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Casual Sex?

SweetSam42

SweetSam42

Occasional Pin-Up Girl
Joined
Jun 27, 2013
Posts
4,615
(No - not talking about the 80s Lea Thompson movie...)

Do you enjoy casual sex? Do you ever feel empty afterwards, or is it all in good fun and variety is the spice of life?

How satisfying are these encounters? Do you think men are more able to enjoy casual sex than women are? Can you even have sex with very little actual "intimacy"? Or would you call your encounters intimate, even if you don't stir up any feelings of love/romance/etc.?

This can cover one-night stands, but I'm also looking for input from people who have repeated casual sex with the same person over a period of time (no romantic feelings/FWB).
 
Good question... I think it depends what you mean by casual sex! If it is sleeping with someone on an on and off again basis, I think it is hard not to have some sort of feelings at some stage and this can lead to issues, especially if there is an expectation gap. I think this is the same for males and females alike.

A one night stand? This can definitely be just sex and can be purely physical
 
luuke85 said:
Good question... I think it depends what you mean by casual sex! If it is sleeping with someone on an on and off again basis, I think it is hard not to have some sort of feelings at some stage and this can lead to issues, especially if there is an expectation gap. I think this is the same for males and females alike.

A one night stand? This can definitely be just sex and can be purely physical
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Either situation.

And I'm not wondering if you might develop feelings at some point that might complicate things. I'm wondering if any of it is satisfying when it is essentially devoid of the emotional side of a relationship.
 
My answer to that would be a resounding yes, it can be very satisfying!
 
I love my wife, she's a great mother and great person, but she can't fulfill my needs. I have FWB in a similar situation, we click. We have great sex and we re great friends.
 
ilovetoeat42 said:
I love my wife, she's a great mother and great person, but she can't fulfill my needs. I have FWB in a similar situation, we click. We have great sex and we re great friends.
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So after sex, what happens. You grab a cup of coffee together? You chat in bed for a while? You leave straight away?
 
SweetSam42 said:
So after sex, what happens. You grab a cup of coffee together? You chat in bed for a while? You leave straight away?
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We will usually do breakfast and thenngobour separate ways. Like I said we re good friends, so there's no awkwardness. After.
 
I'm subscribing as I'm interested.
No experience beyond grinding and snogging on the dance floor, back in student years. Yeah there was something extremely pleasant about a girl whose name I didn't know exploring the boner in my jeans with her fingers and belly, and her eyes lighting up. It was purely about feeding my own sexual prowess.

But then I fell in love and now it is difficult to imagine what casual sex would feel like!
 
Do you enjoy casual sex? It is fun. It has been a while for us, and we need to change that soon.

Do you ever feel empty afterwards, or is it all in good fun and variety is the spice of life? Maybe when I was younger and looking for love. After years of being faithful to each other, swinging has been fun and does not give us any empty feelings.

How satisfying are these encounters? It depends on what you consider satisfying. The sex is fun, but I rarely orgasm. The sex we have together is fantastic. There have been a few people who couldn't perform, and some who were duds, but in the end, I would say I have enjoyed myself. /COLOR]

Do you think men are more able to enjoy casual sex than women are? No, I think women can enjoy it just as much.

Can you even have sex with very little actual "intimacy"? Or would you call your encounters intimate, even if you don't stir up any feelings of love/romance/etc.? Sex can just be about sex, and doesn't have to involve any feelings of love, romance, etc. I do think it is better when you have been with someone before, since you have a little knowledge of what each other enjoy.
 
I never consider sex to be casual no matter the circumstance. The description conjures up this image of lying in bed reading a magazine while my partner pumps away until he is finished, then stretching my arms and yawning before falling asleep. I have had sex with many partners not because I have a casual attitude about it but because it fulfills a craving in me.
 
ilovetoeat42 said:
I love my wife, she's a great mother and great person, but she can't fulfill my needs. I have FWB in a similar situation, we click. We have great sex and we re great friends.
Click to expand...

But then in thus case, it's not casual sex. You are in an ongoing relationship with this woman. Casual sex would imply a wham, bam, thankew ma'am sort of situation. No ongoing friendship /relationship.
 
You can't really do casual sex that is regular and ongoing. It's just human nature to get attached in some way. And that either leads to it becoming something other than casual sex or major resentment.

I don't really think casual sex needs to be "empty sex," though. You can have fun with another person without it being an exercise in despair.
 
I disagree - I think you can sleep with people for a physical release and not have romantic feelings for them, even on an ongoing basis. I mean - why not?
 
Casual sex?

Not possible for me... The times I've come close, there was always a respect factor lacking... for me. Yeah, I'm kinda big on the mutual respect thing... especially if it involves sex... with me.
Nah, I've got too many of those oxytocin hormones floating around in me for casual sex to work. Shame, really... big source of my dearth, I'm afraid. Ah well, there it is.
 
pfflyerhot said:
Not possible for me... The times I've come close, there was always a respect factor lacking... for me. Yeah, I'm kinda big on the mutual respect thing... especially if it involves sex... with me.
Nah, I've got too many of those oxytocin hormones floating around in me for casual sex to work. Shame, really... big source of my dearth, I'm afraid. Ah well, there it is.
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My take on that pf? - I hugely value any woman who's got those oxytocin hormones floating around her!
As you have long since judged, I can't even get flirty online without it grows into that respect and affection thing in no time at all! Do men have oxytocin too? This is new to me! :rose:
 
ChattyAnnie said:
I never consider sex to be casual no matter the circumstance. The description conjures up this image of lying in bed reading a magazine while my partner pumps away until he is finished, then stretching my arms and yawning before falling asleep. I have had sex with many partners not because I have a casual attitude about it but because it fulfills a craving in me.
Click to expand...

I have to agree with you C A .. as many partners as I have had. I have never thought or felt any of them were just there for my pleasure .. It has always been a itch that needed scratching by the both of us..
 
There has to be some emotional connection there in order to make the sex worthwhile. Last week, a coworker and I slept together--one night, then our separate ways. Nothing awkward about it at all (she emailed me some work questions yesterday)--we'll meet up next time most likely and repeat. That said, there was a preexisting connection on some level that attracted us and allowed us to do it.
 
Not a fan of casual sex.

I don't want to be with someone casually. If they are casual about me, they aren't worth my time.
 
Setanta84 said:
You can't really do casual sex that is regular and ongoing. It's just human nature to get attached in some way. And that either leads to it becoming something other than casual sex or major resentment.

I don't really think casual sex needs to be "empty sex," though. You can have fun with another person without it being an exercise in despair.
Click to expand...

SweetSam42 said:
I disagree - I think you can sleep with people for a physical release and not have romantic feelings for them, even on an ongoing basis. I mean - why not?
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Both are valid viewpoints but each are also subjective to your individual experiences and belief matrixes. We're a diverse and complicated species with genetic imprinting and life long programing and experiences coloring our actions and thought processes. While I largely share Setantan84's viewpoint I've also experienced that which Sammie describes. I have had both positive and negative experiences in brief romantic interludes of random nature. Overall I distrust and have negative feelings towards the concept of casual-sex.
 
I think it comes down to the individual. If you can find someone else that you can just fuck and that's all it is, hang on to that person!
 
SweetSam42 said:
I disagree - I think you can sleep with people for a physical release and not have romantic feelings for them, even on an ongoing basis. I mean - why not?
Click to expand...

It's what PF describes. Chemically and psychologically, we're engineered by evolution to bond with the people we regularly take to bed. There are literally chemical compounds released in the brain during sex that encourage emotional attachment.

You can consciously fight/manage that. But few people take casual sex that seriously. The entire point of casual sex is to avoid that kind of thing.
 
I try only to have casual sex, i dont care much about emotions i just want to cum and the attention from having guys fuck me. I love my bf but sex with him is different because of that and in a strange way i value sex with strangers much more because of it.
 
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