Make me dirty

Thanks to sloppy pronunciation, my true love brought me seven swains a-swimming on the seventh day of Christmas; I fucked two immediately and put golden rings on the rest to keep them stiff while I recovered.
 
She continued stroking, surprised to see how much Buck shot, (Cheating? I don't care.) - crap I was too late. But it is the same idea as Tio's.
 
As a general rule: the more distant the lover, the more passionate the reunion. We didn’t even make it out of baggage claim.

(Remember, the challenge is to write something that sounds dirty entirely by implication or innuendo. Using words like “fuck” or cum” is a cop-out.)
 
He was so cheap that when he went to the bar for a pick-up, he looked for a girl who was already loaded so he wouldn't have to buy too many drinks.
 
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