Submissiveboy69
Virgin
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2018
- Posts
- 17
I am a young well educated male. Despite my academic success, I’ve battled a lot of stuff in the past few years: sexuality, anxiety, and little porn addiction. It’s quite a load of shit to try to wade through, but I honestly feel I’m getting better.
About sex: before I even knew what I was really doing, my fantasies involved being subjected to the erotic whims of a powerful man . I’ve tried to hide my interest in “submission” from everyone, including potential and sometimes briefly sexual partners. Only recently have I begun to address this directly. I feel it is, broadly, an issue of sexual orientation that requires something like a “coming out” process. I have told a few friends but don’t think it’s necessary to reveal all this to my family. I cannot have a fulfilling sexual experience unless my desire to have a tilted power dynamic is understood and indulged, and I don’t think romantic love is possible for me without this part of me being accepted and appreciated. What I would like to do is seek out sexual partners who would be compatible. But when do I bring it up? I have this dread of that moment on a date, perhaps a first kiss, or whatever, when things are becoming unambiguously physical. WTF do I say? Should I try to get involved in a BDSM “scene”? Date “normal” people? Online personals? I don’t want to try to have sex again without it being known or understood. It feels like pretending, and it sucks.
About sex: before I even knew what I was really doing, my fantasies involved being subjected to the erotic whims of a powerful man . I’ve tried to hide my interest in “submission” from everyone, including potential and sometimes briefly sexual partners. Only recently have I begun to address this directly. I feel it is, broadly, an issue of sexual orientation that requires something like a “coming out” process. I have told a few friends but don’t think it’s necessary to reveal all this to my family. I cannot have a fulfilling sexual experience unless my desire to have a tilted power dynamic is understood and indulged, and I don’t think romantic love is possible for me without this part of me being accepted and appreciated. What I would like to do is seek out sexual partners who would be compatible. But when do I bring it up? I have this dread of that moment on a date, perhaps a first kiss, or whatever, when things are becoming unambiguously physical. WTF do I say? Should I try to get involved in a BDSM “scene”? Date “normal” people? Online personals? I don’t want to try to have sex again without it being known or understood. It feels like pretending, and it sucks.