My Bad (Closed for CasualK9 & Brightwell)

[BRIGHTWELL]

The lawn is green and soft. Brandon Hicks is face down. He raises slightly, looks up over the top of the blades of grass. Then leans his head to the side and looks at the beginning sunrise. He blinks his eyes as he focuses on the area. The streetlights are still on, and cars are still parked in their driveways. 'This is different, I think.' Not sure if the situation is real or not. He continues to lay on the grass unsure of what he should be doing or not doing.

 

[CasualK9]

In her spacious and well-appointed home at the end of a cul de sac, Nicolle Burton looked out her bay windows at an intrusive figure laying in the middle of her yard. She had taken her dogs out in the early morning, scrolling through her phone wearing only a short robe, and had been shocked when she noticed an older man sleeping right there on the grass.

She had hustled inside, heavy boobs bouncing under her loose robe as she climbed her front steps, and she was on the phone with her girlfriend, having called her the second the got inside.

“Brandi, there’s a weird older guy, like, sleeping in the middle of my front lawn. What the fuck?”

Nicci called her friend in a morning panic. Her husband was halfway around the world ona business trip to Singapore, and she was alone at home with her two kids sound asleep.

”No, I’ve never seen him before and there’s no car. Should I call the cops?”

 

[CasualK9]

“Well, does he look dangerous?” Brandi replied.

”How the fuck should I know?” Nicci looked carefully at the figure. He definitely did not look dangerous. He looked like a floundering, out-of-shape older man something like two decades her senior whose ass the ultra fit mom could kick six ways to Sunday if needed, but you couldn’t tell much from outward appearances these days.

”Don’t call the cops, Nic. That could be someone’s dad.”

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

Brandon sees a woman and her dog. Her robe is short, and she ran up the stairs into the house. He contemplates the grass again. So, is this normal? Then again how could this seem normal. And then it dawns on him. She had a cell phone. That may be a problem. He for the third time considers the green grass. It comforts him in a way he finds confusing. He slowly raises up to a sitting position looking at the house. He sees her looking at him through a window talking on the cell phone. He scratches at his gray beard with one hand and waves at her with the other.

 

[CasualK9]

“Oh shit, he sees me! He just waved at me!”

Nicci waved back out of reflex, thinking the guy looked kind of like a homeless Santa Claus, or a middle aged bearded guy who had been through the ringer. Either way, he looked relatively harmless…for a completely random dude sitting in her front lawn anyway.

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

Brandon slumps a little in place. He frowns slightly. Till she waves back at him. Then sadly smiles at her. The top of her robe is open, and a health amount of her boobs are on display. This he finds interesting. He stops waving. Runs a hand through his hair and looks at her. He then realizes he needs to go pee. He thinks about the situation and decides it would be better to be inside, to do that, than on this lovely green grass.

He places his hand on his chest, while still looking at her. Then flips his hand toward her. Then reaches down to his crotch and grabs himself. Pretends to shake himself off. Then raises both hands as if to say well.

 

[CasualK9]

“Ewww, Brandi, he just grabbed his crotch! Yuck!“ She shivered. “I think he has to pee. I can’t have him peeing on my front lawn! Oh my God.”

The petite, pretty and physically gifted suburban wife, mother, and massively, successful software sales executive had everything going for her. Everything, that is except a series of questionable decisions that had begun when a neighborhood teenage nobody had told her about the bounty that existed on her for being declared Central‘s number one MILF several year’s running.

It had snowballed from there, and a bawdy “big cock” competition by her pool with her best girlfriends in the Fun Flock had led to another neighborhood teenager trying to blackmail her. She had made perhaps the dumbest decision of all, when she agreed to get him out of her long blonde hair by creating a contract with him to do whatever he wanted for two hours each month for one year. She was a little over halfway through that contract, and the last thing she wanted was any more trouble. She wanted more than anything to get her perfect little life back in order for her perfect little self.

The last thing she needed was more random weirdness showing up out of nowhere like this oddball on her lawn.

 

[CasualK9]

“Well, don’t let him your house! Let him use the one outside,” Brandi said.

”Good thinking!”

Nic went to the front door and leaned out, unintentionally exposing herself further.

”I have a bathroom out back you can use,” she said to the old coot before slamming the door. “Next to the pool. You can use the changing room. Can’t miss it.”

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

Brandon shakes his head. 'Did she say out back.' he stands and looks at the well-appointed house. He looks at the other houses in the area. "They have an outhouse?" Then he stops and looks at the closed door. Her robe had been open when she had called out to him. "This is a very strange trip I am on."
He walks around the side of the house up the driveway toward the garage. As he turns the corner, he sees the pool. And it becomes clearer. The pool house has a bathroom in it. There is a three-foot-high metal fence with a gate. Scattered around the yard are children's toys. And off under the trees is a swing set.

He opens the gate and steps on to the pool deck. Somewhat hidden is the brick Bar-B-Que around the deck are four lounge chairs. And leaning against the back of the pool house are several folding chairs. He maneuvers around the loungers and finally reaches the pool house itself.

He opens the door and sees a round wooden tabletop with crossed legs stacked neatly against the wall. There are several changing stalls with built in seats and dark heavy curtains on a pull racks. To the left is the fore mentioned shower room with a commode. As he makes his way to the bathroom his eyes take in the stacks of green sealable containers each has a year written on them. 2023,2022,2021,2020. The door to the john is open so he walks in.

He pulls down his zipper and pulls out man tool and takes care of business.

 

[CasualK9]

Nicci cinched her pink, summer robe from Victoria’s Secret against her curves as best she could and tied a tight bow in the front so the flimsy thing wouldn’t fly open as easily. Barefoot and tanned, with neon orange toenail polish on her pretty feet, she padded inside her house from window to window, keeping a close watch on the older stranger as he wandered back to use her outdoor bathroom.

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

With this business done. He tucks his penis back into his pants. He looks for a sink but sees only the shower. He draws open the shower curtain and sees several swimsuits on a rope line to the rear of the shower. Two are way to small obviously children's suits. But then he finds a pair of black speedos. They are a size and a half too small for him. He looks back at the pool house door. 'I wonder if they will mind?' Forgetting about washing his hands he pulls the speedos off the rope. He carries the black swim wear into the changing room. He shrugs as he says to himself. 'She said use the changing room.'

In a few quick minutes he is out of his clothes and has the speedo on. It barely fits and it looks like he has a soft ball in the suit. A towel is hanging on a rack in the changing room. He pulls it off the rack and throws it over his shoulder. Then walks out on to the deck. As soon as he comes out the pool house door he sees her watching him from inside the house. He is slightly disappointed when he notes her robe is now closed to some degree.
Still, he waves at her as he places the towel on one of the loungers.

 

[CasualK9]

‘Oh, my God, ‘ she said, to herself, as she looked out the window, and saw the old, bearded guy finally wander out from her pool house to set himself up in a lounge chair. ‘What the hell does he think he’s doing?’

Perplexed and frustrated, she grabbed her largest kitchen knife, and with her English Bulldog by her side, strode purposefully down the back stairs of her deck, through the pool gates and down to confront the intrusive stranger.

Her confusion as to his actions made her completely forget she was wearing no bra or underwear under the extremely short, skimpy robe.

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

"OH hi, you must be the chef and dog walker. Listen when you cut my steak make it real thick. I saw the bar-b-que pit. It's a bit on the small size, but I'm sure you will make it tasty." He notices her thin robe and smiles. "I'm really enjoying myself here. And I know I'm a little early getting into the pool. But the man at the front desk said the pool opens when the sun comes up. May be when you finish my steak we can climb in the pool and tell each other nasty wicked lies. " He pause and looks at her. "Like my husband is out of town and we have to be quiet so not to wake he children."

 

[CasualK9]

“Umm, what? No, I’m not…,” Nic was so taken aback by his shockingly offbeat comments, that she was almost distracted from her disgust at his doughy white body. And he was wearing her son’s Speedo! Why? It was obscene the way his junk was stuffed in that tiny triangle. Yuck!

She shook her head in an effort to clear it, but her bright green eyes reflected how distasteful she found the sight. His eyes, however, danced at the sight of her. Her shapely legs and lush, creamy thighs were exposed nearly to her pussy. He felt like he could almost see it, but not quite. And her breasts looked voluptuous, just barely covered by that flimsy robe, her hard, thick nipples clearly defined.

”Who..the fuck…are you?” She said, holding the big knife in her hands.

 

[CasualK9]

“That bathing suit belongs to my son! Like, just get out of here already!”

 

[CasualK9]

“And my son is NINE! It doesn’t even fucking fit you!”

Her long, blonde hair was piled in a tower of loopy balls on top of her head, forming a giant, morning messy bun, and it flopped around as she ranted at him.

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

"Hey lady what is your problem. They fit me. Now I paid good money for my room. The man at the front desk said I could use the pool. I am willing to put you on my expense account. But you must change your attitude or I will be telling the manager. Tell you what. Take off the robe and get me off in the pool and I'll get you nice raise. Then you can get your son some baggies."

He pauses as if a switch went off. "My name? How the fuck would I know. I just woke up on your front lawn and you sent me to the back yard out house!" He looks down at the speedos. "Your son? He must pack a lot of sausage."

 

[CasualK9]

Nicci was so angry, but she had no idea what was going on with this guy either. He was so weird and unpredictable, and she felt super disoriented to be dealing with this in the wee hours of the morning. was he acting? Had one of her friends sent him as a weird joke?

When he looked down at her son’s borrowed swimsuit, her eyes followed too, and the sizable, bulky lumps under the Lycra made no sense to her at first. Wait, was it possible his dick was wrapped around his own balls from one side to the other like a hook? What WAS going on down there?

She tore her eyes away and pointed wordlessly at the pool gate, stomping her foot.

”Go! Before I call the cops. You can keep the Speedo,” she sneered.

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

A shocked look came over his face. "Keep the Speedo? Why would you say such a thing?" He stands and rushes to the pool house.

"Here! you are a wicked and sinful woman." The swimsuit flies out the door on to the pool deck.

He stands naked before her. "I hope you are happy now. I am as I was born. Nothing much to show, nothing much to hide." He looks at the dog. "Oh, you have a bulldog! I saw him when I was on the lawn. You brought him in the house with you. You could of said good morning." He looks up at her face. "Why are you staring at my genitalia, are you in love?"

 

[CasualK9]

”I…,” she cupped her hand to her mouth.

His flaccid penis was hanging 2/3 of the way to his kness, and Nicci was nearly as shocked by the realization that it really had been coiled like a snake around his scrotum it as she was by his constantly shifting moods and behaviors.

Her dog barked loudly at her feet.

”Listen, sir. I’m not sure who you are or how you ended up on my front lawn at 6am, but you need to put YOUR clothes back on and explain yourself. Do you need me to call someone for you?”

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

"Oh my goodness does my nakedness offend you. I mean you are barely wearing anything at all. That teddy bear robe was all the rage a few years ago. Now it just makes you look like a suburban housewife."
He openly looks her up and down and stops at her hair.

"Who does your hair an Egyptian Pharoh? I mean I have not seen anything stacked like that since my walk through a government warehouse." He shakes his head and crouches down in front of the dog. He smiles at the dog. "Ah what a good little doggie. Are you upset that mommy gave you intestinal worms from your dog food?" Then he looks up at the woman. "My god do you color that thing? " He turns and walk back to the pool house. "Your pubic hair. I have seen better taste at the Metropolitain Museum of Modern Art."

 

[CasualK9]

He was quite possibly the weirdest, most incomprehensible man she had ever met. For a moment, she found his words so far out in left field that it took her some time to process them.

Then she realized he had looked up her robe and must have seen her pussy. She looked down. Her robe covered it, but not by much, and all it had taken was for him to squat to see. Not only that, she shaved it entirely other than a cute little landing strip, and yes, it wasn’t highlighted like the hair on her head.

That also meant, he’d seen ALL of it if he’d seen the little triangle of neatly trimmed hair she left above it. Her shoulders shivered at the grossness of the idea and her tits shook magnificently as a result.

She was so mortified. What an obnoxious, invasive prick!

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

He changes back into his clothes and walks out of the pool house. He stops as he comes out the door. " Doris is that you?" He smiles brightly and looks at the large kitchen knife. "Were you shaving your legs again? I told you time and again. When you sharpen you have to do both sides of the blade. I bet you messed up all your knives. I'll just have to show you again." He walks past her and through the gate and up the back stair way to the back of the house. Then opens the door.

"Did Ed get over that nasty STD he got in Nairobi from Sonia his travel guide. I mean he told quite a tale the other night. "

 

[CasualK9]

This weird guy was making absolutely no sense at all. A moment ago, Nicci had been wondering whether he was sent as some kind of twisted, practical joke by her friends for her recent birthday. Something like this would’ve been right up their alleys.

But seeing him walk up to her home, where her kids were sleeping, snapped her out of the confused paralysis his nonsense had generated in her mind.

The athletic, shapely woman broke into a dead, run. Her big boobs bounced wildly and her robe flew up around her waist exposing her round bottom as her powerful strides carried her rapidly toward the Stranger. Before he had a chance to see her, and right before he stepped through the back door of her house, she leapt up onto his back, wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his throat and pulled him onto the ground in one deft movement.

“Listen, asshole, I don’t know what your deal is, but you’re not setting foot in my home until you explain yourself.”

She held him in a chokehold that he was utterly unable to escape and locked her arms tightly around his neck waiting for his response.

“You’ve got 10 seconds,” she hissed into his ear. “If I don’t get your answer in 10 seconds, I’m gonna hold you by the neck until you pass out and when you wake up the cops are gonna be right here for your sorry ass!”

 

[BRIGHTWELL]

Chester White tries to gather himself. "I was making a delivery and got lost. The address I was looking for 4481 Maxwell St. I turned on McCarter drive and drove into a ditch with two wheels. At the corner of Williams and Turner is a tavern called the 'The Wet Hen' I stopped to use the phone. The battery in my cell is dead. My office said to make the delivery on foot. I walked down Cumberland Ave. to Jefferson and got lost. I"M looking for 4481 Maxwell St."

He tries to lay his head on the Pool deck.

"It looks like the 5:15 to Springfield is going to be late."