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trainman1957

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Jun 6, 2015
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I recently had my prostate removed do to cancer. My doctor told me it might be sometime until I am able to get an erection if ever. It is what it is. I still want to be able to pleasure a woman orally. My question is how do I approach a woman and tell her I can only have oral sex with her? Have any ladies ever had this offer? Kind of embarrassing.
 
I have not. But if I did, I'd say, "Well, you have fingers, too. Let's give it a try and see how it works out. If there's chemistry there, and we both enjoy what we're doing, there's no problem."

And men can use strap-ons as well as women can, if she needs to feel something in her vadge. I wouldn't consider the lack of an erection to be a deal-breaker, if you're both willing to experiment.

Good luck!
 
I'm willing to bet there are many women out there who would love to get a thorough tongue lashing - even without any penetration. I also think the first commenter is correct - if you find the right person, she will probably be willing to work with you. The suggestion about the strap-on is also a good one. You may also have some luck with a pump. Good luck to you.
 
There are toys, too.

What you didn't way was whether you'll be able to orgasm, even without erections. I don't know much about that, but I've noticed that after a few orgasms, I can climax without getting hard. You should let your partner know about that, too, so she doesn't think she's doing something wrong in trying to please you.

As Athalia said, good luck!
 
Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better. I know there are many ways to please a woman beside penetration. I had thought about toys but not the strap-on.
Something to think about.
My doctor told me I could have an orgasm but there would be no ejaculation.
I feel that I'm ready to give it the old college try.
If anyone else has any advice. I'm all ears.
 
You can mix it up too!
Fingers, of course, while oralizing her.
Better yet, slip a dildo in her and work it in and out while you lick her clit! (My wife loves that)
 
trainman1957 said:
If anyone else has any advice. I'm all ears.
Click to expand...

Talk to your doctor about erection drugs, which range all the way from pills to injections. I had radical prostatectomy as a cancer treatment 13 years ago, but can still achieve the lasting erection of a 20-year-old, along with great orgasms.

Quick short-term erections can be had with a medical grade pump used with cock rings. Once again, your doctor should be able to advise, and if he can't, find another urologist.
 
Just tell her, plain and simple. If it's someone you've just met, you can mention your recent health issues early on, without mentioning the erectile issue in particular, just so she doesn't feel too unprepared later when you get down to details. Either way though, I expect most women will take an honest guy interested in pleasing them - if with some limitations - over someone dishonest or selfish who happens to have erections.
 
Ann, that was exactly what I was asking. I want to be honest but I don't want to lay my whole life out there. Just see what happens.
 
Well, I see how it may be an uncomfortable subject, certainly. You can just tell her in general terms what you've had done, and if she's curious, she'll google it and find out the details for herself. I've just tried it - it's not difficult at all.

And for what it's worth, it wouldn't bother me if I liked the guy otherwise. Not that I dislike penetrative sex, but it isn't a necessity. I'm sure there are ladies like that in your neck of woods as well :)
 
trainman1957 said:
Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better. I know there are many ways to please a woman beside penetration. I had thought about toys but not the strap-on.
Something to think about.
My doctor told me I could have an orgasm but there would be no ejaculation.
I feel that I'm ready to give it the old college try.
If anyone else has any advice. I'm all ears.
Click to expand...

My best friend had his prostate removed and he and his wife use the pump. He has had good luck with it and she has worked with him doing the pumping together. He has an orgasm which he says or calls a dry orgasm where nothing comes out but he still feels it........never quit......keep going....er......cumming...as it were.....:eek:
 
trainman1957 said:
I recently had my prostate removed do to cancer. My doctor told me it might be sometime until I am able to get an erection if ever. It is what it is. I still want to be able to pleasure a woman orally. My question is how do I approach a woman and tell her I can only have oral sex with her? Have any ladies ever had this offer? Kind of embarrassing.
Click to expand...

In the same boat with millions like you. My solution to the problem:

https://www.adwdiabetes.com/product/1235/encore-battery-operated-vacuum-device

encore-otc-battery.jpg


It works a treat; willing to share more info if desired.
 
To the OP. Your profile says that you're 59. The fact of life is that men your age, even without the prostate surgery, can start developing ED as the years progress through your 60's and 70's. I read somewhere that about 30% of men in their 60's are taking Viagra or some other sort of meds. As women get older, they also start having issues with vaginal dryness and other things that hinder their "standard sex" activity. More older people become more dependent on oral or vibrators and such. If you are interested in women your own age, then they should probably be ready to accept that sex at that age isn't line it was when they were 30. Compromises have to be made on both sides. If she's interested in YOU as a person, she'll probably be willing if not happy to experiment with all sorts of sexual games. If she's just looking for "sex" by the standard definition of "fucking" then she'll probably be scouring the bars for younger guys anyway. If you're getting into your 60's and you think a 25 year old is going to be interested in you, she's probably more interested in your fat wallet than your fat cock. Good luck and keep positive.
 
Trainman1957 me too due to prostrate cancer, had radiation and hormone therapy, the problem is the radiation does a number on erections and hormones on your libido. You cant have testosterone therapy for a least 5 yrs. Dude i an 68 ...
 
For what it's worth I have literally hundreds of IM's and emails detailing exactly what you are going through and then telling me they stumbled on my G-SPOT thread - ""TRY THIS and REPORT BACK"" and ever since then NEVER worried about getting an erection or not. And more importantly NEITHER DID SHE!!!!
 
amofiga said:
To the OP. Your profile says that you're 59. The fact of life is that men your age, even without the prostate surgery, can start developing ED as the years progress through your 60's and 70's. I read somewhere that about 30% of men in their 60's are taking Viagra or some other sort of meds. As women get older, they also start having issues with vaginal dryness and other things that hinder their "standard sex" activity. More older people become more dependent on oral or vibrators and such. If you are interested in women your own age, then they should probably be ready to accept that sex at that age isn't line it was when they were 30. Compromises have to be made on both sides. If she's interested in YOU as a person, she'll probably be willing if not happy to experiment with all sorts of sexual games. If she's just looking for "sex" by the standard definition of "fucking" then she'll probably be scouring the bars for younger guys anyway. If you're getting into your 60's and you think a 25 year old is going to be interested in you, she's probably more interested in your fat wallet than your fat cock. Good luck and keep positive.
Click to expand...
That is a fantastic reply 👍🏼
 
I first developed ED about a dozen years ago, and it was damned weird. One night I was jerking off and it was as hard as it had ever been, the next night nothing. In the time that has past, I've had exactly three honest to gosh hard ons. Most of the time the best I can manage is half hard. I've tried Viagra and the other meds for it but nothing has worked.

I dated my last gf for eight years. I made it clear to her from the start what my problem was. She wasn't too sure about how our sex life would turn out but I managed to show her a dick wasn't necessary. My fingers, lips, and tongue were all she needed. She was beyond a screamer. She was a shrieker. I miss our nights together sometimes.

If there's a good side to my own ED, it's that I don't have to be fully hard to orgasm. I can still be made to get off by hand or mouth and the orgasms feel just as good as when I could get fully erect. But dang, I sure miss my little buddy.
 
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