Ghost Lover-Closed For yaturtle

[Perplexia]

Jessica Lynn Strouse sat in the window sill of her 5th avenue walk up over looking Manhattan. She had lived in the city for seven years admiring the hustle and bustle of the famous city.

After graduating 1st in her class at NYU for business she had obtained a 'dream job' at one of the top 5 Fortune 500 companies. Even with the 'perfect job', 'perfect apartment', and 'perfect boyfriend', Jacob Van Boyle an up and coming lawyer, at the young age of 25 she was still missing something.

Her apt, though she called it 'perfect' was really only perfect for her. Her friends tried encouraging her to no avail to purchase some upgraded real estate to reflect her status in society. But Jessica was a minimalist. She didn't mind that her apt was small, or that it took forever to climb the five flights of stairs with a bag of groceries.

Looking at her old Timex watch she realized she was late for her date with Jacob. He had sounded excited when he talked to her about having something important to ask her. God she hoped it wasn't a proposal, they had only been dating for three months. He was nice and chivalrous, good looking, successful, and perfect on paper. But when she kissed him, she felt nothing. It wasn't that he wasn't a good kisser, or a generous lover, he simply didn't inspire her. There were no butterflies when she looked at him, no aching between her thighs yearning for him, there was simply the contentment and companionship.

Quickly rising she put on her heels and hurried down the stairs to hail a taxi. The brisk air nipped at her ankles reminding her briefly of a childhood moment at the Inn in Lily Dale, NY that her great aunt owned. It had been a magical place that she had visited as often as her mother would let her. That was until her mother and great aunt had an epic fight regarding her absentee father. Or at least that was the just of it.
She talked to her mother, a hopeless romantic, about once a month. She was normally out on a new adventure with a new younger man she had fallen madly in love with. The phrases "he's the one" and "he understand me like no other", were common tunes she heard each time. At some point she stopped listening. Perhaps there was no such thing as true love, or butterflies. Yet still she found herself drawn to romance movies and stories.

The taxi halted in front of One if by land and Two if by sea luxury restaurant. It was said to be one of the most romantic restaurants in Manhattan. After paying the driver she made her way inside where she was shown to the table that Jacob was currently waiting at. He rose as any good gentleman would and pulled her rustic wooden chair out for her. The lights from the chandlers sparkled creating the ambiance of a romantic cafe in Paris.

She smiled and thanked him as she sat. Once seated they browsed the menu as he talked about how much he loved his job. How she wished she had that kind of passion for hers. How she wished she had any kind of passion for anything. As their meal came she found her first bit of passion as she dove into her Whole Boneless Poussin, or in layman's terms a really good pot pie. She simply wasn't in to the whole fancy cuisine where they charged you an enormous amount of money for a bite of food. It was called art, but why would she want to eat art and still be hungry?

"Jessica" Jacob said refusing to call her Jess or Jessie like any of her friends or co-workers. His voice was more serious and eyes intense as he looked into her emerald ones. "When I first saw you, I knew i had to have you. You are so beautiful and elegant. I can see us one day having children together. Will you move in with me?"

Well it wasn't as bad as a marriage proposal would have been, but still he talked about her like she was a Ferrari. Elegant? did he know her at all, she was eating a glorified pot pie, and lived in a 5 story walk up. She preferred jeans to trousers, and shorts and tank tops to more sophisticated casual wear. This would be the expected path, the way life was suppose to be. Shouldn't she be ecstatic at the opportunity?

"Jacob" she said lightly "All though I appreciate the offer, I don't see you in the same light. I'm just not in to the high society lifestyle that you, I've been happy with the time that we shared, but I don't think this is working." Reaching into her purse she pulled out cash to cover her part of the meal and laid it on the table. "I really hope you find what you're looking for." The look on his face was that of confusion and horror. He's just been rejected and broken up with in one brief conversation. She was sure he'd never been broken up with before.

Rising from the table she picked up her purse and headed out of the restaurant. It was she could do to not run. The taxi ride home was uneventful, now comfortably back in her apt she played the messages from her answering machine as she changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top.

"Miss Strouse, my name is Reginald Ostenheimer. I'm with Ostenheimer and Sons Estate Lawyers. I have some important business to discuss with you, please call me back at your earliest convenience at ##########. "

What could an Estate Lawyer want with her? The question boggled her mind as she settled in to bed. Tomorrow was Friday, and for once she didn't have any plans for the weekend. Oh how she was looking forward to that.
On her way to work the next morning she made a call to the Lawyers office.

"Thank you for returning my call so promptly Miss Strouse" Ostenheimer responded as he picked up her transferred call. "I regret to inform you of the passing of your Great Aunt Hilda St. Claire. When can we meet to go over all that you are to inherit?"

"Wouldn't my mother be the one to inherit?" she questioned saddened and a bit overwhelmed.
"No your Aunt specifically designated in her will that you were the only heir."
"Well I will need to take some time off work, may i call you back this afternoon?"
"Yes that will be find thank you"

After the morning meeting she spoke with her boss about taking some bereavement time due to a death in the family. Since she had banked vacation time her boss agreed to let her take a couple weeks off. Part bereavement and part holiday he divulged. She had apparently never taken a day off and had more time on the books then anyone else. "take today off too" he advised with a grin and she shrugged and obliged. She needed to rent a car and pack anyway.

When she called Mr. Ostenheimer back she asked if she'd be able to stay at her aunts inn. He advised that he'd have someone meet her there in the morning with the keys. He would meet her on Monday to go over everything with her.

She was saddened deeply over her Great Aunts passing. She had managed to talk to her a couple times a month over the years. She was almost 97 to the best of her knowledge. Though she never complained of any ailments or health issues. She was truly a remarkable woman. The stories Hilda told over the years were music to her ears. The stories were about the Inn, and how it had been passed down for generations, as well as stories about famous people that had stayed there over the years. Her Aunt had closed the Inn to the public about five or ten years ago. It was too much for a woman of her age to keep up with.

Tears trickled down her face as she packed her suitcase. Promises had been made about coming up to visit, she just never managed to have time. Though her aunt never made her feel bad about it. The idea was there and she had always intended to make the time. Now it was too late.

Early Saturday morning arrived and the SUV was ready when she arrived at the rental place. It was a long six hour drive to Lily Dale. The town had less then 300 permanent residents but had about 35000 visitors a year. It was the oddest thing for the beautiful little town. But it was a secluded getaway. As she drew closer to the town memories seemed to drift back. Although she had been a bit old for an invisible friend. He existed for her still the same. They went on hikes in the woods, he was there to listen when she had cried over her father not wanting her in his life, or when her mother was being completely neurotic. Even though she excepted that he wasn't real. He still remained her favorite person. The one time she had brought him up her mother literally laughed at her telling her how foolish and immature she was. Her aunt merely smiled, never commented and only listened.
Jessica wasn't sure if her aunt believed her or not, but she didn't make her feel like a fool. That was one thing that drew her to her aunts loving embrace.

As she drove up to the Inn she noticed that very little had changed. The drive was now paved instead of gravel. The barn seemed a little worn but still standing and mostly in good shape. The swing that she swung on as a child swayed in the breeze. The wind chimes sang their tune. For the first time in a long time it felt like she was a home. The sound of an old worn F150 drew her attention as it pulled up behind her SUV.
A handsome rugged lumbar jack size of a man stepped out. Wiping his hand off on his torn Jeans he extended a hand. "Miss Strouse, I'm Jack Lane, I was the care taker for Ms. Hilda. I have the keys for ya." He reached in his pants and pulled out a ring of old fashioned keys and handed it to her. "I'm awfully sorry to hear about your aunt miss."

"Thank you Mr. Lane."
"Just Jack Miss"
"thanks Jack"
"She mentioned you now and again when i was out here fixin somethin. Was awfully proud of all you've accomplished."

That made her smile a little bit. Jack ran a hand through is grizzly beard as he seemed off in thought for a moment. "Oh Ms. Nelly from the general store sent me with a bag of groceries for ya. Said no worries it was on the house."

"That was really kind of her" Jess responded as he went to his truck and brought out two large filled to the rim paper bags. "I'll just put these in the kitchen for ya and be on my way if you'd open the door." Jack said in a determined voice.

"oh ..ok well thank you Jack." Making her way up to the porch she looked at the giant key ring and found one with a label maker sticker on it that said Frt. Dr. and opened it. The familiar smell of lavender rushed in to meet her nostrils giving her an overwhelming sense of calmness. The chime on the door waned down as it stilled.

Jack made his way back to the kitchen as her eyes looked at the once familiar surroundings. Making her way out to the SUV she grabbed her bags and brought them in. Her bags were old, she never bought new ones cause she never really went anywhere. Jess' fingers slid up the cedar staircase railing as she pulled them up the stairs one thump at a time till she reached the very top. The corner suite was the one she had always stayed in, so without thought she made her way there and looked through the keys until she found the one for her room and made her way inside. It was almost exactly how she left it. Opening up the window she let the breeze in letting some of the stale air out from the lonely room.

"I'll be leaving now Miss" Jack called from downstairs. "Ok ty again Jack and tell Ms Nelly ty for me too." "Will do" with that the door shut and bells rang. She stared out at the trees watching a leaf fall down to its new home on the ground. Fall had just started, and soon winter would be upon the little town of Lily Dale. Winter was always her favorite time of the year.

 

[yaturtle]

John Ames sat back in his armchair in front of the fire place an lit his pipe.He was grizzled and weathered from a life of working in the outdoors and it made him look older than his fifty two yrs on earth. Across the room his wife Hilda paced and wrung her hands. They both listened as Jack left and promised to thank Ms Nelly for the food leaving Jess alone at the inn. " Relax Hilda dear , we will know soon enough when she's read your letter just were she stands." Hilda turned to him "You have far more confidence than I in the letter. I am not at all certain she follow our instructions and come speak with us . It's been a long time, people change,especially city people. If she regards my letter as hogwash and throws in the trash we could lose the Inn forever and it will be my fault." A tear rolled down her cheek as she resumed her pacing ."Darling we have been over this hundreds of times,you could not have foreseen the circumstances that led us here today. No matter the outcome you are not to blame. Besides the lawyer was instructed to to tell her she is only to read the letter in the privacy of her own room at he inn. Hilda we know she loves you , she will follow your instructions and try to reach you. If she has grown into the young women you always believed she would ,Then she will keep the Inn.

The letter
Dear Jess
If you are reading this you have been to see Mr Ostenheimer.
I'm so sorry i never got the the opportunity to speak with you directly, I do miss you so sweetheart. I know the instructions to read this in private must have seemed odd , and i hope you will understand. Please don't be frightened by this. I do need to speak with you again and there is a way to do so. You must go into my room . On the bureau there are two candle sticks. Place one on each side of the mirror and light them. Under
the mirror is my gold chain and locket. Loop one end of the chain around each candlestick. My image will slowly appear in the mirror. I have so much to tell you.

All my love
Hilda

 

[Perplexia]

Getting down from the window ledge she began to unpack some of her belongings. She was going to be here for at least a couple weeks, and had no desire to rush back to her life in the city.

Taking out a wooden duck she stroked the small sanded carving. It was the one thing she had kept with her all these years. Her invisible friend had carved it for her, though many had tried convincing her that she had simply found it and it was a merely a concocted story from her imagination. Placing on her dresser. She moved her now empty suitcase off the bed and laid down.

She didn't wake for a few more hours. Making her way down to the kitchen she made herself a sandwich and a thermos of hot coca and made her way out to the woods. Closing her eyes she took a deep inhale of the fresh air, just as she did when she was a child. The woods were magical to her. Her invisible friend had taught her a lot about trees and the plants and flowers that bloomed through out it.

Jess liked to explore and found herself at an old weed covered graveyard surrounded by a rusted cast iron black fence. Deciding to investigate she went about the task to uncover the area and rid it of it's weeds. After a couple hours she made quite a bit of progress and took a break to drink some coca and eat her sandwich. Some of the grave stones were unreadable. But as far as she could tell they went back as far as the 1700's.

Darkness soon began to fall upon the woods and she headed back to the inn. Once there she built a fire and took a seat in the old chair her and her invisible friend would sit in when he read to her. Pulling down the afghan she just reflected on her memories and time at the old inn.

 

[yaturtle]

Hilda came back into the room with the a rush. "John she still has Stephens duck !!.
I followed and she went straight to the graves and even tidied up. She must have fond memories of him still. She took johns hands in hers " I'm so exited ,perhaps she remembers much more than i thought. John put his pipe down and stood." Yes darling i agree . It's seems more promising that she will be receptive to your letter. But we won't no for sure until the lawyers office opens on Monday.One step at a time my love. In the meantime what say we go for stroll along the river." With a wink he pulled Hilda to him
and kissed her softly on the cheek." I'm sure we can occupy ourselves until then".

 

[Perplexia]

Jess fell asleep in the chair and woke early in the morning before the sun rose. Throwing some wood on the down dwindling fire she made her way into the kitchen to make some coffee and breakfast.

The Inn was so quiet it was almost eerie. The lawyer hadn't revealed any details of her Aunt Hilda's will. But she assumed that the Inn had been left to her. If it was one of the first things she would have to do is access for repairs. She wasn't sure if she was going to sell it just yet. There were a lot of fond memories here. It was truly the only part of her past that she though upon fondly.

Through out the day she pondered her potential decision. On one hand she had a great paying job, she liked her little apartment, all in all she was very content in her life in the big city. On the other hand, even though she'd only been here for one night. This place felt more like home, then any place she'd been before.

Retrieving her laptop she began to look into the process of making the Inn a historical landmark. Between the stories Aunt Hilda had told her, and those adventures of her invisible friend. She should be able to find something that would qualify the place other than it's age.

 

[yaturtle]

A gentle breeze ruffled the grass along the river bank.The only sounds came from the restless water and the birds in the trees. Hilda rested her head on her husbands chest smiling as his chest rose and fell with each breath. The breeze felt good ,she was still a little sweaty from the warm sun on her back and the efforts of their lovemaking. her hand played with his beard as she stared at the river. This was her favorite place in the world.
She was convinced it was here that their son was conceived. The thought always brought a smile to face and often as not a tear of joy. She would normally drift of to sleep but today her mind went back to Jessica and the Inn,what would she say?. She felt john
gently stoking her hair. As if he could read her mind he said" It will be fine Hilda.When the time comes you will no exactly what to say".

 

[Perplexia]

Her first task was to find some pictures that would reflect the inn back in the early years. She needed to find out exactly how old it was, and who built it. She needed to prove that the original structure hadn't been altered, and that there were no plans to alter it.

The dining hall was designed with the idea of bringing people together. It had communal tables instead of individual ones. They always reminded her of super long picnic tables.

Aunt Hilda had told her stories of the 60's and early 70's where it was a big hit with the hippies. There wasn't room service, you either ate at breakfast lunch and dinner times, or you simply didn't eat.

Closing her laptop she got the keys and went into the office. The walls were lined with filing cabinets. Aunt Hilda was a meticulous record keeper. Each one was labeled with the years. She started at the beginning and began with the first log she found.

 

[yaturtle]

John chewed the end of his unlit pipe as he watched Jess. She was fiddling with that electric book thing of hers for awhile before she headed of to go through some of the old filing cabinets. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. He supposed it depended on what she was looking for ,or more importantly why. No point in bringing it up with Hilda it would just send her into another fit of worry. Of course if she was still at it when Hilda came up from her nap he would have to listen to it anyway. Best to just keep an eye on what she was reading just so he would know. He sighed to himself ,doesn't matter a lick anyway. All depends upon whether she comes to find them or runs from the house screaming when she reads that letter. Yup one more day by god.

 

[Perplexia]

Jessica sat for hours going name by name until her body started to atrophy from not moving. Placing the log open on the desk she made her way into the kitchen to get a drink and stretch her legs.

After grabbing a quick lunch and some more coffee, she padded her way back to the office perusing the wall of photos. Her eyes came across one of JFK and Marilyn Monroe standing in front of the fireplace in the den.

If she could find the log from that time frame and proved they stayed there, it would be the proof she needed. Making her way to her laptop she looked up time frames and getting the years she went to the office on a mission.

A few hours later she finally found it. Marking the page w/ a sticky note. She placed it back in the filing cabinet for safe keeping.

Having spend all day reading she was tired. She made herself dinner and went to take a shower. Tomorrow was the early meeting with the Lawyer. Going to bed she said good night to her wooden duck, and laid down for the night.

The next morning came quickly. After breakfast and coffee she got dressed and made her way to the Lawyers office.

 

[yaturtle]

Tell me again said Hilda. John struck a match and relit his pipe."she was typing away on her electric book thing for awhile,before she went and starting reading the old journals. With the exception of making herself some lunch she was at it pretty much all day.You were awake when she put the bookmark in 1962 and said goodnight to the duck. They both hard the door close as Jess left the inn. No telling whats on her mind,the duck is the only one she spoke to and he's not saying.Lets get us some coffe and set outside a bit we'll no soon enough".Hilda turned and left for the kitchen with a huff.

 

[Perplexia]

"Mr. Ostenheimer is ready to see you" said the wide rimmed glasses secretary. Picking up her purse Jessica headed into the double wood door barrier office.

"Good Morning, I'm Mr. Ostenheimer" said the short round balding man. First let me apologize for your loss once again." After shaking her hand he motioned for her to sit down.

Taking a seat in an over sized chair she placed her purse on the side of her. "As you may have guessed, your aunt has left you the Inn and it's surrounding land. There is a condition that you must live there at least one year before selling. You of course have the leeway of up to one month to settle your affairs to make the move. She set up a trust for the inn, and a salary for you to live on. She also has accounts set up at all the stores in town where you may need supplies, and food etc. They will all be billed to the trust. It will be up to you whether or not you wish to reopen the inn. I've included all the paperwork required to do so, along with a business license transfer and renewal. She also willed you her assets which include the contents of her checking, savings, and life insurance. You're quite a wealthy woman even if you were to walk away. Lastly she left you this letter, and requests that you only open it in the privacy of your room at the hotel."

Well he certainly was a straight to the point kind of lawyer. "Thank you" she said taking the pile of papers and envelope. Standing up they shook hands and she was on her way back home again. Placing the papers on the desk in the office she looked at the envelope.

Placing it in her pocket she made her way to the kitchen for some more coffee and sat there in the quiet of the inn. There were so many memories in this kitchen. Most of them included her invisible friend. Shaking her head and wiping a tear from her eye she made her way up to her room and sat on the bed. Opening the letter she read :

Dear Jess
If you are reading this you have been to see Mr Ostenheimer.
I'm so sorry i never got the the opportunity to speak with you directly, I do miss you so sweetheart. I know the instructions to read this in private must have seemed odd , and i hope you will understand. Please don't be frightened by this. I do need to speak with you again and there is a way to do so. You must go into my room . On the bureau there are two candle sticks. Place one on each side of the mirror and light them. Under
the mirror is my gold chain and locket. Loop one end of the chain around each candlestick. My image will slowly appear in the mirror. I have so much to tell you.

All my love
Hilda

Well that is a bit odd, but this was the town where the spiritualism society was formed so she shouldn't be too shocked. Taking the letter she made her way to Aunt Hilda's room and unlocked her door and entered. She ran her fingers along the pink quilt that so neatly covered the bed. Then went to the bureau. Looking at the letter she followed the instructions and looked into the mirror.

 

[yaturtle]

Hilda's image slowly became clear in the mirror. Her lower lip trembled an she dabbed at tear that had rolled down her cheek. " oh Jessica honey, I'm so happy to see you again . You don't no how much this means to me. I was so worried you would not come . You were still a a baby in my eyes at least the Last time we spent any real time together. What a beautiful young lady you've grown to be. My illness took me by surprise and I was never able to tell you anything you needed to know. Only our true flesh and blood can remain here in peace at the inn. Your mother was adopted by my sister you never met . That is why she could never see the things that you see. She met a man from boston who she claimed was your father and married him. It wasn't until later when you touched the locket around my neck and talked to my son Stephen that we realized he could not be your father . Your mother stubborn as she was would never tell us . I suspect my sister's son Aaron even though he was already married at the time. You're mother and I had a falling out over it and she took off. She only brought you here when she was having difficulty with him. You were to young to explain it to and had already been ridiculed for talking about your invisible friend. Jess the problem is only family can see us and go into the past. Anyone else cannot and if they tore it down for development we have no idea what would become of us. Jess you are my last hope to save the Inn .

 

[Perplexia]

Jess wiped her eyes not believing what she was seeing or hearing. Why did the name Stephen sound familiar?

"I'm looking into making this place a historical landmark so it can't be demolished" she said rather flatly still coming to terms with talking to her great aunt through a mirror. "Are you okay where ever you are?" she asked with a bit of concern.
"Stephen... that was my invisible friend? He's your son? A ghost? But how could he be? He carved ducky for me, held my hand, pushed me on the swing?. Where is he?"

She had so many questions. "What do you want me to do Aunt Hilda? Do you want me to reopen the inn? I know i have to stay at least a year. I haven't quite thought about what i'll do after that."

 

[yaturtle]

Gilda's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped ." Historical landmark!!!
I never even considered that. I mean it's old certainly but not an architectural wonder of any sort. How would you do that? Never mind we we will have plenty of time to talk about that. I'm just so happy you're here at all. I was so worried that you wouldn't come at all. My little one you grew up to be beautiful young lady. Oh and we are just fine right here. Its actually a wonderful place. Stephen and your ducky? Well I can explain that. When your mother came here with you she was going through some difficulties and needed time to herself. So on occasion you were left here with me. And well you see there's another way you can see us,and unlike the mirror you are really here with us. You can touch us and feel us and experience the inn and the land the way it was at the time .

 

[Perplexia]

"I don't understand Aunt Hilda" she said a bit baffled. It certainly never felt like another time period when she was a child. "what do you wish me to do?"

Memories of Stephen were making more sense now that she knew he was a ghost and not the imaginary friend she had been ridiculed for seeing.

"Has the structure of the Inn been altered at all? Do you know where the blue prints are? Has any historical figures stayed here?"

She didn't want to overwhelm her aunt but she had so many questions. "I will need help Aunt Hilda, am I able to see Stephen again?"

 

[yaturtle]

"Oh jess it's difficult to explain. There are parts I don't understand my self.
First of I misspoke. Of course I wasn't family but I married john,and we both passed here on the property . He passed before you were born,but the rituals allowed me to be with him. That's why I held onto the inn. I believe john told me some of the rooms in back were originally servants quarters ". Hilda knitted her brow trying to remember. "I'm sure there's paperwork in the cellar safe. I don't know if it's what you're after. But first we have to have you ritualized. Then you can be hear with us, you can see us and touch us the same as the living. I'm sure Stephen will be delighted ,he used to dote on you so. Oh I forgot! When you see us we will appear as we were at the happiest time of our life. The way we want to be seen.you will see me when I was twenty eight. I cant wait!

 

[Perplexia]

This was crazy, she was talking to her dead aunt via a mirror, her invisible friend, turned out to be a ghost, there were servant quarters that she had to discover, and now she had to do a ritual.

"I'm not going to need to cut a head off a chicken or anything am I?" "Alright tell me what I have to do."

Jess was still a bit unsure about all of this, but this was the Inn that she loved, and she was going to be here for at least a year, so she would need to do whatever it took.

The idea of seeing Stephen again was nerve wrecking. Would he even remember her? Would he be glad to see her?

There were an enormous amount of questions that she had, and didn't even know where to begin.

 

[yaturtle]

"hello Jessica" johns voice came from behind Hilda as she looked up over her shoulder surprised to hear him speak. " The ritual is nothing to get worked up over. But it will allow you to visit us. Under the second drawer of the bureau your standing in front of you will find written the combination to the old safe in the basement. You are to wear Hilda's locket and bring the candle sticks with you . Place them on the table across from the safe.
On the top shelf of the safe you will find a leather bound journal. Take it and seat yourself at the table between the candlesticks and facing the safe. In the journal you will find the eulogy read over my great grandfather's body in the front room of this inn. recite that eulogy and as you do the basement will begin to change. To the left of the safe a door will appear . Take the journal with you and open the door. when you do you will see stairs that simply disappear down into darkness. As you walk down you will find the next stair under your feat and eventually you will enter the same basement as it was in the past. We will meet you there . Oh and there is something else you should know. No matter how much time you spend with us , the date and time when you return will remain exactly the same as when you left.

 

[Perplexia]

This was all so surreal, could it really be happening? Yet her she was staring at the reflection of her great uncle that she had never met. bureau, candles locket, journal basement safe..

She went about her tasks in an almost hypnotic way as she was instructed to do so. The next thing she knew she was repeating the eulogy and the safe on the wall appeared. She began to descend down the steps into the darkness until she reached the basement of the past.

She couldn't believe her eyes as she stared at her Great Aunt Hilda and Her Great Uncle John.

Tears came to her eyes as she walked in to her Great Aunts warm embrace and hugged her tightly. I'm so sorry I didn't visit more."