Famous Last Words...For Your Amusement...(or not)

[lesbiaphrodite]

Is it not meningitis?
~~ Louisa M. Alcott, writer, d. 1888

Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "General, I fear the angels are waiting for you."
~~ Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

Nothing, but death.
When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.
~~ Jane Austen, writer, d. July 18, 1817

Codeine . . . bourbon.
~~ Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
~~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, d. 1891

I can't sleep.
~~ James M. Barrie, author, d. 1937

Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy.
~~ Ethel Barrymore, actress, d. June 18, 1959

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
~~ John Barrymore, actor, d. May 29, 1942

I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace.
~~ Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, d.1170

Now comes the mystery.
~~ Henry Ward Beecher, evangelist, d. March 8, 1887

In her new book The Most Famous Man in America, author Debby Applegate writes on page 466 that Beecher's last words in fact were, "You were saying that I could not recover." Ms. Applegate has not been able to confirm the traditional version of Beecher's last words.

Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.
~~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, d. March 26, 1827

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
~~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957

Josephine...
~~ Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor, May 5, 1821

I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct.
~~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, d. 1702

Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.
~~ Johannes Brahms, composer, d. April 3, 1897

Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy.
Spoken to her husband of 9 months, Rev. Arthur Nicholls.
~~ Charlotte Bronte, writer, d. March 31, 1855

Beautiful.
In reply to her husband who had asked how she felt.
~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning, writer, d. June 28, 1861

Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight.
~~ Lord George Byron, writer, d. 1824

Et tu, Brute?
Assassinated.
~~ Gaius Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor, d. 44 BC

I am still alive!
Stabbed to death by his own guards - (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)
~~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, d.41 AD

Don't let poor Nelly (his mistress, Nell Gwynne) starve.
~~ Charles II, King of England and Scotland, d. 1685

Ay Jesus.
~~ Charles V, King of France, d. 1380

I am dying. I haven't drunk champagne for a long time.
~~ Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, writer, d. July 1, 1904

The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won't be buried alive.
Dying of tuberculosis.
~~ Frederic Chopin, composer, d. October 16, 1849

I'm bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

This time it will be a long one.
~~ Georges Clemenceau, French premier, d. 1929

I have tried so hard to do the right.
~~ Grover Cleveland, US President, d. 1908

That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959

Goodnight my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow.
~~ Noel Coward, writer, d. 1973

Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977

That was a great game of golf, fellers.
~~ Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby, singer / actor, d. October 14, 1977

I am not the least afraid to die.
~~ Charles Darwin, d. April 19, 1882

My God. What's happened?
~~ Diana (Spencer), Princess of Wales, d. August 31, 1997

I must go in, the fog is rising.
~~ Emily Dickinson, poet, d. 1886

Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?
Minutes before her plane crashed.
~~ Jessica Dubroff, seven-year-old pilot, d. 1996

Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.
(Farewell, my friends! I go to glory!)
~~ Isadora Duncan, dancer, d. 1927

Please know that I am quite aware of the hazards. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.
Last letter to her husband before her last flight.
KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.
Last radio communiqué before her disappearance.
~~ Amelia Earhart, d. 1937

It is very beautiful over there.
~~ Thomas Alva Edison, inventor, d. October 18, 1931

No, I shall not give in. I shall go on. I shall work to the end.
~~ Edward VII, King of Britain, d. 1910

All my possessions for a moment of time.
~~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

I've never felt better.
~~ Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December 12, 1939

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
~~ Richard Feynman, physicist, d. 1988

I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
~~ Errol Flynn, actor, d. October 14, 1959

A dying man can do nothing easy.
~~ Benjamin Franklin, statesman, d. April 17, 1790

Come my little one, and give me your hand.
Spoken to his daughter, Ottilie.
~~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, writer, d. March 22, 1832

I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.
Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.
~~ Ernesto "Che" Guevara, d. October 9, 1967

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
When asked if he thought dying was tough.
~~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, d. September 6, 1959

God will pardon me, that's his line of work.
~~ Heinrich Heine, poet, d. February 15, 1856

Turn up the lights, I don't want to go home in the dark.
~~ O. Henry (William Sidney Porter), writer, d. June 4, 1910

All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!
~~ Henry VIII, King of England, d. 1547

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
~~ Thomas Hobbes, writer, d. 1679

I see black light.
~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

Oh, do not cry - be good children and we will all meet in heaven.
~~ Andrew Jackson, US President, d. 1845

Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.
Killed in error by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the US Civil War.
~~ General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, d. 1863

Is it the Fourth?
~~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, d. July 4, 1826

Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
From Luke 23:46
~~ Jesus Christ

Does nobody understand?
~~ James Joyce, writer, d. 1941

Why not? Yeah.
~~ Timothy Leary, d. May 31, 1996

Now I have finished with all earthly business, and high time too. Yes, yes, my dear child, now comes death.
~~ Franz Leher, composer, d. October 24, 1948

A King should die standing.
~~ Louis XVIII, King of France, d. 1824

Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?
~~ Louis XIV, King of France, d. 1715

I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.
~~ Louise, Queen of Prussia, d. 1820

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.
~~ Walter De La Mare, writer, d. 1956

Let's cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966

Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883

I forgive everybody. I pray that everybody may also forgive me, and my blood which is about to be shed will bring peace to Mexico. Long live Mexico! Long Live Independence!
~~ Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico, (Archduke Maximilian of Austria), d. June 11, 1867

Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
~~ Louis B. Mayer, film producer, d. October 29, 1957

It's all been very interesting.
~~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writer, d. 1762

I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.
~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953

Good-bye . . . why am I hemorrhaging?
~~ Boris Pasternak, writer, d. 1959

Get my swan costume ready.
~~ Anna Pavlova, ballerina, d. 1931

I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven.
Giving his reasons for refusing to see a priest as he lay dying.
~~ Pietro Perugino, Italian painter, d. 1523

Lord help my poor soul.
~~ Edgar Allan Poe, writer, d. October 7, 1849

I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.
~~ James K. Polk, US President, d. 1849

Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.
~~ Alexander Pope, writer, d. May 30, 1744

I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.
~~ François Rabelais, writer, d. 1553

I have a terrific headache.
He died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
~~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, d. 1945

Put out the light.
~~ Theodore Roosevelt, US President, d. 1919

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
Spoken to his nurse.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . .
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

Moose . . . Indian . . .
~~ Henry David Thoreau, writer, d. May 6, 1862

God bless... God damn.
~~ James Thurber, humorist, d. 1961

I feel here that this time they have succeeded.
~~ Leon Trotsky, Russian revolutionary, d. 1940

Don't worry chief, it will be alright.
~~ Rudolph Valentino, actor, d. August 23, 1926

Woe is me. Me thinks I'm turning into a god.
~~ Vespasian, Roman Emperor, d. 79 AD

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
~~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary, d. 1923

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

I die hard but am not afraid to go.
~~ George Washington, US President, d. December 14, 1799

Go away. I'm all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

I am ready.
~~ Woodrow Wilson, US President, d. 1924

Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!
~~ Florenz Ziegfeld, showman, d. July 22, 1932

 

[The_Fractal_King]

I am still alive!
Stabbed to death by his own guards - (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)
~~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, d.41 AD

I'm so stealing that one.

 

[rgraham666]

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dis…"

General John Sedgwick at the Battle of Spotsylvania.

 

[impressive]

I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.
~~ James K. Polk, US President, d. 1849

*swoon*

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

Overall, though I smiled at several, these made me quite sad.

 

[oggbashan]

King George V:

Official Last Words - "How is The Empire?"

Real Last Words (in response to a suggestion that he should convalesce at Bognor Regis) "Bugger Bognor!"

Og

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

And, some famous suicide notes:

And so I leave this world, where the heart must either break or turn to lead.
Suicide note.
~~ Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort, French writer, d. 1794

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney, for Frances for her life will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.
Suicide note.
~~ Kurt Cobain, musician, d. April 8, 1994

Goodbye, everybody!
Last words as he jumped off the cruise ship "Orizaba." (His body was never found.)
~~ Hart Crane, poet, d. April 27, 1932

To my friends: My work is done. Why wait?
Suicide note.
~~ George Eastman, inventor, d. March 14, 1932

Goodbye, my friend, goodbye
My love, you are in my heart.
It was preordained we should part
And be reunited by and by.
Goodbye: no handshake to endure.
Let's have no sadness -- furrowed brow.
There's nothing new in dying now
Though living is no newer.
Written in his own blood, and given to a friend the day before he hanged himself.
~~ Sergei Esenin, Russian poet, d. Dec. 28, 1925

When all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.
Suicide note.
~~ Charlotte Perkins Gilman, writer, d. August 17, 1935
( As an advocate for the right-to-die, Gilman committed suicide on August 17, 1935 by taking an overdose of chloroform. She "chose chloroform over cancer.")

Lets see if this will do it.
Accidental suicide as he shot himself with a blank-loaded pistol on the set of TV spy show "Cover Up." The concussion forced a chunk of his skull into his brain; he died six days later.
~~ Jon Erik Hexum, actor, d. October 18, 1984

All fled--all done, so lift me on the pyre;
The feast is over, and the lamps expire.
Suicide note.
~~ Robert E. Howard, writer, d. June 11, 1936

And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you're about to see another first - an attempted suicide.
Shot herself during broadcast.
~~ Chris Chubbuck, newscaster, d. July 15, 1974

Don't worry, it's not loaded.
Suicide playing Russian roulette.
~~ Terry Kath, rock musician, d. January 23, 1978

They tried to get me - I got them first!
Suicide by drinking Lysol.
~~ Vachel Lindsay, poet, d. December 4, 1931

I must end it. There's no hope left. I'll be at peace. No one had anything to do with this. My decision totally.
Suicide note.
~~ Freddie Prinze, comedian, d. January 29, 1977

Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool - good luck.
Suicide note.
~~ George Sanders, British actor, d. April 25, 1972

When I am dead, and over me bright April
Shakes out her rain drenched hair,
Tho you should lean above me broken hearted,
I shall not care.
For I shall have peace.
As leafey trees are peaceful
When rain bends down the bough.
And I shall be more silent and cold hearted
Than you are now.
Suicide note to her lover who left her.
~~ Sara Teasdale, poet, d. 1933

"Football Season Is Over."
No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax This won't hurt.
Hunter left the note for his wife, Anita. He shot himself four days later at his home in Aspen, Colo., after weeks of pain from a host of physical problems that included a broken leg and a hip replacement.
~~ Hunter S. Thompson, author, d. 20 February, 2005
The writer's ashes were blown into the sky in Woody Creek, Colo., amid fireworks on Aug. 20.

To Harald, may God forgive you and forgive me too but I prefer to take my life away and our baby's before I bring him with shame or killing him, Lupe.
Suicide note.
~~ Lupe Velez, actress, d. December 13, 1944

The future is just old age and illness and pain.... I must have peace and this is the only way.
Suicide note.
~~ James Whale, film director, d. May 29, 1957

I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time.
Suicide note.
~~ Wendy O. Williams, punk rock performer, d. April 6, 1998

I feel certain that I'm going mad again. I feel we can't go thru another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices
Suicide note
~~ Virginia Woolf, author, d. March 28, 1941

 

[rgraham666]

When all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.

That's how I felt when I tried to kill myself.

I was wrong. Better to die with steel in your teeth than in your back.

 

[only_more_so]

A while ago I was on a last words collection binge. I even found a webpage that collected the last words spoken by people going about to be executed. I refrained from collecting those.

Here are some others:

"I have looked for you. Now you have come to me. And I thank you."
-Pope John Paul II

"Thomas Jefferson--still surv..."
-John Adams (Jefferson actually died a few hours earlier)

"This is the last of earth! I am content."
-John Quincy Adams

"See in what peace a Christian can die."
-Joseph Addison

"I desire to leave to the men that come after me a remembrance of me in good works."
-King Alfred the Great (849-901)


"I'm bored. I'm bored."
-Gabriele D'Annunzo (1863-1938)


"Farewell, my children, forever. I go to your Father."
-Marie Antoinette


"Forgive me sir, I did not do it on purpose."
-Marie Antoinette (after stepping on her executioner's foot)

"Wait 'till I have finished my problem!"
-Archimedes of Syracuse (298-212 B.C.)


"Don't disturb my circles!"
-Archimedes of Syracuse (298-212 B.C.)

"Now I'm oiled. Keep me from the rats."
-Pietro Aretino (1492-1556) Italien Satirist


"The ladies have to go first. . . . Get in the lifeboat, to please me. . . . Good-bye, dearie. I'll see you later."
-John Jacob Astor IV (Millionaire died on Titanic)

"Ah, Luisa, you always arrive just as I am leaving."
-Massimo Taparelli Azeglio


"Only from the cold, my friend."
-Jean Sylvain Bailly (1736-1793) after being heckled for shivering when approaching the guillotine)

"I can't sleep."
-James M. Barrie, author (1937)

"You heard me, Mike"
-John Barrymore (the other quote is attributed)

"For the name of Jesus and the protection of the church I am ready to embrace death."
-Thomas Becket (alternate)

"So little done, so much to do."
-Alexander Grahame Bell


"No."
-Alexander Graham Bell (written responce to wife's "Don't leave me.")

"Oh God, have pity on my soul. Oh God, have pity on my soul."
-Anne Boleyn


"The executioner is, I believe, very expert, and my neck is very slender."
-Anne Boleyn (attributed) spoken the day before her execution

"Who is it?"
-William H. Bonney (Billy the Kid) then shot by Pat Garrett


"Tell mother, tell mother, I died for my country. . . . useless . . . useless . . ."
-John Wilkes Booth

"Oh Lord, forgive the misprints! "
-Andrew Bradford, american book-publisher

"I lingered around them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how anyone could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth."
-Emily Bronte

Now, God be with you, my dear children. I have breakfasted with you and shall sup with my Lord Jesus Christ."
-Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland (1274-1329)


"Whatever the result may be, I shall carry to my grave the consciousness that at least I meant well for my country."
-James Buchanan


"I don't feel good."
-Luther Burbank

"The South! The poor South! God knows what will become of her."
-John Calhoun


"One sweetly solemn though comes to me over and over, I am nearer to home today than I have ever been before."
-Phoebe Care (Poetess)


"I have lived as a philosopher and die as a Christian."
-Giacomo Cassanovo


"Mine eyes desire thee only. Farewell."
-Catherine of Aragon


"Why not? After all, it belongs to him."
-Charles (Charlie) Chaplin (responce to "May god have mercy on your soul")


"And so I leave this world, where the heart must either break or turn to lead."
-Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort, French writer, - suicide note

"Stay for the sign."
-King Charles I (to the executioner)


"I have been a most unconscionable time dying, but I beg you to excuse it."
-King Charles II (alternate)

"Higher, ever higher"
-Georges Chavez, last words after crashing his Bleriot airplane on his trailblazing flight over the Alps


"It's been a long time since I've had champagne"
-Anton Chekhov (alternative)


"Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way."
-Erskine Childers (shot by firing squad)


"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
-Winston Churchill (alternate)

"What an irreparable loss!"
-Auguste Comte

"Goodbye, Everybody!"
-Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard from a steamship.


"I see Heaven open and Jesus on the right hand of God."
-Thomas Cranmer, Archbiship of Canterbury (1489-1556)


"My design is to make what haste I can to be gone."
-Oliver Cromwell


"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset."
-Crowfoot, Blackfoot warior and orator


"You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother."
-Francis "Two Gun" Crowley (execution)


"Nurse, it was I who discovered that leeches have red blood."
-Baron Georges Cuvier (when nurse went to apply leeches)


"I killed the President because he was the enemy of the good people, the good working people. I am not sorry for my crime."
-Leon Czolgosz (1873-1902)


"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing."
-Georges Danton


"Be strong and of good courage; fear not or be dismayed; for the Lord, even my God, will be with thee. He will not fail thee, till thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord."
-King David (1015 BC)


"That guy's got to stop. . . . He'll see us."
-James Dean


"I am mortally wounded, I think"
-Stephan Decatur


"Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us."
-Jacques DeMolay (Leader of the Knights Templar, roasted alive)


"Death is a law and not a punishment. Three things ought to console us for giving up life; the friends whom we have lost, the few persons worth of being loved whom we leave behind us, and finally the memory of our stupidities and the assurance that they are now going to stop."
-John Baptiste Dubois (1670-1742)


"I think you're right, Wyatt. I can't see a god damn thing. "
-Morgan Earp (accepting his brother's belief there is no life after Death)


"My work is done. Why wait ?"
-George Eastman (suicide note)

"There is only one important question: Is the universe friendly?"
-Albert Einstein


"I've always loved my wife, my children, and my grandchildren, and I've always loved my country. I want to go. God, take me"
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life."
-George Engel (hung for 1886 bombing in Chicago)


"Wonderful, wonderful this death."
-William Etty


"I die."
-Leonhard Euler (1707-1783)

"It is nothing. It is nothing."
-Archduke Franz Ferdinand

"The nourishment is palatable."
-Millard Fillmore

"I feel nothing, apart from a certain difficulty in continuing to exist."
-Bernard de Fontenelle (French Philosopher)


"Farewell, my children; remain always in the fear of the Lord. That temptation and tribulation which is to come is now at hand and happy shall they who persevere in the good they have begun. I hasten to go to our Lord, to whose grace I recommend you."
-Saint Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)


"A dying man can do nothing easy."
-Benjamin Franklin (his daughter asked him to change position in his bed)


"No, not quite naked. I shall have my uniform on."
-Frederick William I (King of Prussia)


"Why fear death? It is the most beautiful adventure in life."
-Charles Frohman


"Swain, can't you stop this (pain)? Swain!"
-James A. Garfield (1831-1881)


"Win one for the Gipper!"
-George Gipp


"Open the second shutter so that more light may come in."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


"More Light!"
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


"Water"
-Ulysses S. Grant


"Glory hallelujah! I am with the Lord, Glory, ready, go!"
-Charles Guiteau (1841-1882) Garfield's assassin


"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country."
-Nathan Hale (Attributed)


"It is the duty of every good officer to obey any orders given him by his commander-in-chief."
-Nathan Hale (Actual)


"I shall look forward to a pleasant time."
-John Hancock


"That's good.... read some more."
-Warren Harding


"I wish you to understand the true principles of government. I wish them carried out. I ask nothing more."
-William H. Harrison


"Cheer up, children, I am all right."
-Franz Joseph Haydn


"I know that I am going where Lucy is."
-Rutherford B. Hayes


"Well, I've had a happy life."
-William Hazlitt


"Write . . . write . . . pencil . . . paper."
-Heinrich Heine


"Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son m tier." (God will forgive me. It's his job.)
-Heinrich Heine


"I will ask Him why there is turbulence."
-Werner Heisenburg

"If Mr Selwyn [a political rival] calls again, show him up. If I am alive I shall be delighted to see him, and if I am dead he would like to see me"
-Lord Holland 1774


"This is funny."
-John Henry "Doc" Holliday (1851-1887)


"Oh holy simplicity."
-John Huss, at the stake


"On the contrary."
-Henrik Ibsen (after nurse told visitor he was feeling better)

"Hold the cross high so I may see it through the flames!"
-Joan of Arc (1412-1431)


"This is it! I'm going. I'm going."
-Al Jolson


"Does nobody understand?"
-James Joyce


"Let's have a really good red wine tonight."
-Carl Jung


"Kill me, or else you are a murderer!"
-Franz Kafka


"Such is life"
-Ned Kelly


"That's obvious."
-John F. Kennedy


"What we know is not much; what we do not know is immense."
-Pierre Simon Marquis de Laplace


"We shall this day light such a candle by God's grace in England, as I trust shall never be put out"
-Hugh Latimer, Bishop being burnt at the stake.


"Tell the men to fire faster and not to give up the ship; fight her till she sinks."
-James Lawrence (Captain of the Cheasapeake)


"Strike the tent."
-Robert E. Lee


(Laughter)
-Abraham Lincoln (laughing at the play he was watching)


"I wonder why he shot me? "
-Huey P. Long (Govenor of Louisiana)


"Has God forgotten everything I've done for him ?"
-King Louis XIV (attributed)

"Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?"
-King Louis XIV (actual)

"I desire to go to hell and not to heaven. In the former I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes, while in the latter are only beggars, monks and apostles"
-Niccolo Machiavelli


"Nothing more than a change of mind, my dear."
-James Madison


"Let's cool it brothers . . ."
-Malcolm X.


"Is this dying? Is this all? Is this what I feared when I prayed against a hard death? Oh, I can bear this! I can bear this!"
-Cotton Mather


"No, but comfortable enough to die."
-Maria Theresa, Empress of Austria (1717-1780)


"Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped."
-Groucho Marx


"We are all going."
-William B. McKinley


"It's God's way. His will, not ours, be done."
-William McKinley


"The heart beats . . . . Nothing ever dies."
-John Cary Merrick (the Elephant Man)


"Why should I talk to you? I've just been talking to your boss."
-Wilson Mizner (to a priest at bedside)


"It's all been very interesting."
-Lady Mary Wortley Montagu


"This hath not offended the king."
-Sir Thomas More (at his execution)


"Oh Allah, be it so."
-Mohammed


"Josephine."
-Napolean


"I do not have to forgive my enemies, I have had them all shot."
-Ramon Maria Narvaez (Spainish General when asked by a priest if he forgave his enemies)


"God bless you, Hardy."
-Admiral Horatio Nelson


"Sergeant, the Spanish bullet isn't made that will kill me."
-William "Buckey" O'Neill


"Let me think... I wonder if an anvil will drop like an apple? "
-Sir Isaac Newton (attributed)


"I do not know what I seem to the world, but to myself I appear to have been like a boy playing upon the seashore and diverting myself and then finding a smoother pebble or prettier shell than ordinary, while the great ocean of truth lay before me all undiscovered."
-Sir Issac Newton


"I am just going outside and may be some time."
-Captain Lawrence Oates (was lost in a blizzard)


"Give back everything to.... "
-Peter the Great


"Drink to me."
-Pablo Picasso


"Oh, my country! how I leave my country!"
-William Pitt

"I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you."
-James Polk (to his wife)


"I never realized that dying was such a social occasion."
-Mario Puzo


"Don't disarrange my circles!"
-Pythagoras


"I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor."
-Francois Rabelais (French satirist) (attributed)

"I am going to seek a great perhaps."
-Francois Rabelais


"Bring down the curtain, the farce is played out."
-Francois Rabelais


"'Tis a sharp remedy, but a sure one for all ills."
-Sir Walter Raleigh (at his execution)


"I have a long journey to take, and must bid the company farewell."
-Sir Walter Raleigh (attributed)


"So the heart be right, it is no matter which way the head lieth."
-Sir Walter Raleigh (at his execution)


"I am still progressing."
-Pierre Auguste Renoir (French Painter)


"So little done, so much to do"
-Cecil Rhodes


"What's the hurry? Are you afraid I won't come back?"
-Manfred von Richthofen (Red Baron)

"If it had not been for these things I might live out my life talking at street corners to scorning men. I might have died unmarked, a failure, unknown. Now we are not a failure. This is our career and our triumph. Never in our full life could we hope to do such work for tolerance, for justice and for man's understanding of man."
-Nicola Sacco (anarchist)


"Better is the sinner who hath thoughts about God, than the saint who hath only the show of sanctity."
-Sadi (Persian Poet)


"Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what?"
-William Saroyan


"Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored. I am leaving you with your worries. Good luck."
-George Saunders


"Had we lived, I should have had a tale to tell of the hardihood, endurance, and courage of my companions which would have stirred the heart of every Englishman. These rough notes and our dead bodies must tell the tale, but surely, surely, a great rich country like ours will see that those who are dependent on us are properly provided for. R. Scott"
-Captain Robert Falcon Scott (Leader of ill-fated South Pole Expedition)

"Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?"
-Socrates


"What is the answer?...[Silence]...In that case, what is the question?"
-Gertrude Stein


"If this is death, I don't think much of it."
-Lytton Strachey


"Please don't let me fall."
-Mary Surratt (Hanged for Lincoln's assassination)


"Ah, a German and a genius ! A prodigy, admit him !"
-Jonathan Swift (Upon learning of the arrival of Handel)


"I am about to die. iexpect the summons very soon. I have tried to discharge my duties faithfully.I regret nothing, but I am sorry to leave my friends."
-Zachary Taylor


"God bless... God damn."
-James Thurber


"Even in the valley of the shadow of death, two and two do not make six."
-Leo Tolstoy


"I feel here that this time they have succeeded."
-Leon Trotsky


"Doctor, I am going. . . . Perhaps it is best."
-John Tyler

"I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only half a million."
-William H. Vanderbilt


"All right, then, I'll say it, Dante makes me sick."
-Lope Felix de Vega Carpio


"The doctor says I won't make it home for the celebration." (refering to his grandparent's golden anniversary)
-Robert Wadlow (World's tallest Human)


"I am fond of them, of the inferior beings of the abyss, of those who are full of longing."
-Richard Wagner


"I die hard but am not afraid to go."
-George Washington

"Tis well"
-George Washington


"I still live."
-Daniel Webster


"I have struggled with many difficulties. Some I have been able to overcome and by some I have been overcome. I have made many mistakes but I love my country and have labored for the youth of my country, and I trust no precept of mine has taught any dear youth to sin."
-Noah Webster


"Go away...I'm alright."
-H. G. Wells


"Oh dear, he's a good fellow."
-Walt Whitman


"Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means."
-Oscar Wilde (attributed?)


"Either that wallpaper goes or I do."
-Oscar Wilde (attributed)


"I haven't got time to be tired."
-Wilhelm I King of Prussia


"Wally, what is this? It is death, my boy: they have deceived me"
-King William IV

"Amen"
-Brigham Young

 

[fifty5]

Threadjack...

What would you like your own last words to be?

Mine (if I'm capable of so much): At last, knowing I'm going to sleep through - and that I won't have to get up tomorrow thinking about what I should be doing, but probably won't.

 

[impressive]

Threadjack...

What would you like your own last words to be?

"That's it? Damn!"

 

[The_Fractal_King]

Threadjack...

What would you like your own last words to be?

Aaarrghh!

 

[rgraham666]

I'm thinking a last gesture rather than last words.

 

[fifty5]

I'm thinking a last gesture rather than last words.

As in, "go forth and multiply"?

 

[TE999]

Threadjack...

What would you like your own last words to be?

Mine (if I'm capable of so much): At last, knowing I'm going to sleep through - and that I won't have to get up tomorrow thinking about what I should be doing, but probably won't.

"If you could satisfy her I wouldn't be here."

Spoken to a jealous husband waving a gun.

 

[shereads]

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

I've always loved this one.

 

[colddiesel]

Henry Temple Viscount Palmerston1865 British Prime Minister .

"Die my dear Doctor. That's the last thing I shall do"

 

[oggbashan]

A while ago I was on a last words collection binge. I even found a webpage that collected the last words spoken by people going about to be executed. I refrained from collecting those.

Here are some others:

"Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means."
-Oscar Wilde (attributed?)

That Oscar Wilde quote comes from R H Sherard's Life of Oscar Wilde Chapter 18. Oscar was told the fee for an operation.

Og

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

One of my favorites:

I see black light.
~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

 

[Guest]

"Why yes — a bulletproof vest." — James Rodges on his final request before the firing squad.

"How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper ? French fries." — James French, executed in electric chair in Oklahoma, 1966.

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies." — Voltaire (1694-1778), on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan

 

[rengadeirishman]

"I have looked down the muzzles of too many guns in the South African war to fear death and now please carry out your sentence."

John MacBride, irish nationalist, executed by firing squad for his role in the easter rising.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Dean, James (1931-1955) "My fun days are over." (Shortly before his fatal car crash.)

 

[oggbashan]

Wilson Mizner:

Told that his death was only a few hours away, rallied strength to send a postcard notifying a friend. "They're burying me at 9 AM," wrote Mizner. "Don't be a sucker and get up."

Coming out of a coma shortly before his death, he waved a priest away disdainfully. "Why should I talk to you?" he said. "I've just been talking to your boss."

"I want a priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant clergyman. I want to hedge my bets."

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Wilson Mizner:

Told that his death was only a few hours away, rallied strength to send a postcard notifying a friend. "They're burying me at 9 AM," wrote Mizner. "Don't be a sucker and get up."

Coming out of a coma shortly before his death, he waved a priest away disdainfully. "Why should I talk to you?" he said. "I've just been talking to your boss."

"I want a priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant clergyman. I want to hedge my bets."

That rawks!

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Stein, Gertrude (1874-1946) "Just before she [Stein] died she asked, `What _is_ the answer?' No answer came. She laughed and said, `In that case what is the question?' Then she died."

 

[shereads]

I'd like my last words to be, "That was the best sex ever. These snickerdoodles aren't bad, either..."