all..
so you're right..it's truly a sad state of affairs, but I thank you for your support
...
You do the dishes because you live there, not because you are trying to prove yourself worthy of a little gold star in the form of sex.
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Please do not judge me. I am 35, healthy, attractive and in a sexless marriage. My husband and I have not been intimate in over 3 years.
He has zero desire - you may speculate all you want but no I do not think he is gay, no he will not go to marriage counseling. I have gone on my own but it is hard to fix a marriage from one side. We otherwise get along, and yes there is a child which makes leaving very hard - especially since we otherwise function very well as a family!
That said, should I be complacent with with a life of celibacy? We are friends, get along but it is platonic? Maybe, maybe there is nothing really wrong with that?
I have has affairs - both long term and short and was left feeling empty, more alone than before.
Truly I want to LOVE(!!!) - hard, unabashedly, passionately, devotedly, endlessly. And I want to be so loved in return.
But maybe that isn't what marriage is about? Maybe what I have is as close to good as it gets?
Sorry for my late night and tipsy ramble ... I have had a few glasses of Pinot Grigio and I am waxing philosophic.