Rules are not meant to be broken!

[Cumference]

There is another element to that.

For some reason, people have a tendency to forget common sense, if you set up too many rules.

You need some general Dos and Don'ts (in some cases the risk is not obvious), and then you need people to know what they are doing and use their heads.


"If you put up too many signs, the signs become invisible"

 

[Endless_Night]

< I have found that the attitude towards "idiot proofing" things can vary greatly from country to country... For instance, the signs to keep your arms and legs inside your roller coaster cart are not deemed necessary in some foreign countries. However, this may also be a product of legal culpability under the local justice system... And I don't remember any signs at the Running of the Bulls saying Hey! These bulls are dangerous Common sense of one's own can be the best deterrent. >

This ^ is so true. Some of the things I see qualified with a, "Do not try this at home," are completely ridiculous. But, as our legal system makes it possible to sue at the drop of a hat, attempts at "idiot proofing" will no doubt continue.

 

[rosco rathbone]

rules are not meant to be broken!

I know, right?

They are RULES and they are meant to be followed.

Sometimes people break them and then you have to literally beat them on their ass with a strop.

 

[DVS]

..."If you put up too many signs, the signs become invisible"

This totally makes sense. Like with the many traffic lights and signs we see on our busy streets telling us to to a certain speed, a certain direction, in a certain lane, be sure to signal our intentions and on and on.

After a while, all of those signs and rules can become invisible. What we need to do is get so used to doing things the correct way that it's OK when all of those signs become invisible.

Driving a car is one of those things that we really need to know what is right and what is wrong. Our very lives, or the lives of others could depend on this. I don't drive much in rush hour traffic as I once did, but when I do, I really notice the idiots on the road so much more.

I think there was a time when I either blew that idiocy off as one of those common things, or there were so many of them, that they just didn't register in my brain. Or, there could be more idiots on the road today than there used to be. If that's the case, the world is getting less safe every day.

With BDSM play, we need to plan out things and make sure everything is working before we start. Make sure you have all of your safety tools in place and they all are working as they should.

If you are into something like electrical play, breath play or something else that involves taking things to the edge, be sure everything you use in that is working as it should. All it takes is one thing to malfunction and your whole day could suffer...maybe your whole world.

Medical play requires things to be extra clean. I'm not into medical play, because I don't enjoy needles. Also, any cutting or knife play needs to be very clean to ward off any infections.

Most types of play need things to be cleaned afterwards, so nothing grows on them. And you might think that your toys are clean, but things can grow in cracks and minute holes in surfaces that you can't see with the naked eye. Thorough cleaning is ALWAYS a necessary function.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I think age plays into some of this. For example, when I was younger I took a lot more risks while driving, but now, after experiencing so many people that broke the driving rules and paid for that with their own lives, I slow down and drive safer. EXPERIENCE has just taught me it is just not worth it. (My own sister died while texting)

With sex, where I have a wife that enjoys choking and has rape fantasies, I encourage her to tell me what she likes so that I can please her. That is empowering for her over her last relationship and failed marriage where her needs and desires were never met.

 

[CuttingEdge]

Me and my wife do not use the stop light method of control, but rather she will use the word "Mercy". For us it does not mean stop, but rather "ease up a little", and so it works well for us, as it has a less obtrusive sound to it then "green", "yellow" or "red".

 

[DVS]

Me and my wife do not use the stop light method of control, but rather she will use the word "Mercy". For us it does not mean stop, but rather "ease up a little", and so it works well for us, as it has a less obtrusive sound to it then "green", "yellow" or "red".

I understand your thoughts and I can agree with you. A safe word is just something that is an agreed on word or phrase to let everybody know what's going on. But, to say your word of mercy is less obtrusive sounding than green yellow or red, sometimes you want something that doesn't blend in with what's going. A safe word is there to get your attention. You sometimes need something that is more obtrusive to what's going on.

 

[Mei5ter]

Those stories made my boys ache. Some male submissives can be intimidated into just about anything for Mistress' pleasure. And for that, they end up singing soprano?

Actually, castration after puberty doesn't make a male voice go back higher. This is a common myth but is, forgive me, bollocks (ba dmm, tss).

Castration before puberty prevents it lowering, although it does mature and develop into an adult version of an unbroken voice. At least one castrato singer was still alive and recorded in the early days of phonographs/gramophone.

So any male subs who suffer a tragic testicular accident if Mistress can't wear heels that high successfully and slips while chained to them...not even a unique singing voice as a consolation prize.

 

[emcwolf13]

A safe word is there to get your attention.

This! Absolutely! It's supposed to "ruin the mood" because something is very wrong.

I also agree with the OP about rules/safety. It's crucial to be careful in kink, especially with edge play activities where there's a very high likelihood of serious emotional and/or bodily harm should something go awry. Common sense, yes, but it's easy to gloss over it.

Getting used to rules is a bit like car alarms: eventually you can get so desensitized to them that instead of thinking a panicked "who's stealing that car?!" the initial thought is instead an apathetic "will someone stop that stupid noise". It's a good practice to remind ourselves of why the rules and warnings are there, so thank you for the excellent reminder.