ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

chris9 · Nov 25, 2005

Why is it that no one seems to want cyber with me? I changed my AV to something with little clothes and back to art just to be interesting. But since I'm here I only had like two or three pm me for sex. One was very nice about me not wanting and we had a great chat over an evening. The others just asked if I was there. I wasn't. End of attempt.

INSIDEYOURMIND · Nov 25, 2005

graceanne said:
I talked to soon when I said I don't get a lot of morons emailing and PMing me.

Today I got a PM from someone or the other. First of all he couldn't remember who I was or where he'd seen me. I refrained from asking if he generally adds people to his IM list when he doesn't know who they are. Then we had hte normal conversation we have when someone who's looking to cyber PM's me. I clearly told him I don't cyber, and I'm owned, etc. So he was like 'well I don't want to cyber, I want you to serve me sexually'. I didn't answer him, so he asked 'what do you think about that'. All I said was 'no'. Then he was like 'well then you're not what i'm looking for'. I TOLD HIM THAT! GRR

Then i said bye, he said bye, and I thought the conversation was over.

But a few seconds later he PM's me asking if I wear panties. Then he wants me to take a pair of my panties, masturbate in them, and mail them to him. THEN he gets cranky when I say no. Says 'Sorry, I can't do anything with you.'

WELL, DUH!

Go to the store, buy the biggest pair of granny panties you can find, put a load of dog shit in them, and ship them, they should be ripe just about the time he gets them.

He will probably not PM you again...................

graceanne · Nov 25, 2005

INSIDEYOURMIND said:
Go to the store, buy the biggest pair of granny panties you can find, put a load of dog shit in them, and ship them, they should be ripe just about the time he gets them.

He will probably not PM you again...................[/SIZE][/COLOR]

hehehe

Oh, that'd be hilarious.

graceanne · Nov 25, 2005

chris9 said:
Why is it that no one seems to want cyber with me? I changed my AV to something with little clothes and back to art just to be interesting. But since I'm here I only had like two or three pm me for sex. One was very nice about me not wanting and we had a great chat over an evening. The others just asked if I was there. I wasn't. End of attempt.

I'll cyber with you baby. *leers*

chris9 · Nov 25, 2005

graceanne said:
I'll cyber with you baby. *leers*

Are you a man?

But thanks, gracie :kiss:

graceanne · Nov 25, 2005

chris9 said:
Are you a man? But thanks, gracie

Well, aren't we picky. First you wanna cyber and now it has to be a man? *sigh*

You're welcome. :kiss:

chris9 · Nov 25, 2005

graceanne said:
Well, aren't we picky. First you wanna cyber and now it has to be a man? *sigh*

You're welcome.

I don't want cyber. I want some asshat to pm me for cyber, not accept my 'no', amuse me for a while and give me something to post here

@}-}rebecca---- · Nov 25, 2005

INSIDEYOURMIND said:
Go to the store, buy the biggest pair of granny panties you can find, put a load of dog shit in them, and ship them, they should be ripe just about the time he gets them.

He will probably not PM you again...................

OMG !!!!This is the last time I eat my breakfast while reading the Boards here in Lit. Here is another scary thought what if he reallllllllllllllllllllllllly likes the aforementioned 'cure' shudders ~ 6.49am here ~

graceanne · Nov 25, 2005

chris9 said:
I don't want cyber. I want some asshat to pm me for cyber, not accept my 'no', amuse me for a while and give me something to post here

Ah, I see.

ghosst_K&H · Nov 25, 2005

I never get PM's or cyber chat invitations, so I don't have any to post :nana:

FurryFury · Nov 25, 2005

chris9 said:
Why is it that no one seems to want cyber with me? I changed my AV to something with little clothes and back to art just to be interesting. But since I'm here I only had like two or three pm me for sex. One was very nice about me not wanting and we had a great chat over an evening. The others just asked if I was there. I wasn't. End of attempt.

Awww!

Hey baby I think you're HOT!

Wanna cyber?

*c*

Fury :rose:

FurryFury · Nov 25, 2005

ghosst_K&H said:
I never get PM's or cyber chat invitations, so I don't have any to post

Wanna cyber?

*giggles*

Come on, never say never. I don't like folks to feel let out ya know.

Fury :rose:

graceanne · Nov 25, 2005

FurryFury said:
Awww!

Hey baby I think you're HOT!

Wanna cyber?

*c*

Fury

Hey! I got to her first! She's mine!

FurryFury · Nov 25, 2005

INSIDEYOURMIND said:
Go to the store, buy the biggest pair of granny panties you can find, put a load of dog shit in them, and ship them, they should be ripe just about the time he gets them.

He will probably not PM you again...................

YUCK!

LMAO!

But I'm so freaking paranoid I'd be worried about my post mark! Anyway, I don't go to that much trouble for people I don't ever like.

Fury

FurryFury · Nov 25, 2005

graceanne said:
Hey! I got to her first! She's mine!

A.) I don't mind sharing Beautiful Graceanne!

B.) I can play a guy REALLY well.

*smirks*

Fury :rose:

But...I practically NEVER cyber anymore...

chris9 · Nov 25, 2005

Awwwww, that's so sweet of both of you :rose:

*big kisses and hugs*

Still you are both women. And this thread is no PM. And I know your online-identities.

graceanne · Nov 25, 2005

FurryFury said:
YUCK!

LMAO!

But I'm so freaking paranoid I'd be worried about my post mark! Anyway, I don't go to that much trouble for people I don't ever like.

Fury

Yeah, me either. But it's funny to think about.

FurryFury · Nov 25, 2005

chris9 said:
Awwwww, that's so sweet of both of you
*big kisses and hugs*

Still you are both women. And this thread is no PM. And I know your online-identities.

Right back atcha sweetie!

Fury :rose:

FurryFury · Nov 25, 2005

graceanne said:
Yeah, me either. But it's funny to think about.

Agreed!

LOL!

Fury :rose:

graceanne · Nov 26, 2005

Geez what is it with this week? So I got home from the birthday party, and their's an offline. It said:

Hey.

So, you don't serve online?

FurryFury · Nov 26, 2005

graceanne said:
Geez what is it with this week? So I got home from the birthday party, and their's an offline. It said:

Hey.

So, you don't serve online?

Sure you do.

Serve them their heads, online...LOL!

(It is turkey time you know...)

Fury :rose:

Kajira Callista · Nov 26, 2005

ghosst_K&H said:
I never get PM's or cyber chat invitations, so I don't have any to post

i wonder how many PMs this post got ya :catroar:

snowy ciara · Nov 26, 2005

I'm too afraid of the Sweetdommes to mess with ghost! But I've added rebecca, chris9, brioche, shy and fury to my to do list. KC was already there, yano? :cathappy:

I wonder if tealsphynx will let me send a pm to draggie?

FurryFury · Nov 26, 2005

snowy ciara said:
I'm too afraid of the Sweetdommes to mess with ghost! But I've added rebecca, chris9, brioche, shy and fury to my to do list. KC was already there, yano? I wonder if tealsphynx will let me send a pm to draggie?

LMAO!

Nice to be on someone's "To Do" list.

Fury :rose:

snowy ciara · Nov 26, 2005

ROFL... I was going to lament my lack of asshat pms. But then I logged into collarme, so I could read the message boards.... Here is what my profile says:

myself said:
Hi.

I'm not looking for romance. I'm not looking for a booty call. I'm not looking for a Master. I have to register and fill out a profile in order to view and participate on the message boards. The message boards have been recommended by some of my friends who are active there already. Please do not contact me looking for any sort of hook up.

Astute readers will notice that I used 90210 for my zip, and Maine for state, and Townsville for my city. So which of these is correct? None of them. My location is irrelevent to you as I am not looking for a hook up.

I do not do cam. I do not do cyber. I do not do phone, and I do not do pics. Do not ask me for these things. You will not get them.

I get:

"Hi. Ware U at?"

me: "My location is irrelevent as I am not looking for a hook-up. "

asshat: "Not lookin' for a hook. Call me. " He then gave me his number.

Me: "Congratulations wienie. You have made the number 16 spot on my blocked user list."

I get a pm from ANOTHER user name. Same guy, as he quoted my last response.

"Whatz U problem? Why cant U b nice to me? U don't wanna a Master?"

Me: "Of course I want a Master someday, asshat. If you find one, please feel free to make another username and let me know! Until then, I'm blocking this one, too."

From a THIRD profile, this one identifying himself as a switch mtf trans:

"I can maek U hapy. Don't make a Master beg. Itz not nize."

By this time, I'm laughing so hard it hurts, and I've got tears streaming down my cheeks. I laughed so hard I twinged something in my knee. My mother comes in and I show her the PM's and she's dying. I'm so glad I can share this shi- er stuff with her!

I respond. "OMG, you're killing me here! I'm laughing so hard I gotta pee. My mum's laughing her ass off. She thinks you're cute. Look, I'm going to put this name on ignore too; so when you switch names and contact me again just give me a list of all yourselves and make it easy on us both."

I haven't heard from him yet.

ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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