Currenly writing and building up the nerve to post once complete. Any feedback?

[Kimmyxwu]

I've statrted to write the story I have iin my mind and looking to get some early feedback. I'm not even close to complete but would like som e early thoughts.]

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[AlinaX]

I would skip Part 1 and jump straight in with Part 2, weaving in the backstory only when necessary.

Grammar needs tidying here and there.