Ruby Red Clichés are my Burning Passion

Many of us are tying to avoid clichés in our poetry, but at times we don't realize that the word or phrase in our poem is cliché. So I offer a list of clichés to avoid. Though, I'm sure some of these can work if the poet uses them in an interesting way.
Please help me add to the list!

ruby red
snow white
heart's desire
burning desire
flames of passion
ecstasy
ivory skin
creamy breasts/mounds
flower of her womanhood bloomed/opened
petal soft
crystal clear
eyes sparkle/twinkle
tear-stained
broken heart
honey sweet
throbbing manhood
dripping wet
soul
pleasure
lust
angel soft
black as night
stormy love

Okay, that's a start. Anyone want to add to it?

hummm whats left

whats left then LOL

Graceful as a cat

porcelain skin (I hate this one. It's a bad metaphor anyhow. Who likes the thought of brittle skin?)

hard as rock/nails

But Eve I have to disagree with you on a couple of those. Ecstacy, soul, pleasure, and lust are not cliches. They are just words.

The problem is that they are used in cliched ways. "Filled with lust", "throes of ecstasy". Things like that. But the words themselves aren't bad.

karmadog said:

Graceful as a cat

porcelain skin (I hate this one. It's a bad metaphor anyhow. Who likes the thought of brittle skin?)

hard as rock/nails

But Eve I have to disagree with you on a couple of those. Ecstacy, soul, pleasure, and lust are not cliches. They are just words.

The problem is that they are used in cliched ways. "Filled with lust", "throes of ecstasy". Things like that. But the words themselves aren't bad.

Click to expand...

I agree. It's just that those words are used too often. But sometimes they are used wonderfully in a poem.

WE -

Rather than list the cliché, trite phrases to which many beginning poets and writers resort, why not list methods that we use to rid our work of these cliché, trite phrases?

I think you have listed a couple of generally overdone trite metaphors: a building fire related to building desire and blooming plants with pussies.

The first and foremost tool for a writer to employ when confronted with cliché or trite phrases in their work is the edit.

Hopefully, you have not based an entire work on one of the overworked ideas listed above, but in most cases a simple, well-constructed edit will fix a lacking work.

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Other methods include writing the trite/cliché phrase first, then trying to identify two or three other phrases that could be used instead to say the same thing.

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For example:

My love is like a flame.

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Ouch! How can someone use so many words to say so little.

1) Ask yourself what the words mean to you.

Okay, my love...uh, my love is my passion, my lust, my desire for someone I've met.

2) What are other words that can be used to express that?

"My love" could be symbolized by "my erection, my stiff nipples, my wetness, my damp crotch, my quickened pulse" and on...

3) Any other trite ideas in the phrase?

Oh yeah, "is like a" is used too, too often, and "flame" has been used like a billion times.

So, use some other method of relating two ideas, personify the first or something.

And flame symbolizes the heat one feels when attracted by another. And it can be symbolized by some other hot item - cooking, electicity, friction, etc.

4) Put it all together and what do you get?

"My love is like a flame" becomes "My pulse quickens to catch your friction."

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Okay, it's not wonderful, but you get the idea.


- Judo

Judo, the reason I listed some of these clichés was because not long ago I was using some of them and didn't realize they were cliché. And recently another poet used a phrase in his poem, and was told that it was cliché. The poet didn't realize it.
Anyway, love the lesson you posted.

i am learning more all the time
thanks all
hopefully soon i will have the confidence to submit

thanks guys ,, makes you read your work in a new light , and rush to edit posted and written work before its seen ,,,,,

WickedEve said:

Judo, the reason I listed some of these clichés was because not long ago I was using some of them and didn't realize they were cliché. And recently another poet used a phrase in his poem, and was told that it was cliché. The poet didn't realize it.
Anyway, love the lesson you posted.

Click to expand...

I know what you mean. It's probably a good idea to have lessons and lists. The lists of what to try and avoid and the lesson that helps do it.

Thinking of "ruby red"...one of my favorite descriptions of full, sensual, lipstick-coated lips

"Her mouth twisted into a neon jalapeño as it smiled, glistening in the lamp's glow."

hot, exotic, spicy smile...mmmmmm...something you wanna eat, not kiss.


- Judo