Newbie seeking help with writing

[Morevinila]

Hello everybody.
I'm new to the site as member although I have been reading a lot of stories on the site in the past.
I am not a writer but I have some scenarios in mind and lately I have been trying to jot down what happens in one of my stories.
The initial plot I had in mind got out of control and I ended up writing something I didn't intend at the beginning. I have tried twice and I have come up with 2 different stories very similar at the beginning but getting in a different direction at one point in time (even though there may be some similarities).
My problem is this: I get the impression that my main feminine character is acting completely out of character once things get in full swing and that I am not being very coherent.
Should I post the stories (both versions) and then wait for comments or should I send them to one of you ready to help?
I can share with you the initial plot I had in mind and see if we can bring it back there. Also, if we rewrite the story to make it fit with the initial scenario, could we find some way to use what would be scrapped?
Thank you for your help.

 

[AchtungNight]

I can help, I have been in such a situation. Start a private Conversation with me if you want to avoid spoilers. I can provide my email there. My advice for first timers is always seek a prior critique. Thx.

 

[Morevinila]

I can help, I have been in such a situation. Start a private Conversation with me if you want to avoid spoilers. I can provide my email there. My advice for first timers is always seek a prior critique. Thx.

Thank you. Do you mean I should send the scenarios/original plot/written stories to your personal mail and avoid posting them here?

 

[AchtungNight]

Thank you. Do you mean I should send the scenarios/original plot/written stories to your personal mail and avoid posting them here?

Yes. And I’m not giving my email out publicly here to avoid spam.

If you want to discuss your ideas further before sharing them one on one, try Story Ideas or Author’s Hangout. They get more traffic than here. I can also give some input here but I’m not sure how much you need. Thx.

 

[Morevinila]

Thank you again. I think I will try the two forums you suggested. Would you mind if I get back to you afterwards? As I said, I'm new to writing and still trying to find my way.
In case I do get back to you (and you agree) how do we arrange for email addresses?

 

[AchtungNight]

Start a private Conversation with me for my email, as I said. And yes, I’m fine with you getting back to me later if needed. Good luck.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Hello everybody.
I'm new to the site as member although I have been reading a lot of stories on the site in the past.
I am not a writer but I have some scenarios in mind and lately I have been trying to jot down what happens in one of my stories.
The initial plot I had in mind got out of control and I ended up writing something I didn't intend at the beginning. I have tried twice and I have come up with 2 different stories very similar at the beginning but getting in a different direction at one point in time (even though there may be some similarities).
My problem is this: I get the impression that my main feminine character is acting completely out of character once things get in full swing and that I am not being very coherent.
Should I post the stories (both versions) and then wait for comments or should I send them to one of you ready to help?
I can share with you the initial plot I had in mind and see if we can bring it back there. Also, if we rewrite the story to make it fit with the initial scenario, could we find some way to use what would be scrapped?
Thank you for your help.

Welcome to the world of writing smut! I have dozens of unfinished stories that never quite gelled. I treat them as boxes of spare parts to draw from. Sometimes a paragraph or a line from the junk heap makes its way into a publishable story, but it might take years.

Why do you think the woman in your story is acting out of character?

 

[Morevinila]

Welcome to the world of writing smut! I have dozens of unfinished stories that never quite gelled. I treat them as boxes of spare parts to draw from. Sometimes a paragraph or a line from the junk heap makes its way into a publishable story, but it might take years.

Why do you think the woman in your story is acting out of character?

Thank you for answering - The idea at the start was to have a woman very reserved in character decide, to please and surprise her husband on their wedding anniversary celebration, by going pantiless and flashing him during dinner. The beginning goes well (I think) with the battle between reserved natural self and eagerness to do something bold. It gets out of hand/character afterwards when she gets fucked in this public place, (in both versions I have tried} and I think this does not fit with the initial personality of the woman.
I have not given all the details of the initial plot I had in mind here but you can get an idea.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Thank you for answering - The idea at the start was to have a woman very reserved in character decide, to please and surprise her husband on their wedding anniversary celebration, by going pantiless and flashing him during dinner. The beginning goes well (I think) with the battle between reserved natural self and eagerness to do something bold. It gets out of hand/character afterwards when she gets fucked in this public place, (in both versions I have tried} and I think this does not fit with the initial personality of the woman.
I have not given all the details of the initial plot I had in mind here but you can get an idea.

You're correct to worry. Some naughty flashing is believable, but graduating straight to public sex isn't.

 

[Morevinila]

Thank you. So what do I do from there? I do believe (even if I say so myself and I'm probably not the best qualified) the development in the two versions is entertaining from the erotic point of view (which I believe is one of the main objectives of this site). How can I use them? Or should I just discard them and let it go as Profit and Loss?

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Thank you. So what do I do from there? I do believe (even if I say so myself and I'm probably not the best qualified) the development in the two versions is entertaining from the erotic point of view (which I believe is one of the main objectives of this site). How can I use them? Or should I just discard them and let it go as Profit and Loss?

If you want her leap into public sex to be believable, you have to lay the groundwork. Drop little hints about her secret fantasies, mention things she might have done when she was younger and wilder before she got married. Play up how the wine with dinner is going to her head. Invent some reason she THINKS they're alone when they're not.

Basically it CAN work if her entire arc is about how she arrives at the point where doing something utterly out of character seems natural and inevitable. But it requires a lot of meticulous character work for a piece of smut.

 

[Morevinila]

Thank you again. Would you mind having a look at the story as it now is (one of the versions) and see if it seems plausible or whether I need to add other details? I have put in there some of the things you mention but maybe not enough, not sufficiently dev eloped...

 

[AchtungNight]

My suggestion- make them think they’re unattended in a private room at the restaurant. The waiter is taking forever to come by, they’re bored and drinking, hot and bothered. They get into each other and get into it. Then the waiter finally shows up, maybe with a big crowd. Oops!

 

[Morevinila]

Well in fact that is how it roughly goes - a shy wife plans to flash her husband for their wedding anniversary. She gets caught by the waiter a first time but when he assures them he will ensure their privacy, they go beyond what was originally planned by her. The finale is a great surprise to them! This is the first version that got out of hand - the second is not too different.

 

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