Well fuck, people keep breaking shit and interrupting todays rambling
so for today's rambling, apparently there is some interest in more details from yesterdays conversation. 1st, like why be with a guy you think is an asshole, how do you get from not standing the guy to screwing the guy, then just more details on the first time I was fucked up the ass.
So this guy, yeah, a huge asshole. I will call him Rick. When I met him, he was in the middle of a divorce and in the air force. There was a big party for a close male friend of mine, that included his family and friends, thus I was there. Rick is his cousin, thus meeting him there. Lots of us were talking and mingling, we spent a while talking with each other in groups and alone and were hitting it off, flirting a little and such. Then mingling with others around the house etc. Anyway, he had ducked into a empty den, and when I walked by, pulled me in, and started kissing me. I was game, but told him flat out that I wasn't screwing him, as I like to be direct so there are no misunderstandings. and he is all like who said that is even what I intended, etc etc. So cool. So, I am straddling him, topless, kissing him, then he got really aggressive, uncalled for so, (specifically pulled my hair back, threw me down on the couch, and had me pinned down) So I hit him. ok specifically I kneed him, decked him, pushed him off me. Then got up, said something like what the fuck, you don't even know me, why would you think that was appropriate, not cool, what the hell is wrong with you. So he is all like.. me, what the hell is wrong with you, you crazy ass bitch. I storm back to the group, he follows. Through out the night, he just keeps saying things that will piss me off, purposely, I fire back etc etc. So yeah, half the night is spent bickering, with others around having no idea how we keep finding things to fight about, and eventually escalates to an all out screaming match. That was the first night I met him, and could not believe how much of an arrogant asshole he was. A few days later, well I worked at a restaurant, and I guess he got this information from my friend. So he brings in this really hot barbie doll type chick while I am on shift, makes some asshole comments while I serve them, just to get under my skin (he admitted this a month or so later, she was actually another relative, but he knew her type would get under my skin, hence arranging it) That was the second time. 3rd and 4th times are pretty quickly after this. The next 2 times our circle got together at the initial friend's house, guess who shows up later, Rick (I assume friend tipped him off). We all continue to hang out, I try to ignore him. He does the whole frequent negging thing (which I didn't know existed until years later). ya know shit like "I think it is so awesome that you don't give a damn what you look like and dress for comfort" or "wow, you actually are kind of smart, surprisingly" or "I could almost be interested in a chick like you if you didn't act like such a child all the time, come to think of it, you do look like my friend's baby sister" (I was younger than him). Really, it was all from the douche bag pick up artist play book, it just hadn't been written yet. Anyway, he would just continue until I got pissed and cursed him out, rinse, repeat. Then he got my number from my friend, called me, and basically stated we were going to keep running into each other, so we should probably try to bury the hatchet, lets get together to talk. I agree, we actually have a fun time. So when he asks me out again, I accept. Now he was still an asshole, ya know shit like, stop at a store, buy vodka, condoms, and rope, cashier smirks, he would say something like, "oh it isn't what you think, actually though, good idea, it will be now" and smack me on the ass. You know, fucking arrogant and presumptuous as all fuck. So yeah, that is how someone I could not have hated more on the first night, ends up being the man watching me from a chair, as I lay in bed naked, with maybe a little rope burn, saying some shit like "damn, you are fucking beautiful, you would be a perfect 10 if you didn't have such a fat ass". Then I throw something at him. He really liked to piss me off, got off on me being all feisty and shit.
Anyway first time getting fucked up the ass. Several firsts were with him. First the aforementioned rope. Also along the way, the first time I ever drove a high end car, the first time I drove a stick car that wasn't a complete piece of crap, the first time I drove completely fucking "close one eye to see the road" drunk, the first time I broke 140mph, the first time I spun out a high end stick car (at his encouragement to keep flooring it lol), the first time I was on the back of a motorcycle with a man who drove like a complete fucking lunatic, first time doing blow out in the open on a bar, first time closing a bar with a group of military guys, first time I had sex in an elevator, first time staying in a really nice hotel etc etc.
So to that night. We kind of had a routine at this time. We would go out for dinner and drinks, hang, then go stay in a hotel for the night. Reason for hotel stated as, he didn't want neighbors to mention to ex until divorce and visitation was set. Obviously, don't know if this was actually true, or if there were other reasons, but later we did stay at his house rather than hotel rooms. Anyway, this was actually the same night as the elevator. We did the standard dinner, drinks, a club, another club, to a hotel. Our room was on a high floor at a hotel we had never been to. Mirrored elevator, so yes, we decided to start screwing in the elevator, because come on, mirrored elevator, must be done. it was brief, just the ride up, then we went to our room and continued. He is screwing me from behind and says he wants to do something different tonight, tells me exactly what that different will be, and I say ok. Did not hurt, was quite fun, but in all honesty, I was a little less than sober, and flying real high on endorphins from the elevator stunt and some other random crazy shit from earlier in the night, so was already feeling quite a rush.. He got off on crazy shit too. After that round, we smoke, have a few more drinks and whatever, screw again, rinse repeat, pretty much our standard night, there was usually something different thrown in
Honestly, I did actually like the fact he purposely drove me to screaming obscenities, throwing crap, smacking him, the arrogance he displayed, the aggressiveness he displayed. truth is, by that point in my life, I had learned that I could actually control a good amount of men. I got off on that too. I had liked men who were above me, more powerful than me, out of my class, out of my league, and watching as I slowly had myself on a pedestal and them on their knees... for me. Coming from a background of generally feeling powerless, learning I could actually flip the tables was awesome. My bitch force had become strong. But on the other hand, it was interesting and intriguing to be with a man who rather than bow down before me if I asked, would be "no fuck you, turn around bitch, I have a use for you". As much as I enjoy control, I do also like being out of control. As much as I like the thrill of the hunt, I also like being chased. He was still a huge asshole though, but I wouldn't change those nights during those months.
Another great story of your life. Some of the risks we take can add such a wonderful rush to our normal lives. Sometimes getting caught can be fun too as long as things don't go bad.
What would you have done it the elevator stopped and the doors opened to someone seeing you on the act?