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Old 04-15-2003, 06:16 PM   #1
wildsweetone
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600 word stories

Okay, taking the bull by the horns here. I urgently need the practise at writing some 600 word stories to get back into the right frame of mind and practise the short story skills I had a while back.

Anybody in Litland willing to join me in writing some pieces for this thread?

Litland rules apply - and frankly I'd prefer not to have to read stories that would appear in the 'extreme' category.

I suggest the theme should be 'Present Day', apart from those few stipulations the fences are down.

Any takers?

(edited to add a link to the 600 word Snippetsville thread)
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/s...hreadid=168301

Last edited by wildsweetone : 06-25-2003 at 05:52 PM.
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Old 04-15-2003, 06:26 PM   #2
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Hmmmmmmm

Sounds interesting, trouble is I'm an old waffler and 600 almost always goes to 1200 before I'm done half a tale, I too have terrible problems keeping it short. (No not that MG,hehe).




pops..........
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Old 04-15-2003, 06:27 PM   #3
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I might have a try.

I wrote some 50 word stories but they were rejected for being too short with the suggestion that I resubmit them as poetry.

Here is a sample:

Fifty Word Facesit

I struggle vainly, bound by her bra and pantyhose. She straddles
my legs, slides up my body. White panties flash, her grey skirt
covers me in scented darkness. Warm damp cotton brushes my nose, covers mouth. Her legs wrap my head, pulling my face deep. "Pay rise now!" she insists.

Og.
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Old 04-15-2003, 06:52 PM   #4
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Literotica 'story' requirement is a minimum of 750 words (poetry is different).


This thread is to be 600 words, Og... Fill out your poem. See what happens

Pops, if you want the practise then join in. It's okay if you prefer not to. Writing short pieces is not everybody's kettle of fish
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Old 04-15-2003, 06:55 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by wildsweetone

This thread is to be 600 words, Og... Fill out your poem. See what happens
600 words doesn't get my characters in the same town. Now if you had said 6000 then they might get something going but I'll try.

Og
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Old 04-16-2003, 05:36 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by wildsweetone
This thread is to be 600 words
Damn, Try as I can I can't get it below 603.
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Old 04-16-2003, 04:14 PM   #7
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oh come on, quit pontificating! there's got to be somebody else around who can do this.
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Old 04-16-2003, 04:22 PM   #8
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Cool. More flash fiction. I'm in. What's the topic?

Just thinking of it, any one of my death thoughts would make a good bit of flash fiction.

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Old 04-16-2003, 04:59 PM   #9
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Interesting challenge

Here's 582 words. Comments?

The buxom Latina with long black hair and penetrating dark eyes sat across from me on the commuter train home from NYC. It was not the first time we sat this way, and I wanted to know more about her. With people all around, and not wanting to embarrass her, I got up the courage tonight to wink, once and with a smile, ready for whatever rebuke.

She looked at me intensely, then askance to her left at other passengers close by. None had noticed and she winked back, also with a smile. Frankly, I was shocked. Could this be? Moments later, she puckered her lips slightly, looking directly at me, and shifted in her seat. The motion moved her legs too, between mine in the commuter’s fashion for man and woman, brushed up firmly against me, pushing me apart several inches.

She looked nonchallantly back at her obligatory paperback. I was now charged, rather than shocked, and shifted in my seat too, causing my leg to slide up against hers, calf to calf, and feel the flesh give. She looked up from the book, around at our fellow, preoccupied passengers, and back at me. Unbelievably, she lifted her knee, the one closest to the other passengers, we being seated toward the windows, and grasped her ankle with one hand and pulled it over her other knee. I couldn’t miss the intent.

The view was as clear as it was intended to be. Her skirt hiked sufficiently to let her thighs spread. They were clad in dark hose, reaching only midway up her covered thighs, and topped by white flesh merging into black, lacey panties. The straps of a garter belt reached down from the still covered area above and clung tightly to the stockings. Her pussy lips were swollen and moist as attested to by the staining panties, and seemed to point back to her face for my next instruction.

When our eyes met again, she looked once more for intervening eyes, then nodded to me for action. I stared for a moment, not knowing what I could do, and she nudged my knee, with her foot. I looked down and saw a hand reach under her window side thigh and some fingers emerge at her crack. They began to play. I got the picture.

My own reading material was a large boating magazine. It served well to hide my window side hand as it ventured underneath and slowly opened my zipper. I shifted in my seat to obscure my next move and reached in and freed my stiff shaft from confinement. I couldn’t tell for sure, but I guessed that little more than the head emerged visibly. I did have enough room barely to push my hand down sufficiently and grasp the hot cock and move it slightly up and down. I looked up at her.

She was mouth open, staring intently over her book and into my crotch. When she looked up, she smiled very broadly and twiddled her crack and panties and pussy some more. We watched each other for several minutes, “getting to know each other.”

Our station was announced and we fixed our clothes before rising to depart. No one noticed how closely behind I followed her to the door of the train, all the while letting her feel my hardness in her crack. Our mates were waiting at the station, but I am looking forward to the next semi-holiday when the trains are lightly traveled.
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Old 04-16-2003, 06:45 PM   #10
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TheEarl, 'Present Day' is the theme for this thread. I look forward to reading your story.

nycguy53, thank you for your story. I didn't intend for this thread to be a 'feedback' thread... just a kind of practise for word limits.

however as you have asked, i'll slip in a couple of comments...

i like the storyline. i have had difficulty reading the story though. i don't know enough about the mechanics of writing to give you the theory on my thoughts, but some sentences seemed to be put together in an unusual way.

for example...

'With people all around, and not wanting to embarrass her, I got up the courage tonight to wink, once and with a smile, ready for whatever rebuke.'
to me this sentence doesn't appear quite finished. i'd probably say '...for whatever rebuke she threw at me.' or something similar.

the next paragraph:
'She looked at me intensely, then askance to her left at other passengers close by.'
i would have said '...then in askance...'

'The motion moved her legs too, between mine in the commuter’s fashion for man and woman, brushed up firmly against me, pushing me apart several inches.'
i am in enough doubt at this point to ask... do you mean 'pushing mine apart several inches'?

(if you would like more in depth feedback than the little bit i've managed to do here... please PM me. i'm away for the long weekend but i'll try to manage it for next week at some point.)
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Old 04-16-2003, 08:34 PM   #11
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Okay, I'll give it a shot, but I'm not very good at flash so don't say I didn't warn you.

Present's Day
(600 words)

The cake's gone, the presents opened. The kids are in bed and the thumping noises have finally stopped so I'm pretty sure they're asleep.

Matt watches as I finish the dishes. He's still sitting in the chair of honor -- wrapping paper in drifts around his legs. I throw the dishrag down and turn to him.

"So how we doin' birthday boy?"

He shrugs. "It's finally happened."

"What?"

"I've turned into my father." He gestures at the pile of gifts. "Three ties, a tool box and a sweater."

"Well the kids picked the ties."

"I figured. I like the Daffy Duck."

I sashay over and sit, straddling his legs. "You haven't gotten my gift yet."

"Really? I thought the sweater…"

I shake my head, "That was for show. To fool your parents and the munchkins."

"Mmmm," he grins. "Don't keep me in suspense."

I rock against him once and his cock twitches. "Be right back."

I walk over to the utensil drawer and open it. "I've always wanted one of these, but never knew what I'd use it for." I show him the marble utensil with the bright red bow.

Matt's eyes widen, "What the fuck?"

I grab the cord for the beaters and saunter back. "Hands behind your back, birthday boy."

"Uh, Lorrie, I don't…"

"Do it," I soften the order with a quick lick to his ear.

The knot isn't secure, but it's the idea that's the turn on. The bulge in his pants tells me Matt agrees.

I slide to my knees and lean over and take his zipper in my mouth. My hands undo the snap as I pull down with my teeth. His cock springs free.

"Forty years old and no underwear. What would your mother say?"

"Ugh," Matt groans. "Just suck it!"

"Okay," I grin. "But only because you asked so nicely."

He's hot and wet, but so is my mouth. I know the territory and what he likes. It doesn't take long until he's humping my mouth and his balls draw up for the final blast.

It's what I've been waiting for.

"Don't stop!" He's almost frantic, but I ignore him.

I grab the waistband of his jeans and tug hard. He almost slides off the chair. His tied hands behind the back stop him as his ass hits the edge. I pick up what I'd shown him earlier and lean up to the table next to us. I grab the butter keep and push off the lid smearing the slippery ooze around the cool stone.

"Wait, what is that?" He looks at the thing like it might shoot bullets.

"A pestle," I reply. "Or mortar, I don't remember now."

"I don't think…"

"Then don't."

I kiss him hard then slide down to recapture his cock. It distracts him while my hands spread his ass. The round egg of marble touches his hole and he shivers, but there's nothing he can do to prevent me from breeching him.

"Shit!"

One short sharp cry and I wait until tense muscles relax. Then as my mouth moves over his cock, my hand pushes it in.

"Oh Jesus," Matt's eyes widen as I find his prostate. "Oh fuck, what are you doing to me?"

I assume it's a rhetorical question.

His legs tremble and he throws his head back and yells. I swallow his cock and press further into him, always pushing until it's too much. My mouth fills with his cream.

"Still feel like your father?"

"If I do," he gasps at last. "Then he's one very lucky son of a bitch."



Jayne
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Old 04-16-2003, 11:10 PM   #12
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$%^&$&^%(*!!

Could I submit something that includes, "A gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff"?
MG
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Old 04-16-2003, 11:16 PM   #13
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jayne, grief! and you reckon you're not good? where on earth did you get that idea? i loved it, probably because i could put myself in Lorrie's position easily. a very well written story.

MathGirl, feel free to join in, but do you think you can make the word count with a mouf fulla muff? wait up! of course you can!
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Old 04-17-2003, 12:30 AM   #14
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*Blushes*

You're too kind WSO. Thanks.

Jayne
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Old 04-17-2003, 06:14 AM   #15
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Re: $%^&$&^%(*!!

Quote:
Originally posted by MathGirl
Could I submit something that includes, "A gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff"?
MG
MG Are you sure that isn't your alter ego talking?

It sounds like it should be in a DG story.

Og
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Old 04-17-2003, 11:37 AM   #16
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Re: Re: $%^&$&^%(*!!

Quote:
Originally posted by oggbashan
MG Are you sure that isn't your alter ego talking?

It sounds like it should be in a DG story.

Og
MG and her split personality thing... lol
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Old 04-17-2003, 02:36 PM   #17
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Bloody hell Jayne, that was amazing. Why did you think you weren't that good?

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Old 04-17-2003, 03:11 PM   #18
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Re: Re: $%^&$&^%(*!!

Quote:
Originally posted by oggbashan
MG Are you sure that isn't your alter ego talking?
It sounds like it should be in a DG story.
Wanta DG storey well they won't publish my arte hear. There's a joint than dont mind printing shit thoaugh


http://www.eroticstories.com/my/story.php?id=17952

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Old 04-17-2003, 11:43 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheEarl
Bloody hell Jayne, that was amazing. Why did you think you weren't that good?

The (writer's blocked) Earl
*Kisses Earl*

And to answer your question, flash is something I've had a lot of trouble with in the past. I think I was just inspired here.

Jayne

PS. Don't let on to Gauche that I told you this, but bikini is B Keeney and Communist Quiz is a Monty Python skit.
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Old 04-17-2003, 11:53 PM   #20
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God bless your little cotton socks.

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Old 04-18-2003, 05:41 AM   #21
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I wasn't going to try this...

...but I got the idea and it wouldn't go away, so I set to and wrote it this morning. The shortest piece I've written since Killermuffin's challenge to write about a picture she provided. 595 words, according to Word, and I've taken about 50 out!

- - - - -

The Bet.

"You seem to be having some problems?"

As I'd just had my face slapped for the second time it didn't take a genius to work that out. I looked at her. Elegant in a black cocktail dress, blonde hair in a neat chignon, she could have been anywhere between thirty and fifty. For some reason I felt the need to tell her the truth.

"I've just been bet ten thousand dollars that I can't get one of the women in this room to go to bed with me within an hour. Hence the face-slapping. I decided the best way was to ask." I grinned ruefully.

"Ask?"

"Ask, as in, 'will you go to bed with me?'"

"Yes, I will." She glanced over my shoulder towards Dan Sheldon, his arms around a couple of girls young enough to be his daughters. "Do you have a room here?"

"Two-eighteen," I replied automatically, feeling as if I'd been kicked in the stomach.

"Let's go, then," she said, taking my arm and steering me towards the door. I could see Dan's face in the mirror, incredulous as he watched us leave.

In the elevator she was silent, almost solemn.

"There's a snag," I said.

"Tell me."

"I have to have proof."

She flashed a glance at me. "Not a problem."

Once in my room she began to undress. Clad only in garter-belt and stockings she turned to me.

"Undress," she commanded.

Mutely, I complied, until I stood naked before her, my prick well on its way to full hardness. A woman wearing only stockings and waiting to have sex with me will have that effect.

"How much is there left of your hour?"

"Thirty-five minutes."

"No time for fore-play. Pity, but I'm wet just thinking about this. Do you have a name?"

"Bob. Bob Archer."

"Hi, Bob. I'm Helen. Fuck me, Bob."

"With pleasure." She lay back on the bed and threw her legs apart. I knelt between them, my prick now as hard as it has ever been. Her hand took me in a light grasp and guided me into her. She was right, she was wet and I sank straight to my root in her steaming pussy. Her heels came up into the small of my back and urged me into her. Our coupling was soundless and torrid, her hands clawing at my back, my prick pistoning in her juices until with a soundless cry she climaxed, triggering my own eruption.

For a long moment we lay clasping each other as we fought to get our breath back, until Helen stirred.

"How long left?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"Is that a Polaroid camera on the dresser?

"Yes."

"Take my photograph, for your proof."

"What do I want with ten thousand dollars? Your smile is worth more than that."

"Take the picture. Take two, one for your proof, one to remember me."

"I'll never forget you!"

She sat on the bed, her hands behind her, legs spread, as I took two quick pictures then dressed as the pictures developed. She took them from me, nodding.

"Excellent, no doubt it's me. Have you a pen?"

She scribbled quickly on the photographs, then handed them to me. On one, 'Bob, thank you for a wonderful fuck. Helen. XXX. 9:21pm, April 16, 2003'. On the other, a telephone number and 'Call me. I want to do this again. Slowly'.

"The first one should help. Get dressed and get down there. Time's money!"

"Does Dan Sheldon know you?"

She smiled, like a shark. "Not nearly as well as he's going to. I'm his wife!"

- - - - -

Good fun, and quite a challenge.

Alex
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Old 04-18-2003, 11:03 PM   #22
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Re: I wasn't going to try this...

Quote:
Originally posted by Alex De Kok
...but I got the idea and it wouldn't go away, so I set to and wrote it this morning. The shortest piece I've written since Killermuffin's challenge to write about a picture she provided. 595 words, according to Word, and I've taken about 50 out!
Alex
Hey Alex,

Glad you changed your mind. That was great and funny as hell.

Jayne
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Old 04-20-2003, 06:49 PM   #23
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Alex!!! thank goodness you decided to come on in i loved your story dear, am laughing my head off (thank goodness everyone's out )


TheEarl... just let your mind wander and choose any outlet it wishes. Present Day covers everything and anything that would happen in 2003.

if you want some single words to kick start your thoughts hmmmm

battle

spring

sea

carpet

birdbath


good luck!
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Old 04-20-2003, 08:14 PM   #24
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Re: 600 word stories

Quote:
Originally posted by wildsweetone
Okay, taking the bull by the horns here. I urgently need the practise at writing some 600 word stories to get back into the right frame of mind and practise the short story skills I had a while back.

Anybody in Litland willing to join me in writing some pieces for this thread?


So, when do we get to see your story?

Jayne
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Old 04-20-2003, 08:16 PM   #25
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sorry i've been tied up in the garden and haven't had a chance to write anything yet. i hope to write something tomorrow. i loathe long weekends! lol

truely, i'm not trying to avoid doing this... at least i think i'm not...

mind you... being tied up in the garden has given me food for thought...

manana!
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