Finger up the bum, too much for some?

[rthnck]

My 750 word challenge story that's being published next week, touches on this subject (see what I did there) and it never occurred to me that this type of butt stuff would be viewed negatively (which probably says more about me than it does my readers). Granted prostate massage is not the theme of the story so it's really just a small part of the narrative. Readers can bail out of a story for a myriad of reasons and I believe that you have to write the story you want to tell without trying to satisfy what is assuredly out of your control. If it's a big part of a scene or vital to the story, I would tag it. If it's just presented as a trivial part of lovemaking, I wouldn't tag it at all, but I certainly wouldn't not write it to try and protect a reader's sensibilities.

 

[ScrappyPaperDoodler]

Interesting to hear this view, and seeing it's supported by some, but I don't have this experience at all. So I think it's highly individual. Applies to some, not to others. So it's definitely not some universal truth. Would be interesting to have some statistics on this sort of thing though! For science!

Unfortunately, I don't think there is much in the way of rigorous data on this sort of thing. The studies that dig into it mainly target university-going respondents. However, I think one statistic that might give some insight is the average penis size of performers in heterosexual porn... It seems the masses like big dicks.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Looked TLA. Up in urban dictionary

First definition: Titty Love Affection
Second: Three Letter Acronym

Please clarify.

Second

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Second

I was being facetious...

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Comes from government agencies that tend to have TLAs. FBI, CIA, FCC, FAA, etc.

Again, I was being facetious... Software has more TLA's than the government

 

[MrPixel]

Anal anything is one of my squicks. I’ll click away from anal content immediately (sorry, Em!). Yes, I’ve had a girlfriend or two think that a prostate massage is part of the deal, and I managed to not kick them out of the bed.

My problem is the hygiene aspects. I see a porn flick where the portrayal is oral to vaginal to anal and back to either, and I just want to scream “NO! NO NO NO! Don’t do that!”. However, I understand that porn producers put their actors through all sorts of misery like cleansing colonics, disinfecting procedures, and probably other stuff akin to a colonoscopy prep to protect the persons involved. The bottom (pun!) line is don’t try this at home!

Intestinal flora is bad bad bad anyplace other than where it belongs. In my swinger-heavy ficverse, the MMC and group leader’s Rule #1 is no anal activity, period. M-M activity is touching and sucking only, do that “other thing” someplace else. If you go there (another pun!) anyway, you are to all but sterilize whatever touched it or you are banished from the communal hot tub, where most of the hot action is, or at least where it gets started.

 

[AlinaX]

Yeah, the A-to-V in porn always bothers me.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Anal anything is one of my squicks. I’ll click away from anal content immediately (sorry, Em!). Yes, I’ve had a girlfriend or two think that a prostate massage is part of the deal, and I managed to not kick them out of the bed.

My problem is the hygiene aspects. I see a porn flick where the portrayal is oral to vaginal to anal and back to either, and I just want to scream “NO! NO NO NO! Don’t do that!”. However, I understand that porn producers put their actors through all sorts of misery like cleansing colonics, disinfecting procedures, and probably other stuff akin to a colonoscopy prep to protect the persons involved. The bottom (pun!) line is don’t try this at home!

Intestinal flora is bad bad bad anyplace other than where it belongs. In my swinger-heavy ficverse, the MMC and group leader’s Rule #1 is no anal activity, period. M-M activity is touching and sucking only, do that “other thing” someplace else. If you go there (another pun!) anyway, you are to all but sterilize whatever touched it or you are banished from the communal hot tub, where most of the hot action is, or at least where it gets started.

IRL A2V is genrally a very bad idea. To paraphrase Kevin Smith, in the heat of the moment, A2M is fine. I’ve never had a problem (our recent experience with tummy bugs was a thing going round the school of an extended family member).

I seldom do spontaneous anal. I prepare, I have a protocol. I was a research biologist, FFS. Even then, it’s typically just anal and not vaginal. Or it’s V2A and not back again.

In extremis, you can use a condom. Using it for anal might seem logical. But I hate how a condom feels in prolonged anal. It abrades. And also much more likely to get shredded, which defeats the purpose. I’ve done bareback anal to covered vaginal. But not often. As you say, better to be safe.

The other option is rigorous washing. But that can kinda kill the moment 1-1. It actually fits into a group vibe better. Those watching can also clean in between.

TMI, I know.

Emily

PS that’s all IRL I do often reflect anal being last in my stories. But occasionally I play fast and loose with the realities

 

[MrPixel]

I was a research biologist, FFS.

I knew that, and have taken your serious comments on this aspect of intimacy seriously, as well. I appreciate what you offer with this uncomfortable topic.

Well the topic is uncomfortable. The other "comfort" reality is a matter of preference. Or taste. Eww. I said "taste". Ohgawd.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I knew that, and have taken your serious comments on this aspect of intimacy seriously, as well. I appreciate what you offer with this uncomfortable topic.

Well the topic is uncomfortable. The other "comfort" reality is a matter of preference. Or taste. Eww. I said "taste". Ohgawd.

Cool. And - for the avoidance of doubt - my last group was years ago.

Emily

 

[Paul_Chance]

My stories appeal to heterosexual men who know what to expect from their stroke material. However, there are a few things I'd like to change up going forward and I'm 99% sure it'll cause a few readers to flee.

1) My male characters should be just as sexy as my female characters and that'll see me get a bit steamier about how I describe their appearance and the way sex scenes play out.
2) Part of the fun of an MMF threesome (or any other group sex with 2+ guys) is that they're feeding off each other. You can write (and I probably have written) such scenes where the men have zero interaction with each other. They're basically floating penises detached from bodies.
3) Kissing after blowjobs. It happens and there's nothing wrong with it, but I've always purposely avoided it because I had some imaginary commenter in mind.

Okay, so there's all that and then there's point number four and the title of this post... The finger in the bum in instances where the bum in question belongs to a gent. Well, it could be a finger or a tongue or even a toy. Again, the imaginary commenter is shouting at me.

I'm 100% resolved that these things will be included in future stories, but I'm also 100% sure it'll upset maybe a large portion of readers. Maybe I'm wrong...

To what extent are certain people (straight male readers) still averse to this sort of thing?

I mean, there's an episode of the Sopranos where a guy performing oral sex (on his wife)is painted as undermining his masculinity. Sure, some people still think like that, but it feels like it's now a small minority and you certainly won't catch flack for putting a story about it on Lit.

Turn off the imaginary commentator and write the story you want to write, whether it includes prostate play, kissing after blowjobs, or any such activity. We're not writing "how to" manuals. It's fiction.

You may get some negative comments, but then, you could write a perfectly good story and mention something as simple as an opinion of the best car - and someone will take exception to it.

It's fiction. Unleash your imagination with all it's twists and turns.

 

[jsmiam]

It’s human nature for us to think a single comment means the masses are in an uproar. In truth, sometimes we give them too much credence.

I have a finger in a male bum story. It has survived and done no better or worse than anything else.

Similarly, I also have two “not REAL incest” stories, and if you believe what we tell one another here in the AH, a crime like that against the incest audience overlords would incite a mob with torches and pitchforks to come after me. But what really happened was a comment or two. The story and I survived.

It’s not that concerns lamented here or examples of ornery comments aren’t true. It’s just that we may be letting the squeaky wheel commenters have too much space in our heads.

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

I would guess it's a tiny minority of readers who would come across a relatively mainstream sex act they personally didn't like in a story, and then bother to scroll to the end in order to give it a low rating/negative comment. There's some who will, of course, but I would guess most would just click away.

Tangentially, and maybe it's just me, but it seems like having your arse licked by your partner (of any gender or none) is both becoming more popular and doesn't seem to have the same stigma attached. Is it just the penetrative aspect that puts men off?

 

[LMWM321]

... Is it just the penetrative aspect that puts men off?

Like many things, it has misogynist origins.

Most straight men use "cocksucker" and "fucked in the ass" as taunts, put-downs, and references to extreme embarrassment and humiliation. And yet, what do most straight men want?? Their female partner to give them BJ's and receive anal sex. It's as if men want women to crave and enjoy the very two things they have grotesquely demonized forever. So fucked up.

..So yes, this get's internalized so men then feel like having something up their butt is feminizing and humiliating. ..So stupid. ..It feels great. Their loss.

 

[Pabiporffor]

On the back of this let's all reflect on King Charles's prostrate and in particular the poor doctor who drew the short straw to be the one to first shove his finger up the royal rectum.

I'm sure for most doctors it's all in a day's work but still, I bet he spent hours filing his fingernails.

 

[StillStunned]

On the back of this let's all reflect on King Charles's prostrate and in particular the poor doctor who drew the short straw to be the one to first shove his finger up the royal rectum.

I'm sure for most doctors it's all in a day's work but still, I bet he spent hours filing his fingernails.

I actually think it's the other way around: the prostrate is the great equaliser. King or commoner, sooner or later we all have to bend over and grit our teeth while the doctor makes small-talk.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I think, as is often the case, the Lit readership (reflected also in the Lit authors) skews older. Some may think what are pretty common acts nowadays are squick. I’m pretty sure the same happened with BJs the generation before.

Based on the guys I have met intimately (including several older ones) quite few have at least experimented with anal play, if only to add something to masturbation.

Anal play doesn’t make a guy gay. Taking a strap-on doesn’t make a guy gay. And using gay as a middle school pejorative is pretty antediluvian.

Emily

 

[StillStunned]

Anal play doesn’t make a guy gay. Taking a strap-on doesn’t make a guy gay.

I always think it's strange how we let society dictate what we're supposed to like. Sex, more than anything except perhaps food, is supposed to be about self-indulgence. If you're not going to enjoy it, or not going to do the things you enjoy, then why even bother?

 

[Smuttyandfun]

My stories appeal to heterosexual men who know what to expect from their stroke material. However, there are a few things I'd like to change up going forward and I'm 99% sure it'll cause a few readers to flee.

1) My male characters should be just as sexy as my female characters and that'll see me get a bit steamier about how I describe their appearance and the way sex scenes play out.
2) Part of the fun of an MMF threesome (or any other group sex with 2+ guys) is that they're feeding off each other. You can write (and I probably have written) such scenes where the men have zero interaction with each other. They're basically floating penises detached from bodies.
3) Kissing after blowjobs. It happens and there's nothing wrong with it, but I've always purposely avoided it because I had some imaginary commenter in mind.

Okay, so there's all that and then there's point number four and the title of this post... The finger in the bum in instances where the bum in question belongs to a gent. Well, it could be a finger or a tongue or even a toy. Again, the imaginary commenter is shouting at me.

I'm 100% resolved that these things will be included in future stories, but I'm also 100% sure it'll upset maybe a large portion of readers. Maybe I'm wrong...

To what extent are certain people (straight male readers) still averse to this sort of thing?

I mean, there's an episode of the Sopranos where a guy performing oral sex (on his wife)is painted as undermining his masculinity. Sure, some people still think like that, but it feels like it's now a small minority and you certainly won't catch flack for putting a story about it on Lit.

I took a chance in two of my stories, and the readers didn't seem to mind. I didn't get any horrible comments, and the scores didn't really change.

In 'Naughty Little Hook Up Pt. 2' while giving him a BJ she pushes a finger into his butt hole making him gasp and go all 'cave man' on her. One reader even commented:
'DAMN!!
My god that was soooo goood, Thank You and cannot wait for the next Pt.'

In Breeding Bull Ch. 4, in bed with a married couple, the MMC is enjoying the wife when he feels the husband stroking his erection. The husband timidly asks if he can taste him, because he's always been curious. The MMC doesn't mind, and all of them get off on it. Only one reader left a negative comment: 'The brief introduction of homosexual behavior ruined the theme of the story.' Though the other four comments were positive. One even saying: 'I for one don’t mind the fact that her husband sucked him off after the breeding. I kind of enjoyed the straight/bi-tolerant take on it. Really enjoying this series as our bullish protagonist breeds… well everyone it seems.'

I was pleased to see that most of my readers are fairly tolerant and don't mind if I add a little extra kink to a story.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I always think it's strange how we let society dictate what we're supposed to like. Sex, more than anything except perhaps food, is supposed to be about self-indulgence. If you're not going to enjoy it, or not going to do the things you enjoy, then why even bother?

For those of us that believe in a creator, how much sense does it make that something(one) that can create something as wonderous and expansive as our universe really cares who we fuck or how. I'd think they'd/he'd/she's be rather busy with like universe level shit...

And if you don't believe, well that sort of leave your morals open to interpretation, so...

 

[EmilyMiller]

And if you don't believe, well that sort of leave your morals open to interpretation, so...

Morals <> religion

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Morals <> religion

True. There's a whole nother thread about that. Just intending to imply that most societal based ethics ,especially sexual ethics and morals, do tend to be religion based.(Great American Puritan Ethic and all that BS)

Ergo, no religion, ~more fluid morals. YMMV...

 

[djrip]

Like many things, it has misogynist origins.

Most straight men use "cocksucker" and "fucked in the ass" as taunts, put-downs, and references to extreme embarrassment and humiliation. And yet, what do most straight men want?? Their female partner to give them BJ's and receive anal sex. It's as if men want women to crave and enjoy the very two things they have grotesquely demonized forever. So fucked up.

..So yes, this get's internalized so men then feel like having something up their butt is feminizing and humiliating. ..So stupid. ..It feels great. Their loss.

I assume my personal feelings are shared by a fair fraction of those who are wary of being the subject of ass play. Nothing to do with misogyny. Rather, I haven't experienced it, and am fearful. My associations with the concept are prison rape, and painful times I've gone #2. The word pegging evokes the idea of a wooden rod being jammed in there. It all seems quite fraught. I hear it feels good, and I even believe that, on an intellectual level assuming proper technique, but that's hard to imagine on the sensation level. As for BJ's, I'm just straight and not hugely interested, but there's nothing particularly humiliating or unpleasant about the idea unless it's forced.

 

[EroticFriction]

Like many things, it has misogynist origins.

Most straight men use "cocksucker" and "fucked in the ass" as taunts, put-downs, and references to extreme embarrassment and humiliation. And yet, what do most straight men want?? Their female partner to give them BJ's and receive anal sex. It's as if men want women to crave and enjoy the very two things they have grotesquely demonized forever. So fucked up.

..So yes, this get's internalized so men then feel like having something up their butt is feminizing and humiliating. ..So stupid. ..It feels great. Their loss.

In a society so fucked up that the word 'fuck' is negative and insulting... it's no surprise! (see what I did there?)

Don't be such a DICK! What a cunt... fucking pussy. I wonder if it's possible to write a truly erotic story using only sexually derived expletives? Has anyone tried? I can imagine the comment section... Also, I've been instructed to kiss a few dudes' asses on seperate occasions in the past, usually during heated verbal arguments. Wonder how they would've reacted if they got what they were asking for?

Regarding the OP question, I think trying to please everyone or at least 'not offend' anyone is impossible and a losing game. Agree with many posters who say write what you want, ignore those who aren't interested, it doesn't matter. What matters is the readers who like what you write.

Personally coming across a finger up a male butt doesn't turn me off at all, and I'm hetero male with no actual bi experiences. That said, I'm not turned off watching men have sex with women, or even necessarily each other, though I don't seek out male porn or erotica. Hell, I love a girl's finger up my butt, sure way to get me off quickly. And don't even get me started on anal. <3

 

[StillStunned]

The other day I rediscovered a sci-fi story I'd been working on where the male character encounters a pond full of miniature cephalopods that secrete an arousing oil and that have a tendency to... burrow. When I get round to finishing the story, I won't worry about leaving the scene in. It's too hot to cut.