How do you like to hurt?

[A Desert Rose]

*nodding* well, as far as the *ahem* wanking *wicked grin* I've seen this from both the male and female sides throughout college. There are many guys and many gals who go out looking for a good time and enjoy themselves and the hunt. There are also those who go to parties and events looking for the love of their life. It does work out sometimes and when it does more power to them. More often the marriage-minded seekers (often female at least anecdotally) end up having their expectations dashed and feelings hurt. Don't get me wrong. I don't think they should stop per se. Just that there is definite potential for heartbreak if you look for romance and happily-ever-after with a partner who's only goal is to relieve their sexual needs.

For me the whole 'using men' thing could easily turn into caring for that individual and as such I've avoided those who wanted a convenient lay where all they saw was a warm body. It's a weird place to be: intimidated by commitment, not wanting something casual. There's got to be a middle ground in there somewhere. Some of my dearest female friends are really comfortable with their sexuality and don't hesitate to share their experiences. For them sexual freedom and exploration work well and they enjoy themselves thoroughly, so no, I've realized it's not a bad thing atall. I just know that I'm one of those who can't do casual for very long before bonds start to develop.

Mostly I've been of the 'avoidance is bliss' policy, but I'm learning from talking with various folks that there are valuable lessons to be learned in the trying. Lessons that invariably aid us for the long-haul if we can see both good and bad relationships for what they are and grow in that knowledge. Hopefully then when the relationship worth fighting for comes along it can be recognized and collared

Inform us all where that is when you find it. ;-)

I'll be back later because I think there is more in this post and in nh's that I have my own take on. ;-) However, I've worked all night, the last 2 and I need some sleep.

 

[bone251]

Just the balls. They are very useful for stopping an orgasm when playing tease and denial games. Squeeze them, spank them, sometimes even a kick or a punch. The best is while I am eating her and they are squeezed really hard during her orgasm. It really lets me know how it went.

 

[Dosxx82256]

Well, I know how my oral surgeon likes to hurt, by ripping out my wisdom teeth. This is not fun at all.

 

[leatherpussycat]

You have my sympathies. That hurts like hell!

Well, I know how my oral surgeon likes to hurt, by ripping out my wisdom teeth. This is not fun at all.

 

[Dosxx82256]

You have my sympathies. That hurts like hell!

thanks, I really feel like paying the pain forward

 

[unfoundiamond]

I have no sympathy for dosxxx, but then again... I have no sympathy for any of you.

I like to tear someone down emotionally most, I am almost immune to physical pain, and must not be much of a sadist, Id rather see you have a mental meltdown than see you swell or flinch.

(I recently had a pitbull sicked on me because when he beat me, I still didn't back down or cry out... he thought the dog would break me and I ate that pain too, didn't even cry at the pain as much as the betrayal)

But emotional pain and stress is the only thing that even touches me, so I preffer to use it, insted of physical violence, as I see physical violence to be ineffective and primative when used with malicious intent.

 

[Lucky_Strike]

Knife-play

 

[thelastempress]

pain

I love pain, I love the sound that leather makes as it sings through the air. Sometimes my Master will read poetry to me before hand. Then belt makes me think of that alot the playfulness of ee cummings as the belt whispers through the air and the sting of hughes when it snaps.. it's my favorite time.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

I'm not sure as I am new to this game. I imagine my first spank will feel good.

 

[Sunflowerrr]

I much rather would enjoy physical pain. Whip me, spank me, tie me up and do whatever you will with me and I'll love it. At times I'll admit I like the degrading role play thing but I've always done it with someone I've trusted and they've never hurt me in a way that I couldn't come back from. I quite enjoy a good lashing every once in a while, bite me and leave bruises and fuck me to where I can't get away.


Makes me hott just thinking about it.

 

[EmpressFi]

I much rather would enjoy physical pain. Whip me, spank me, tie me up and do whatever you will with me and I'll love it. At times I'll admit I like the degrading role play thing but I've always done it with someone I've trusted and they've never hurt me in a way that I couldn't come back from. I quite enjoy a good lashing every once in a while, bite me and leave bruises and fuck me to where I can't get away.


Makes me hott just thinking about it.

Hell yeah.. 17 days to go.. 17 days to go

 

[faeriefire]

I just had a mini-realization and thought I'd share. Emotional pain being doled out by someone I trust to catch me in the aftermath reaches down and exposes part of me that can't otherwise be reached. But when it's coming from someone acting irrationally, uncaringly, and inteded to hurt then it just sucks! I like the sensation of physical pain. Like what it makes me feel. It's quantifiable more or less and releases more than endorphins.

When someone is emotionally hurting me I tend to pull back into a shell and hide as best I can so they don't know where to strike again. Because that reaction is well-established it's hard to break. Sometimes I even look for emotional pain where there is none. But it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In the bdsm sense I know there's a ton of potential there. Add in a little Catholic guilt and...well, the possibilities are practically endless. Sometimes the emotional breakdown heals. Sometimes it just hurts. I think a lot of that depends on the intention of the one doing the hurting and how they show they love or its lack in the after-period. The power there for me is in opening up and trusting someone enough to let them push those buttons.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... Like someone else said, it's not so much the pain itself that I'm interested in (though that's certainly nice in its own right), but the violence and the brutality when I'm on bottom.

As for emotional pain...I need it. I need it more than I need to breathe sometimes. No, it probably isn't healthy, and, yes, it does get me in trouble a lot of times. But it's a craving that never goes away. It doesn't wax and wane like my need for physical pain. There's practically never a time that I won't welcome humiliation, degradation, and just plain emotional cruelty.

Furthermore, it's not something most people are any good at, either...

That being said, it's not something I want non-stop. While it's happening, I need to believe that he means what he says. If I think he's play-acting, it kills the whole mood, and I'll laugh in his face. I have to think it's real. And him telling me the second it's over that he didn't mean any of it kills the mood, too. I need to be allowed to wallow for a little while, then loved back to where I need to be. It makes the bond stronger, in my opinion.

There are some definite bad sides to this, but the post is already long enough. I'll write more later if y'all are interested.

You would be a dangerous girl for me to be around long term, Bunny... for years the only outlet my inner sadist had was the verbal... with words I could strip away dignity and self worth, question intelligence, ability, ancestry, sanity... The verbal knife I wielded was sharp and deadly accurate.

I grew up in a family where verbal fencing was a martial art and sarcasm was an art form and I became a master of the slam.

And I've spent years leashing my tongue because the inner sadist could inflict physical pain and that outlet, while less conventional, allowed me to stop unleashing the emotional pain on those around me, particularly those I cared about like my ex and my children. The calm, self-assured (and re-assuring), usually decent fellow you know from Literotica hides a vicious, very nasty tongued son of a bitch.

And I'm not sure if I uncorked that genie if I would ever get it back in the bottle.

Yes girl, you would be very effing dangerous to play with...

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I like some forms of physical pain, and I can tolerate most others. A lot of factors go into that, like how the other person is administering it, what kind of mood I'm in, and how often I've played lately (which affects my tolerance for it). There are some types of physical pain I love and crave, and those are the things I'm interested in dishing out to others as well. Like someone else said, it's not so much the pain itself that I'm interested in (though that's certainly nice in its own right), but the violence and the brutality when I'm on bottom.

As for emotional pain...I need it. I need it more than I need to breathe sometimes. No, it probably isn't healthy, and, yes, it does get me in trouble a lot of times. But it's a craving that never goes away. It doesn't wax and wane like my need for physical pain. There's practically never a time that I won't welcome humiliation, degradation, and just plain emotional cruelty.

Furthermore, it's not something most people are any good at, either. It's hard to convince a man that I need something more than having sexual insults hurled at me ("whore," "slut," whatever). I'm not easily humiliated or easily wounded, so I guess I run around most of the time trying to get my fix by jumping into supremely stupid situations.

That being said, it's not something I want non-stop. While it's happening, I need to believe that he means what he says. If I think he's play-acting, it kills the whole mood, and I'll laugh in his face. I have to think it's real. And him telling me the second it's over that he didn't mean any of it kills the mood, too. I need to be allowed to wallow for a little while, then loved back to where I need to be. It makes the bond stronger, in my opinion.

There are some definite bad sides to this, but the post is already long enough. I'll write more later if y'all are interested.

I couldnt have say it better. I am just like that, too.. Its not that long i discovered. lol

 

[pierced_boy]

I much rather would enjoy physical pain. Whip me, spank me, tie me up and do whatever you will with me and I'll love it. At times I'll admit I like the degrading role play thing but I've always done it with someone I've trusted and they've never hurt me in a way that I couldn't come back from. I quite enjoy a good lashing every once in a while, bite me and leave bruises and fuck me to where I can't get away.


Makes me hott just thinking about it.

This works for me too, we keep our D/s in the play room with the toys and the teeth and the control

 

[BiBunny]

You would be a dangerous girl for me to be around long term, Bunny... for years the only outlet my inner sadist had was the verbal... with words I could strip away dignity and self worth, question intelligence, ability, ancestry, sanity... The verbal knife I wielded was sharp and deadly accurate.

I grew up in a family where verbal fencing was a martial art and sarcasm was an art form and I became a master of the slam.

And I've spent years leashing my tongue because the inner sadist could inflict physical pain and that outlet, while less conventional, allowed me to stop unleashing the emotional pain on those around me, particularly those I cared about like my ex and my children. The calm, self-assured (and re-assuring), usually decent fellow you know from Literotica hides a vicious, very nasty tongued son of a bitch.

And I'm not sure if I uncorked that genie if I would ever get it back in the bottle.

Yes girl, you would be very effing dangerous to play with...

*Sigh* I don't think uncorking the genie would be a bad thing, honestly. Some of us need that kind of thing as much as we need to breathe, though most don't understand it.

 

[Sunflowerrr]

This works for me too, we keep our D/s in the play room with the toys and the teeth and the control

hell yes.

 

[wouldloveto]

Wow, all kinds of physical pain...

I knew about spanking early, and still love it.

Then whips and clips...

Now my gf is getting into CBT, almost despite herself...

 

[baristagirl]

I've always been a very feisty girl, willing to throw down for a scrap whenever. Although I am fairly small and don't always win (alright, so my chances of winning are slim) I always relished that I never gave up. No matter what the pain, how I got all twisted up, nothing has ever cracked me. I will hike for miles with scarring blisters on my feet and not even notice until I see my bloody socks, accidentally light myself on fire while spinning and only notice when I smell burning flesh. So, maybe I'm looking forward to a time when I finally have to give. So much physical pain that I really can't be so proud over it all (childbirth might take care of this?).

But, that's also pretty indicative of me feeling haughty with how I handle pain. I feel like no level of pain can get me down... but when someone utters a word against me my head starts swimming. Did I do it? Was I wrong? Can I right it? Etc... emotional pain wrecks me. In the past I've turned to physical pain to distract from and conquer emotional pain. I'll lob a solid punch at ya, but when I become defiant with my words I am setting up for battle.

So, physical pain is nothing without emotional support. If anyone were to get rough with me, I just play along until the emotional punches start rolling... then I'm helpless.

 

[girlofurdreams]

a slight bump with a relating question....

just wondering what some of your favourtie toys/devices/methods for inflicting pain for pleasure/punishment are??

 

[desertslave]

Interesting thread! I'm all about physical pain, but definitely NOT emotional. It's probably because I was one of those awkward, easy-to-tease kids in school. I've worked hard to build up my self-esteem. Some things I'm downright bold about, but many things are riddled with self-doubt. Do not mess with that!

But my body, beat me, whip me, hurt me!!!! So many painful things get me wet. I love floggers, deep thuddy ones and wicked stingy ones. I like canes and crops, too. I like pinchy-grabbing things like clips and suction, and I looooove knifeplay. I also like tight bondage that makes me squirm against myself. And those tantalizing words "just hold still now." <melt>

 

[girlofurdreams]

But my body, beat me, whip me, hurt me!!!! So many painful things get me wet. I love floggers, deep thuddy ones and wicked stingy ones. I like canes and crops, too. I like pinchy-grabbing things like clips and suction, and I looooove knifeplay. I also like tight bondage that makes me squirm against myself. And those tantalizing words "just hold still now." <melt>

hmmm interesting.. my favourite is a good old fashioned open hand slap anywhere on my skin, and quite enjoy the other things you've listed but am yet to try knifeplay...

what kind of things are involved with this? i'm a little apprehensive about playing with blades, but Sir enjoys taking me passed my limits and i enjoy being pushed beyond my normal boundaries.... maybe an example if you would be so kind ds??

 

[desertslave]

hmmm interesting.. my favourite is a good old fashioned open hand slap anywhere on my skin, and quite enjoy the other things you've listed but am yet to try knifeplay...

what kind of things are involved with this? i'm a little apprehensive about playing with blades, but Sir enjoys taking me passed my limits and i enjoy being pushed beyond my normal boundaries.... maybe an example if you would be so kind ds??

We don't do actual cutting. Master uses a blade that feels sharp but isn't. It's more the "scare" than the reality, but at the right time, it's mind-blowing. The point IS pointy...that makes me apprehensive even though I know I'm safe. I rather like mindfucks like that. There's always the chance that he could draw blood on my nipple...and the feeling against my clit is unbelievable. It's so intense, it makes me want to move, but I know that's the worst thing I could do. Mmmmmm

 

[girlofurdreams]

We don't do actual cutting. Master uses a blade that feels sharp but isn't. It's more the "scare" than the reality, but at the right time, it's mind-blowing. The point IS pointy...that makes me apprehensive even though I know I'm safe. I rather like mindfucks like that. There's always the chance that he could draw blood on my nipple...and the feeling against my clit is unbelievable. It's so intense, it makes me want to move, but I know that's the worst thing I could do. Mmmmmm

hmmm might be the way to approach this to begin with.... thanks so much ds

 

[the_mgp]

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