Interracial (BWWM)

I just started this. I tend to write non-linear, so this might be a beginning, middle, or end. I invite comments:

She was at the mirror, touching up her hair, when he walked behind her, grabbed her breasts with one hand and slid the other down her belly to her trouser top.

“Why you gotta be so fresh?” Her voice was different than usually was. Normally she was gruff, strong, something that white people said was aggressive, but now it had a whine, and she dragged out the word “fresh”.

He didn’t answer. Instead, he just moved his hands into her pants.

“Why you gotta do that? Don’t you want to see the movie?” She was whining more. “Why you gotta be so fresh?”

He reached his goal and gently kneaded her pussy. He loved how her pubic hair felt, not like any white woman’s. He wouldn’t lie, the attraction wasn’t despite her being black. He did not believe that her being black didn’t matter. Her blackness mattered, it mattered so very much because without her blackness, she would no longer be herself, and that was what he really wanted: Her, every bit of her just as she was.

“I’ve got to be ‘fresh’ because there’s a diamond ring in my pocket and I want you unable to say ‘no’ when I get on my knee and ask you to marry me.” He kissed her neck and slid his fingers along her pussy crack.

She moaned and reached back to grab his crotch.

Revision already:

She was at the mirror in jeans and bra, touching up her wig, when he walked behind her, pushed his right hand into her bra and slid the other down her belly to her waistband.

“Why you gotta be so fresh?” Normally, her voice was forceful and strong, something that white people might call "aggressive", but now it was very feminine, almost with a whine, and she dragged out the word “fresh”.

He didn’t answer. Instead, he just moved his left hand into her pants.

“Why you gotta do that? Don’t you want to see the movie?” She was whining more. “Why you gotta be so fresh?”

He reached his goal and gently kneaded her pussy. He loved how her pubic hair felt, not like any white woman’s. He had never lied to himself about it, the attraction wasn’t despite her being black. He did not believe that her being black didn’t matter. Her blackness mattered, it mattered so very much because without her blackness, she would no longer be herself, and what he really wanted was her, every bit of her just as she was.

“I’ve got to be ‘fresh’ because there’s a diamond ring in my pocket and I want you unable to say ‘no’ when I get on my knee and ask you to marry me.” He kissed her neck and slid his fingers along her pussy crack.

She moaned and reached back to grab his dick through his pants.

Looks like a generic "let's stay in instead" sex scene. Had nothing to do with BWWWM/Interracial that you claimed.

I'm pretty sure you're supposed to post a PREMISE or even HIGH CONCEPT here. You don't have a story idea. You have a fragment.

KayceeCharles said:

Looks like a generic "let's stay in instead" sex scene. Had nothing to do with BWWWM/Interracial that you claimed.

I'm pretty sure you're supposed to post a PREMISE or even HIGH CONCEPT here. You don't have a story idea. You have a fragment.

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I didn't realize that I had to fetishize everything for it to qualify as BWWM. Evidently, the reality of BWWM sex isn't really BWWM sex, since this vignette was based on my own life.

Let me guess, she wasn't "black enough" for you?

I've been chastised that my story about a Chinese guy and a Colombian girl was NOT interracial, but merely erotic coupling.

Apparently "interracial" had to involve some taboo aspects of racial relationships. I'm just telling you what other people tell me.

Remember, advice here is free. And it's worth exactly what you paid for it.

It *is* but a fragment. If it's the opening of the tale, it's intriguing, and calls for backstory. As for IR, this fragment is too short to see any cultural tension -- that comes with the larger story, with context. What are their social statuses? Do their families object? Are there rivals from their communities? What will their love cost them? Which begs the setting: when and where are we? 1960 Memphis and 2015 Seattle give entirely different backdrops.

Well, 2015 Indiana is where the events it's based on happened, and it's still 100% BWWM/interracial. The basis for "her" is my wife, who is currently naked and sleeping next to me. She's as dark as a black woman gets, and I'm as pasty as a white boy gets.

However, some feedback is giving me ideas where to go.

Her family objects, his doesn't. The objections are based on him being an "oppressor". But her kids are okay with him being white--they just object to him "replacing" their father in her mother's affections. I guess it's more erotic fiction than porn.

Maybe you should tell us the story of how you two, despite mutual family objections, learned to love each other. Unless you just want to write erotica?

I hate to repeat this, but Diane Galbaldan (author of the wildly popular Outlander series) wrote that sex scenes are really dialog scenes with a special subset of body language.

How did you find each other? How much objection did you encounter? Do you want to tell that story? To make the story interracial, you pretty much have to bring the racial/cultural taboo into the story, so you have to tell us at least a part of it.

KayceeCharles said:

I hate to repeat this, but Diane Galbaldan (author of the wildly popular Outlander series) wrote that sex scenes are really dialog scenes with a special subset of body language.

How did you find each other? How much objection did you encounter? Do you want to tell that story? To make the story interracial, you pretty much have to bring the racial/cultural taboo into the story, so you have to tell us at least a part of it.

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Isn't the Gabaldon statement pretty much a well-known truism? I'm getting the impression, though, that the expectation is that race must be fetishized--people in interracial erotic and romantic relations aren't permitted to actually be human. They're just mannequins to hang the gear on.

coastalbender said:

Isn't the Gabaldon statement pretty much a well-known truism? I'm getting the impression, though, that the expectation is that race must be fetishized--people in interracial erotic and romantic relations aren't permitted to actually be human. They're just mannequins to hang the gear on.

Click to expand...

The expectation isn't so much that race must be fetishized any time people from differing ethnic backgrounds hop into bed, but rather that readers of different categories have certain expectations they want met for those categories, and the suggestions given are to help you avoid getting your story 1-bombed and trolled to hell and back for not delivering on those expectations.

You can put interracial romance into virtually any category here on LIT with varying degrees of success. Half the Loving Wives readership will crucify you no matter what; an ethnically diverse girl/girl pairing in Lesbian Sex isn't likely to raise anybody's eyebrows. However, the Interracial category itself attracts readers who expect the racial aspect to be the primary fetish of the story. Stories in IR thrive when the racial component of the sex is a big deal and of major concern to the plot. The drama and conflict surrounding such a pairing is what gets them off in that category, not the fact the main characters don't share a skin tone.

I wouldn't say fetishized, but more like race being a major component of the relationship.

There's always the joke that once you turn off the lights race doesn't matter, but there's obviously some component of social pressure in the relationship. Or is that somewhat taboo aspect that makes the relationship more exciting?