A psychiatrist's Tale (Dr's office is OPEN)

Amber never felt so good from anyone touching her since she has gotten back from ‘Over there’ She loved the way the Kendra felt in her arms. She was like a small cuddly bear, the ones that you just love to hug and never let go. Amber also noticed that kind of perfume she was wearing she has smelled it before from one of her upper class fitness sessions. It was Heaven that was the name of the perfume. A five hundred dollar bottle of perfume made it one of the best out there. It made her smell good, but as she stated in her mind earlier that it also made you want to relax. Amber nodded her understanding of what Kendra was saying to her.

When Kendra tightened her embrace Amber felt the woman’s breast pushing against her chest. Amber slightly pulled back for this was the first time she ever noted feeling a woman’s breast during a hug. She got a lot of hugs during her CIA years by rescued victims or some other reason but never did she noticed their breast, but here she noticed a few things in just a short while but the one she is getting now shocked her, She wanted to feel the woman’s firm breast against her.

She pulled the doctor back into her arms and held her close. The breasts were solid against Ambers small but firm ones. She lowered her head back down to Kendra's shoulder. But then she had an urge deep down, one she never had before but wanted to act upon it. She buried her face into the Doc’s nape and began kissing her, nibbling at the flesh. Biting her soft skin. Her breathing became rapid and Amber moved her hand up and grabbed the Doc by her hair and guided her head to expose more skin to Amber’s mauling mouth.. She realized what she was doing and pushed herself away from Kendra.. “My God, I’m so sorry. I just felt so good in your arms.. Please forgive me..” Amber stood up shocked…

Kendra was pretty tall for her petite frame, making her look slimmer ever more. She's indeed considered a fine class of a woman but Amber also had a way about her that was captivating. Kendra noticed how strong Amber was and knowing it was another girl who was hugging her, she found some comfort that she often found in men while hugging them. The strength and the warmth, it all was there.

Living a luxurious life, everything about her was finely picked; starting from her designer dress to her eye liner and even her perfume. Only was fine lady would take notice. Other would only look at these things from surface. Though, Kendra wasn't trying to show off, it was just how she was used to, being able to live large. It was also one of the reason why she cut down her officer hours to only few days and also decided to work from her home office. If Amber found comfort by being around her, th doctor was going to prescribe just that. It was clear that Amber was understanding what she was saying, being on the same page, she liked that about her as a patient.

Receptive is an important key factor in how these patients gets better. Some sooner and some later. It would depend on how receptive they are to treatments. Kendra did have small pert breasts on her petite frame and so, even she felt her breasts pushing into Amber's torso. She noticed how Amber continued to hug her as if never wanting to let go. Kendra continued to speak earlier but finally had slowed down, feeling Amber lower down her head onto her shoulder and this time, placing her wet lips on the nape of her neck. It wasn't just brushing off but a firm placement for a few seconds before she actually started to kiss and nuzzle into her, finally nibbling. When she bit her soft flesh and found her hand being dug into Kendra's soft and silky hair, she felt her yank her head back to expose her neck even further. Even Kendra was shocked, taking a few seconds to gather her thoughts before speaking, "Don't worry about it Amber. Tell me, I am curious. Have you been in a relationship or gotten physically involved with someone ever since this happened to you?" Kendra asked her curiously, placing her hand on Amber's shoulders, "Don't worry...I am not mad. I want to help you get better and if that means, allowing you to do what you like."

Amber looked at Kendra when asked if she had been with someone since being raped. “No, I haven’t been with anyone, and what do you mean what I like? Are you implying that I like women? I….” Amber takes a step back… “No, I’m not gay… I just felt comfortable… Umm …” She backs away more… “I think I better go… I don’t think this is working.” Amber backed away until she hit the wall knocking down a diploma. “Shit, Look this isn’t working I cant do this. I can’t keep going over there!”

Amber closes her eyes and lowers he head, “Look, I’m sorry I assaulted you and if you wish to file charges I understand.”

She wanted to run to the door but her legs would not take her there. “I don’t think I need this, I haven’t suffered this much pain of remembering since I got back. I don’t want to remember! And talking about it only makes things worse for I relieve that rape! Do you know how many times I had to swallow their cum, How many times I had to suck their dirty cocks, They fucked me so hard that I was gagging in my throat, My ass was impaled by one and the other one was up my pussy. They pinched, bite, slapped, …. Damn it! You go and get the worse BDSM movie you can find and that was fucking me!” She trembled, “How in the hell can reliving that pain help me” the tears steamed down her face.

“I have to go..” Amber wiped her tears…. “Thanks for the pain..” She walked out the door…

It was late and Amber was awoken by the dreams from over there, She remembered Kendra telling her that she could call anytime if she needed her… She picked up the phone, wiped her eyes for she couldn’t see the numbers .. She got a recording when it went beep. “Amber crying her eyes out begged that she needed help that she needed someone now.. She even went to say that why cant god just kill me..” the phone went dead…

Kendra didn't imply on her preference for sex but merely a question to see if she had actually someone with whom she was in a relationship with. With that information, she would ask more questions but it was clear that Amber was single and obviously hadn't been with anyone since the attack on her. She shook her head no, "NO...No Amber. I am not implying that. I was just asking and it would help me understand what you are going through. I don't want you to be living like this all your life, going through the torture over and again every time you get close to someone." Sh claimed and stepped forward, but at the same time, Amber bumped into the wall behind her.

"You don't have to. You don't have to go back there. We are moving forward. I want you to move forward but sometimes, it's better to take a step back before leaping forward so you are barred from everything that pulls you down." She scoffed and tried moving further but it was obvious that Amber had put her guards up and pulling them down would be too risky. The doctor held her hands up high, "Okay...I am not going to touch you. I am standing right here. And I am not going to file any charges. You need help." Kendra said and looked at her

Kendra watched as Amber started letting out, even though it was through her anger. "We don't have to talk about it. Not if you don't want to. Just relax. Come here. Take a seat." She said but stood there because Amber didn't move and went on about telling the doctor what had happened to her a bit in details. "Wait...." She said and watched Amber run out of her office. Kendra knew she'd lost her, at least for now, but she would approach her again if Amber didn't take the initiative on her own.

Kendra went on about taking notes and then when she was done with her office hours, she decided to do some chores around her place. Once done, she decided to hit the shower and it was a little after 7:30 in the evening. She thought she'd heard her cell phone ring so when she was out of the bathroom, she checked the voicemail. Hearing Amber on the other side, she knew it was bad and then those words where she mentioned of herself getting hurt, asking God to just kill her. She quickly called Amber back and after a short conversation, Kendra convinced the girl to relax and when relaxed, she asked her to get up and get dressed. She told her that they were going out for a dinner and that Kendra was going to pick her up in approximately 30 minutes. She was receptive towards her proposal and Kendra knew that Amber needed just this. She needed to feel normal again and that's what she was going to give her. So once she was ready in a pretty dress, she drove down to Amber's place and then called her, "Hey...I am here. Downstairs. Come on down. Don't make me come up there." She said and smiled, trying to lighten up her mood. (Picture to come)

Amber put her face into her hands and tied to block the images, the sounds, the smells; everything from over there but her guards were not working anymore. She looked over at the clock and realized that she only had a few minutes left before Kendra would be getting here.

She walked into the shower the images of over there attacked her mind of the water boarding interrogation. She screamed as the water flowed down over her nose and mouth. She began swinging her arms around trying to get way from the men, but the shattering of the glass brought her back she slide down the wall and came to rest on he shower floor where she began to cry.

She heard the phone the phone ringing with a grunt she pushed herself up the wall and walked over and answered the phone. "Yeah!" She smiled at the Doc's threat "We don't want that to happen."

She didn’t look that well but she didn’t care she just needed someone she could relax with and so far Kendra was the one that could do it. She made her way down stairs and walked out to the car. “Sorry so casual… I ..” She didn’t say anything but took a seat in the car and looked over at Kendra.. “You look amazing.” She smiled but the she pulled her eyes away and looked out the window. Somewhat ashamed for the phone call she made. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you. I know it's off the clock and all.” she whispered ..

She hoped she wouldn’t lose her temper again like this afternoon. She just can go back and she knew that Kendra had too, but Amber just couldn’t follow. She just wanted Kendra to talk with about anything except over there or anything that dealt with her job back then. She knew that this was going to be a very short dinner, for she really wasn’t in the mood to talk, Kendra did a great job on the phone in calming her down that was all she needed but the doc wanted to see her so her she is..

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Kendra waited in her car and while waiting, she took out her pink lip gloss from her purse and applied some to her lips. It wasn’t long after when she heard clicks of someone’s heels, she turned her head to look at Amber walk down the stairs of her apartment, making her way towards Kendra’s fancy two doors benz. It was black in color with tinted windows. She offered a warm smile watching Amber enter her car and take a seat.

She cocked her eyebrow at her, “Casual? No. You are dressed perfect. I was thinking I had overdressed but glad you matched me. I won’t feel out of place now.” She said and smiled at her, “Thank you for the compliment but so do you.” She said and nodded at her. Kendra wasn’t going to mention Amber calling her and the reason behind it. It was pretty obvious and asking her would only remind Amber about the bad things that haunted her, fill her with embarrassments.

She nodded no, “It’s not a problem at all. I told you, you can call me anytime.” She said and pulled out of the parking spot and started to drive down the streets. “And it’s not off the clock. I will charge your insurance. Don’t you worry.” She smirked and smiled at her, teasing her to lighten up her mood.

She glanced over at Amber and saw how she was looking outside the window. It said a lot. Kendra softly spoke again, “So any idea where we should go eat? Something light or you want full on dinner? I am okay with either and the choice is yours.” She said and smiled at her, looking at Amber curiously. Driving around the downtown, she continued to look ahead and for a possible place they can go to. “Perhaps a lounge where they serve light snacks and some drinks?” She asked as she saw the board for a lounge called ‘Sensation.’

Amber smiled “Well I didn’t think shorts and a tank top could get me into the places that you eat.” She didn’t know why this woman made her feel safe but she did, she was also the only one that has managed to tear down her guard and allowed the memories to come back. She didn’t know if that was a good thing, but Kendra was a skilled specialist that must know what she is doing. It hurt so much, but as Kendra told her call and she would be there, and she was… Amber was hurting so much when she stormed out of Kendra’s office just some hour ago, but calling for help wasn’t always a wise thing to do.

A tear fell, “When we were pin downed by enemy snipers, we had to call for help and I was the one that was closest to the radio so I managed to get to the radio and called for an extraction driver and Mike was our driver. He came flying in there like I knew he would…. “ Amber gasped obviously watching it being replayed in her mind, “They must have intercepted our communication, for they brought over a heavy machine gun and just turned the car into Swiss cheese.” Amber closed her eyes, “So its not always safe to call for help.” She looked over at Kendra, “I know I don’t have to keep going back, but I feel safe with you.” Amber looked away quickly back out the window.. “Over there was the worse five years of my life. So many things happens in those lawless countries.”

“Sorry, I … I’m not really in the mood for a heavy dinner.” Amber coming back from over there. “So a light snack and a drink sounds good to me.” She offered. “Kendra, When you tear down someone’s walls that they put around those bad days, is it common practice to tear them down? And when they do fall, is it common that almost everything I look at or talk about triggers a memory. Like just a few minutes go I was thinking about me calling you for help and a memory..” She looked over to Kendra ..”Or do you not want to talk shop..” She forced a smile before looking back out the window.

Kendra smiled softly at her, “Well, I am glad you are wearing what you are. Looks good on you. Shows how feminine you are, oppose to what you had on earlier today.” She had seen her earlier in her work out clothes and had noticed how strong Amber was. Apparently, that didn’t save her when she was raped sometimes back. It was obvious that Amber must feel safe with her. That was good.

She turned her head ocasaionally towards Amber as she started telling her about an event, something of a memory that actually haunted her. She was at a very sensitive spot and Kendra knew better not to push too much. She reached with her hand to place it on top of Amber, squeezing it tight, “I can’t imagine what you must have gone through and how scared you would have been. But, let me assure you that you are safe now. You don’t need me to tell you that because I know you are stronger than that.”

She said as she nodded at Amber’s suggestion and pulled right into the parking lot of the lounge. She put the car into the parking and shifted to look at Amber, smiling softly, “Yes. It is a common practice. One must accept what has happened to actually move forward. Without it, you will be stuck in that loop and those memories would never leave you alone.” She said as she patted her shoulders, reaching forward, “How long you take to get there is totally up to you and it varies per case basis. I do want you to know that I am there for you. I want you to move past it all. And you coming out with me, tonight, is a step towards it. You have to feel normal and do what normal people do.” She said and smiled, “Now, shall we go in?” She said and smiled before opening her side of the door and then shut it, walking towards the passenger side of her car, waiting for her to get out.

Amber nodded that she understood what Kendra was saying to her and she was right. She was safe and these memories were only memories not the real thing anymore. The pain that comes with the memories she would have to just fight through them. She almost felt ashamed in even asking for the help now. It all made sense now on what she had to do, but what she didn’t get was why tear down a wall that was stopping the pain just to have to rebuild it? It was above her, but she knew what she had to do.

She was grateful for Kendra being there when she called but now she make sure that call will never be made again. She nodded once more about accepting what had happened and to slowly at her own pace move forward. She had done that already but instead of letting it fade she bottled it up and used it in her training sessions and what she used to keep motivated on the self defense. Channeling is the word that Amber was looking for that was what the internet recommended her to do when she was seeking help when she first got back. Now things will go better she inward smiled.

“Yes, Lets get something to drink.” She got out and stepped next to Kendra. “I haven’t done this in a very long time. I maybe puffing some dust clouds so be warned!” Amber chuckled for the very first time since she’s been back. “Oh btw Nice Car…” Ambers eyes were gleaming at the moment. She seemed like she was already having fun.. “ So, You have to give me the first dance!” She tapped Kendra on the shoulder with a loose fist.

Kendra was actually glad that Amber had reached out to her. The way she had ended the meeting earlier that day, walking out of her office, she knew it was a time bomb ticking, and can explore anytime. She knew that those issues should better be addressed or else it would only get worse over time. That wasn’t the bad part, what was, Amber wouldn’t be able to live her life to the fullest and would always live in fear. Now, no one should hold on to one event that happened in their life and move on OR at least try to.

She may have moved on but she still held on to some part it and that’s why she had bursts of recall of such memories. So ‘moving on’ really had different meaning and understanding to people. One would need guidance and someone to talk to and that’s what Amber was in need of. She needed to let herself be free and live in the past. So tonight was in attempt of that.

When Amber got out, Kendra smiled at her, “Clouds or not, we’re going to enjoy tonight so let’s not delay any further.” She said and smiled, watching Amber smile, “It’s good to see you smile.” She said taking not how good looked when smiling. “Thanks…” She said and looked at her car, walking towards the lounge, she ushered Amber inside where the atmosphere was more ambient and relaxing. “First dance? Deal! But I need to have some alcohol in me to relax.” She said as it was rarely that she went out to drink at lounge. Attending some event was pretty norm and then out with friends, that was another good reason but with her patient? If it was going to help her, she was willing to. So when inside, she ushered her to the bar, ordering a peach martini for later but a round of shots at first.

She guided her towards a booth that was on the side and only a minute later, their drinks arrived. The waitress left with a smile when Kendra left a 50 dollar bill. She turned towards Amber, “Let’s take the shots first!” She said and nodded at her, “Cheers! Here’s to you, for coming out!” She said and after clinking their shot glass, she tipped it into her mouth.

Amber was a little tense upon entering the lounge for various reasons that she kept to herself. She wasn’t about to go basting about the past anymore. Even if the memories hit, she would just push them down like before. She like Kendra and even if the only thing she gets is her friendship than this was all worth it. Some of he sharp light made her jolt and tense up a little, but with a little deep breathing she was able to bring herself down to a controllable level. This was the life of an agent, most people thinks its like the James Bond films which is full of shit! Agents gets killed but nobody hears about for its all classified, she would love to parade all the evidence that agents over there die everyday. She shook her head and pushed the thought down. She did not want to ruin Kendra’s night out by having her typical night time relapses that make her soaking wet with sweat and of course crying.

When they reached the bar, Amber was about to raise her hand and deny the drink, but once again she didn’t want to ruin the doc’s fun. She shook her head about the peach and went for strawberry. She smiled at Kendra and then gave her the finger in the mouth gag act about the peach. She playfully tabbed Kendra on the shoulder as if they were old time buddies hanging out together. She found herself leaning into Kendra making contact with her whenever she could get close enough to do it. She like how soft her skin was and strangely it gave her a sense of comfort being close to her.

She slide into the booth with a slight ugh, I think someone had too much to drink on this side.. Amber had this soured look upon her face.. She began to laugh .. “If it wasn’t to much to drink, they must have had a very aroused lady here.” She gave this sticky finger action with her thumb and index finger. Her face turned red after thinking about the action. ‘damn, what am I doing?” Amber questioned herself. She was acting like she was still in high school. She straightened up when the Waitress came and delivered their drinks. Her brow rose when Kendra tossed down a fifty, Amber looked at the girl… “Would please bring a wet cloth over here the seat is sticky.”

Amber clinked her glass with Kendra’s and took a gulp. Her eyes went wide and her mouth gapped open as it burned.. “Oh my god! I forgot!” She fanned her face and looked at Kendra with an embarrassed look upon her face…”OH, Maybe a club soda on the next outing!” she playfully hissed. Amber looked out at the dance floor remembering her prom night. “This reminds me of my Prom night many moons ago.” She looked over at Kendra. “There was a boy name Sam Anderson, What a hunk, but such a damn pervert! She hissed. “But back then I didn’t mind a few touches here and there.” Her face turned red with the topic she began babbling about…

Kendra hadn’t realized what Amber must have felt walking into the lounge. She had overlooked the possibility that this would be her very first time that Amber might be going out after what had happened to her. But she did catch a glimpse of her face and she looked tensed. That’s when she smiled at her, upon reaching the bar and decided to hold her hand, “Don’t worry about anything. I am here.” She said and smiled softly at her as they waited for the bartender and when he came, they ordered before moving to the booth. “So you don’t like peach huh. Good to know. I am glad you stopped me and changed your order. Because tonight, it’s all about you. And a little about me too because it’s been a while since I’ve come out to a lounge that was more clubbish rather than just lounge.”

She said noticing people dancing on the dance floor that was in the corner of the lounge. It was perfect because people can sit and relax who didn’t want to dance and then whoever was interested in dancing, they can easily move to the corner for a dance. She smiled as they entered the booth and this was the only that was empty it seemed so even if it was dirty, it would have to do. Kendra reached for Amber’s hand and pulled her towards her, sitting on half the side of the booth, their thighs brushing each others, “Just move towards me. And I doubt it was some aroused lady. It looks more like a spilled drink to me.” She said from the color of it. She watched the waitress deliver their drink and when she left, Kendra laughed out loud, “You know…it’s good to see you like this Amber. I like this side of you. Don’t block this side out. And now…let’s take these shots. Our drink awaits!”

She chuckled and passed the shot to her. “Come on…you are way stronger than that. Let loose a little and stop being a girl!” She chuckled and nudged her a little as she took the shot, sort of challenging Amber. “Oh? Are we going down to the high school lane?” She said when Amber started talking about her prom night. Kendra placed her chin in her palm and her elbow on the table in front of them, turning to look at Amber, “I think there was Sam Anderson-ish guy in my college too. One day, he took me out to a frat party and I was…very nervous. The whole party, I sipped on one beer, not wanting to end up on his bed. So yeah, I feel you. Let’s not dwell into our past. We move forward. So, what are your plans for your near future?” She asked curiously as she looked at Amber.

Amber turned sideways so she could look at Kendra while she talked about her college years, but then she raised her hand and waved off the past with a flick of her wrist. Amber wondered what happened to her but she didn’t have the skill to try to draw it out of her so she allowed the past to fade as Kendra suggested. Something that every one says that doctor make the worse patients seemed to be true with this one as well. She didn’t want to focus upon it for if she wanted to talk about she would have. Amber bit her lower lip as she realized that she was really, really looking at Kendra since being this closer to her and she had to admit. She was a beautiful woman although Amber wasn’t gay or anything but she knew what beauty was and Kendra was definitely in that category.

The question that Kendra asked forced Amber to lower her head and gazed down into the seat, and that is when Amber noticed that Kendra’s had very well toned thighs. She rolled her eyes when that thought crossed her mind. Ok, maybe I have a little bit of a lesbian in me if I’m here looking at her thigh. She also slightly embarrassed when she first sat down on this side with Kendra, their thighs were touching and she didn’t scoot away nor did Kendra and if she felt it then she knew Kendra did as well. No, I’m not gay, I just like her company Amber’s little voice spoke up quickly .

Amber smiled when the Doc asked what her future was in stored for her. Amber just looked at her with a hard pressed face.. “I was thinking about go back over there. It seems like I’m always going over there in my mind I might as well put my body back over there and maybe all this pain will quit. I just do see anything else right now but going back over, maybe return to the agency where I can actually help this time around with my new hardcore attitude. So I guess us trying to tear them down would be sorta counterproductive. Don’t you think?” Amber trying to put a show on that all was okay and she had a plan for the future.

“So I guess it would be silly to ask about your plans when you’re a Doc, helping people get better would be your future desire.” Amber smiled trying to act if there wasn’t anything wrong with her now, she just needed to have a little fun and all is well now. She looked over at the dance area and whipped her head around…”Lets go dancing.” She took Kendra’s hand and pulled her to the dancing floor. Almost instantly Amber was up against Kendra back and slowly moving her hands over Kendra’s waist and abs doing the dirty dancing that got some people looking their way..

Kendra had nothing to hide about her past except being silly. Everyone’s silly back then if she knew a thing or two about people. She smiled as they dwelled into the past for a short while and then shook it off, changing topic. Kendra knew how Amber had reacted earlier when they were so close and hugging each other, that nipping of her neck had her wondering. Now, she also knew that part of the reason why Kendra freaked out was because what shew as doing and with who, she wasn’t gay and yet, there she was. There’s a way about people and she would have known if Amber was truly into girls before she met her.

She didn’t notice when Amber caught a glimpse of her toned legs or else she would have definitely asked her something. They sat very comfortably even when in close proximity and that was something Kendra noticed. For what Amber’s gone through, a simple touch as this would make her freak out and it did earlier, but not now. So that was not only a good thing but also a sign of improvement.

She listened to Amber carefully as she sort of spoke about her future plans and if she happened to get better, it should pose no threat if she really wanted to go back. Kendra smiled at her, “Well that can be done and that’s very brave of you to even think that you can go back. But I would suggest becoming better, getting hold of yourself better before actually going there. But, it’s not a bad idea and very much doable.” She smiled, encouraging the woman in front of her.

Kendra only passed a cheesy smile when she asked about her plan and then answered it herself. She nodded, “Well, that’s pretty much it. Getting to know my patients and helping them get better. I guess that’s what I can say my goals are.” She said and gasped when she was made to quickly put down her drink, feeling Amber suddenly pull her hand. “What? OH god! You remember?” She said and smiled, having no other option and not wanting to turn down Amber’s proposal, she stood up and fixed her dress with one hand, watching Amber guide her down the floor. Before she knew, she was following her lead when her back brushed along Amber’s torso, finding her hand come to her waist and her abs as they started to slowly dance with each other. Kendra actually feel shy when she looked up and found few people staring at them, turning her head over her shoulder to look at Amber, “Gosh, people are looking at her weirdly!” Kendra was genuinely shying in that moment as her hand moved to rest on top of Kendra’s over her waist and abs.

Amber once again felt safe, not the physical safe but the mentally stable save. She knew that the touching was with someone whom cared for her, not some sex starved men whom wanted to get their dicks into her, the touching was from another female which made a big difference to her physic. She found herself savoring the feeling of Kendra’s body up against her. She lowered her head into the nape of Kendra but didn’t kiss or nib at her just was holding her close.

When she felt Kendra’s head tilt back she looked up and met her eyes. Kendra’s face was slightly red and was muttering something about people was watching them. Amber felt terrible at that moment, for this was a Doc whom had a reputation to protect. “I’m sorry lets go.” She whispered and removed her hands away from Kendra’s body and assisted with turning her away from the people . She took her hand and headed back to the booth they were sitting at earlier.

Sliding into the booth, Amber looked over at Kendra. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking, about the people here I just saw me and you out there and I… I just wanted ..fuck!” Amber brought her hands up and covered her eyes while she was gritting her teeth trying not to get angered at peoples nosy tendencies. She lowered her hands and looked at Kendra with a heavy apologetic look upon her face and eyes. “We can go and call it a night, Once again I destroy all that I touch. I think this is just too costly for one person to take.” Amber didn’t know what to do but get her out of here.

“Come on Kendra, lets go.” Amber stood up and offered her hand to the Doc.. “I’ve done enough damage to you this night. I think its best we just keep this a professional thing instead of trying to mix them Kendra, your going to jeopardize everything you worked so hard to accomplish. I don’t want any part of making that happen. So just chalk me up as one that you couldn’t help.” She reached down and took Kendra’s hand and helped her up.. “Thank you for a good night.” She waited for Kendra to take the first step.. Before following her..

Kendra didn’t know what was about Amber’s embrace, but it also did something to her. She didn’t want to believe it and blame it on her trying to help the woman, but it also felt safe. Now, Kendra had never been with another female and the thought had never crossed her mind, not yet at least. She felt a shiver run down her spine when she felt Amber lower her head into the nape of her neck.

What she was telling Amber was just something that she’d notice. It actually made her feel shy and blush but no way she was asking Amber to stop dancing. This actually reminded Kendra how to use her words wisely when with Amber, seeing how Amber take this serious which was something so simple. Kendra shook her head no when Amber pulled back and apologized, telling her how she was sorry and they should get off of the dance floor.

Though, Kendra nodded no, Amber managed to move the doctor off the floor and towards the booth. Amber was certainly strong and Kendra knew that too. So, when they came back to the booth, Kendra wasn’t given a chance to speak again as Amber insisted how they should just leave and how she’d messed up the night. She watched Amber stand up, waiting for Kendra to agree so they can leave. Kendra looked up at her and with a serious face, she nodded no, “Relax Amber. We are going…but not home. You’re going to give me the dance you asked me in the car and we’re going to enjoy the night how we had talked about while driving here. Failing tonight means failing overall…”

Kendra said and took a hold of Amber’s hand, guiding her towards the dance floor. She looked over her shoulder as they walked back on the dance floor, “I just said what I noticed earlier. There was nothing wrong. But…” She looked around the dance floor and found a nice little spot, near the corner, “…how about we dance there. Not many people are dancing there so we will have enough space and not many eyes on us either.” Kendra smiled and let go of Amber’s hand before walking towards the corner. The next decision was something that Amber had to make alone so once she reached the spot, she simply turned around and waited for Kendra.

Amber tilted her head back when Kendra bluntly told her to relax and that they were going but not home. Amber looked somewhat confused but then Kendra continued to tell her that if they left now and went home this night would be a failure and everything else that they have managed to achiever would be a failure as well.

When Kendra informed her that she was going have the dance that she offered to her Amber bit her lip for she actually believes that she is witnessing the Doc being a little upset. she never used her power of persuasion before even when Amber went off in the office, but here on a personal note over a dance she was using it. Amber never felt this way before except for a long before joining the CIA Boyfriend and here she was having that same low gut pain for upsetting her. Amber licked over her lips as Kendra took her hand and made way back to the dance floor.

Upon getting to the spot they were before she looked around and found a suitable area for them to dance. She looked over her shoulder at Amber telling her about what she noticed about the people not that she wanted to stop the dancing. She then pointed to an area and asked if that would be good for them to finish their dance together. She then moved over there, turned and waited look back at Amber to decided If she was going to dance or not..

Amber licked her lips again and remembered how good Kendra felt in her arms and wanted that feeling back. She never had feeling like this for a woman before but when she looked at Kendra she couldn't picture herself going on in life without her being a friend. She had to do what Kendra said and that was relax and enjoy the evening and since she asked for it Amber was going to do her best to make sure it happened.

She walked back over to her. Took Kendra's hand into hers and turned her around. Keeping a hold of her hand she reached and took the other one then wrapped their arms around Kendra waist. Amber stepped into the back of Kendra and enclose the embrace even more. She then lowered her face into the soft nape.. She slowly began to dance with her.. Soon she kissed and nipped once more on the soft skin...

Kendra wasn’t upset with Amber but with her own self, for saying what she did. She should have known better the fragile state Amber was in. She took notice of it and would remind herself before saying something silly like that in future. She didn’t know why she cared for Amber so much. It was odd but she did and there was no denial in that.

So after guiding Amber back on the dance floor, Kendra, alone, moved to a secluded spot so they aren’t much bothered by other people. Kendra decided to take further step in going to the spot and watched Amber who was still deciding if not convinced that they are going to dance. She smiled looking at Amber and waved at her, motioning for her to come on.

So when she saw Amber walk back over to her, her head turned, watching Kendra walk to her, around her and then, feeling Amber take Kendra’s hand, turning her around, she did with much compliance. Feeling her back brush Amber’s torso, she smiled again as she felt Amber’s hand on her waist and she pushed her head into Amber as she leaned forward to place her chin over her shoulder. The moment she felt her soft lips kiss her nape and then nip, Kendra felt her heart race. One of her hand came to rest over Amber’s hand on her waist as she didn’t look up to anyone but kept her gaze on the floor before them. She tried to dance a little but mostly moved to Amber’s movement, resting her head into her.

Amber felt as good as she has ever holding Kendra in this intimate dance. She felt like life just gave her a second chance to be happy and forget the past. She felt like she just found her reason why she survived and that was to meet and be with this woman. a lump formed in her throat as she enclosed the hold tighter. she could feel her breast pressing against Kendra's back and it felt good, she could feel her nipples hardening with the contact as they moved slowly around the floor.

Amber's breathing was quick and heated when she released her hot breath against Kendra's neck. Amber's lips lightly caressed the soft flesh with her lips before elegantly moving the tip of her tongue to the tender skin of Kendra's nape. She made small spiral circles before closing her lips over the area and sucking the skin into her mouth where she once again tasted the woman's flesh with her tongue. She release the tender skin before slowly moving up her nape. She went from the spiral circles to a dancing of her tongue tip across Kendra's soft skin.

The fragrance of Kendra's perfume assaulted Ambers intake of air and it was even fueling the burning that was igniting in the pit of Ambers gut. She moaned softly before moving he mouth to the earlobe of Kendra's right ear.. "I want to be with you." Amber hotly whispered when she leased the lobe to speak than retook the lobe into her hot mouth.

Ambers hands were slowly caressing the woman's abs with loving squeezing of her fingers, but then the harsh grabbing fingers of the men's hands where upon her skin making her gasp and pleas for them to stop touching her..

Kendra couldn’t have known what Amber must have been thinking, holding her in her hold while dancing slowly to the beat of the music. She wasn’t even sure if they were dancing or it was just an excuse to get close to one another. It would seem the latter was must more of a viable reasoning, given how she found Amber’s lips chin on her shoulders and her breasts pressing into her back.

Not only she could hear her own breathing quicken but she could feel Amber’s as well as he released ho breaths over her neck, from behind, before pressing the tip of her tongue on her soft skin over her neck. She wondered if it was for real but when she felt it move into circles, she knew it. She felt a shiver run down her spine when she felt her lips finally meet her skin as she felt a tiny spot of her skin being suckled into her mouth. She could feel her hot breath on her nape and could tell where her mouth was.

Waiting patiently until she reached her ear where she finally nibbled on her earlobe for a few seconds, pausing to whisper her words of needs, to which Kendra didn’t need the feel to reply. Her silent alone would serve as an answer. Finding her nibbling on her lobe again, she couldn’t help but feel Amber’s hands caress Kendra’s taut tummy through her dress as she felt her fingers digging into her soft flesh.

There was a change in the way Amber moved and Kendra couldn’t easily make out what it was. It was little too hard to say anything but when she felt some sort of a pause, Kendra managed to turn around to face Amber. She looked in her eyes and with only a gentle nod, she wrapped her arms around Amber. One of her hands went around her lower back and another went under her armpit and moved to cradle her head, guiding her face towards her neck. “I am not going anywhere…” she whispered into her ears and kissed her temple.

Amber was there fighting the hands that were grabbing her at her flesh, groping her at their will for she couldn’t fight off three sets of hands. Her begging them to stop but their fingers slid across her stomach her chest and even her thighs became victim to their touches. Soft arms were holding her, a sweet scent of perfume was mixed with each intake of air, and the sensual feel of a soft nape was where her face was nestled and her eyes opened when a pair of soft lips kissed her temple. She was back and in the arms of Kendra her words still ringing her ear that she wasn’t going anywhere.

Amber slowly lifted from the woman’s nape she came to center mass with Kendra’s beautiful face. She brought her hands up and cradled the soft face of Kendra, looking into her soft eyes before leaning forward, her lips slightly opened pressed against the soft petals of Kendra’s lips. A soft moan escaped over Amber’s trembling lips as she pressed a little more into the woman’s soft mouth. She didn’t want this kiss to stop so she presses a little more with each breath that was taken by either one of them.

Amber’s hands were on Kendra’s waist for a short time before she slowly slide them around and clasped them together in the small of Kendra’s back and lightly pulled her into their kiss. She wanted to feel her soft body up against hers, but wasn’t sure so she slowly releases the tension and allowed Kendra to move away a little if she wanted too. This was so strange but felt so right. She was feeling emotions that she had shut down ever since then and now they were active because of a very special woman whom was holding her in her arms as well.

Amber slowly reached out with her tongue and just tapped the lips of Kendra before pulling back unsure of the move but was having that urge to taste her better. Once again, she reached out and touched her lip once more but remained touching her lips for a few seconds more before pulling them back still unsure of the move. She moan again as she felt herself loving the feeling she was getting form the contact with this person she was getting to like a lot…

Kendra could feel Amber's body stiffen and it seemed like a patten. It was evident that remnants of horrible memory haunted her from time to time. The pretty doctor continued to hold her patient into a caring embrace. Matter of fact, she was actually enjoying holding another feminine form so close to her. She whispered words that she thought would calm her and she could feel it too.

She looked right into her eyes when Amber pulled her face back, looking right into her eyes before leaning forward, finding Amber's hands hold to her face, planting her soft lips onto hers. She could feel as if she was breathing same air, mixture of Amber’s scent and exhaled hot breath. With each passing second, Kendra felt the kiss turn into a passionate one, feeling Amber's lips continue to make their way into her sweet little mouth.

Kendra’s hold grew tighter when she felt Amber do the same, feeling her chest being pressed into her, a soft moan slipped her lips. Kendra knew that Amber was opening up at last and was glad that she was making good progress but deep down, she was also enjoying this. Nothing about this was right and already was breaking many rules but her practice was set in a way that allowed her to.

Kendra smiled when she watched and felt the tip of Amber's tongue tap at her lips. Kendra chuckled at Amber and cupped her cheek, "Can I assume you are enjoying this and if you are, I don't see a reason why we should hang back here. What do you say, we get out of here and go to my place?" She asked and looked into her eyes for some answer. Once she'd feel confident, the doctor started to cut through the crowd and started to walk towards the exit. Soon, they jump into her fancy car and would start to make their way towards a much secured and private location. "I feel some aggression movement inside you and your ways. You want to guide your aggression in the right direction and wouldn't hurt you or anyone else. Instead, you should use that to make you stronger." She said and took Amber's hand into one of her hands, driving on further.

She froze when she realized that she was pulling the doctor closer to her. She could feel the pressure of the ampleness against hers, which brought warmth to her. This was so confusing, one moment she wants this woman than the next it was what the fuck… Amber was so confused of her actions, her emotions that she was about to turn around and walk away to get as far as she could from all of this. It didn’t take long for her to remember the shower, the phone call to this woman and the need to be with her. God she needed help!

What am I doing? The question rattled around Amber’s mind looking for answers that wasn’t there. She didn’t know why she was kissing this women and even worse, trying to taste her. She wanted to push away but her body wouldn’t respond, or was that her mind only wished to move away but never sent the signal to do so. She’d remember the guys at the training site for the agency always was watching girl on girl and every time Amber walked away with a curdled stomach for it was gross, but now here she was kissing her doctor and trying to taste her with her tongue by sticking into that woman’s mouth! God why did I do this I’m going crazy? Before this doctor, she was fine, her friends saying otherwise just because she was getting hard! Hell, it was better than this!

She jumped slightly when her skin felt a soft pair of hands clamp upon her cheeks. Beautiful eyes glared into hers while the soft, comforting tone of voice came to her ear. Kendra was asking her if she was enjoying herself. She was speechless really, confused between the wanting of her and the denial of wanting her. She wanted to scream for she felt like the one she was two different people living in this one body were one wanted to take Kendra into her arms but the other one is asking what the hell.

She nodded just to break the exchanging of glares. She followed the doctor to the achievement of her success. It was a nice car Amber kept saying to herself every time she seen it. She waited for the lock to snap before she opened and slide into the comfortable seat. She was feeling better now that they were out of the building and separated. She pushed her hands into her face for a few moments taking in all that is going on and trying to make sense out of all the conflicting emotions.

Aggression! Amber looked over at her wondering where that word came from but then it dawned upon her. The damn kissing! She bit her lower lips wondering if she should tell the doctor about these strange vibes, she was getting. Was she so damaged that she is going senile and that is why there is a Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hide personalities with in her. She jumped once more when the doctor took her hand into hers and continued to drive down the road explaining where to focus this aggression. Amber decided to go along with this for she needed the help and Kendra was offering it… Maybe just maybe that is why she was feeling this way.

"Kendra, Are you sure we should be doing this?" Amber was referring to what she thought was going to be happening... More than kissing...

Kendra could feel the hesitation that Amber was having regarding this whole thing and she wasn’t to blame. No one was to blame for this. It all started with a notion of helping Amber and amidst all of this, she also found out something she’d never knew about herself. She wasn’t as freaking out as much as Amber was because Kendra had learned a lot of things about herself and her sexuality over the time, this was just one to be added to the list. She genuinely felt something for Amber and Kendra was one to explore that tiny feeling rather than pull back.

Kendra had to cup her face to bring Amber back to reality, asking her that question. She waited for her to answer as she gave her some time and not rush her into this. She smiled softly when she saw her nod and push her hands into her face, noticing how soft Amber’s skin felt to her fingertips. An unusual feeling felt deep down, she noticed it and how she wanted to explore that. But at the cost of hurting Amber. So, thing would only proceed, whatever that was, only if Amber was up for it.

They were both new to this so it would be going off of one another. She couldn’t afford to take a step and learn it was only she and not Amber, having to look back at her for answers and hesitation. They’d have to dive in together and only willingly.

Kendra wasn’t the one to look far ahead in the future, so when Amber looked over to her and answer her a question, the pretty doctor only smiled softly towards the girl at unease. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what we should be doing? I am your doctor, you are my patient. So is any of this right?” She shrugged her shoulders as she pulled her hand back and manage to drive and speak to Amber at the same time. “What I do know is this. I know this makes you feel good, makes you feel comfortable and I certainly am liking your company. Now, wherever this goes, I am willing to sit back and watch OR if you are not certain of this, we certainly don’t have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

She smiled and occasionally glanced at Amber, “What I mean to say is that you asked for my help. I am here to help you. Help you find new you. If that means you want to come over and spend the night, chatting about something or just sit, knowing you are with me and safe, I don’t mind it either. I don’t mind any of it.” She exhaled forcefully as she took an exit that would lead to her estate within 5 minutes. Letting few seconds pass before she continued, “So I understand you are probably nervous but we can sit and drink tea, chat…whatever you want to do. I want you to know that I am here for you and okay with it. I do like you and see how strong of a woman you are. I admire that.” She smiled softly and pulled into her driveway, parking her car, “So? Should we go in or should I put this baby back in drive and haul us back to your place?”

Amber had to find herself, had to move on, it was over, done, she wasn’t dead, but she was. Since coming home she went right to work, right to pushing herself every minute of the day just so she wouldn’t have that moment of pause because in that moment of pause was when she would return to over there. No one for the past year was there to bring her back; she was reliving it repeatedly. She had never allowed anyone to touch her in anyway for it took her back to the rape and their extremities touching her everywhere. Then as if that wasn’t enough, she relived the click of the weapon that that would have taken her life if the bullet didn’t misfire. She never wanted to go home for that was when it hit her all the time. However, if she stayed busy she never went back to over there unless something was extremely close to what happed. She would come out of it shaking, crying, sweating profusely, and wishing that it would all end, but then work and her classes were the answer to the going over there but it was affecting her social life for she stopped going out, she was at two places work or classes that was it. She was dying inside and that was what Sharon was witnessing the withdrawal from everything.

Now however since she has found Kendra things in life was changing. She could do things that she couldn’t do before because when she hit a trigger Kendra was there to bring her back and show her that she was safe and unharmed. She was the only one that had gotten past Ambers wall and tore it down but stood there at the breaking point and showed Amber that she would be there to help her, she had to let go of all the triggers by holding nothing in. She had to open up and allow the pain to flow under the careful watch of Kendra and things would get better. They have been she had been touched by fingers and brought back. She had even been kissed and brought back and now she has kissed Kendra and felt good, safe a little confused but she didn’t go over there.

She looked over at Kendra in a different way she didn’t see a woman she saw a friend whom was helping her get better at her own speed. She had asked for her help in a terrible moment this evening and she was there like she said she would be. She has been there every min when Amber needed her. Amber even was the tone that kissed her first wanting to be with her for she felt safe, comfort that she nerve had since being back. She was being a bitch, a tease to the woman that was there to help her and even with at little disappointment over Ambers backstroking she remained standing at the door saying I’m here for you. No one else would have done this backtracking that Amber started to do this night. No they would have said fine and bam they would be gone.

Amber took a deep breathe and asked herself these questions. Do you like her? Does she make you feel safe? Do you want to touch her? Do you want her to touch you? Did you have fun dancing with her? Do you want to dance with her again? The answer was yes on everything so she asked then what the hell is the problem. Therefore, what if she is a female she makes you happy! That is what matters nothing else …. Don’t blow it Amber her inner voice now listing to the heart.

Amber unhooked the seat belt, reached over, took Kendra’s face into her hands, and turned her chin towards Amber. Amber then leaned forward, brought her lips to Kendra’s soft lips while her hand moved up to the back of Kendra’s head, and pulled her into the deep kiss. Her tongue didn’t play tap, it pushed through and searched out Kendra’s tongue she was going to taste her.” She broke the kiss a few moments later for she wanted more… “Let’s go in… I want more of you!” She pulled Kendra to her once more kissing her deeply… Her hand proceeded over and came to rest upon her waist. She moaned into the kiss…