Post cancer, wife's libido is dead. Sexless marriage.

[MarkBurr]

Hello all, reaching out to see if there are others in the same boat with your partner. I love my wife dearly. She defeated cancer and has had nearly a full recovery. Unfortunately the only real casualty has been her libido. Sex is extremely painful for her post chemotherapy and when she has tried in the past I could tell that she was going through the motions and not really there. The last thing I want for her to do is hurt herself to please me. Seeing her cringe in pain from intercourse is not something that gets me hard. She has visited a few gynecologists as well as woman's health therapy to no avail. It's a two fold problem....she simply doesn't need or want sex anymore. We have had the candid conversation about if it was me or if she needed someone else....this was settled. She simply has no "MoJo" anymore and it hurts to much so why try. Personally, having grown up in a family with a member with a disability, I am in a unique situation to understand....but damn...I am so freaking horny and alone with these feelings. Expressing them to her only makes her feel bad. I am not the kind of person who would cheat in physical relationship. I am hoping to see if I can find others like me on this site. There have to be others like me, stuck in a sexless but loving relationship. Others who love their spouses/ partners but need to express themselves sexually in conversations with a friend. Let me know. I am hoping to do something with all of my dirty thoughts and desires. I am open to pretty much everything but torture. If I as dating, at this point in my life, I would most definitely be bi sexual and open to explore all things sensual and erotic.

 

[Debbie]

Ffs.

Tell her how you are feeling and put your big pants on.

She's still recovering from beating cancer.

She's alive.

You love her.

Then help her.

You can have sexual intimacy without intercourse.

You can have a sex life and make love to each other.

Just be compassionate + communicate and put your thinking cap on.

Sex toys.

Sex therapist.

Google.

Supposedly warm apple pies are sexxxy. (American pie movie)

 

[FL30]

There are lots of sexless marriages not only in the US, but all over the world. Probably 10% or more marriages are sexless.

You have two choices; accept it and live as you are or leave and start anew.

 

[MarkBurr]

Ffs.

Tell her how you are feeling and put your big pants on.

She's still recovering from beating cancer.

She's alive.

You love her.

Then help her.

You can have sexual intimacy without intercourse.

You can have a sex life and make love to each other.

Just be compassionate + communicate and put your thinking cap on.

Sex toys.

Sex therapist.

Google.

Supposedly warm apple pies are sexxxy. (American pie movie)

It’s been 22 years now . We have done all of that. Any intimate sexual encounters are gone as it is just a painful memory. As I am getting older I am finding that I want sex. Yes I realize this could easily be reversed.

 

[Saint_Ann]

In the end there is one dance you'll do alone. ~Jackson Browne

 

[NC_Coastal]

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

You're a heartless fuck. I have stage 4 cancer, and for over a year and half my wife and I didn't have sex. But every day, I told her I loved her, and she would hold me in bed every night as my entire body hurt and she'd tell me how it was going to get better.

Well, I'm lucky and it is better and our sex life is better than ever. But she was prepared to go the distance if need be.

 

[Debbie]

Then I guess you are the one with decisions to make.

I wouldnt like it if knew my husband felt "stuck" in a sexless marriage.

I would want to know he loved me and if this was a dealbreaker and we either go our separate ways or try and find solutions.

Even if that meant bringing someone into the relationship for sex only.

When bigred wasnt well "full" sex wasnt possible so we got inventive.

Warm long showers with lots of intimacy.

Naughty nurse bed baths.

phone sex "dates"

Dirty dates. Even if it was just a picnic feeding each other. Being naked and holding each other. Touching. Talking. Relaxing.

 

[Justhappytobealive]

In the past 10 years of our fourty year marriage she’s has had…

Four years of menopause
Three heart attacks
Six stints
Breast cancer
Colon cancer
Labia cancer

Needless to say we now have hallway sex. Just the thought of sex makes her I’ll.

For me I’m as horny as a 18 year old on prom night. She doesn’t want to know who or where I go.

 

[coati]

You're a heartless fuck. I have stage 4 cancer, and for over a year and half my wife and I didn't have sex. But every day, I told her I loved her, and she would hold me in bed every night as my entire body hurt and she'd tell me how it was going to get better.

Well, I'm lucky and it is better and our sex life is better than ever. But she was prepared to go the distance if need be.

I had wondered where you were, Stew. Good wishes to you, Bro.

 

[ReluctDaddy]

My wife and I clicked because she could keep up with me and was willing to try or was into everything I was. Before we married we talked about this very thing. I refuse to go witbout sex, I'm an adult and I enjoy it. She agreed entirely. We decided that if either partner ever could not or would not put out an reasonable amount then the other was free to seek other company as long as precautions were taken and it ended if things changed. We settled on 5 days a week. Within 5 years she dropped to once or twice a month, 10 years was one every couple of months. 15 years later its down to quarterly and I'm dominating my friends wife, with their concent, so hard so often their bed turns into a swimming pool. Wife knows, hasn't said or changed a thing. She seems to enjoy cuddling more on those nights.

 

[Plasmaball]

We have issues to deal with. Yours is irrelevant

 

[allclad]

Hookers are your friend, just do some research first.

 

[ReluctDaddy]

Hookers are your friend, just do some research first.

While this is an option its not one I would recommend, even if your partner knows. To much risk involved. Go with a clean and dependable fuck buddy or two instead.
Communication is the golden key to most everything in a relationship. I took care of most all problems I could foresee before getting married just by communicating. Its never to late to start communicating. You just need to sit down and have a nice adult conversation with your partner. No overwhelming emotions, no negitive emotions at all. Don't be pushy or insistant. Explain the your side situation, listen to theirs. Come up with options together. Give her some more time if needed. All that said, sadly not everyone is willing to compromise or accept that they do not own their partner. It may come down to some tough decisions for the two of you.

 

[allclad]

While this is an option its not one I would recommend, even if your partner knows. To much risk involved. Go with a clean and dependable fuck buddy or two instead.
Communication is the golden key to most everything in a relationship. I took care of most all problems I could foresee before getting married just by communicating. Its never to late to start communicating. You just need to sit down and have a nice adult conversation with your partner. No overwhelming emotions, no negitive emotions at all. Don't be pushy or insistant. Explain the your side situation, listen to theirs. Come up with options together. Give her some more time if needed. All that said, sadly not everyone is willing to compromise or accept that they do not own their partner. It may come down to some tough decisions for the two of you.

Yeah because people don't become attached and emotions never get involved;

Trust me, a rando internet dude, and go with the hooker. Less risk and more reliable.

 

[MarkBurr]

Hookers are your friend, just do some research first.

I wish I lived in a less puritanical society where hookers were available and safe. Difficult to know where and how to find one.

 

[allclad]

I wish I lived in a less puritanical society where hookers were available and safe. Difficult to know where and how to find one.

If you know where to look on the internet, there is plenty of useful info available to make an informed decision.

 

[Volk359]

If you know where to look on the internet, there is plenty of useful info available to make an informed decision.

wish there was an app for that!

I’m actually going to an out of town. conference in April and would like to spend a couple hours with an escort. It’s a perfect opportunity for me.

 

[ravus96]

I’m close to being in the same boat, accept my marriage is now loveless as well as sexless. I hope you can hold on to your emotional connection with your wife. I’ld be lying if I tried to deny that the lack of sex life has been the biggest cancer eroding the feelings that had developed in our friendship at the beginning. Certainly not the only problems... I’ve never been in love with my wife in the way I’ve been with half a dozen of my female friends over the years, lucky me thou those stronger feeling have never been reciprocated by the women in question. I’d never found my wife physically attractive, she is ironically the polar opposite to everything I find visually attractive in women. I’ld always been honest and up front with her about all of this perhaps to brutally so about all the reasons we shouldn’t get together. However she’s stubborner than any mule, told me not to worry about my feelings they’d catch up to hers in time, I was just slow coming forward and that she had the sex drive for both of us.... life loves irony anyway I’ve waffled and winged enough for 6 posts already.

 

[spacekowboy]

I love how these threads are always made by some shitstain with a handful of posts.

 

[wishywashy1956]

Hello all, reaching out to see if there are others in the same boat with your partner. I love my wife dearly. She defeated cancer and has had nearly a full recovery. Unfortunately the only real casualty has been her libido. Sex is extremely painful for her post chemotherapy and when she has tried in the past I could tell that she was going through the motions and not really there. The last thing I want for her to do is hurt herself to please me. Seeing her cringe in pain from intercourse is not something that gets me hard. She has visited a few gynecologists as well as woman's health therapy to no avail. It's a two fold problem....she simply doesn't need or want sex anymore. We have had the candid conversation about if it was me or if she needed someone else....this was settled. She simply has no "MoJo" anymore and it hurts to much so why try. Personally, having grown up in a family with a member with a disability, I am in a unique situation to understand....but damn...I am so freaking horny and alone with these feelings. Expressing them to her only makes her feel bad. I am not the kind of person who would cheat in physical relationship. I am hoping to see if I can find others like me on this site. There have to be others like me, stuck in a sexless but loving relationship. Others who love their spouses/ partners but need to express themselves sexually in conversations with a friend. Let me know. I am hoping to do something with all of my dirty thoughts and desires. I am open to pretty much everything but torture. If I as dating, at this point in my life, I would most definitely be bi sexual and open to explore all things sensual and erotic.

Let us talk sometime sweetie

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Hello all, reaching out to see if there are others in the same boat with your partner. I love my wife dearly. She defeated cancer and has had nearly a full recovery. Unfortunately the only real casualty has been her libido. Sex is extremely painful for her post chemotherapy and when she has tried in the past I could tell that she was going through the motions and not really there. The last thing I want for her to do is hurt herself to please me. Seeing her cringe in pain from intercourse is not something that gets me hard. She has visited a few gynecologists as well as woman's health therapy to no avail. It's a two fold problem....she simply doesn't need or want sex anymore. We have had the candid conversation about if it was me or if she needed someone else....this was settled. She simply has no "MoJo" anymore and it hurts to much so why try. Personally, having grown up in a family with a member with a disability, I am in a unique situation to understand....but damn...I am so freaking horny and alone with these feelings. Expressing them to her only makes her feel bad. I am not the kind of person who would cheat in physical relationship. I am hoping to see if I can find others like me on this site. There have to be others like me, stuck in a sexless but loving relationship. Others who love their spouses/ partners but need to express themselves sexually in conversations with a friend. Let me know. I am hoping to do something with all of my dirty thoughts and desires. I am open to pretty much everything but torture. If I as dating, at this point in my life, I would most definitely be bi sexual and open to explore all things sensual and erotic.

Glad she’s alright! I’ll have to say chemo is dangerous in many ways. Steals the quality of life in most cases. It’s very damaging to the body. Good luck! I hope she continues to heal until she’s vivacious again!

 

[CliimaxForYou]

Hello all, reaching out to see if there are others in the same boat with your partner. I love my wife dearly. She defeated cancer and has had nearly a full recovery. Unfortunately the only real casualty has been her libido. Sex is extremely painful for her post chemotherapy and when she has tried in the past I could tell that she was going through the motions and not really there. The last thing I want for her to do is hurt herself to please me. Seeing her cringe in pain from intercourse is not something that gets me hard. She has visited a few gynecologists as well as woman's health therapy to no avail. It's a two fold problem....she simply doesn't need or want sex anymore. We have had the candid conversation about if it was me or if she needed someone else....this was settled. She simply has no "MoJo" anymore and it hurts to much so why try. Personally, having grown up in a family with a member with a disability, I am in a unique situation to understand....but damn...I am so freaking horny and alone with these feelings. Expressing them to her only makes her feel bad. I am not the kind of person who would cheat in physical relationship. I am hoping to see if I can find others like me on this site. There have to be others like me, stuck in a sexless but loving relationship. Others who love their spouses/ partners but need to express themselves sexually in conversations with a friend. Let me know. I am hoping to do something with all of my dirty thoughts and desires. I am open to pretty much everything but torture. If I as dating, at this point in my life, I would most definitely be bi sexual and open to explore all things sensual and erotic.

I left you a private message about my experience with this.

 

[Gory]

Hello all, reaching out to see if there are others in the same boat with your partner. I love my wife dearly. She defeated cancer and has had nearly a full recovery. Unfortunately the only real casualty has been her libido. Sex is extremely painful for her post chemotherapy and when she has tried in the past I could tell that she was going through the motions and not really there. The last thing I want for her to do is hurt herself to please me. Seeing her cringe in pain from intercourse is not something that gets me hard. She has visited a few gynecologists as well as woman's health therapy to no avail. It's a two fold problem....she simply doesn't need or want sex anymore. We have had the candid conversation about if it was me or if she needed someone else....this was settled. She simply has no "MoJo" anymore and it hurts to much so why try. Personally, having grown up in a family with a member with a disability, I am in a unique situation to understand....but damn...I am so freaking horny and alone with these feelings. Expressing them to her only makes her feel bad. I am not the kind of person who would cheat in physical relationship. I am hoping to see if I can find others like me on this site. There have to be others like me, stuck in a sexless but loving relationship. Others who love their spouses/ partners but need to express themselves sexually in conversations with a friend. Let me know. I am hoping to do something with all of my dirty thoughts and desires. I am open to pretty much everything but torture. If I as dating, at this point in my life, I would most definitely be bi sexual and open to explore all things sensual and erotic.

Mark. Just be Careful on this Site. I had one Lady Rip me a New Ass for this same thing. Mark hang in there stay Married and just do things together. Don’t cheat on Her.

 

[DoctorSmith8]

Hello all, reaching out to see if there are others in the same boat with your partner. I love my wife dearly. She defeated cancer and has had nearly a full recovery. Unfortunately the only real casualty has been her libido. Sex is extremely painful for her post chemotherapy and when she has tried in the past I could tell that she was going through the motions and not really there. The last thing I want for her to do is hurt herself to please me. Seeing her cringe in pain from intercourse is not something that gets me hard. She has visited a few gynecologists as well as woman's health therapy to no avail. It's a two fold problem....she simply doesn't need or want sex anymore. We have had the candid conversation about if it was me or if she needed someone else....this was settled. She simply has no "MoJo" anymore and it hurts to much so why try. Personally, having grown up in a family with a member with a disability, I am in a unique situation to understand....but damn...I am so freaking horny and alone with these feelings. Expressing them to her only makes her feel bad. I am not the kind of person who would cheat in physical relationship. I am hoping to see if I can find others like me on this site. There have to be others like me, stuck in a sexless but loving relationship. Others who love their spouses/ partners but need to express themselves sexually in conversations with a friend. Let me know. I am hoping to do something with all of my dirty thoughts and desires. I am open to pretty much everything but torture. If I as dating, at this point in my life, I would most definitely be bi sexual and open to explore all things sensual and erotic.

I talked to a counselor friend of mine about it and all he had to say is that situation leads to many divorces. That certainly wasn't very helpful. But I am in the same boat. It is very frustrating. I believe my wife is just too old now. (68) But I still function like I am in my 20s. Back when I was young, I enjoyed sleep outs with my friends, getting naked and masturbating each other. I've been in a few men's on-line groups that share cock pics. I love the complements, but can't picture myself ever really trying that.