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I've been a Literotica member for some time, but only reading the stories and giving anonymous criticism. I posted up my first story a few days ago, and as with everyone else, would welcome constructive feedback :)

Getting to Know You Ch 01

It's in the Lesbian category, and I'm working on Chapter 2 on my other monitor as I'm writing this :)

These forums seem like a great hangout, so I'm off for a mooch... just wanted to say 'hi'!
 
New Story Post From caprine

Positive feedback has brought about this new story. I went back into Gloria: First Time and ended the story earlier with this new chapter as the result. Don't underestimate Senior Citizens. As the saying goes, there may be snow on the roof, but there's still fire in the furnace. Read how Gloria and Jack reunite and prove that.


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=289803 Gloria:First Time

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=378930 Gloria: Second Time Around current post

***************************************
...I feel more alive when I’m writing than I do at any other time—except when I’m making love. Two things when you forget time, when nothing exists except the moment—the moment of writing, the moment of love. That perfect concentration is bliss.”
- May Sarton
 
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Last of my different strokes stories

Last of my different strokes stories, a sci-fi setting. These were story ideas that have been hanging around for awhile begging to be written. Now with that out of my system maybe I can go back to writing my series.

Hope you enjoy this little jaunt into the unusual, comments and votes appreciated, e-mail with return addr gets personel replies as always.
Dom Woolf

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=378793
 
Feedback wanted for new brother/sister story

Hello fellow Lit writers,

After taking some time off following my first two literary efforts, my third story just went up and I'm looking for some feedback.

My first two were Mature stories that got decent reviews, but this time I went for a brother/sister story that, so far, has only gotten mixed reviews in terms of voting and only two public comments, both somewhat critical. However, I've gotten nearly a dozen emails, all of which were complimentary and I would like to see what others Literotica regulars think.

Breakfast Lessons

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=378795

Thanks in advance for your comments!

Doug (carolinahusband)
 
Story suffering from style?

Hello,

My first story was approved a few days ago and I've gotten a few positive comments already, but I'm concerned about the style of the piece. Does the 1st/2nd person thing really suck the life out of my story? I thought it worked pretty well. Even though I don't enjoy that style much myself I've never found a story to be incomprehensible because of it or felt the need to actually leave a comment complaining about it.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=379473

Did I actually break the rules of "person"? Any help is appreciated. Thanks!



f
 
fyathyrio said:
Hello,

My first story was approved a few days ago and I've gotten a few positive comments already, but I'm concerned about the style of the piece. Does the 1st/2nd person thing really suck the life out of my story? I thought it worked pretty well. Even though I don't enjoy that style much myself I've never found a story to be incomprehensible because of it or felt the need to actually leave a comment complaining about it.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=379473

Did I actually break the rules of "person"? Any help is appreciated. Thanks!



f
Click to expand...


I left a comment for you on your story. I think the main issue is that the person who is being "addressed" changes, the person you refer to as "You". In the beginning, it is the couple. Then, it is the wife. Then, later, it is the couple.
I do think that somehow this could be made to work, particularly in the context of the story, but it would be very difficult-- and probably considered too literary an endeavor for someone who just wants to jack off to the story (lol). The easiest thing to do to make the story easier to read would be to limit the "You" in the story to one person.
Other than that issue, I enjoyed the story, and the mood of it, which I sensed was a bonding experience, a shared desire between the husband and wife. Nice :)
 
carolinahusband said:
Hello fellow Lit writers,

After taking some time off following my first two literary efforts, my third story just went up and I'm looking for some feedback.

My first two were Mature stories that got decent reviews, but this time I went for a brother/sister story that, so far, has only gotten mixed reviews in terms of voting and only two public comments, both somewhat critical. However, I've gotten nearly a dozen emails, all of which were complimentary and I would like to see what others Literotica regulars think.

Breakfast Lessons

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=378795

Thanks in advance for your comments!

Doug (carolinahusband)
Click to expand...



MORE!!!!!
 
Got a new one out...

Called Aunt Sioux.

Linked it in my siggy line below. But also would appreciate comments/feedback/or votes on it as well. Let me know what you think.

Appreciate it.
 
Butt-plug

Just a quick advert for my latest offering in the anal category. It's called Dark Passage and I intend it to be the opening chapter of an erotic crime thriller.

Enjoy and don't spare me your praise/condemnation.
 
Back at it

Hi friends, old and new. Its been a good week for me. Finally got one of my stories out of the pending bin. I'll attach it to my sig later on today, but leave a link for know. It's an EC called Thug Passion. As with my other pieces, modest build up to a powerful finish. Hope you enjoy it and feel free to read my others. Much love.
 
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Since my return to Lit last month, I have been getting many views and a few votes, but little feedback. This disappoints me. Please, folks, if you like my stories, tell me why. I enjoy hearing from you. More than inspiration, positive feedback keeps me going. I accept constructive criticism too.

New story up- 'Rekindled.' Was going to be part of the 'Passion' series originally, but I ended that a while back. Still, the story is good on its own. I hope you agree, and that you will let me know.

View, vote (once per person!), and send feedback- please!
 
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