New Poem Recommendations

[Ashesh9]

Today "Morning " by Demure , " Starving Artist" by Green Mountsineer & " don't play with Guns" by Susansnow are all excellent , worthy of being read , appreciated'n recommended

 

[Cleardaynow]

May I draw your attention to ‘Have you?’ by heartgirl14 today. This is her first poem submitted and I get the impression that this is newish or special to her - not just the first of her life’s collection that she is about to unload on the site (looks furtively away himself).

It is in a prosy style that some mark down but I think the physical and logical structure she uses is excellent and refreshing. It lifts the sentiments and pictures from what could easily be cheesy into something beautiful and thought provoking. Indeed she often creates phrases and images that are striking in an area heavily mined with cliché. She achieves a voice or persona that is very strong in the poem.

For a first effort?

 

[twelveoone]

please people, learn to put links in.
Sorry for the intrusion. er, and kudos for taking up the slack.

 

[Cleardaynow]

please people, learn to put links in.
Sorry for the intrusion. er, and kudos for taking up the slack.

Sorry. I will try to do so next time.

Am a new boy here... do I really have to give you my lunch money?

 

[twelveoone]

Finding Love in the Arthur Kill by greenmountaineer

ugly, ugly, ugly

A strong second on this. And an apology for not seeing it sooner.
What would I have changed? Nothing. This is how it was. And it wasn't pretty. Unlike the beauty of the Oranges.
Really now, GM is such a strong poet to have the balls to tackle a dump. Dare I say, I'm sick with envy, or is it, I just remember the smell of the sun coming up in Jersey.
Hey, Kevin Spacy rocks. Hey, GM rocks.

 

[twelveoone]

Sorry. I will try to do so next time.

Am a new boy here... do I really have to give you my lunch money?

No, just don't ask for mine, and we're cloggin up NP, but I like what you're sayin.

 

[Angeline]

5/2/14

Two not to miss today:

Singing the Valedictorian Blues by greenmountaineer

The Problem with Nuts by normal jean

 

[HarryHill]

Two not to miss today:

Singing the Valedictorian Blues by greenmountaineer

The Problem with Nuts by normal jean

Agree

 

[twelveoone]

my apologies if someone recommended - then a very strong second
this is one of the poems that bother me, the big WTF
first I was impressed by the word choice
then by the enclosed triplet, again something I've not seen
now
bydemure101
in
Graves
seems to be doing several other things that add to the disturbing effect of the material. Here is an example of the words:

defiance to the modern part, where all
anonymously tidy graves are placed
like last war's traitors lined up at the wall –

good words, but there is something else going on, these graves are unquiet,
and I can't quite figure out why.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Don't miss butters' on the eating of soft fruit. It'll satisfy your appetite.

 

[twelveoone]

Don't miss butters' on the eating of soft fruit. It'll satisfy your appetite.

seconded
butters has two offsets on this, one partially missed
as lashes brush the fabric of reality
lashes has two meanings (and it trips the reader into paying attention)
as does
with that raspberry held to her mouth
raspberry does too, here probably one (missed it Ms.b) however strawberry would be the most expected word and avoided.

Now Magnetron's
The Physics Of Snow Angels
the entire poem (as is a lot of what I've seen lately of his work) is offset, there is a disjointedness to this, the effect works. At first it looks like two poems operating a "white" metaphor, then it looks three parts turning the metaphor dark.
In short the whole exceeds the sum of the parts. As far as the parts, there could be a little more subtraction (edit) going on.

 

[Magnetron]

After reading and commenting on all the poems in the New Erotic Poetry list ( with the exception of bastards and bastardettes who delete comments ), I recommmend for being the most poetic

Spinning Desires by Matryoshka

while most erotic and sensual would be

on the eating of soft fruits by butters

 

[twelveoone]

Hi there...
to honest I did not read most, I'm tempted to leave comments when I do so, some get upset, I get upset, a lose-lose scenario

However.
A Night in the Life of St. Lizzie
stands out
bygreenmountaineer
(but then he usually does)
one of the biggest damnations is when I get to the end before the writer does
here I can't get to the next line without being surprised.
excerpt:
As Lizzie baby-wipes both of his hands
she whispers the Lord's Prayer, good as grace,
after which Luke selects Diet Pepsi
and Frito Lays from a vending machine

I know people think poetry should be chock fulla "poetisms" , but poets don't.
btw certified: POETISM-FREE certified: SURPRISE certifiedOETRY
even the ending caught me off guard.


No 7hunder Road
ok, I'm not crazy about the title
by byHarryHill
re: my comment, harry may have missed two opportunities, but they have no impact on the write as is.
something about the moon shinnin still
guess ya gotta be from 'round these parts to see

Magnetron (see other thread)

Mucked Up

one of the reasons I recommend against too many submissions is it becomes overkill, you are competing against yourself for attention, you lose the advantage of contrast in context.

all of Magnetron work is different and best served in small doses, this dose, I read, I liked
First two lines:
I am being eaten alive by mosquitoes
Standing in the swamp of your reasoning

I'm sure there are others...

 

[butters]

slip quietly on down the river under a fullmoon in Harry's No 7hunder Road, moon-shinin' - beware of bears in tha air, tho


edit: thanks to 12 for recommending GM's A night in the Life of St. Lizzie. stonking read. this guy's so good, i can't wait to read his collection all on one place.

 

[twelveoone]

I tried, sort of...
anyway, an enigmatic little piece

Inheritance
byOpenField

Now, how am I supposed to read the third line? Anyway, NICE.
Anyway Eliot had an essay on Verse Libre, this poem made me think of it.
greenmountaineer, pelegrino, and Epmd607 liked it, who am I to argue.
See if you can make sense of the last two lines.

 

[HarryHill]

one rider less by butters She's asking for more feed back, dear poets, if you would be so kind to add your thoughts. thanks

 

[greenmountaineer]

oneiria's "In the Singularity" is exceptional and worthy of its "e" designation.

And yes, 1201, I agree with you. I wish that he and susannow, both of whom are skilled poets, would comment more on others' work because I believe the power of internet social media is in helping others who are motivated to learn.

 

[twelveoone]

well now that we got that out of the way...
Frankie Says Sonny's Working Late
sorry about the pun, too good to miss, since "uncanny valley" was used to descibe me
any way another visit to NYC
but here is a punm excerpt:
loving my finger where it ain't Sonny
for all the Corteses in Brooklyn!
by by greenmountaineer

This I really like, seconded
[URL="http://www.literotica.com/p/one-rider-less"]one rider less [/URL]
by butters
not really a parody but a rhythmic emulation of rider's on the storm and Morrison's word styling
still question "barn" but what the hell.

also
http://www.literotica.com/p/i-am-72"]I Am[/URL]
byMagnetron
what would Jesus do?
well magnetron theorizes...
I stand by my crit, but this has merit

and from time to time a porn nursery rhyme that largely subverts the cliche

Cherry Pop
byHoneyAdored
I make no apologies.

Now before you get your literary tits in an uproar. Why not this, why not that? Either I did not read them, or I did not care, this is not an assignation, and I remind the readers that when in was assigned, I was ignored more than once.
I also find it ironic that a poem was written about Ray Kurzweil, here is a link.
There are various forms of machine poetry, various types of bots, and a certain number of submissions are heavily templated. Whether mental (I use and any good writer will) or machine aided.
I cast no dispersions here, but I disagree with GM's assessment. All of that should be fine.

 

[HarryHill]

well now that we got that out of the way...
Frankie Says Sonny's Working Late
sorry about the pun, too good to miss, since "uncanny valley" was used to descibe me
any way another visit to NYC
but here is a punm excerpt:
loving my finger where it ain't Sonny
for all the Corteses in Brooklyn!
by by greenmountaineer

This I really like, seconded
[URL="http://www.literotica.com/p/one-rider-less"]one rider less [/URL]
by butters
not really a parody but a rhythmic emulation of rider's on the storm and Morrison's word styling
still question "barn" but what the hell.

also
I AM
byMagnetron >> link repair call 800-fix-shit
what would Jesus do?
well magnetron theorizes...
I stand by my crit, but this has merit

and from time to time a porn nursery rhyme that largely subverts the cliche

Cherry Pop
byHoneyAdored
I make no apologies.

Now before you get your literary tits in an uproar. Why not this, why not that? Either I did not read them, or I did not care, this is not an assignation, and I remind the readers that when in was assigned, I was ignored more than once.
I also find it ironic that a poem was written about Ray Kurzweil, here is a link.
There are various forms of machine poetry, various types of bots, and a certain number of submissions are heavily templated. Whether mental (I use and any good writer will) or machine aided.
I cast no dispersions here, but I disagree with GM's assessment. All of that should be fine.

.....

 

[Magnetron]

Rain in the Suburbs by Demure

http://www.literotica.com/p/rain-in-the-suburbs

I was so there on those streets as this poem flowed effortlessly like water.

So there that if a clown started laughing from a sewer drain, I would have shit myself.

 

[Angeline]

oneiria's "In the Singularity" is exceptional and worthy of its "e" designation.

And yes, 1201, I agree with you. I wish that he and susannow, both of whom are skilled poets, would comment more on others' work because I believe the power of internet social media is in helping others who are motivated to learn.

I also love this poem from oneiria. He conveys so much with so few words and creates mind-boggling images. Just great writing.

 

[Estacy]

A Funny First Fuck by SteamyChik

Hi, I am new here so forgive me if I haven't quite learned the ropes.
This is my first posting in the first thread I checked out, and I wanted to recommend the poem "A Funny First Fuck" by SteamyChik - and yes, it was the FIRST poem I read on the site.

http://www.literotica.com/p/a-funny-first-fuck

 

[Estacy]

A Girl in a Skirt

There must be something about me and first times as it looks as if I am the first to comment on this rather interesting submission by Amicus:

http://www.literotica.com/p/a-girl-in-a-skirt

What it illustrates takes me back to a conversation I had a while back with a group of older guys (children of the 60's) who were commenting on their preference for woman wearing dresses and skirts. Can't say it was a very intellectual debate but the poem is rather clever.

 

[todski28]

Barn Star

magnetron has two both worth a look, both totally different, this one thought is five star hilarity

 

[todski28]

If horses could speak

Well gm has done something worth reading again,

"Two wasp-waist maidens" if that isn't poetic imagery and crazy sounds then I don't know what is the whole poem is clever, funny and also has a large twack of reality.