Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Authors' Hangout

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 01-04-2006, 05:10 PM   #1
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Have you ever tried.......??

This is a completely arbitrary thread, the idea for which came about last evening (the reason why, will become clear when I post my first 'Have you ever tried?'), and I thought it would be great fun to post the most ridiculous things you could think of......or have witnessed.....or even tried.
__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:12 PM   #2
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Have you ever tried........

Driving on a freeway, with one hand on the steering wheel, while using the other to pluck hairs from your nose?????

Declaration: This is completely true, Becca, Mindy and I watched a woman doing this last Friday as we were struggling out of the valley on our way to the Grand Canyon! She was weaving all over the road, erratic speeds, and for a while we weren't sure if she was having trouble with the car.....until we changed lanes and came up next to her. We were so stunned, the only thing we could do was laugh hysterically.

Honestly.

*Note: that really must have been hard. Have you ever been able to pluck nasal hair without your eyes streaming with tears?*
__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:13 PM   #3
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Have you ever tried........

Washing up dishes by hand, when each wrist is encircled with a black leather cuff, held in place with a padlock?

Believe me, its not easy.

__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:16 PM   #4
chris 44
Literotica Guru
 
chris 44's Avatar
 
chris 44 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: West Yorkshire, England.
Posts: 1,859
Quote:
Originally Posted by matriarch
Have you ever tried........

Washing up dishes by hand, when each wrist is encircled with a black leather cuff, held in place with a padlock?

Believe me, its not easy.


Interesting thought Mat
__________________
First ever story submission to Literotica has now been posted.
Champagne and Strawberries Please read and enjoy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
New novella, the ABDUCTION series, is now up to Chapter 8 and scoring okay. http://english.literotica.com/storie....php?id=236910
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
' Imagination can keep loneliness at bay for only so long. ' - Entitled
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - -
Miss you Colly.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:18 PM   #5
entitled
the quiet one
 
entitled's Avatar
 
entitled is offline
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: hiding from the fundamentalists
Posts: 17,813
Have not done the first. Have done the second, except it was handcuffs. Is that close enough?

Have you ever been driving down the highway and have the trunk of the car pop open, oly to have a laundry basket full of underwear and delicates fall out and scatter to the wind?
__________________
bits of my life
16.4% pure
It's like a nun learning how to become a street walker. It has to come naturally. --Svenska
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:19 PM   #6
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by matriarch
Have you ever tried........

Washing up dishes by hand, when each wrist is encircled with a black leather cuff, held in place with a padlock?

Believe me, its not easy.

Maybe not, but it's piqued my interest!!!
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:19 PM   #7
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by entitled
Have not done the first. Have done the second, except it was handcuffs. Is that close enough?

Have you ever been driving down the highway and have the trunk of the car pop open, oly to have a laundry basket full of underwear and delicates fall out and scatter to the wind?
Oh, I'd love to have been the car behind......maybe.
__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:20 PM   #8
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatelou
Maybe not, but it's piqued my interest!!!

Thought it might.

__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:27 PM   #9
English Lady
Erotic English Rose
 
English Lady's Avatar
 
English Lady is offline
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Post Whoredom!
Posts: 48,163
Have you ever tried getting your partner to wear your pink, frilly lingerie?


(I have, and it worked )
__________________

VISIT ME!
I Rumply
Christian Readers and Writers Thread
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:30 PM   #10
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by English Lady
Have you ever tried getting your partner to wear your pink, frilly lingerie?


(I have, and it worked )



[piercing yell down the hallway]Mindyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!![/endyell]
__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:32 PM   #11
English Lady
Erotic English Rose
 
English Lady's Avatar
 
English Lady is offline
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Post Whoredom!
Posts: 48,163
Quote:
Originally Posted by matriarch


[piercing yell down the hallway]Mindyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!![/endyell]

heee heee heee


*imaging mat covered in downy feathers*
__________________

VISIT ME!
I Rumply
Christian Readers and Writers Thread
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:35 PM   #12
entitled
the quiet one
 
entitled's Avatar
 
entitled is offline
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: hiding from the fundamentalists
Posts: 17,813
Well, it was my underwear...

Have you ever tied somebody down with toilet paper, then threatened to stop (insert actions here) if it broke?

__________________
bits of my life
16.4% pure
It's like a nun learning how to become a street walker. It has to come naturally. --Svenska
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:36 PM   #13
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by entitled
Well, it was my underwear...

Have you ever tied somebody down with toilet paper, then threatened to stop (insert actions here) if it broke?


Now there's a theme for a story if ever I heard one !!
__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:41 PM   #14
entitled
the quiet one
 
entitled's Avatar
 
entitled is offline
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: hiding from the fundamentalists
Posts: 17,813
Quote:
Originally Posted by matriarch
Now there's a theme for a story if ever I heard one !!
It very well could be... and it's harder than it sounds. Not that i would know or anything.

*cough*

What category would it fit under, though? Not quite BDSM, or what most people consider to be BDSM.
__________________
bits of my life
16.4% pure
It's like a nun learning how to become a street walker. It has to come naturally. --Svenska
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 05:57 PM   #15
Liar
now with 17% more class
 
Liar's Avatar
 
Liar is offline
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: 8th floor
Posts: 41,792
Have you ever said "Honey, you'll have to get the door, I'm stuck to the radiator!"
__________________
stuf...mor stuf
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:09 PM   #16
matriarch
Rotund retiree
 
matriarch's Avatar
 
matriarch is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 22,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liar
Have you ever said "Honey, you'll have to get the door, I'm stuck to the radiator!"

LOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
Matriarch's Musings
Latest poem:The Senses of Love (written for the erotic poetry challenge);
Latest story: She loves me, she loves me not.
;
My gallery thread

This is me in a nutshell.

"I was attempting to be nice, it burned....smug is good....be smuggy." - Abs
Goose Grading:Goddam fuckin' adorable!!
My favourite comment from Colly: "Few write caring, loving erotica with the flare you do."
"Mats inpsired Alien Sensations. Her belief in me gave me the courage to try Sci-fi/fantasy."- Colly
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:11 PM   #17
English Lady
Erotic English Rose
 
English Lady's Avatar
 
English Lady is offline
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Post Whoredom!
Posts: 48,163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liar
Have you ever said "Honey, you'll have to get the door, I'm stuck to the radiator!"
I can't say I have.


Oooh, have you ever looked up from the sofa midst passion to see someone staring in through the front room window?
__________________

VISIT ME!
I Rumply
Christian Readers and Writers Thread
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:15 PM   #18
cloudy
Alabama Slammer
 
cloudy's Avatar
 
cloudy is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: learning to fly
Posts: 37,988
Quote:
Originally Posted by English Lady
I can't say I have.


Oooh, have you ever looked up from the sofa midst passion to see someone staring in through the front room window?
Actually, yes...but it was a window in the front door, and it was his mother.

Have you ever left on trip, put your bag on top of the car prior to actually putting IN the car, and driven off, forgetting it's up there?
__________________
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."

Dear politicians and/or assorted twats who are against immigration,

We would be glad to help you pack.

Sincerely, Native Americans
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:24 PM   #19
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by entitled
Well, it was my underwear...

Have you ever tied somebody down with toilet paper, then threatened to stop (insert actions here) if it broke?

*takes notes*

Brilliant! Definitely something for future use, cheers!
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:46 PM   #20
Weird Harold
Opinionated Old Fart
 
Weird Harold's Avatar
 
Weird Harold is offline
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: "Lost Wages", NV USA
Posts: 23,606
Quote:
Originally Posted by cloudy
Have you ever left on trip, put your bag on top of the car prior to actually putting IN the car, and driven off, forgetting it's up there?
Not a bag -- at least not luggage -- but I have lost several travel mugs and a few bottles of soda or milk that way.
__________________
Answers! I got lots of answers!

(Now if I could just figure out which questions they go to. )
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:53 PM   #21
BlackShanglan
Silver-Tongued Papist
 
BlackShanglan's Avatar
 
BlackShanglan is offline
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Emain Macha
Posts: 16,897
Have you ever tried chasing a cat while naked and "carrying" a dildo in a rather unconventional sense?

I don't recommend it.

(No cats were harmed or abused in the making of this insanity.)

Shanglan
__________________
Want to shred something of mine? Oh, you know you do.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:54 PM   #22
The_Fool
smiling for the camera
 
The_Fool's Avatar
 
The_Fool is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,667
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackShanglan
Have you ever tried chasing a cat while naked and "carrying" a dildo in a rather unconventional sense?

I don't recommend it.

(No cats were harmed or abused in the making of this insanity.)

Shanglan
Shanglan, that is just WRONG!!!


And I thought I was warped....
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:58 PM   #23
LadyJeanne
deluded
 
LadyJeanne is offline
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,884
Have you ever been giving someone a lewd and lascivious naked lap dance and looked up to see a picture of his parents smiling down at you from the bookshelf?

__________________
smutty minded twat
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 06:58 PM   #24
English Lady
Erotic English Rose
 
English Lady's Avatar
 
English Lady is offline
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Post Whoredom!
Posts: 48,163
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackShanglan
Have you ever tried chasing a cat while naked and "carrying" a dildo in a rather unconventional sense?

I don't recommend it.

(No cats were harmed or abused in the making of this insanity.)

Shanglan

Oh gees, and I was just about to go to bed too...what an image!!!!
__________________

VISIT ME!
I Rumply
Christian Readers and Writers Thread
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-04-2006, 07:01 PM   #25
oggbashan
Ancient writer
 
oggbashan's Avatar
 
oggbashan is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Facing the sea.
Posts: 39,885
Have you ever tried...

...

1. Leaning over the bank of a stream trying to tickle trout for breakfast while a significant someone is tickling your balls?

(Only later did she admit that she didn't like trout.)

2. Trying to add wood to a rain-threatened camp fire while in the act of sexual congress and trying not to fail at both activities? And trying to keep her dry (from the rain).

Og
__________________


My Summer Lovin entry:
https://www.literotica.com/s/tranny-trouble


Oggbashan's long list of stories
Jeanne D'Artois' few


electricblue66:
It's like [oggbashan] is writing for the third puffin over there by the sixth rock, when everyone else is an emperor penguin in the Antarctic, where there's tens of thousands of the bastards.

  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:07 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.