"On-screen sex" v. sexual tension

[Flybynite1892]

I'm still new here, so I have way less experience than most of you, and a I'm working with a much smaller sample size in terms of readership. But I recently had a story, which I thought was kind of a transitionary chapter, do way better than I expected (for me at least) even though there was no "on-screen" sex or nudity or anything like that. It was just characters talking. And it was hot to me, but I wasn't sure if it would translate well to others. This followed a chapter which was pretty much all "on-screen" sex stuff (I write in BDSM, so a lot of things are kind of sex-equivalent that might not be in other genres) that didn't do as well. As in, I wasn't sure if I should keep going with the story, because it didn't seem to land well.

So my question is this: what is your experience with writing stuff where you're just building sexual tension? As a reader, I love that when it's done well, but I've never actually thought about what it means to "do that well," versus having everything "on-screen." I really want to understand this distinction better as a writer.

 

[StillStunned]

I enjoy doing it. "Flesh for Fantasy" is essentially all anticipation, but with a different kind of climax at the end.

And "The Rivals" spreads the build-up across five chapters and nearly 50k words. Stuff happens, but mostly that helps to let the heat simmer.

I like to tap into some memories of that kind of anticipation. When you think it's going to happen, but you're not entirely sure. You both want it to happen, but neither dares to make the first move. The nervousness, knowing that you've got to do something before the moment slips away, the way time seems to slow as you lean in for that first kiss, and then the world just clicks into place...

But there needs to be a logical reason to draw it out for as long as possible. The reader needs to believe that it could happen, that you're not just playing with them.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

So my question is this: what is your experience with writing stuff where you're just building sexual tension?

The fap crowd mostly hates buildup and they don't require much if any tension, but the readers who like their buildup and tension really do seem to appreciate it immensely. The folks who like my work seem to love the buildup that I give making the 'payoff' better, and the ones who hate my stuff are almost all "too much story, not enough fucking."

My one story that is all build up and no payoff is doing quite poorly.

 

[lovecraft68]

The fap crowd mostly hates buildup and they don't require much if any tension, but the readers who like their buildup and tension really do seem to appreciate it immensely. The folks who like my work seem to love the buildup that I give making the 'payoff' better, and the ones who hate my stuff are almost all "too much story, not enough fucking."

My one story that is all build up and no payoff is doing quite poorly.

Eventually even the people who enjoy slow burn stories want the payoff, especially because the slow building tension makes the climax all the more exciting.

 

[StillStunned]

The fap crowd mostly hates buildup and they don't require much if any tension,

I asked the fap crowd, and they say they appreciate build-up and tension as much as anyone, as long as it's going somewhere. What they don't like, they say, is build-up for its own sake. That's either poor writing, they say, or else the writer is just yanking their chain. Either way, they say, it's a waste of their time.

The fap crowd are surprisingly philosophical.

 

[THBGato]

I'm quite new here too (only been writing since January) and I only read/write in the Lesbian Sex category.

With that caveat about my advice noted, I would say it is all about the build up. If you look at the top ranked stories in that category, they are nearly all chapters in long slow-burn stories where the actual sex doesn't happen until chapters 2 or 3.

There are also some brilliant stories here that avoid sex almost entirely, I'd go gay for you being possibly my favourite, while Coming to grips is incredibly powerful.

It seems to be the etiquette, at least in Lesbian Sex, to put an author's note at the top of stories like that to warn readers that there is no nookie, so they can look elsewhere if that's not their bag. Probably helps avoid people sticking a disgruntled comment/vote on the end.

 

[Flybynite1892]

I enjoy doing it. "Flesh for Fantasy" is essentially all anticipation, but with a different kind of climax at the end.

And "The Rivals" spreads the build-up across five chapters and nearly 50k words. Stuff happens, but mostly that helps to let the heat simmer.

I like to tap into some memories of that kind of anticipation. When you think it's going to happen, but you're not entirely sure. You both want it to happen, but neither dares to make the first move. The nervousness, knowing that you've got to do something before the moment slips away, the way time seems to slow as you lean in for that first kiss, and then the world just clicks into place...

But there needs to be a logical reason to draw it out for as long as possible. The reader needs to believe that it could happen, that you're not just playing with them.

As a reader, I agree that there does need to be a logical reason for the buildup. Idk, I'm kind of forgiving on what that looks like, to some extent. But I do think we need to be giving readers at least some reasonable basis for the sexual tension to build. I think we're all going to vary on what we think works in this respect.

 

[Flybynite1892]

I'm quite new here too (only been writing since January) and I only read/write in the Lesbian Sex category.

With that caveat about my advice noted, I would say it is all about the build up. If you look at the top ranked stories in that category, they are nearly all chapters in long slow-burn stories where the actual sex doesn't happen until chapters 2 or 3.

There are also some brilliant stories here that avoid sex almost entirely, I'd go gay for you being possibly my favourite, while Coming to grips is incredibly powerful.

It seems to be the etiquette, at least in Lesbian Sex, to put an author's note at the top of stories like that to warn readers that there is no nookie, so they can look elsewhere if that's not their bag. Probably helps avoid people sticking a disgruntled comment/vote on the end.

Thanks for this! I'm trying to get a read on things, so it is super helpful to know what folks are expecting in different categories. And it's good to know people are willing to wait for stuff until the second or third chapters. Obviously the tradeoff is then that we have to give them a reason to keep reading - other than straight up literal sex - but it's good to hear people are willing to read for that. I have the most fun when I'm mixing the sex parts of a story with the character parts of a story, I think.

 

[ElectricBlue]

So my question is this: what is your experience with writing stuff where you're just building sexual tension? As a reader, I love that when it's done well, but I've never actually thought about what it means to "do that well," versus having everything "on-screen." I really want to understand this distinction better as a writer.

Whenever people talk about slow burn, I think of this series:

A Girl on the Bus

It starts as a 750 word vignette, which I then extended in bite sized pieces until the payoff in Chapter Six, just to see how long readers would stick with me. It was an interesting experiment - usually, the last chapter in a series gets around 15 - 20% the Views of the first chapter. In this case, Chapter 6 got 50%, which means many more readers than usual came along for the ride.

 

[TheLobster]

The fap crowd are surprisingly philosophical.

Their wisdom, as long as you know how to coax it, can indeed come in surprisingly large spurts.

 

[KeithD]

I don't pay much attention to comparing how one entry here does against another entry on the basis of content. There is too great a variable on who has clicked on the entries at Literotica at any given time to make much out of that. I just write what my muse has offered up at any given time, enjoy it while I'm writing it, submit it, and go on to the next one.

 

[SimonDoom]

And it was hot to me, but I wasn't sure if it would translate well to others.

I haven't read it, but I wouldn't be surprised if this was the key right here. If it was hot to you writing it, then there's a good chance that it shines through in the writing, and your readers pick up on it, and it's hot for them too.

I love the buildup and tension. I love it as a reader, and I love it as a writer. I think it's more fun than the act itself. The seduction. The clothes coming off. The desperate yearning. The initial touching--hands and fingers touching things they've never touched before. I have an erotic story principle "First time is best," meaning the first time a character experiences something is the most erotic, and I like to exploit that in a story. I think it's fun for the reader because there's the sense of wondering what's behind the next door.

Based on my experience as an author at this site, and feedback I've received, many, many readers here share my view and enjoy the buildup and tension as well.

 

[SimonDoom]

As a reader, I agree that there does need to be a logical reason for the buildup. Idk, I'm kind of forgiving on what that looks like, to some extent. But I do think we need to be giving readers at least some reasonable basis for the sexual tension to build. I think we're all going to vary on what we think works in this respect.

I completely agree with this, and I fully agree that the "reason" for the buildup can be a lot of things. You don't need to do a lot; a little goes a long way. This is what dramatic conflict/erotic tension is all about. Two people are attracted to each other, but there's something between them, and overcoming that something and finally having sex both creates and resolves tension in an erotically satisfying way.

In an incest story, the barrier is obviously the taboo.

In an exhibitionist story, it's the public taboo--doing something sexy in public. If a woman doffs her clothes right away it's less sexy than if she does it slowly, bit by bit, with feelings of reluctance.

In a mature story, the age gap can be a barrier for some people. The middle-aged woman feels it would be wrong to have sex with the college-age pool boy, but gosh, she just can't help herself.

Shyness, religious convictions, family and friends, work relationships, power imbalance--all these things are plausible grounds for good buildup and tension.

 

[AchtungNight]

I’ve had to deal with tension a lot in my stories. The four female characters in The Rendezvous, Doug and Lisa in Ruleskirter, and Kratos & Freya in the God of War story are probably the best examples of future lovers that have a lot of angst and drama to get through before the actual sex. These stories have all done well in feedback.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

The fap crowd are surprisingly philosophical.

Not really, no, but I know that you're being facetious.

 

[StillStunned]

Not really, no, but I know that you're being facetious.

Of course I am.

And even so, my representation of the "fap crowd" is more nuanced than yours.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

If you count backhanded douchey slights, sure. (eyeroll)

 

[StillStunned]

If you count backhanded douchey slights, sure. (eyeroll)

I'm sure you'll have no difficulty in quoting those eyeroll-inducing backhanded douchey slights, so please, feel free to illuminate us.

 

[SimonDoom]

Not really, no, but I know that you're being facetious.

An interesting thing about the word "facetious": it's one of the very few words that contains the vowels a, e, i, o, and u in that order. There's only one other word that's relatively well known (that I know of) that does the same. Do you know what it is? Don't look it up!

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I'm sure you'll have no difficulty in quoting those eyeroll-inducing backhanded douchey slights, so please, feel free to illuminate us.

I'm not one with a personal axe to grind. Deal with it.

 

[VallesMarineris]

So my question is this: what is your experience with writing stuff where you're just building sexual tension? As a reader, I love that when it's done well, but I've never actually thought about what it means to "do that well," versus having everything "on-screen." I really want to understand this distinction better as a writer

I try to write with a different strategy:

Yes, I try to build sexual tension, and often a story will have a slow burn to the payoff. But I think it's important to continue to build tension even during the fap-worthy sex. I mean, how many times have we all skipped over a scene of sausage-hiding because we know what’s going to happen for the next three paragraphs? Basically you want to keep building the tension all the time, even when everything is "on-screen".

Keep in mind what Elmore Leonard said: try leave out all the parts that readers skip over.

There are also two levels of tension: there’s the in-scene tension (don’t do the usual sex things, keep the reader surprised and guessing); and there’s the higher level tension of the dramatic arc. Even if the scene ends with the MCs satisfied, you need to have a kicker to keep the reader engaged for the next scene, the next chapter, all the way to the end.

I tried to do this in each chapter of the 10-episode story I recently published here:

https://www.literotica.com/series/se/493866132

Of course you should read the whole story beginning to end. But if you check the last half page of each chapter, you'll see how my protagonist has a question or dilemma posed to her that (if I'm successful) keeps the reader going to the next chapter.

Hope this helps.

 

[Flybynite1892]

I try to write with a different strategy:

Yes, I try to build sexual tension, and often a story will have a slow burn to the payoff. But I think it's important to continue to build tension even during the fap-worthy sex. I mean, how many times have we all skipped over a scene of sausage-hiding because we know what’s going to happen for the next three paragraphs? Basically you want to keep building the tension all the time, even when everything is "on-screen".

Keep in mind what Elmore Leonard said: try leave out all the parts that readers skip over.

There are also two levels of tension: there’s the in-scene tension (don’t do the usual sex things, keep the reader surprised and guessing); and there’s the higher level tension of the dramatic arc. Even if the scene ends with the MCs satisfied, you need to have a kicker to keep the reader engaged for the next scene, the next chapter, all the way to the end.

I tried to do this in each chapter of the 10-episode story I recently published here:

https://www.literotica.com/series/se/493866132

Of course you should read the whole story beginning to end. But if you check the last half page of each chapter, you'll see how my protagonist has a question or dilemma posed to her that (if I'm successful) keeps the reader going to the next chapter.

Hope this helps.

This definitely helps, and is fantastic advice, so thank you. I think as I reader I recognized this subconsciously - and I always try hard to think about what I feel as a reader, and what I'd like to read - but I don't think I'd heard anyone put it this succinctly before.

I think finding ways to keep that tension escalating, even when everything is "on screen," and even when we're fully into a straight-up sex scene, is where the trick of it is. It's the old saying that everything is about sex except for sex, because sex is about power...I think maybe switching between those two things - and making the reader feel the switch - might be the hard part.

 

[AchtungNight]

Sometimes I want to get a story published and leave things to readers’ imagination or possibly future follow-up stories more than I want to spend time detailing sex and other scenes excessively. I’m not the only writer with this opinion, right?

 

[TheLobster]

Sometimes I want to get a story published and leave things to readers’ imagination or possibly future follow-up stories more than I want to spend time detailing sex and other scenes excessively. I’m not the only writer with this opinion, right?

Definitely not. The erotic part of erotica is ironically sometimes the most tedious to me.

 

[Bramblethorn]

An interesting thing about the word "facetious": it's one of the very few words that contains the vowels a, e, i, o, and u in that order. There's only one other word that's relatively well known (that I know of) that does the same. Do you know what it is? Don't look it up!

Abstemious? Or abstentious, which seems to mean exactly the same thing.