Just chat. Interesting background story of no sex for past 3 years.

[loungelizard711]

Realistically I've never heard of this happening to anyone my age but here I am.

Back story:

The girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years as of the 11th this month. I'm 23-she's 22. Within the first 6 months I cheated on her-invited another girl over (long story)-she kissed me and I told her to get out. She proceeded to tell my girlfriend that everything and anything happened, which really crushed her. 3 faithful years later with zero sex and she tells me she wants space. I go to her house one night to fix her computer-and find out she was already getting together with another guy. Turns out she though cheating on me would fix things but it just made them worse. We've been together the last 6 months now and have been happy-however intamacy is absolutely non existent. My birthday back in may-nothing. She blamed it on her BC for a while but then stopped taking it for months and still no libido. I purchased a house a month ago-sh lives with me, we have a dog, we sleep in the same bed and enjoy each others company but every time I try to initiate anything I get ignored or excuses fly. Simple put I love this girl but we have no intamacy.

I guess what I'm looking for is someone to talk to. I want other perspectives on this. I haven't included everything-just most of the main stuff but still.

It's hard having a high sex drive buy being constantly shut down by the one person you try to build a life with isn't condusive to a good mood.

She's very happy in every other aspect just zero interest in intamacy.

Also I'm not overweight, unattractive, I go to school and pay all the bills as well as take us on vacations yearly (cruise in 2 weeks).

 

[Lyricalli]

Why wouldn't she be happy? She's not interested in having sex with you. so she doesn't. Her life is great. Even her bills are paid.

The question to you is, if this isn't a satisfying romantic relationship for you, why are you staying in it? She's either not interested in sex or not interested in sex with you. Let's assume that never changes. Is this the life you want to live with her?

Maybe seek counseling?

 

[gypsyTX]

You're not serious, right?

I'm baffled.

 

[loungelizard711]

A few main points:

1) It's not a clear cut case of romance/ no romance. In the beginning before certain events we were akin to 2 rabbits in a wool sock levels of heat when together.

2)She's not a gold digger, 4 years ago i was basically living out of my car/gym. The military had discharged me and i had no where to stay. She does cover stuff like groceries but it comes down to the fact i make more than her so i pay more.

2) I guess the big question is how to figure out what's more important to you-the intimacy or the rest of the relationship. Some people make it out to be a one or the other ordeal, but when you make memories with someone over 4 years and spend every day with them-it's not simply that simple.

 

[gypsyTX]

Ok. I get that.

Think about this though:

Do you ever want kids? Your options seem to be either to adopt or to raise someone else's offspring, if we go by her willingness to have sex with someone other than you.


Four years seem like a lot when you're 23, but trust me, it's just a blink of an eye.
You seem to have found a good friend. Why not just be that? Friends.

 

[Lyricalli]

3) I guess the big question is how to figure out what's more important to you-the intimacy or the rest of the relationship. Some people make it out to be a one or the other ordeal, but when you make memories with someone over 4 years and spend every day with them-it's not simply that simple.

Exactly. Do you want the next 40 to be like the last four?

You're young. Four years isn't as long as four years feels right now. And, seriously, think about counseling. Something's not working, and the two of you aren't figuring it out between you, so get some help.




p.s. Hey Gypsy

 

[Patrum]

time to move on

My friend, move on. There are many other fish in the sea. She either isn't into you, or has a bigger malfunction. You are young, dynamic and want more. She doesn't. Don't let her keep you stuck. You need to man up and tell her that YOU want to move on. Give her a firm time frame to move out of your place and move on. It will be hard for a few weeks, tops. Then, you will discover there are tons of beautiful, interesting women that are your age, right around you who are interested in you....

Trust me... Just do it. you will be WAY better off. Trying to make it work with her (aka trying to "Fix" her) will end in unhappiness for both of you

 

[gypsyTX]

p.s. Hey Gypsy

Hey Calli

If you haven't yet, I recommend you look at the pic he posted.

 

[Lyricalli]

Hey Calli

If you haven't yet, I recommend you look at the pic he posted.

I may have spotted that.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Hey Calli

If you haven't yet, I recommend you look at the pic he posted.

Holy goddamn Christ. This dude is built as fuck and his girlfriend doesn't want to fuck him after a young-and-dumb mishap that happened over four years ago. Something is way wrong.

To the OP, if I were you, I would be knocking the back out of every woman who wanted it. Your girlfriend doesn't. Her loss. Dude, you are 23. TWENTY-THREE!!! Let that sink in. Are you going to let this woman ruin your early 20s

As a fat man who plays video games all the time, I would try to kick your ass for not being a fuck machine (emphasis on the word "try"). Man, think about this. You not fucking women is like me owning a top-tier gaming PC and only using it to surf the net.

Go fuck women! ...well, or men if that's your thing. But fuck something!

(inb4 "Chris is gay." Shut up. I aint gay. Peace.)

 

[SlutAddicted]

Whatever is going on she isn't getting past the initial infidelity issue. One way or another you gotta face that head-on. It can't be a reason to shut down the sex or the relationship isn't going anywhere.

 

[loungelizard711]

Holy goddamn Christ. This dude is built as fuck and his girlfriend doesn't want to fuck him after a young-and-dumb mishap that happened over four years ago. Something is way wrong.

To the OP, if I were you, I would be knocking the back out of every woman who wanted it. Your girlfriend doesn't. Her loss. Dude, you are 23. TWENTY-THREE!!! Let that sink in. Are you going to let this woman ruin your early 20s

As a fat man who plays video games all the time, I would try to kick your ass for not being a fuck machine (emphasis on the word "try"). Man, think about this. You not fucking women is like me owning a top-tier gaming PC and only using it to surf the net.

Go fuck women! ...well, or men if that's your thing. But fuck something!

(inb4 "Chris is gay." Shut up. I aint gay. Peace.)

Lol, thanks i think. I'm one of the smaller guys at the academy at 185/6ft but i eat pretty decent-that helps. Ironically enough i just bought one of the new iMac retinas and all i play is starcraft....talk about under-utilizing the potential


On a more serious note-lots of interesting feedback, i appreciate everyone who has contributed voicing their opinions.