Let's hear your dirtiest jokes
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BadAmy
Your Holiness
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- Jun 23, 2023
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willlph
Literotica Guru
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- Jun 25, 2011
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A married man went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The man said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box."
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The man said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box."
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"
VoraciousValue
Resident Loony
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- Jun 9, 2016
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Q. Why do Canadians prefer to do it doggie style?
A. So they can both watch the hockey game!
A. So they can both watch the hockey game!
Azuldrgon
Big Blue Guy
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- Aug 8, 2005
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- 65,443
Heard this from a Youtube video:
A young Italian woman on her wedding night was scared to be alone with her new husband because she was a virgin.
She asked her mother what to do.
Her mother told her to go upstairs because her man would take care of her.
She goes upstairs and gets his shirt off and she gets scared. She runs back downstairs.
She tells her mother that he has a hairy chest.
Her mother tells her that he will take care of her.
She goes back upstairs and helps him remove his shoes and notices he is missing three toes on one foot.
She runs downstairs and tells her mother that he has a foot and a half.
Her mother then says to stay downstairs and watch dinner while she handles him.
A young Italian woman on her wedding night was scared to be alone with her new husband because she was a virgin.
She asked her mother what to do.
Her mother told her to go upstairs because her man would take care of her.
She goes upstairs and gets his shirt off and she gets scared. She runs back downstairs.
She tells her mother that he has a hairy chest.
Her mother tells her that he will take care of her.
She goes back upstairs and helps him remove his shoes and notices he is missing three toes on one foot.
She runs downstairs and tells her mother that he has a foot and a half.
Her mother then says to stay downstairs and watch dinner while she handles him.
