The Roaring Twenties

Hettie had plenty of time to think as she sat behind the counter and waited for the boat from Ilfracombe. Brian was back out fishing so things were quiet around the house. These days, what was usually on her mind was Penny. She worried about the woman and made a mental list in her head of what she knew.

Mrs. March. Was that her real name? Was she really married?

Miscarriage. Was the name to hide the shame of a baby born out of wedlock?

The picture of the man. Her husband? She had implied that he was still alive. Then she would not be a widow. A lover? She had said that he was not the one that had beat her and made her lose the baby.

So who was he? It was obvious that she loved him. She gasped as a thought hit her. What if he was already married? They had had an affair and she got pregnant. He wouldn't leave his wife, or didn't want her and a baby, and she had left in shame. It fit things as she saw it.

Looking out of the window, she saw the boat docking and pulled out the book. Capt'n Earl led a young couple and a little girl walking along the pier and up the hill to the harbour office.

"'ello. Mrs. Harrelson. Oi've got a family uv day trippers 'ere." The Capt'n slapped the man on the back and shook his hand. "Oi'll be back late this afternoon ta pick yew up. Yew've got a copy uv the shedule."

The man nodded and Hettie opened her book to the current date. "Oi need yer names fer tha records."

"Oh, uh Mr. & Mrs. Peters and our daughter Betsy."

Hettie smiled at Betsy, a pretty little girl with black braids and startling blue eyes.

"And how old are you, Miss Betsy?"

"Six and three quarters. I'll be seven in almost a month. Or more."

"'ow sweet." Hettie looked at the Peters. "Once we gets older we wants to take away years, not add them on."

She handed them a pamphlet with a map of the island and a list of the sights. She also circled the timetable of the boats and reminded them that there were no hotels on the island. All cars were owned privately by individuals living on the island so they would need to be aware of the time as they would be walking everywhere.

After they left, Hettie found Capt'n Earl sitting outside the harbour office smoking his pipe. "So, 'ow is Mrs. March?" The wind blew the smoke from his pipe up and away.

"Still grievin'. Something like that takes time."

"Aye, that it does. Even w'en she smiles, 'er eyes are full of sorrow."


*****

Penny sat on one of the large boulders watching the world pass by. The sound of a child's laughter caught her attention as she looked down the beach. There a young couple with a little girl walked along the water's edge, the little girl running and playing while her parents watched and laughed. At one time she had hoped that she would have a life like that. But Jack deserved a woman that could give him something like that. Not some woman that had been bedded by half of the town. After Quentin had been arrested, and they had all gone out to celebrate, she was so embarrassed to face the men. George and Charlie had slept with her, Quentin had had her, even Larry had been intimate with her, and Jack didn't even know about him. He should have some woman that hadn't done what she had. Someone to give him a family. Someone that loved him as much as she did. She brushed away the tears and put a smile on her face, smiling and saying hello to the family as they walked by.

Climbing down from the rock, she headed up the cliff and walked towards town. No more crying. She had grieved enough. She had paid for 6 months rent. After that, she would have to move on. Maybe she should move to the States. No one would know her there.

Heading towards the little store down the street from the tavern, she decided that it was a simple way to spend an afternoon.

Jack was surrounded with scraps of paper concerning the railway journey from Paddington that included a stop at Frome which was where Helen Morris had last seen Clare or rather the woman that Jack was now convinced was Clare. The obvious place to start was the train's final stop, find out if Clare had travelled that far, if not then there were only three other places she could have left the train.

He decided to go to Barnstaple himself as it would be easier to move either forward or back depending on what he found out. The smell of the smoke and steam enveloped him as he made his way to his carriage. The journey was not as arduous as he had feared and it was only four hours later that he found himself standing on the platform at Barnstaple.

The stationmaster was as helpful as he could be but couldn't say if anyone had got off that particular train as no one was on duty at that time of day. Jack thanked him and was about to walk out disconsolately when the stationmaster called him back,

"Hold on young fella, if anyone did get off they would either have walked or took a taxi, either way Jethro woulda seen them, he's always here with his cab when a train is due, why don't you go ask him? Tell him I sent you."

His spirits lifted Jack found Jethro and asked him the pertinent question.

"Yer I remember the lady, quite a looker she were what with her red hair but her clothes looked second hand or hand me downs, get her dressed up and she'd be a right beauty, mind you she didn't look too well, all pale like."

"Did you take her anywhere, please it's very important."

Jack was now convinced he was on the right track.

"Yer she wanted the bus station, it's only a five minute walk but a fare's a fare"

"Then you have another fare to the bus station and a nice tip at the end of it."

Frustratingly the bus station was closed for another two hours so Jack found a little tea shop across the road after tipping Jethro five pounds.

She was starting to recognize people and feel a part of the community here. Mrs. Triffit greeted her as she came in the store.

"Hello Mrs. Triffit. How are you this day?"

"Ow, Oi be fine. An' yew, dear one? Are yew losin' wait? 'y, yer nuthin' but skin an' bones! 'ere, 'ave a piece o' candy. Need sum meat under t'at skin."

She laughed as she took the bit of rock candy from the lady. "Thank you, Mrs. Triffit. But all this walking must be what's doing it." She could tell that she had lost almost a stone of weight. She laughed again. "At least I have a beautiful view while I walk."

"Ow, dear one, yew 'ave such a beautiful laugh. Oi'm so glad ta finally 'ear it. Yew know, t'ings will get better. Oi know it. Oi 'as the sight."

One of the other ladies that was in the store spoke up.

"Aye, tha she does. Last year she knew w'at Clyde Sckupperdon wood na be returnin' frum tha sea. An she were right. 'e washed up near Tintagel. So, yew listen to 'er."

And with that, it became a contest to see who could remember the times that Mrs. Triffit had prophesied correctly. And over to one side sat Mr. Triffit remembering all the times that his wife had been wrong. She was smiling as she left, hearing him yelling to be heard over the chattering women.

"Remember the time yew swore yew wuz dyin' and it were just some bad sauerkraut!"

She gave a chuckle as she headed home to drop off her purchase before walking to the beach that looked out over Quarter Wall Bay. She would probably stay there till sunset and time to go eat at the tavern.

He had got this far and Jack felt he was hot on Clare's trail, what he would say or do when he finally caught up with her he had no idea nor did he know if Clare would even acknowledge him, she had gone to such lengths to disappear,. the one hope he clung to was in her letter,

'I love you. I've always loved you and I will always love you, until the end of time.'

Those few words were the whole basis of his search for her, surely she could not reject him again? His thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of the bus station coming to life or rather the tiny tea bar being prepared to open by a fresh faced young man.Rather than wait he walked over and engaged the young man in conversation, he drew the conversation round to memorable customers especially recent ones.

"There's one oi remember last week she 'ad got 'orf the train and took a taxi dahn 'ere to catch the bus to Ilfracombe but it wasn't due ta leave for a coupla hours so she 'ad some soup an' tea, She looked real poorly so oi gave her some crackers ta nibble on, she didn't say much but she wuz real nice, an' pretty an' all."

Jack took a deep breath and showed the youth Clare's photograph,

"Could that have been her?"

The youth looked at it and slowly smiled,

"Yep I reckon it could, even though she looked so poorly, she 'ad an amazing smile an' the most kissable lips imaginable."

"You young man have just made my day even if you have expressed a desire to kiss my fiance."

The youth blushed as though he had just been caught out in some terrible crime.

"Oi'm sorry sir oi didn't know, oi didn't mean owt by it."

"Forget it son, if Clare and I pass by this way I'll make sure she gives you the sweetest kiss you've ever had."

The youth was overcome and couldn't do enough for Jack, packing him a selection of sandwiches then he pointed to a bus,

"That's the 'bus to Ilfracombe sir, would you mind if you do come back this way, would you mind if oi reminded you?"

For the first time in a long while Jack laughed.

"You do that son, no offence will be taken I assure you."

He picked up his sandwiches and climbed aboard the 'bus his heart beating furiously.

Once she was back at the blue bung she fixed herself a sandwich, pondering on Mrs. Triffit's words.

Yew know, t'ings will get better.

Better? Well, that was what she was here for. Maybe things had not turned out like she had wanted. But she could handle it. For a second, she thought of the lost child. Had it been a boy or a girl? It had probably been too soon to tell. Would it have been a little Jack, always into trouble, with that mischievous grin? Or a little girl, maybe looking like her mother, who had been so pretty. She ignored the feelings rising in her chest and took another bite of her sandwich.

A quick clean up and soon she was walking down to the little footpath that she had discovered that led to the small strip of beach on the island. Most of the island looked as if it had thrusted itself up out of the Bristol Channel with steep rocky sides to keep people out. There only seemed to be a couple of small beachy areas on the east side of the island, facing Ilfracombe and the island harbour, where the boats from Ilfracombe and Bideford would dock on the island. The rest was mainly rock.

She sat on the sandy spit of beach and listened to the birds overhead, watching the waves crash against the rocks to her right that tumbled out into the water. And trying to calm her nerves. She took a couple of deep breaths and tried clearing her mind.

The journey to Ilfracombe was long and the seats uncomfortable so Jack being unable to sleep had plenty of time to think, what worried him most was that most people who had seen or spoken to her had commented on how ill she looked, what could be ailing her? When she reached her destination, wherever that might be, would she be able to find a doctor?

What was he going to say to her? try and persuade her to come home with him seemed the best option but he knew how stubborn she could be so was he prepared to stay with her? Depending of course if she still wanted him, but that phrase kept returning,

'Until the end of time.'

It filled him with fresh hope.

The bus rounded a bend in the road and Jack caught a glimpse of the sea, grey, cold looking, uninviting, dark clouds scudding across the sky with billowing black clouds following closely behind didn't bode well for the weather. A sharp jagged flash of lightning caught his eye. He sighed thankful that he had brought a raincoat and trilby hat with him.

The bus halted in Ilfracombe bus station, thankfully under cover as the rain was coming down in sheets, beating a never ending tattoo on the corrugated iron sheeting that served as a canopy. Jack gratefully rose and flexed his legs and arms, gathered his belongings and found the exit from the bus station. When he stepped outside the rain seemed to come down even heavier. Where he should go to continue his search he had no idea. There were four taxis lined up outside but no drivers, however he found a door marked 'TAXI OFFICE' and the sound of laughter inside.

"Excuse me gents but I'm looking for a woman."

"Aren't we all mate, a big woman wiv big fat tits, ha ha ha."

Jack laughed with them, he should have expected nothing less, he would have to choose his words more carefully in future.

"You misunderstand me , I am looking for a woman who came in off the bus from Barnstaple about a week ago, she had red hair."

"Yeah we remember her, hard not to considering what happened."

Jack became alarmed at their sombre faces,

"Why what happened? Is she alright? Did she have an accident?"

"Well Jonny 'ere took her to the Lundy landing stage an' orf 'er an' Cap'n Earl went orf ta Lundy only when they got there she collapsed, the upshot of it is she lorst the baby. So sorry Mister."

Jack was speechless, he had no idea that Clare had been pregnant, his main concern now was getting to her side and being there for her.

"Can you take me to the Lundy boat now? I must get to her."

"Earl won't be takin' his boat aht no more t'day, too risky, t'morrer if'n the weather improves. Look it's clear yer in shock, bed dahn 'ere fer the night an one of us will take yer dahn first thing in the mornin'"

Jack accepted gratefully, still amazed at the generosity of these Devon people, the complete opposite of most Londoners.

The storm had snuck up on her, rolling in from the other side of the island. As soon as she noted the clouds scuttling in low over her shoulder, she started heading for the bungalow. About halfway there, the storm broke as the torrential rain poured down, quickly soaking her.

The sudden snaking of the fork of lightning briefly lit the storm-darkened the sky as her ears rang from the clap of thunder and she rushed to the little blue house in the distance.

She stood dripping water in the little foyer. She didn't think that she would go to the tavern tonight. It really wasn't worth the travel in the rain. The wet clothes were soon dripping in the shower as she wrapped herself in the old ratty chenille bathrobe. The faded green color seemed to go quite well with her hair color. It had been her bathrobe since she had been in high school. Cora had had one too, but had one day told their parents that it was lost. Only she knew the truth - her twin thought that it was too common and threw it away. But she had kept hers though Jack had never seen it.

Now, like Jack's shirt which hung in the shower drying, this was one of the few things kept from her past. The clothes that hung in the armoire were very plain, verging on the ugly. She thought that dressing down would help her lose herself in the crowd. Gone was her days of dressing up and wearing flashy makeup. Another clap of thunder rattled the window panes.

Fixing herself a sandwich, she sat down and started reading a book that had been left in the blue bung. It was called 'Silas Marner'. She read until time for bed, climbing into the double bed and sleeping alone again in the huge bed.

The next morning was grey with a heavy fog that blanketed the island. She stepped out and noticed that the usually quiet island seemed wrapped in cotton. She figured that the stuff would eventually burn off but she enjoyed the quiet. Wrapped once again in Jack's shirt, she made plans as to where she should head first.

He couldn't make out where he was at first, the coal fire was just red glowing embers and he felt chilled, so he put a few lumps of coal on the fire and within a few minutes it was burning brightly again. Slowly it all came back to him, the storm, the taxi drivers and the devastating bombshell that Clare had suffered a miscarriage. His overriding concern now was getting to Clare and holding her, comforting her, she needed him as he needed her.

Looking round the small office he found the makings for some tea and put a full kettle on the fire to boil while he looked outside only to find a damp foggy morning, unable to see more than a hundred yards, his heart sank even further as he realised he would be going nowhere until the fog lifted.

The whistling of the boiling kettle brought him back inside and he made tea in the large pot on the table. Just as it brewed the door opened and two of the taxi drivers from the night before trooped in, introducing themselves as Jonny and Stu.

Jack couldn't contain himself and asked when he would be able to leave for Lundy.

"Soon as t'fog starts t'lift we'll take ye t'Earl, 'e's t'one wot'll decide when ye cin leave. Fog should start burnin' orf in an hour or so. By the way ye mek a good brew o' tea."

The ice broken they chatted like old friends and Jack gave them a brief history of his search for Clare.

"Blimey mate she must mean 'eck of a lot to ya." commented Stu,

"More than that Stu, she means EVERYTHING to me, my whole life."

An hour later Jonny looked out of the dirty window and announced,

"T'fog's brekkin' up, you ready t'go meet Cap'n Earl?"

It was only a short drive to the harbour and Jonny took him to the door of the hut that proclaimed "SIGHT SEEING TRIPS TO LUNDY"

Before Jack got out he shook Jonny's hand and thanked him and his friends profusely for their kindness.

"Nah, weren't nowt, you mek sure ye get ye girl back, she deserves you."

Captain Earl looked up as he entered the office his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to place a face.

"Are you going to Lundy today Captain? I'm asking because there is someone that I desperately need to speak to, she hasn't been well recently and......."

"Ye must mean Penny, Penny March she's t'only new arrival an' she ain't been well."

"No, the lady I mean is called Clare, Clare Edison, she has red hair if that helps."

"There's no one of that name on t'island but your description fits Penny to a 'T'. Now listen young fella she's very fragile at the moment but answer me this, is she likely to 'ave a picture of you that she treasures?"

Jack thought for a moment then he nodded,

"It's possible she has a photograph of me when we first got engaged."

"You've convinced me now jump aboard an' we'll see if we can't get you two lovebirds reunited."

About an hour later, the fog had burned off enough that she was able to head out towards the water's edge. She was torn between whether to head towards the rocky side and perch herself on top of one of the huge rocks there, listening to the waves crash against the hard boulders that littered the water's edge as if they had sheered off the high cliffs to tumble down into the surf. Or should she head over to the other side of the island where one of the few bits of sandy beach was.

She finally decided on beach and climbed down, the sound of waves crashing against the sand greeting her ears. Her mood was grey like the early morning fog and, wrapped in Jack's shirt, it was as if he was holding her in his arms.

Sitting down on the beach, she drew her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs, she laid her head down on her knees and began to cry. She had promised herself no more tears and yet here she was feeling sorry for herself.

*****

Capt'n Earl called out over the radio.

"Lundy 57. Lundy 57. Tha Tibbit 'ere. Come back. 'ettie, yew t'ere? Over."

There was a pause before the air wires crackled.

"Tibbit, Lundy 57 'ere. Earl, t'at yew? Over."

"Yep. On my way wif a package fer our new friend. Over."

"Oooh. A package? It's clearin' up 'ere. Over."

"Yeah, yew' we seen a picture uv it. Over."

There was a pause. "No! Praises be. Get 'ere safe! Over an' out!"

"Over an' out."

Earl hung up the mic and winked at Jack, grinning. "She'll know w'are ta find 'er. 'ettie know w'are ta find everythin'."

Jack couldn't settle as they headed out of the little harbour he stood in the bow looking towards Lundy, at present just a shapeless smudge in the remains of the fog. He heard Captain Earl talking to some disembodied voice and then realised he was talking to someone on Lundy and disclosing that he would be arriving. Jack didn't know if he was happy with that or not, truth to tell he would sooner have arrived quietly, found Clare and took her back to London but that plan was dashed but he did know that he couldn't make her do anything she didn't want to do so he would need to be at his most persuasive, maybe even compromise a little.

As they approached the jetty Jack could feel her presence, she was here somewhere,
He let out a mighty roar of anguished relief,

"CLARE MY LOVE"

Of course he got no reply but Earl grinned a weather beaten smile at him.

"Don't worry Jack she'll be along before long."

Hettie was excited. If she understood Capt'n Earl right, he was bringing a surprise for Penny. The man that she grieved over. Looking out, she could see the Tibbit heading into the harbour. Picking up her spyglass, she stepped outside and scanned all along the east side of the island until she found what she was looking for - a flash of red from that old beat up shirt that Penny always wore.

She stepped back into the office and pulled out the book, waiting. She didn't care what Earl said, this man would not harm Penny if she had her say.

The young man fairly burst into the room, his eyes hunting about as if he expected to find her in the building. Hettie held up her hand to shush him before going through her speech.

"Welcom' ta Lundy. As Oi'm sure Capt'n Earl told yew, ever'one must log in an' log out."

She turned the book around and watched him sign. Jack Freeman. She had called out to a 'Jack' when she was her sickest. And it was his picture that Penny wore against her heart.

"Jack Freeman? There be a couple uv questions Oi needs ta ask yew 'fores Oi tells yew ware she is."

Hettie looked at him stern

"Are yew married causin if yew are, then Earl kin just take ya back. Penny is fragile right now an' Oi won't see 'er 'urt."

She took a deep breath and continued.

"Were yew tha one that beat 'er up and made 'er lose tha baby? Yew answer my questions an' Oi will tells yew where ta find 'er."

Hettie stood there, arms crossed and keeping guard over her new friend.

As soon as the boat was tied up alongside Jack was wanting to be off to find Clare as soon as possible but Capt'n Earl stopped him,

"Not so fast young fella, there's formalities to be gone through first, ah'll tek ye t'meet 'Ettie, she'll go through it all wiv ye."

Jack was in a hurry and he burst into the room half hoping that Clare would be there waiting for him. However Hettie made him sign the visitor's book and he saw the name Penny March but it was in Clare's distinctive handwriting, so she was definitely here but under an assumed name.

To his annoyance Hettie began to grill him about his marital status making it clear that if he was indeed married he was not welcome.

"No, I am not married, but I mean to be soon, the reason I am here is to find my fiancee, Clare Edison, I recognise her handwriting and see she has signed her name as Penny March, so if you would tell me where I can find her we can leave on the next boat back to the mainland."

Jack's temper almost boiled over at her next question,

""Were yew tha one that beat 'er up and made 'er lose tha baby? Yew answer my questions an' Oi will tells yew where ta find 'er."

Was this old woman accusing him of harming Clare? He could scarcely believe his ears,

"Certainly not, but I know who did and he is going to be severely punished for it among other crimes but if Clare had wanted you to know she would have told you herself."

Hettie's face broke into a broad smile,

"You'll do Jack Freeman, oi'll tell ya where t'foind 'er, but a word o' warnin', don't try t'bully 'er inta leavin', she's 'appy and contented 'ere wiv friends that care for 'er."

Jack calmed down at Hettie's words and understood the truth of them. they cared for her and were protecting her. He understood the reason for Clare's flight, she wasn't trying to get away from him, but her past, at least, her recent past, here she could live quietly with no reminders of Cora, Quentin, Lord and Lady Clarkson and all the other dark shadowy figures that had ruined her life.

"Don't worry, I want what is best for her just as you do, if that means she wants to stay then I will not try to persuade her otherwise. Now can I go and see her?"

"Of course ye can, jest foller the path outside and dahn t'beach."

Jack followed the directions until he reached the beach and saw the figure sitting with her knees drawn up and and appeared to be crying. So as not to startle her he walked silently along the sand until it scrunched beneath his feet and she looked up.

"CLARE!!"

He held his hand out to her.

She tasted salt - salt from the wind, salt from the surf, salt from her tears. Inside, she felt as grey as the fog that was burning off. She felt empty. The sand crunched off to her right and she glanced up, expecting one of the locals. Jack stood there.

CLARE!!

She couldn't believe it. He had found her, wanted her. How could he? How could he still want her? Would he still want her after she told him about the baby.

He held his hand out to her. The face that looked back at her held no recriminations, no hate, no disgust. She reached up and took his hand and warm fingers took hold and lifted her and suddenly she was in his arms. Her tears flowed as he just stood there holding her. She felt as if she would never be able to stop crying.

"Jack, I can't believe that you would want me enough to hunt for me. Oh Jack, there is so much that you don't know about..."

She couldn't continue and buried her face against his chest. The smell of him filled her lungs and she wanted him to hold her forever, to never let her go. And yet, she was afraid that he would do just that. Let go. And it would break her heart.

Jack took her in his arms holding her close and tight, so very close, so very tight, he didn't want to ever let go of her. Her face was pressed into his chest and he could feel her sobbing, he said nothing just holding her and taking in her all too familiar odours, the smell and the feel of her hair.

"Jack, I can't believe that you would want me enough to hunt for me. Oh Jack, there is so much that you don't know about..."

He held her face back into his chest,

"Shush baby, Of course I want you, you have led me a merry dance that's for sure but all that matters is that I have found you and I'm here with you. I think I know why you left but we can talk about that later, and by the way I know about the baby, it must have been horrible for you but at least you have some good friends here, I was interrogated and threatened with deportation."

He put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up, "Do I get a kiss for tenacity?"

Her lips were warm and soft and tasted salty as he covered her mouth with his and lifted her off her feet.

"We need to talk and talk frankly and seriously about where we go from here, is your place far from here, I could do with a cup of tea."

As they walked to the Blue Bung they held hands neither wanting to let go of the other.

"Oh, 'e's found 'er. He's got 'is 'and out ta 'er. Oh! Oh!"

"W'at? 'ettie, either tell me or give me the glass!"

"Just a minute an' Oi'll tell yew. She's in 'is arms an'... Yeah, they're kissin'."

"Does she look 'appy? Does she look loike she wants 'im? Cause if she don't then Oi'll go gets 'im an'..."

"Oh yes, she's in luv. Oi've seen it enough times ta recognize it." She put the spyglass down, tears streaming down her cheeks. "She's leading 'im back ta tha blue bung."

She heard a sniff and looked back to see Earl wiping his nose on his kerchief. Blinking quickly, he colored at being caught being sentimental.

"Oi think it's the fog. Sometoimes does that to me."

Hettie grinned. "Uh huh? Oi'll remember tha next toime we 'ave fog. Yew old sea dog! Yew 'ad better get going. Yure gonna be late gettin' back."

She watched Earl straighten his shoulders as he headed back to the boat that bobbed at the end of the pier. There was a smile on her face as she stood looking out to sea where Brian was. He should be in some time today and she had lots to catch him up on.


*****


As they got closer to the blue bung, she didn't know how she was going to tell him everything. That she couldn't go back. She just couldn't. Here was a peace that she thought she could never find. And if they were together, then it would be heaven. London. The thought of going back made her physically ill.

Reaching the cottage, she led the way in.

"It's not a large, grand place, but I don't need a large, grand place. Bathroom is to the left through the kitchen of you need it. Let me just put the kettle on."

While he headed for the bathroom, she busied herself in the kitchen with the tea. She was scared. What if he tried to make her go back? What if he gave up on her and left. Both options frightened her. She heard him behind her come out of the bathroom and nervously spoke.

"There are no phones on the island. Just a couple of two-way radios. One is back at the Harbour House where you signed in. Hettie is in charge of that. One is at the tavern. I'm sure that there are private ones but I don't know who has them. There's really no cars on the island though I think that whoever lives in the big house at the other end may have one. If you want to get comfortable in the living room, I'll bring the tea in."

When he came out from the bathroom Clare had her back to him and was telling him about the island, she sounded happy and contented with her life here and he knew that she would never come back to London with him. He wanted her so badly but he had to be careful with her. If he made a pass at her she could well think that he only wanted her for her body but if he did nothing she might think that he didn't want her, so he had a decision to make.

He stood behind her and ran his hands down both smooth soft arms before wrapping his arms round her waist and cupped both firm breasts and kissing the back of her neck.

"Your life here seems idyllic Clare, the only thing that is missing is a husband, is there anyone on the horizon?"

He was talking an enormous risk but he had to know for certain that Clare wanted only him. He squeezed her breasts gently through her shirt and even though she tensed she didn't remove his hands or try to move away.
He turned her round to face him and kissed her probing between her soft lips with his tongue, trying desperately to keep his raging erection under control.

Suddenly, he was behind her, his arms wrapped around her and she stiffened, almost afraid. His lips on the back of her neck.

Your life here seems idyllic Clare, the only thing that is missing is a husband, is there anyone on the horizon?

Suddenly he turned her around, his lips on hers, his tongue probing into her mouth as she melted into his arms. The word 'swoon' flitted through her head.

Once she was able to catch her breath, she put her hand against his chest to stop him, or at least slow him down.

"Jack, Clare is dead. Please. I'm Penny. Penny March. Mrs. Penny March, a widow. I suspected that I was pregnant and did not want my child, our child, to suffer the stigma of being a bastard. I didn't know that you would want me enough to look for me. That's what these people know me as. Please never use that other name again."

She was afraid to look him in the eyes, afraid that he would hate her. Or think less of her.

"As to a husband on the horizon, I had hoped that I would though I'm not so sure right now if he would still want me. At least on my conditions. He may not think that I'm worth it after all. And if he were to feel that way, I would...would..." She could not finish her words for a second as her tears began again. With a deep breath, she tried to finish the sentence, still not able to look at him. "I would understand if he felt that way..." Almost as subtext, she mumbled against his chest. "...though it would break my heart."

In reply to his question regarding any other men in her life she stumbled over her words

' As to a husband on the horizon, I had hoped that I would though I'm not so sure right now if he would still want me. At least on my conditions. He may not think that I'm worth it after all. And if he were to feel that way, I would...would...I would understand if he felt that way......though it would break my heart." '

His heart swelled with pride and joy for in a roundabout way she had given him the answer he wanted.

"If he didn't want you he would be a damn fool but I doubt that is the case or else he would not have taken the trouble to find you."

He understood her reasoning regarding changing her name and being a widow in the eyes of her newfound friends so he plunged in,

"I was myself searching for a wife and believed her name was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh her name doesn't matter now, she is dead to me. I have found the girl I am going to marry, her name is Penny, Penny March, perhaps you know her, she is the most beautiful, kindest, sweetest girl in the world."

He had made his decision he would marry Penny and live on the island, their past lost in the mists of time and never mentioned again.

He swooped her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom.

Two hours later he lay beside her naked body trailing his fingers over her breasts and stomach. In between kisses he murmured, "Did you mention a tavern on the island my love? We should go and celebrate and you can introduce me to our future neighbours."

She had not realized that she was holding her breath until he answered her.

I was myself searching for a wife and believed her name was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh her name doesn't matter now, she is dead to me. I have found the girl I am going to marry, her name is Penny, Penny March, perhaps you know her, she is the most beautiful, kindest, sweetest girl in the world.

She threw her arms around him, her heart happy at his words. Suddenly, he was carrying her and she found herself in the bedroom as he undressed her, kissing her the entire time. And yet, she was afraid as if it were her first time again. As he laid her down and quickly undressed himself, she hoped that he would understand her hesitation.

He climbed into bed beside he and she placed a hand against his chest, his heart beating rapidly against her fingers.

"Jack, please take it easy with me. I just lost a baby. I don't want to suddenly be pregnant again.

He nodded and showed her a side of him that she had never seen before. Gentle and kind, even more so than he had ever been before, he made love to her, wiped away her tears, kissed away her fears.

After a while, he expressed a need for food. She smiled at his request as she was hungry too.

Did you mention a tavern on the island my love? We should go and celebrate and you can introduce me to our future neighbours.

She nodded and within 30 minutes, they were dressed and she was showing the way to the tavern. It was only about a block away, just a quick walk around the stone wall a walk down the street.

When she first walked in, there were calls out to her of hello, which quickly died when they saw Jack with her. Mary came over to their table and told them that today it was Shepherds pie.

"That sounds good Mary. Okay for you Jack? It's either that or a sandwich. I recommend the pie. Maurice makes a good pie."

"Aye, that 'e does."

As they waited for their food, one of the younger men drinking at the bar began to get mouthy. She didn't really know his name though she had noticed him watching her before. Mary was hushing him as he began to get louder.

"Well, Oi didn't know that tha widder wus ready ta go courtin' agin or Oi wood uv tron my 'at in."

It grew quiet in the pub and she felt Jack stiffen. She knew that he wanted to protect her, and she really didn't want to cause trouble. Besides, she knew that Mary really had her eye on the young man but the guy had not noticed how the young barmaid was always quick to fill his mug, or touch his arm when she talked to him, or laugh at his silly jokes. Mary was a cute girl with a trim figure and a twinkle in her eye.

She stood and addressed those gathered in the tavern.

"I should probably introduce my friend. This is Jack Freeman. My fiancé."

You could hear a pin drop as the news soaked in. Then suddenly, the place was filled with well wishers.

Jack was overwhelmed by the friendliness shown to him after Penny (he had to keep reminding himself that she was Penny now, not Clare or Cora.) had declared to everyone that he was her fiancee. He was congratulated and slapped on the back and the ale kept flowing, Hettie and Mrs Triffit gave him a kiss on the cheek and Mrs Triffit told everyone "See, oi sed it'd be alright, I DO 'ave the sight."

The only blight on the evening was the obnoxious young man who became louder and louder with his comments about Penny,

"I do 'ear that red 'aired women are 'ot in bed, is that roight Jack or mebbe she'd loike t'compare yew wiv an Islander, put ma name dahn if she does."

Mary was becoming distinctly angry with him and his lewd comments and she finally exploded when he lurched over and grabbed Penny and tried to maul her and kiss her.

Mary pulled him away and stood in front of him hands on her hips, "Morgan Cawsley yer no more than a drunken slob ternight, in t'mornin' yer gonna climb outta ma bed an go apologise t'Penny so there, an' yes yer big stupid oaf oi DID say MY bed, are yer so stupid yer can't see that oi luv the bones of yer, 'eaven knows why but oi do."

The tavern erupted in cheers, whistling and catcalls, it seemed everyone knew how brightly Mary's torch burned for Morgan, everyone except Morgan that is.

Jack put his arm round Penny and whispered "We should rename this LOVE ISLAND." and he gathered her in for another kiss.

The shepherds pie was wonderfully filling and the atmosphere in the tavern became one of celebration. Mary was suddenly the center of Morgan's attention and there was no doubt as to whose bed the young man would be waking up in. Mrs. Triffit proceeded to recount to anyone who would listen just how she had predicted that Penny's true love would arrive on the island within the next 3 days. And with every retelling, more was added to it.

Finally, Penny was tired and ready to get back to the blue bung, as she figured was Jack. It had been a long, emotional day. They said good night to everyone and headed back to the cottage, with Penny yawning the whole way back. Jack kept his arm around her, drawn close to him as they walked, his lips pressed to her temples in sweetness.

"Jack, would you really be happy with me here at the end of the world? What about your job? Your work?"

They reached the front door and she turned the key, stepping into the snug cottage. Jack locked the place up tight and followed her into the bedroom. She undressed, stifling another yawn. She was tired and longed to curl up in his arms and sleep. This morning she was sad and alone and seeing nothing but an empty life of solitude. But he had searched for her. All this time, he had hunted and searched. He wanted her. And she wanted him with all her heart. And now she would not be alone.

Jack was relieved when Mary stepped in and tore a strip off Morgan as he was close to thumping him for the way he was talking to Penny as though she was no more than a common whore to insult. The very last thing he wanted was to start a brawl on a night of celebration. However when Mary made her feelings for Morgan known he turned his attentions to her and sat her on his knee and whispered in her ear what she had to look forward to later that night and she whispered back what he had to look forward to. They sealed it with a kiss and comments from all sides about why hadn't he realized it before?

Penny was getting tired and Jack suggested that they leave early and they walked the short distance to the Blue Bung with the chorus of a ribald sea shanty ringing in their ears,
" Hey, Mr. Fisherman, how do you do?
Have you a lobster big enough for two?
Singing roll tiddly oh,
Shit or bust,
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust.

They didn't hear anymore as the door closed behind them but Jack was determined that he would learn the rest of it so he could join in in the future. For now though Penny was his priority and he watched her undress and slip into bed naked. He had drunk too much to do much more than hold Penny in his arms and kiss her goodnight, completely happy and relaxed for the first time in weeks.

Next morning there was a knock at the door and standing there was a shamefaced Morgan with a grim faced Mary standing beside him.

"Go on then, apologise to Penny, properly now." Mary prodded him in the ribs.

"It's really not necessary, just the ale talking, I'm just pleased that it got you two together."
Jack said graciously,

"Penny is still sleeping so I'll pass on your apology."

"Mighty good of yer Jack, would have served him right if you had given him a bloody nose." Mary grinned and pulled Morgan away by his ear.

The sun peeked through a small slit in the curtains and hit her right in the eyes. Slowly she became aware of voices and was confused for a moment. Then she recognized Jack's voice and relaxed. He loved her! The front door closed and she heard him move around as she rolled over. Eyes closed and facing the door, it was quiet and she finally opened her eyes to find him standing in the doorway watching her. He had slipped on his pants to answer the door but his bare chest made her long to curl up with him.

"Who was it?" She grinned when he told her and he grinned back. She lifted the covers and gave him a glimpse of her nude body. It was surprising how quick he shed his pants and climbed back in bed with her, wrapping his arms around her.

"There's something that I need to say. I'm sorry that I lost the baby. It was yours, no one else's. Doc said that it was because of what 'He' did to me." She couldn't say that evil man's name but she knew that he knew who she meant. "But he said that there was no permanent damage." She pressed her body against his. "I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl. But I had thought that even if I didn't have you, I would have the baby, and it would be a part of you." She pointed to Jack's old red shirt that had been thrown in the chair across the room. "Just like your shirt there. I could wear it and pretend that it was your arms wrapped around me. But a shirt cannot take the place of the real thing. Please, don't ever let me go Jack."

He held her tight, and the kiss he gave her was slow and deep. For the next hour or so they made love, and Jack was gentle as if he understood that was all she could take.

Some time later, as she lay protected in his arms she asked, "so, what is next? You know that you need to let the guys know that everything is fine or they will come looking for you too. That means a trip back to the mainland."

Penny's reminder that he needed to return to the mainland so he could call his friends and let them know that he had found her, although not in quite the circumstances he had thought, made him think. There was the question of the wedding, they would want to come, of course they would but did Penny want them to come, reminders of her past life that she so desperately wanted to forget.

"Penny dearest, would it upset you if I were to invite, George, Charlie and Tommy to the wedding, forewarning them of your story so they don't make any gaffes? We both need to go to the mainland and as Barnstaple is the larger it is more likely to have a suitable wedding outfit for you and I am in need of a new suit myself, can't have everyone saying 'look at that down and out she's marrying'. Not only that, I made a promise to someone and only you can keep that promise for me."

Jack would say no more but said they would spend the next day on the mainland.

Invite the guys to the wedding? She was nervous about that as she had hoped to disappear into the mists of time, with only Jack knowing who she really was, and where she had disappeared to. She had hoped to never hear those names again. Cora Edison. Clare Edison. She was actually afraid to leave the island. It was silly, but she felt almost safe on Lundy, like a bubble.

But she had done things with these men that she really wished forgotten. She began to cry.

"How can you forgive me when I can't forgive myself? And how can they forget those things too? When they look at me, they won't see Penny. They will see Clare. Or Cora. And if they hear about the baby, will one of them think that the baby was theirs?"

She looked at him before burrowing down in his arms, afraid that he would let go of her and she would be lost.