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A Note on Sending Me Anonymous Advice

pink_silk_glove said:
When you are objective and you believe in your work, you cannot be put in your place if you do not want to be.

I've been critiqued. I've been critiqued fairly and I've also been nitpicked over bullshit by someone with an axe to grind. I've never been butthurt by any of it because no one makes anyone butthurt, butthurt is a personal choice.

Butthurt serves a purpose. Whenever you feel insulted or slighted, that is simply a sign that your ego is in the way. You can learn to read the signs, recognize your ego and make it stand down. The more that you do this, the more positive your life experiences will become.

Or you can sit there and pout in the comfort of your butthurtness and not grow learn or improve. Your choice.
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Ideally, yes. We are all human though. We are touchy about our stories, we invested time and effort and talent to write them and it is hard not to get pissed off when someone is dismissing them in such a way. What I described n the previous post is a great way of sticking it to the assholes but I am not sure how realistic it is for an average Lit author. We are mostly amateurs here, we are not widely recognized and respected so this kind of feedback can get to us.
All that I said in the previous post, I actually managed to do with one such malicious email and I ended up feeling quite good about myself. It's not easy though and I don't believe I could do it every time. But yeah, if you manage to do it, it feels really good ;)
 
Like many people on here, I don't like readers to tell me what my characters should do next. If I took their advice, they'd be writing my story. Then, it becomes their story and not mine. I don't want readers to know what's next unless I want them to. Why read a story when you know exactly what's going to happen? Dad has the annoying habit of saying a response line when we watch a movie or TV show. He's written so much for so long; he just knows what's about to happen, especially if he is familiar with the writer's other stories. I remind him, "Don't tell me what they are going to say." Mum doesn't help, she likes it when he is right (98% of the time) about what someone is going to say.

What I'm saying is, I don't want to become predictable as a writer to the point the readers know what's going to happen every step of the way.
 
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AwkwardlySet said:
I definitely agree, but I also tend to look at things from a different perspective. So there is some asshole who is trying to put you down and dismiss your writing ability by sending you anonymous feedback. If one can detach themselves from the clear malicious intent of this anonymous person and find something useful in their feedback, and there often is at least a bit of such useful feedback, then the joke is on them.
Finding something useful even in such malicious feedback feels like sticking it to the asshole. The douchebag wanted to put you down yet you profited off their assholeness.
It's not easy to detach yourself like that, but if you can pull it off, it feels like a perfect flipping of the finger.
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For a few years I had a regular poster here razzing my writing ability right here on the discussion board. I found that ignoring him and by not taking the bait to reciprocate (I've never read any of his stories. He has a fan club, so they must be good) he finally has just stopped that. I know he's never read my stuff, and, if he has, it has just been with the intent of finding something to razz. I can just as easily ignore anonymous feedback (although I get very little).
 
pink_silk_glove said:
Certainly he has no obligation to take the feedback - his choice, absolutely - but he's foolish to not accept quality feedback based on some arrogant technicality.
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I think maybe you should spend less time concerning yourself with what other writers have to want to get from posting their stories here.
 
MillieDynamite said:
Like many people on here, I don't like readers to tell me what my characters should do next. If I took their advice, they'd be writing my story. Then, it becomes their story and mine. I don't want readers to know what's next unless I want them to. Why read a story when you know exactly what's going to happen?
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Absolutely. I make this point all the time (and often get slammed for it).

However, it is ultimately your choice whether to take each bit of feedback on board or not. It is up to you to decide if it helps you and how much. And the added beauty is, that even if you decide not to adopt the suggestions of the critique, you get invaluable info about how that reader connected to your work and how the experience played out for them. This is something that you absolutely cannot know on your own.
 
KeithD said:
I think maybe you should spend less time concerning yourself with what other writers have to want to get from posting their stories here.
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You mean how you are so concerned with me? ;)

I have not once insisted that anyone act in a certain way. It even says so right in what you quoted of me above: "Certainly he has no obligation to take the feedback - his choice, absolutely", so I'm not sure how you missed that. I have clearly maintained that these are all choices. I'm just pointing out the truth behind the choices.
 
CalebZhass said:
I never said you should pay attention. But saying you just don't care about feedback is not the same as demonizing the people giving feedback.

The former is a perfectly acceptable personal stance, the latter is pointless and misguided generalization.

But I'm with you on the last bit. Noone should be forced to care about feedback. But if they do, then cherry picking opinions we like while discrediting those we don't is just .. well, to me it doesn't sound right. But that's just me :)
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Like my response to Pink, I think you should spend less time telling others how they should feel about getting feedback here from strangers of unknown writing expertise.
 
Has this thread maybe run its course?

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Black_Jasmine said:
Guess what. The whole site is anonymous. If you'd take advice from someone with a user name like SprayMyJizzIntoYourEyes787226 but not someone labeled Anonymous, I don't think your filtering methodology is very sound.
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Nah, I know SprayMyJizzIntoYourEyes787226. he's an ass. nut SprayMyJizzIntoYourEyes787227... :ROFLMAO:
 
Black_Jasmine said:
Guess what. The whole site is anonymous. If you'd take advice from someone with a user name like SprayMyJizzIntoYourEyes787226 but not someone labeled Anonymous, I don't think your filtering methodology is very sound.
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Succinct. You said it better than I could.
 
Is it me or does she look like Carol Decker (from T'Pau, for those too young to remember)? Or Debra Messing, but with boobs?
 
I haven't had anyone trying to tell me what to do in my writing here, only on feedback. Everyone who has offered suggestions were talking about style, choice of words, or that I'm just a bad writer. LOL
pink_silk_glove said:
Absolutely. I make this point all the time (and often get slammed for it).

However, it is ultimately your choice whether to take each bit of feedback on board or not. It is up to you to decide if it helps you and how much. And the added beauty is, that even if you decide not to adopt the suggestions of the critique, you get invaluable info about how that reader connected to your work and how the experience played out for them. This is something that you absolutely cannot know on your own.
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The question is how many among those who give anonymous feedback are actually people who have no accounts on Lit and how many are Lit users or even authors who choose to comment anonymously?
I have seen plenty of AH people comment on stories, but in like 99% of the cases those were very positive comments. It stands to reason that when one wants to criticize or just put someone down, one would resort to anonymity for obvious reasons.
There are story websites where one needs to register and log in in order to even read a full story, let alone comment on it, but here we have the haven of anonymity. It allows for more and more honest feedback yet it also allows a lot of malicious content, especially with poor moderation like we have here on Lit. It's a mixed bag.
 
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