Would appreciate feedback as well as ideas for my current MOM Series

I started with "Mom Becoming a Model Ch. 01" and discovered that that isn't the beginning of the story. I eventually figured out that your story starts with "Visiting Mom at Work". I started that, saw that it begin with a large block of "she's so hot, blah, blah, blah" narrative summery and then skimmed down to where the dialogue began. Your story had two lines of dialogue - way, way too little.

I recommend you look for a literary editor to help you with a rewrite.

Volunteer editors:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=175648

I don't mean to sound overly critical, but I only got through the first 4 or 5 paragraphs before I had to stop... as a reader, you lost me.

The wording is just too distracting. You change tenses from one paragraph to the next, have some missing commas, odd phrasing, etc.

Example:

"I believe it was from this desperation to experience what it would be like to meet one is what drove me to look at mom in a different light."

Try this instead:

"I was desperate to meet one of these women. It was this desperation that drove me to look at my mom in a different light."

Another...

"Originating from Spain, she was quite fair skinned and had long jet black hair."

I would recommend something like:

"Originally from Spain, she had fair skin and long, jet-black hair."

A literary editor will help you fix these issues and make your story less of a distraction and more of a joy to read.

Good luck.

I think 8letters and monoblanco are pretty fair.

You ask a lot from your readers.

My 2¢, repost the stories and number the chapters as 'Mom becoming a model from 1-4. I share 8letters frustration.

Why post the early chapters as incest? They are not.