Dear X:

Rocket Man

Dear Polina,

I think of myself as a writer/poet but I find myself struggling for the words I want to say to you.

I am delighted that you chose to spend your month's vacation with me in Moscow.... It would truly have been a much more lonely and unhappy place without you.

We are friends. We have always been "friends"... but "friends with priviledges" as I have heard it called.. and oh the "priviledges" have been fine, if uneven.

I have suffered with you as you gave yourself to your wholly unworthy b/f and rejoiced (for you) when you finally had enough and left him a few month's back.

And for the entire time I have known you, I have been overwhelmed by your honesty. I do not think I have ever met someone as honest as you... at times your honesty has hurt me and rarely, I am ashamed to admit, has it been met with honesty from me, at least to the incredibly high standard you operate at.

And then, for the last month or so, (and for the first time since I have known you) I found myself living with you.

It has been incredible. I have had fun... and great sex. But I have also had to confront my own insecurities... My own dishonesty.... My jealousies.... and through it all I have learned so much from you in such a short time....

I struggle to keep you only a "friend".

And of all the things that we have done.... there is that charming daily routine we have established.

Each evening, either when I return from work or we return from having eaten dinner.... the quick shower and laying naked together. For the first few weeks, it was just for the sex.... usually endlessly slow and sensous.. occasionally raw and passionate... inevitably satisfying...

But now... we first just lay there and discuss things... life... us... other people... Being naked allows me to shed my pretensions along with my clothes... and seek to find that honest place you dwell in....

Your candor in wanting to meet some man your own or similar age with whom to have a life... well that I have no trouble accepting. On the contrary, it makes me happy to think of you happy for the rest of your life...

Your candor in wanting to meet with one or two men you have met here who may meet this goal(but for now just pass that "I like the way he looks" test) well.... that has been hard for me. I keep telling you I am just a man and it is humiliating and painful to contemplate and watch... "jealousy" I think it is called. And me, just a "friend".

And so it was a couple days ago, when this great green monster came crashing down on me and I wanted to know who and what your were texting.... You told me... (how could you not, my honest friend?) but it did not make you like me more.

Two nights ago I could not sleep... that jealous pain (you were not horny that night either) (so our "naked" time did not include any sex to.. satisfaction) just triggered all the problems which raced around my brain for endless hours until I finally collapsed in exhaustion an hour or two before I arose for work.

Yesterday... was bad.... tired... afraid.... but finally I just accepted that you will only be with me if you choose to. I cannot make you.... I can only ask you not to embarass me.

And then last evening... we lay naked and talked... and talked.... and touched.... and touched.... and made love for what seemed hours... until at last I came as hard as I have cum for years... and then, after I caught my old breath... brought you to yet one more... and it brought me peace.

Well.... I am rambling, obviously..... but I just want to say....

Thank you. For choosing to spend your vacation with me...and healing me... all at the same time.

-KC
 
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Dear Medical Staff at _______ hospital:

When you know we are ready for the end to come, why will you not give us any answers?

Why will you not share in what you THINK may be happening? We know you aren't GOD so why don't you let us in on what you THINK may take place?

It has been three weeks of unanswered questions, and because it is a holiday weekend, you think it's best to take off and leave us hanging for yet another 4 days?

Ultrasounds, CAT scans, blood work and her losing conciousness still hasn't provided you with enough info to share a bit of what you are thinking to at least put us at ease to know she will pass sooner than later?

I know with government cut backs you had to remove beds from the hospital, and cut nursing staff, but what about training nursing staff on how to deal with alzheimers patients? Is it up to family to care for them night and day to may your day easier? It seems to me we pay the same taxes as everyone else why do we not get the same care for our loved ones as everyone else?

We have told you for three weeks she is not eating and is having difficulties swallowing, why do you continually try to give her PILLS? I asked if her meds can be given by needle, you said yes, so why aren't you doing that? By the time she figures out what you are doing, the needle is over with and she has what she needs.

Why is it that it seems as though you are pushing away the enevitable and letting us linger on what we think may happen so you can save money on providing proper drugs and service to my Mother in law?

Why when she hasn't ate in almost a month now will you NOT give her an IV?
Telling me she will pull it out is not an answer, you can place it in a positon where she can't reach it and still provide her with fluids so she isn't starving to death!

Why were you ever given a medical license in the first place?

Truly angered and hurt,
SC (please ignore the spelling errors, it has been a long night!)
 
Dear Medical Staff at _______ hospital:

When you know we are ready for the end to come, why will you not give us any answers?

Why will you not share in what you THINK may be happening? We know you aren't GOD so why don't you let us in on what you THINK may take place?

It has been three weeks of unanswered questions, and because it is a holiday weekend, you think it's best to take off and leave us hanging for yet another 4 days?

Ultrasounds, CAT scans, blood work and her losing conciousness still hasn't provided you with enough info to share a bit of what you are thinking to at least put us at ease to know she will pass sooner than later?

I know with government cut backs you had to remove beds from the hospital, and cut nursing staff, but what about training nursing staff on how to deal with alzheimers patients? Is it up to family to care for them night and day to may your day easier? It seems to me we pay the same taxes as everyone else why do we not get the same care for our loved ones as everyone else?

We have told you for three weeks she is not eating and is having difficulties swallowing, why do you continually try to give her PILLS? I asked if her meds can be given by needle, you said yes, so why aren't you doing that? By the time she figures out what you are doing, the needle is over with and she has what she needs.

Why is it that it seems as though you are pushing away the enevitable and letting us linger on what we think may happen so you can save money on providing proper drugs and service to my Mother in law?

Why when she hasn't ate in almost a month now will you NOT give her an IV?
Telling me she will pull it out is not an answer, you can place it in a positon where she can't reach it and still provide her with fluids so she isn't starving to death!

Why were you ever given a medical license in the first place?

Truly angered and hurt,
SC (please ignore the spelling errors, it has been a long night!)
:rose: :rose: * hugs* :rose: :rose:
 
Dear Medical Staff at _______ hospital:

When you know we are ready for the end to come, why will you not give us any answers?

Why will you not share in what you THINK may be happening? We know you aren't GOD so why don't you let us in on what you THINK may take place?

It has been three weeks of unanswered questions, and because it is a holiday weekend, you think it's best to take off and leave us hanging for yet another 4 days?

Ultrasounds, CAT scans, blood work and her losing conciousness still hasn't provided you with enough info to share a bit of what you are thinking to at least put us at ease to know she will pass sooner than later?

I know with government cut backs you had to remove beds from the hospital, and cut nursing staff, but what about training nursing staff on how to deal with alzheimers patients? Is it up to family to care for them night and day to may your day easier? It seems to me we pay the same taxes as everyone else why do we not get the same care for our loved ones as everyone else?

We have told you for three weeks she is not eating and is having difficulties swallowing, why do you continually try to give her PILLS? I asked if her meds can be given by needle, you said yes, so why aren't you doing that? By the time she figures out what you are doing, the needle is over with and she has what she needs.

Why is it that it seems as though you are pushing away the enevitable and letting us linger on what we think may happen so you can save money on providing proper drugs and service to my Mother in law?

Why when she hasn't ate in almost a month now will you NOT give her an IV?
Telling me she will pull it out is not an answer, you can place it in a positon where she can't reach it and still provide her with fluids so she isn't starving to death!

Why were you ever given a medical license in the first place?

Truly angered and hurt,
SC (please ignore the spelling errors, it has been a long night!)

:rose: I hope you find someone you can deal with to ease this time.
 
Dear Medical Staff at _______ hospital:

When you know we are ready for the end to come, why will you not give us any answers?

Why will you not share in what you THINK may be happening? We know you aren't GOD so why don't you let us in on what you THINK may take place?

It has been three weeks of unanswered questions, and because it is a holiday weekend, you think it's best to take off and leave us hanging for yet another 4 days?

Ultrasounds, CAT scans, blood work and her losing conciousness still hasn't provided you with enough info to share a bit of what you are thinking to at least put us at ease to know she will pass sooner than later?

I know with government cut backs you had to remove beds from the hospital, and cut nursing staff, but what about training nursing staff on how to deal with alzheimers patients? Is it up to family to care for them night and day to may your day easier? It seems to me we pay the same taxes as everyone else why do we not get the same care for our loved ones as everyone else?

We have told you for three weeks she is not eating and is having difficulties swallowing, why do you continually try to give her PILLS? I asked if her meds can be given by needle, you said yes, so why aren't you doing that? By the time she figures out what you are doing, the needle is over with and she has what she needs.

Why is it that it seems as though you are pushing away the enevitable and letting us linger on what we think may happen so you can save money on providing proper drugs and service to my Mother in law?

Why when she hasn't ate in almost a month now will you NOT give her an IV?
Telling me she will pull it out is not an answer, you can place it in a positon where she can't reach it and still provide her with fluids so she isn't starving to death!

Why were you ever given a medical license in the first place?

Truly angered and hurt,
SC (please ignore the spelling errors, it has been a long night!)

* Hugs * :rose:
 
Dear niblet/padawan,

I just wanted to let you know that you're doing better than I thought you would, and that makes me happy. You learn fast, with the exception of punctuation, but that's okay. I can drill that into your head eventually. Or, I could just stay as your editor. Either way. But regardless of everything, I'm proud of you.

D.
 
Dear Concreting Contractor,

Hey, buddy, remember me? I'm the one you were going to supply a quote for three weeks ago.
It's not like you have to go far out of your way to do it, we only live 500m away from you.
But then, you haven't been home for a week, have you?
C'mon mate, you're new in town, trying to build up business; I got two glowing references for you, but you're screwing it up right now.
So, how about you get in touch with me, eh? I'd ring you only I don't have your number.
cheers
the woman up the road waiting for her shed slab.
 
Dear Dad

Just... fuck off. I'm tired of it.

Did I ask her to take out two loans? No.
Did I ask her to give me money? No.
Did I ask her to pay for the carpet in my front room? No.
Did I ask her to buy my shopping? No. Half the time she pitched up on my bloody doorstep with it and wouldn't take no for an answer!

And, how DARE you speak to me the way you did on Thursday? I'm sick of you assuming any mail I get is a final fucking demand. It was my yearly update from the Student Loan Company, who I'm ALLOWED to be in hock with you dickhead.

Also, how fucking dare you TELL me I have to give whatever cash I can spare to my mother. How about no? If I wanted to be really mercenary, I could just say that its her own fault for getting into this situation, but its not. Its quite a bit of yours too. Besides, we have no spare income, save for the tiny amount we were trying to put by for a holiday before I take leave of my sanity again.

Come live in my shoes for a week, then drop that shit on me.

Edited to add: No matter how many people think it, I'm not indestructable. My joints are agony, my knee is knackered, I'm exhausted and insomniac and my hair is now no longer falling out a little at a time, but in big fuckoff clumps.
 
Dear grillin' and chillin' neighbors:

I think that meat is done, folks. Seriously. I feel like I'm at Auschwitz.

Hint: When it turns black and smokes, it's DONE. K?

Thanks,

The bitch next door
 
Dear Lit,

Will you all stop going on about trolls please? It's making me really hate them - not because of what they do on forums, but because it's all I ever fucking hear about on Lit these days, and it's doing my head in.

Yours,

Zade
 
To my ex-fiance; to my moon-and-stars:

In some ways, it's actually a relief to not have to worry about your influence on my life. I can resume work on The First Ninety Days, for instance, which is a story I believe in and want to get out there. Ironically, I think you might've supported it had you ever read the finished version.

The fact that I'm relieved to be shut of you is probably a bad sign for our now-aborted marriage.

Having said that, I've changed since then. I had a major bout of personal evolution coming out of that post-Thanksgiving break-up, the second-largest of my life, and I've made improvements to my personality which I think were a long time in coming. Now I have confidence, for instance. The man I am today might not be attracted to you; he certainly wouldn't marry you. But the man of Before was, and would have; and the man of Today will always regret that he never had the chance to love you for the rest of his life.

And yet the man of Today sees much more clearly as well. You may recall that, after we were caught and your parents cut us off for six weeks, the first thing I asked was whether you would be prepared to choose me over them. I asked not just because of the palpable and voluminous hostility they directed at me; I asked because I knew, though I never said it, that I would want you to abandon some of the values they represented. Christianity I would have been (and was) fine with; but their emphasis on ignoring the truth in favor of their safe and pleasant fantasies; their refusal to let you spread your wings and think for yourself, like the mature, intelligent, over-18 woman you are; their willingness to hurt you and compromise your future simply to increase their own feeble levels of sanity--these were things you absorbed with your mother's milk, and the possibility existed that one day I would have to fight you over them, force you to abandon them. Because, good heavens, woman: no matter how much I love you, I would not let you hurt any children of ours the way your folks and mine hurt us. Not even the direct word of God could make me let you do that.

And so when you reminded me that I am a non-Christian heathen and, for that reason, you can never marry me, what I heard was that you would rather turn back to your parents and their broken values than learn and grow and cast yourself free with me. And, honestly, I don't think you would have been happy had I forced you from that rut. Those values, broken as they might be, are too important to you. And I would never have wanted you to sacrifice your integrity to be with me; I'm not worth that. And yet, then, how would we have been happy?--either I would get my way and you would compromise your most cherished values, or you would get yours and I would compromise mine, for to me there is nothing so important as doing a good job raising children, as raising them without damaging them too much. It's so important to me that I'm almost scared of having them. And yet I would have had to stand by and allow you to sacrifice them to the altar of your own selfishness. How could we have been happy?

I don't know. And now I suppose I never will.

All I know is this: I have learned from our time together, and what I learned I will continue to use. I know more about myself and the world, and I'm pleased to think that I was a part of your learning about yourself. I will always value what we shared--those first carefree months, the joy of discovering a kindred soul; and later the peace and confidence of knowing that, in you, I had a partner who would stand by me for always. And now that our paths have parted, I know that I will make for myself a life I can be proud of; and I hope you are able to do the same.

My moon and stars are different now. Nonetheless, I will always love you.

~me
 
Dear :heart:,

Now that, I certainly didn't expect. That's not supposed to be me. I can believe I actually got teary after we spoke. Frankly, when I made that decision, I didn't expect it to turn out like this, for you to give me so much in return. It's quite a feat to make me cry, even more so to make me cry because I'm so touched.

Thank you. I'm looking forward to... well to it all really ;)

:kiss:
Cerise
 
Dear Universe,

Now's the time for that break I asked for. "You're hired" are the words I need to hear now.
 
Dear Whoever who's interviewing her tomorrow,

Please offer her the job. And lots of money. Make it tempting. Make her move there. Please please. :devil:

Dino.
 
Dear self,

Next time come back when the good hair stylist is working. *sigh*

glynndah
 
Dear sis,

You do realize that the world does not revolve around you. Stop being a selfish bitch. You don't own the living room, be thankful my parents still let you stay here. So what if mom wants to watch some TV? You weren't even watching TV, you were just listening to your terrible music and singing loudly along. I swear you made my ears bleed. You've done nothing but spew venom and stomp around the house in a foul mood since you got back from college. Here's a tip, if you hate it here so much, learn to drive, get an f'n job and move the fuck out. I doubt anyone here would object to that.

Sometimes I want to just bitch-slap you and your bad attitude.

And to both sisters, leave some food for the rest of us will ya? Also, it's the families food, not yours. So what if I had some of your cereal? Did I complain when you ate the last of my leftover pizza (that I paid for, not mom)? You obviously have no problem eating other peoples food, so expect a tongue-lashing the next time you complain about me eating yours. Again, get a job and buy your own damn food, then we'll talk.

Your thoroughly annoyed older brother.

------

Dear Lit,

Anyone want to bitch-slap my sister for me, since I could never do it myself?

I'd appreciate it.

Trom
 
Dear X,

WHAT...the FUCK...do you THINK...you were DOING today?! I know you've been to distro enough times now to know that everything goes to that side and not the other side. SO WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU GO TO THE OTHER SIDE?!?! You screwed yourself ovwer and tried to blame it on me, and you wasted more than an hour of our time; we ALL had to stay LATE today BECAUSE OF YOU!!! Not to mention the time that was wasted this morning because you couldn't or wouldn't keep things straight in your head. And you're bitching about having to work late today because you had plans for the afternoon? Had you done things right today, we might have been able to get out as much as an hour EARLY. This is YOUR problem, man, NOT ours!!

Further, you've shown me that you have an excuse for everything. Your meds, your girlfriend and her kids, your mother, your brother, your best friend, your doctor, not to mention the infamous nobody-told-me-that excuse. Give me a fucking break. You're late because of these reasons, you fuck up directions because of these reasons, you get lost because of these reasons, you ditch us somewhere because of these reasons. Come ON dude!!

And if you DARE ever grab the steering wheel while someone else is driving, or jump out of a vehicle while it's still in motion again, you and I will have words, my boss and I will have words about you, and your ass will probably be fired because you're still on probation.

Understood?

Me
 
Dear Medical Staff at _______ hospital:

When you know we are ready for the end to come, why will you not give us any answers?

Why will you not share in what you THINK may be happening? We know you aren't GOD so why don't you let us in on what you THINK may take place?

It has been three weeks of unanswered questions, and because it is a holiday weekend, you think it's best to take off and leave us hanging for yet another 4 days?

Ultrasounds, CAT scans, blood work and her losing conciousness still hasn't provided you with enough info to share a bit of what you are thinking to at least put us at ease to know she will pass sooner than later?

I know with government cut backs you had to remove beds from the hospital, and cut nursing staff, but what about training nursing staff on how to deal with alzheimers patients? Is it up to family to care for them night and day to may your day easier? It seems to me we pay the same taxes as everyone else why do we not get the same care for our loved ones as everyone else?

We have told you for three weeks she is not eating and is having difficulties swallowing, why do you continually try to give her PILLS? I asked if her meds can be given by needle, you said yes, so why aren't you doing that? By the time she figures out what you are doing, the needle is over with and she has what she needs.

Why is it that it seems as though you are pushing away the enevitable and letting us linger on what we think may happen so you can save money on providing proper drugs and service to my Mother in law?

Why when she hasn't ate in almost a month now will you NOT give her an IV?
Telling me she will pull it out is not an answer, you can place it in a positon where she can't reach it and still provide her with fluids so she isn't starving to death!

Why were you ever given a medical license in the first place?

Truly angered and hurt,
SC (please ignore the spelling errors, it has been a long night!)

Wow. *hugs* :rose:
 
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