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The Official Authors' Hangout April Fool's 2018 Support Thread

Going to proofread both of mine one last time, and submit them. May the odds be ever in my favor!
 
16k words in and just written the first actual sex scene and the first chupacabras attack - they merge along with the first troll scene. Don't think it'll be ready for the 1st but the vampire battle is great! So long and adios to the local chapter of Romance Writers of America. This'll teach you to believe that vampire Romance nonsense. Suckers!
 
Mine is done, and I've found someone to edit it too. Hope to have it ready for submission mid contest
 
Maybe it's just me but I think the April Fools' Day contest is the most difficult contest to create, develop, and write a believable story.

Is anyone finding this to be a difficult contest?

Thank God for incestuous sex (lol). Readers are willing to believe anything written as long as a mother is having sex with her son. I can write the same old shitty story while inserting...April Fools!

Just wondering. Lets see a show of hands. How many are entering the April Fools' Day contest?

Hmm, just as I expected, the amount of stories being entered are much lower than the Valentine's Day and Christmas contest.

How many are having a Hell of a time finding a idea for a story? How many are not entering the April Fools' Day contest?

Wow! That's a lot of hands in the air.

My advice, with no ulterior motive in mind, is that you should all not bother to enter the April Fools' Day contest and concentrate your efforts on Nude Day. Yeah. Don't worry. I'll enter an April Fools' Day contest story on your behalf. Okay?

(I figure if no one else enters a contest story, I'll be sure to win, first, second, and third prize. Yet, if four people enter the contest story, I'm sure to lose. Oh, well. I tried. I can fool some of the people some of the time but I can't fool all of the people all of the time.)
 
I'm enjoying this contest story. I find April Fools relatively easy to come up with a story for. Anything with a trick ending of some sort. And this one has me rolling around laughing while I'm writing it. Just hope I get it finished in time.
 
SusanJillParker said:
Maybe it's just me but I think the April Fools' Day contest is the most difficult contest to create, develop, and write a believable story.

Is anyone finding this to be a difficult contest?
Click to expand...


I used to think it was the hardest and thought I'd never enter it. But now it's the one I most enjoy coming up with ideas for. If you widen the concepts of deceit and and twists from practical jokes, there are many bunnies jumping around. My entry for this year is about placebo.
 
ChloeTzang said:
I'm enjoying this contest story. I find April Fools relatively easy to come up with a story for. Anything with a trick ending of some sort. And this one has me rolling around laughing while I'm writing it. Just hope I get it finished in time.
Click to expand...

A trick ending? I don't think someone burning my ass with a lit cigarette is a trick ending or very funny. It's painful.

Perhaps, because I don't think that sex is funny is the reason why I'm having such a difficult time.

Seriously, with all the rope burns from being bound naked to the bed, the wax burns from melted candle wax, nipple clamps, butt plugs, and welts from the paddle, there's nothing funny about sex.

Then, as if I'm an animal, a dirty dog, there's the embarrassment, the shame, and the humiliation to be forced to walk around in public naked with a dog collar around my neck and a leash.

Seriously, other than, you know who, grabbing pussies and having sex with porn stars and with his daughter, does anyone enjoy having sex?

I don't know. Maybe I'm burned out from writing about sex. Maybe I should write a story about religion, God, and the life in the after world but Victoria and Joel Osteen won't answer my e-mails. They said that I was sexually harassing them.
 
Well there's a fair amount of religion in mine, as well as sex, monsters and guns.
 
ChloeTzang said:
Well there's a fair amount of religion in mine, as well as sex, monsters and guns.
Click to expand...

That's very interesting. Monsters with guns while having sex.

So...your April Fools' Day story is about...the NRA?

Cool.

Charlton Heston would be proud of you.
 
SusanJillParker said:
That's very interesting. Monsters with guns while having sex.

So...your April Fools' Day story is about...the NRA?

Cool.

Charlton Heston would be proud of you.
Click to expand...

Charlton Heston will wish he was along on this one. The NRA does not feature. A few of these guns are illegal.
 
I find myself disappointed. I was under the impression Chloe was going to relive her RL crotch faceplant on the ski slopes for us. (pout)

For myself, I am bound and determined that I will have this entry complete and submitted before the contest closes! For, after all, I am Puck! And if all of this fabulousness can fuck up Valentine's Day, surely the mind boggles at just what I can fuck up on April Fools!

Although... yeah, okay. I've deleted mine about twelve times now and gone back at the same premise from a blank screen.

But, I shall persevere! For I am the mighty Puck! And nothing shall stop me from Pucking around! Nothing, I say!

Er... Well, maybe a toilet seat falling from a deteriorating space station...

Well, crap. And I was going to use something similar for the coitus interruptus right when the prankster thought he was going to get lucky...

Back to the drawing board.
 
PuckIt said:
I find myself disappointed. I was under the impression Chloe was going to relive her RL crotch faceplant on the ski slopes for us. (pout)
Click to expand...

No faceplants, just the true faith and guns ... put your faith in the Lord and .308 rounds travelling at 2700fps. There is no cease firing in this story. There is only reload ... and that goes for the sex as well as the guns :D

.... And here is Chloe the Believer giving her sermon....

Second gear, third and we were losing them in our dust, thank fucking Jesus Christ and yeah, I’m fucking religious. I’ve seen things I’d never have fucking believed when I was a kid and I may not be the most religious fucking person in the world, but I’m a total fucking believer coz there better be a fucking God if there’s shit like some of those fucking monsters. Besides, that crucifix I had sizzled way back when it hit that first fucking vampire.

I’ve been going to mass every Sunday I could, ever since that first vamp and hey, I may be living in sin and shit, but I make sure I apologize to fucking God and beg for fucking forgiveness and shit ‘n I do that fucking religiously coz I tell you, I know. It’s not just insurance. When you see some of the shit Steve ‘n I have seen, you fucking believe! So yeah, it may sound like I was swearing but I was absolutely fucking praying to fucking God and to fucking Jesus right from the bottom of my fucking heart as we tore down that road like we were being chased by a fucking bat outa hell. Coz those things chasing us, they were far more scary than a bat outa hell. That's what I thought then, anyhow.
 
After several false starts I have completed and submitted a one-Lit-page entry.

Anon is sure to comment that one page stories are too short. But Anon seems to forget to read my fifty-word stories.
 
Man! I started this one the moment VD was closed to submissions. Well, almost. I did give myself two days of "crash and burn."

And I was actually almost finished at one point, but wiped it out and started over from a blank screen because it just wasn't good enough.

But, damn it. I'm gonna follow Chloe's lead and break out the coffee if I have to. "Prank War" is going to be slapped up against anyone's screen with the poor taste to peek inside before the final day for submissions.

And... uh... okay, so it might help if I would get the fuck off the forums and write...:eek:
 
RubenR said:
For me, 'Nude Day' is the most difficult contest. Nudity is certainly not my thing, and I find it very hard to relate to.
Click to expand...

Same.

EXCEPT! Inspiration struck during my April Fools story, and now the Nude Day one is nearly there.

Funny what happens sometimes.
 
Has anyone else noticed the number of reads have declined over the past couple of years?

I remember when my stories were routinely receiving six figure hits. Now, I'm lucky to get 30,000. I remember posting stories that had 850k hits and 650k hits respectively within 30 days.

Are readers going elsewhere? Is our readership dwindling, dying off, and being replaced by illiterate Millenniums on cellphones who don't read or who don't have the time to read?

Seemingly, no one reads anymore. Before I started writing, all that I did is read. When in college, I was reading two books a day just to keep up with the course load. I have all these books that I'm going to have to give away because books have become obsolete.

Maybe people are too busy talking, watching Amazon TV, and Netflixs on their phones to read.
 
Enjoy the games everyone! Good luck with your submission(s)! Hurry Chloe! :)
 
It's only views that are lighter. There's little to no change in the number of votes/comments/favorites. That's why everyone's vote per view percentages are well above historical norms.

Traffic records are the same as they've always been on Alexa. No decline.

Put that all together, and it spells a change to the way views are tallied rather than any actual decline in readership. Most likely, the bot and spider filters have been updated to remove more noise from the number, so it reflects a higher percentage of actual humans opening the story than it did in the past.

SusanJillParker said:
Has anyone else noticed the number of reads have declined over the past couple of years?

I remember when my stories were routinely receiving six figure hits. Now, I'm lucky to get 30,000. I remember posting stories that had 850k hits and 650k hits respectively within 30 days.

Are readers going elsewhere? Is our readership dwindling, dying off, and being replaced by illiterate Millenniums on cellphones who don't read or who don't have the time to read?

Seemingly, no one reads anymore. Before I started writing, all that I did is read. When in college, I was reading two books a day just to keep up with the course load. I have all these books that I'm going to have to give away because books have become obsolete.

Maybe people are too busy talking, watching Amazon TV, and Netflixs on their phones to read.
Click to expand...
 
ChloeTzang said:
Writes frantically.... only 20k words to go .... pant pant
Click to expand...

Your panting tells me that you're no breathing. Don't rush. Take your time. Rushed writing is never any good.

Inspired writing is always the best. Inspired writing is never rushed. Inspired writing always flows in the way of a river. What you don't want to do is to write in a panic as if you're going over a waterfall.

"Relax. Take a breath. Close your eyes and breath deeply. Relax. Breathe.

Now, think of your story. Allow your brain to percolate your story as you relax.

Breathe. Breathe deeply. Relax.

Okay, now go and write. Good luck with your story."
 
RejectReality said:
It's only views that are lighter. There's little to no change in the number of votes/comments/favorites. That's why everyone's vote per view percentages are well above historical norms.

Traffic records are the same as they've always been on Alexa. No decline.

Put that all together, and it spells a change to the way views are tallied rather than any actual decline in readership. Most likely, the bot and spider filters have been updated to remove more noise from the number, so it reflects a higher percentage of actual humans opening the story than it did in the past.
Click to expand...

Interesting. That explains a lot. Thank you for clarifying that for me.

I have noticed my voting percentages climb from .05% to 3 to 5%.
 
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