New Poetry Recommendations

today''s reviewer has already mentioned it, but i would like to add my recommendation as well.

i think everyone should read A Long, Empty Space

New Poems Review Tuesday 1st February part 2

Ok... Here are some more reviews for your perusal....

'Train of Thought' by serenade is a jaunty and quite catchy poem, with an upbeat cadence and thoughtful imagery. An enjoyable read, if a little simple. (btw If someone puts a tune to it, I’ll sing it when I’m drunk… preferably to the style of Willie Nelson or Johnny Cash.)

‘the clickity click ticks
of the rumbling tracks
always brings her memory back
rolling metal on a one way rail
carries me on a wind of prayer’

A second mention today for wickedeve with 'Like a Bug on my Windshield' To me, they always where bugs on my windshield, but to our writer there a subject for a subtle little poem about the inevitably of loss.

‘I still recall your lips
pressed against my window
while I drove less slowly
down the lane.’

Still on the subject of inevitability and loss, we have 'One More Reunion' by jthserra. A touching poem of memories and bereavement. Solemn and heartfelt throughout, it shows a poignancy interlaced with a touch of humour that can only be written from personal experience.

‘ "Have you heard the story of the Rice Crispies?"

I know, I know
it’s a serial
I'll come back tomorrow.
And now I wait
wondering if you'll
come back
tomorrow.’

'Attraction' by bluerains is a good effort. Rich with eroticism and seductive imagery, it’s heated pace serves it well. It is a little garrulous in parts and could benefit with some adjustments to pace and flow, but overall an enjoyable read.

‘Rivulets of rich moist kisses
pasted against soft sensous shoulders,
aromatic vanilla wispy hair
crosses paths with hungry lips
trailing down exposed breasts.’

And finally we have 'I just want to be fucked' by Super_Genius, another hot and lusty poem. Throwing all subtlety and vague imagery out the window and settling for the straightforward (even if a little blunt) approach, it delivers a rough and heady message. It is a little boorish and lacks any real tangible structure (but then so do most good f*cks), but it does show a certain amount of honesty.

‘Grunting like an animal in heat
You don't need sweet words
Soft kisses will do nothing for me
I don't need your tenderness tonight’


Well, thats it for now... Theres still 2 or 3 poems to look through, so there might be a small update later.

Wednesday Poetry Review

Good morning poets!

I'm working 2 jobs, so I can't promise to be here every Wednseday, but I have missed you all and missed your words more.

My opinion is my opinion. If you have a different opinion, feel welcome to share.

Quetzalcoatl Sings by Du Lac is a treasure box of wonderful phrases and a deep essence of ancient erotic magic. Nice! Many good strophes, but here's one I particularly enjoyed-

Fucking me
the marrow of my bones melt
I bleed ...
blood
marrow
sacred cream

Click to expand...

Just taking time out for breakfast. I'll be back with more!

September Winds by bluerains is a wonderful piece giving due to the hurricanes that have ravaged the east coast and draws a succinct correlation between them and the political winds ravaging our world. Here's the first delicious taste:

What was breathed into the stratos
was captured by a sea with stormy eyes.
Life was reborn from leviathan breakers
when dawn opened its whirling skies.

Click to expand...

when you came down from heaven by Wicked Eve is a cryptic poem and I'll admit, I don't feel qualified to comment on it. Go read it and share your thoughts. I loved this:

beneath my eyes,
you smudged me,
charcoal fingers--
for thirteen days I dreamt.

Click to expand...

Drawing by Trent_Dutch is really well drawn. Nice phrasing that illuminates deep feelings and confusion about a past relationship. I love the opening:

I drew her,
Like I would a bath.
I let the taps of my mind open,
And she came out.

Click to expand...

Dead Blooms and Dog Poison by Fflow is a funny look at a case of serious nerves suffered by a would-be Valentine sweetie. It made me laugh

Still, her door remains a barrier to
His hopes and aspirations.

Perhaps things would go better
If he knocked.

Click to expand...

This by seannelson is very good! Nice imagination and fresh images:

This canvas is the ocean
This denim is the sea-
This pen's a thrashing Mermaid
This coffee's really tea

Click to expand...

Ok, there are a lot more still, so I'll post these and get back at it. I'd hate to lose all this work if I crashed!

Syn

More Wednesday Poetry

At the Window by Remec was a warm winter treat. I loved this picture!

watching through the crystal-coated pane
as across the glistening stream
and its automotive banks,

Click to expand...

Stone Cold by My Erotic Tale conveys deep feelings of loss reflected in the winter freeze. It could be a bit tighter, but a good read:

"My image reflected in the window's pane
like a tear falling, on this side of the glass."
condensation and watery eyes
"Nine years ago ... you were still alive."
the rocking subsides

Click to expand...

My favorite so far today is Pre-Modern Prosody by JCSTREET. It is an amazing collection of thoughts that I read over and over and enjoyed more with each reading.

. . . and I have some vacuum-packed cookies walled up in the basement for after the war.

Click to expand...

Premiere by Liar is a wonderful look at the coming of snowfall. Lovely!

Not tearing like
the sub Celsius bite
draws tears with every gust,
but sinking stealthily inside,
sucking mere will out of marrow.

Click to expand...

Posting this, coming back with the rest!

Last installment of Wednesday's poetry!

Whew! There were a total of 50 new poems today. And I suddenly remember why I don't review anymore. This just sucked 3 hours off the top of my only day off.


un-fair by Wicked Eve is a wonderful illustrated poem. I lked the sights and the sounds. Go have a look!

A Winter Equality by foehn is a delightful look at the sapping of strength and the wishing for spring. Nicely done.

I’m caught behind glass, craving
warmer reasons for living: faith, growth.
I grow weary, waiting,
equal with winter’s everything.

Click to expand...

Also submitted were a whole bunch of mediocre "illustrated" poems that did not seem to be illustrated. Frustrating!

So, that's it. And I hope you will pardon this one shameful plug for my own new story. It's not a poem, but it's really hot! Follow the link in my signature!

Syn

Here be the Thursday recommendations

Many good poems (according to me ho-hum) today. So brace thyself...


Particle Accelerator by Fflow ©
I don't know much about this poet, but I will definitely keep my eye out for more. Fflow had a whole bunch of poems up today, displaying borth variation and quality. This one was the best of the bunch, a rolling, rocking lament with a simple and yet simply smashing opening stanza. Go read, pronto.

Kin by Reltne ©
There is not very much to say about Reltne's latest poem. And when you read it, you'll see why. Short, profound and Really Fucking Clever.

The Longest Day by msboy8 ©
Written in the ever so popular 5-7-5 style, but I didn't realise that until the third time I read it. I just thought "damn good to get such an accurate feeling in it with so few words". Very good.

Aero by Lauren Hynde ©
Eloquent, intelligent and alive prose poetry that takes you on a journey. A play with tempo and form and the effect it has on the reader. A first class writing craft, and an emotional ride to boot.

never land lunch hour by annaswirls ©
A sweet little read here from anna. It's an art to be stringent and still keep that certain magic in a poem. I think that is done very nicely here.

Irresistible by sweetnpetite ©
This is a really nice little marine fairytale, athough it does feel like the intro to a longer epos that I kind of wish I could read.

Frosted Pain by Miss Oatlash ©
Miss O's contribution to the winter competition speaks of an inner chill, and speaks well.

forgiveness by seranade ©
...and seranade's ditto is just a blast.

New White Shoes, Red Laces by Randi Grail ©
Kids. Dontcha just love'em? Here is a piece of sweet, serene poetry with some great images caught by a keen eye.

Burn Baby Burn by sandspike ©
The entrepeneur within sandspike peeked out and offered a new suggestion in a great little poem. A fun read with a not-so-slightly naughty innuendo.

Small pleasures by robert12 ©
A little different in both layout, subject matter and execution. Definitely worth a look.

fin.

#L

Friday 2/4/2005

The thermometer is left at 50 on the comment section
It does not indicate my vote.

No need to mention the opinion crap.

My Kristmas Karol - illustr8rrr

A cross between Shel Silverstein and eminem , a cynical look at the after christmas blues of various famous characters.
Pretty clever and well constructed
It made me laugh a few times
Check it out

Gaia - Boomerengue

After looking up Gaia this poem manages to put the philosophy of a basic truth into a few simple words.
Alan Watts once said " What does the earth do?..The earth ' peoples' "
It does what it needs to do to survive
self cleaning, self regulating
and when it all gets to be too much...it'll reboot

it is at once both a powerful and hopeful poem expressed in very simple direct words.

Common Erotic Vulgarity - SummerMorning

This has some good ideas and some decent writing

~erotica is the blade
between the vulgar
and the common~

and
~detergents destroy surface tension
pond skaters fall into the water
erotica dissipates into vulgarity~

I thought it needed a bit of trimming and the "vulgar" rant in the middle appeared too long ( perhaps grouping the words into longer "sentences"?)
but still an interesting take on the difference that we see at this site everyday.


He Swims - herecomestherain

a simple little love poem that has something very pure about it.
i think it's the end.
I liked it


kerosene and chocolate -Sabina_Tolchovsky

this has some nice imagery and it was kept short enough to make an impact.
the last three lines are worth the read.
and why it's listed as non-erotic is beyond me.
I found it very sensual.


Thats it for today
there were several poems which I assume are part of the survivor challenge...feel free to suggest any that peak your interest.

have a good weekend
Go Pats

(double post repair)

Friday 4, 2005

I will be with you forever by Annora

clip~

You'll think of me when your mind drifts I made you laugh, caused you to feel
I made you cry, only to want me more.


The Paramount Poem for friday was
endearing and at the top of the list
Annora has a style all her own!
And it shines in this nice poem ...
"I will be with you forever ..."

also posted was Annora's Poem ...

I am Strong
Annora has hurdled some extreme 'hurdles'
here at lit, and for that she shows she is STRONG!
I admire that ... <grin>

New Poems Reviews
for Saturday 5, 2005

Hello poets,
here are todays poems and my thoughts
and feelings 'I' got from reading them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

...and so we dream by twelve0one
clip~
"What ho," a lone musketeer says,
touchlit with sweaty face, meandering,
genderless, "we are all in one,
meeting in Tiresias"
As we dig for graves in the ashes
of Iceland in '83-85
a skull with the hair intact
the tell-tale signs
of fluoride in the bones of Viking’s
descendants who lived by the opening of hell
these men and their horses
dying most piteously
this woman who gives, unwanted, from the center
and takes back by undulating sea
This extradordinary poem is riddled with
so many great lines that the poem should
probably be read twice to get a majority
of the impact it has on a reader. History
and Art are put to canvas and screen
with 1201's literary Art~

That's one hell of a dream 1201~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your One and Only Drug by saldne

clip~
Breath in
My scent
That was left
On your pillow
Where I last laid
My head, and

Think of me
As your one and only drug


I think it's tricky to write a poem
about drugs, not for medical purpose
anyway, love is addicting, as is the
topics in this poem too, scent, feel etc.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erotic humor
Lorelei by Sugarbaby4u
clip~
She looked askance and flicked her hair
"Mien Gott", she thought, "what have we here?"
her eyesight needed no correction
when she espied his large erection.

I found this poem to be cute and
entertaining, The spacing is sparse
but the content was enjoyable~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
answered by anaswirls

clip~
I carry you always north
today it is crawl on
gravel dented knees

darling meet me
altitude dizzy
oxygen starved


ana swirls so poeticly and so easily
this poems ending speaks of the color
red from closed eye lids and light. I am
very impressed ... a must read!
...a zen master poem!

also ana has a poem ...'propagation'
that posted today as well...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Madonna Whore by SyndraLynn

clip~
I embrace diversity
divine, sublime
perversity
worship all the faces of
my holy femininity
This poem's perception of women
and their needs is touching, clever
and probably right on mark!
explore the feminine side~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
carrier waves by bluerains

clip~
dancing duet dance
resonated by shared hearts
spun from past rememberance
as feathered phantoms
fly with no freedom
witty word wizard bluerains writes
a very good poem with a drum beat
to it's read (or did for me: )
excellent poem~

also posted by bluerains today
taken ~
and
recycled~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
freezerburn by Princess Rayann

clip~
your tongue
with its biting remarks
and cold tone
set me shivering
like ice-laden branches
being disciplined by the wind

the Princess has a strong wording
way that captivates a reader and holds
them to last letter. Wit and charm are
bountiful in this excellent poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hear you by Ninja Nookie

clip~
There is a moment,
when the door slams shut,
that the mind wonders,
if it's really you.
but then there's no denial,
the sound of those keys
and the table tossed ring.

Nin is no stranger to poems
and publishing, I fell for this one,
hook line and sinker. I felt led by
a strong erotic build up and the
end twisted into another 'thought'
very clever and great poetry~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hedonism Has a Face
by neo

clip~
There you are,
in my garden of lust
eating pomegranates
one seed at time,
neo has a way of making
anything seem so charming of course
I had to use my dictionary many times
today and this was one of them ...
'hedonism'~ doctrine that pleasure is
the chief cook ... neo cooks up a hot
poem with this write, thanks neo~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seascape by seannelson

clip~~
I wonder if, in her younger days, this earth might have been measured out, measured with, coffeespoons and T.S. Eliot.

I found this poet to be extremly
wonderful and put a touch on so
many things with so few words.
The write was tieing all things
together in some various ways
and great points were made,
I think I'll dabble in this poets
book shelf <grin>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would by Simply_cyn

clip If I could reach out through the constriction of distance
That separates my arms from enfolding you in my embrace
I would.

I would too!
This poems charming write
shows cyn's poetic flare
and feelings~ wonderful poem~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Mm I want one by doormouse
clip~
Watching a man work one between his fingers
Makes you crave to touch

A woman seen sucking on one
Is frowned upon
Yet we crave them too
Excellent erotic poetry~
nice poem doormouse!
I really relished in the ending,
a whip of 'what ---- oh ...ok' cool!
<grinin>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SERPINS OX pt.1 Anagram of my Youth by Trent_Dutch

clip~
Until I come full circle,
Do unto others,
What has been done to me,
And do unto you now,
What has been done to me.

you can really get a sense of
the writers pace and visual thoughts
It felt like a dreary movie but moved
like a tiger keen and sharp only beaten
tired and hungry for the thoughts
of youth! Very cool poem!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sweet Saxaphones Lust by chezcubby1

clip~
Our hips swaying to the beat ,
of the dolorous ululation,
of a ravenous alto sax.
a poetic dance to an alto Sax~
vey nice poem, another witty
word wizard that spices the read
with alluring swaying words <grin>
letters danced on the page~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Color of Absence by The Mutt

clip~
The year’s longest night heralds winter’s arrival;
the sun flees in tears from her frost-covered grave,
the moon veils its sorrow in clouds thick as woodsmoke,
as red embers fade to the still gray of ashes


Mutt's poem shines with poetic words
and a flurry of feelings. Very good poem
is it a sonnet? <grin>
it is most definetly a paramount poem~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
that's round one, perhpas later I'll
go back and read some more.
If not feel free to read and or post
a NEW poem!

reminder to post all relpies to the thread
...to keep the new poems revies thread clear!

thanks for the journeys...

I just wanted to share with you the original source of such a cool image and give credit where credit is due

Seascape by seannelson

clip~~
I wonder if, in her younger days, this earth might have been measured out, measured with, coffeespoons and T.S. Eliot.

I found this poet to be extremly
wonderful and put a touch on so
many things with so few words..........
>

Click to expand...

" After noons will be
measured out, measured out, and
measured with coffee spoons, and T.S. Eliot "
Crash Test Dummies

From the album 'Unknown album'

Afternoons and Coffespoons -

What is it that makes me just a little bit queasy
Times when the day is like a play by Sartre
Maybe if I could do a play by playback

There's a breeze that makes my breathing not so easy
When it seems a book burning's in perfect order
I could change the test results that I will get back

I've had my lungs checked out with X rays
I gave the doctor my description
I've watched the summer evenings pass by

I've smelled the hospital hallways
I've tried to stick to my presciptions
I've heard the rattle in my bronchi


Someday I'll have
a disappearing hair line
Someday I'll wear
pajamas in the day time

After noons will be
measured out, measured out, and
measured with
coffee spoons, and T.S. Eliot

My intention, is not to step on Art's toes; he mentioned.
The Color of Absence by Mutt
But rather to call special attention to, in case anyone else missed...(where was I?)
I tried leaving two comments on this, maybe they will show up.
I am ashamed, I missed this. I am stammering, I am that impressed with it...

Special

The Color of Absence by Mutt.

I think this is a special . Recommended for reading aloud, several times.

Here they are...

Sorry they are late all... I ripped apart my house redesigning it and my pcs were on and off lol... so sorry this is late.. but here we go....
Sunday's Reviews..

Ripe she is my addiction

An excellent write of impending motherhood, the simplicity of the poem allows the emotions to flow... for me overwhelming sadness that this woman has kept herself busy with material world childbirth duties.. and forgot the most important thing.. love thy self... only then can she be ready... sad but a truthful look at so many mothers..
Du~

Daylight by illustr8rr

You know me.. I like those poems that are dreamy and somewhat vague.. this one has a power that builds, you feel the event taking place in the short write.. nice..
Du~

A new poet amongst us... although I felt this poem still needs some work.. I think the essence is brillant and worth the read..

Empty Barren Space brightlyiburn

This is a great write.. I would do some changes break up into stanzas for a more powerful write. Also some repetition in wording.. play more with rhetoric...make it twist some like a worm getting into the readers mind.. for it already is in their soul.. the essence is outstanding, just a couple of changes will make it brillant..
good job..
du~

Eternity Blinks Sir Nathan

Very visual, and strong! I almost felt like Satan swirling down through the universe, time all that there is once in heaven and now plummeting into the gates of hell... wow.. this was a strong well written write.. thank you
Du~

A must read!!!! Lesson Poem for the use of rhetoric and visuals...

Winter Night The Fool

A gold star you earn with this one! An excellent write, perfection in the moment. I love how you do everything correct here, breaking down the seconds, catching the small essences of what makes the bleakness of a Jan. winter so powerful... loved this part:
quote:
And whirlwind leaves, not knowing they are dead,
Dance and twirl in and out of sight

Wow...thankyou for the read..
Du!

When I do these reviews I use two screens.. read, comment and paste as I go along... Always when I pop back and see that the next read is by serenade I get alittle quiver of excitment! I know I am in for a treat... like Ben and Jerrys ice cream on a hot summer day... oh my...(of course I don't always use the cone for the intended purpose lol.. had to add a laugh there too serious on only one morning coffee lol...!)

Indigo Blue Room serenade

There is a deep rhythm to this poem, I like the couplets and how they draw the reader into a waltz of the moment. I can see the woman here slowly dancing, her dance is just how she moves,natural beauty. The blue floating on her, all of her then just parts of her. Her smile, a breast, a leg, a hand etc. Indigo blue is a very spiritual color and I felt that from this poem.. ty
Du~

After reading a ton of DARK poetry.. which is all good.. but life is made of tears and laughter.. this poem really made my day...
A good read.... get read to smile!

Sex On The Farm by lindiana

OMG.. laughter again and such a wild ride..
My Erotic Interpretaion thedogman77004

I loved it!!! You Texas boys, I tell you... ready to pack the van and off I go...this was a fun ride babe..Caps and use of some rhetoric could be cleaned up, but hell sex is messy sometimes lol.. so that fits right in with this write HA!... ty for the ride..
du~

How better to end the reading.. a classic laugh and great read.. by Uncle Pervey!!

Greek Ladies' Gift! Uncle Pervy

I always smile with your poems! Well written and so much fun, I feel your just a good old time!!! Humor and honesty just are so ripe here.. Had a wonderful read ty!
Du~

Thank you all for the great reads... again I apologize for the late reviews.. damn them for not posting when I am ready to read HAHAHAHAHA! (deva denise speaks.. but gets me no where!)...
Remember all to write write write.. (need to take my own advice).. and read, comment on others poems.. what comes around goes around..
Have a smiling day!!
Du~

Monday's reviews...

In reverse order up the page, just for kicks...

Some sugar, please
by neonurotic

Such a smart girl,
never giving it all.
Hold back
stand back
until I ask

commiting more and more.

I loved the image of that girl, holding back what he needs until he asks. Something about this just works, and so well.

With The Devil
by champagne1982

Strong, heart-breaking words. The line breaks and placement, to me, fit perfectly. Rereading this several times, I get stuck at the last stanza. I don't know if it would be better tightened up, or if it is best as it is. No matter, this is excellent poetry.

Dichotomy Time
by Liar

The questions raised make this more than worth the read.

So brother,
what do you kneel to?
Who do you worship,
what brings you down
to mere bones
disassembled?

Thumbsucker
by flyguy69

Palms press flat,

trapped

on streaming marble.
Cheek leans into the flow
of mascara and moans
on a soap-slick wall.

If this doesn't flip your switch, you need to check and see if it needs some adjusting. Sharp, pulsing, intense images that're now floating around in my brain.

And now, for that cold shower.

masquerader
by bluerains

I envy the ability to stay within such tight form while using it so expressively.

Return to Cork
by Tathagata

I'm aching to put the last stanza of this in handy little italics, but it would lose its meaning without the rest of the verse.

(I feel cheated. I wanted to vote on this.)

SugarNSpice
by doormouse

This got a grin out of me. Great fun. Be sure and listen to the audio.

***
Thank you, poets.

New Poems Review for Tuesday 8th of February

Ok heres the New poems reviews for Tuesday 8th of February. Brought to you today by the letters B and H, the number 11, the wonderul people behind Columbian Supremo ground coffee and a Stan Getz CD on repeat..... enjoy.

First up today is 'Primal' by The_Fool. An efficient and heady little poem about unchecked lust (and the checking of it). The repetitive cadence and structure suit the subject matter well in most parts, and there are a few clever little lines.

‘Foreplay is a torn sweater
Kisses miss more often
Than meet’

'The Choice' by Du Lac also caught my attention. Somewhat reticent and reserved, it maintains a well-trimmed and tidy structure, with little in excess. Although it conveys its images and communicates its sentiment well, it seems very minimal (not that this is a criticism. I enjoyed this poems conciseness and consistency in tone).

‘Divided time lines,
Separated heart, antagonistic soul.
I stand still in the arctic circle,
Surrounded by southern breezes.’

'Shades of Blue' by catmajica is quite a disturbing poem (I think I actually shuddered during my second reading of it) about the pain (physical and mental) and crushing effect of abuse. Although a little ghastly in parts and lacking from a more measured insight into the situation, I found this poem to handle the topic well and the communication of its meaning (or at least the meaning I get from it), although not especially brilliant, is delivered more than adequately.

‘one big gaping, puss-ridden wound
maybe i can rot from view
no one would notice the smell’

It seems that verbal reticence is featuring quite heavily in today’s reviews with 'Product and Packaging' by seannelson being next in the spotlight. Although not entirely original in structure and execution (it instantly reminded me of King Crimsons ‘Coda: I Have a Dream’), the author handles this style well, to produce a verbally economic social commentary, which I find quite refreshing. My major criticism would be with the ending of the poem, the last two lines in particular, which I find slightly weak in an otherwise valiant effort.

‘beauty and nudity
vows and veil

realism and post-colonialism
dog and tail’

'Winter Walks' by Goldeniangel was another pleasant read. It conveys an appealing reminiscence of more innocent times. Although a little short and somewhat lacking in structure, it holds a pleasant image, sweetened with nostalgia.

‘Stroking my hood, lined with fur,
and wish for warmth again.
I watch the children playing by the lake
covered head to toe in white’


Well, thats it for just now. Expect a second part within the next 2-3 hours.

New Poem Reviews for Tuesday 8th of February. Part 2

'Ad Infinitum' by CharleyH is an interesting and engaging read. It is quite a long poem, but maintains its imagery throughout, with good use of metaphor and simile. My only concerns are that it lacks any real structure and could be accused of succumbing to vagary in parts. I would have preferred to see the three parts of the poem sharing a common structure, and it requires several careful reads before some of the more esoteric pieces fall into place. Nevertheless, I feel that the poem deserves a few reads and some attention.

‘Early morning fog rolled
off the Atlantic, ethereal over the shore.

The spill of salt,
like a relic of time
filled every breath I took.’

'River of Dreams (M.E.T)' by chezcubby1 is a rather sumptuous read that carries a laconic pace. It carries some good imagery with simple language well, although it suffers some from a lack of flow and a consistency in quality. I enjoyed the first two stanzas, and found the first stanza to be remarkable powerful despite its simplicity, but I felt the poem trailed of into generic and somewhat vague waters towards the end. A good effort all the same.

‘As he washed under the cold flowing waterfall,
He heard the call of the beautiful red cardinal,
When he looked into the pale blue sky,
a beautiful sight brought tears to his eyes,
A snow capped mountaintop kissing the clouds.’

'Poets Corner' by Remec was a sheer pleasure to read. With an ease and effortlessness, it maintains a consistent timing and flow throughout. It may be simple, but this poems unpretentious and minimal vocabulary and style show that it is possible to say with a few undemanding lines what most would take a page and a half to communicate.

‘Bound
and determined
to get it right
I work
and I slave
throughout the night’


Well, thats it for today. Enjoy the poems.

Edit.... By the by, I did try to post everyone a comment about their poems being reviewed, but I'm not sure if they all went through. If not, I apologise.....

Wednesday Review

These are the ones I liked, bottom to top.

If you liked others, please mention them here.

Desires Burnt Nightly by Gothickun is his first offering and a damn fine one. I love the dark edge and the twisted ending. Very erotic for a non erotic offering.


Our resident beach bum, sandspike brings us Beach Voyeur dejavu . It's well worth a second look.

Tathagata wrote one that I didn't care much for until I read the last line. Then I just shook my head and thought, "He's done it again." It's a very short read. Go check out his Prayer

THANK YOU Angeline for Corsage Girls . This is by far the best submission of the day. Like a breath of fresh air to a drowning woman, since I swam up from the bottom!

seannelson offered a visual feast in I Sought Beauty . Read this twice or thrice to enjoy all it offers.

And finally at the top of the list, drum roll please!

We have a well deserved E poem. Super_Genius paints a portrait with exquisitely chosen word paint. Love this. Prostitute

I hope each and every one of you will read, recommend those you love, and then go write something for the rest of us to read.

Bright Blessings

Syndra

and...

Sparkle - Syndra Lynn

What a great image and wonderfully uplifting poem
seeing the holy in the everyday
I've missed your writing sis
check it out
(That third line is perfect.)

2-11-05

Just a quick recommendation:


Beautiful Painter
by sandspike ©

living a bohemian modus operandi
dipping herself in self pity and superiority,
my God.... she wears it well.

Click to expand...

check it out see what you think.

Beautiful Painter

It's Friday, kids, the eleventh of February, which means it's time for my first review. Be gentle, and other jokes about virginity. >=]

It occurs to me to warn you that I will say something about every poem and that this something may not be particularly nice. If I don't like your poem, I'm going to say it. Everyone plays nice, here, and that's fine, but I'm a bastard. I don't like playing nice.

My reviews are only one uneducated guy's opinions, so keep that in mind before you get all apoplectic, or I'll say something mean about you, instead of your poem.

So, with that out of the way...

First up is rhubarb pie for breakfast by cavu182. It's an offering short of word, but no less stellar for its simplicity. And I can definitely identify with the ending. Check it out, or I'll club you like a baby seal.

Maria2394 brings us a short piece as well, rheuminations. Concise and honest, this poem tastes like emotional confusion. If you do not go read it, I will hunt you down and murder you with a hacksaw.

WickedEve, most desired of poets, has graced us with I Walk, showing us that she's not kidding about looking for a man.

"If I could only
breathe away these solitary miles
and warm myself in you."

A good, cold and lonely poem, riddled with good lines like Bonnie and Clyde's corpses were fulla bullets, I give this one my stamp of approval. Read it or face my wrath.

smoothlibra made me giggle like a schoolgirl with smooth, and not just because I shave, too. The line breaks in this feel a little ill-planned, but it's a worthy poem and if you don't read it, I'll rape you with a hatchet.

foehn gives us a classic poem in The Bullnettle Flower. I like foehn's style, which reminds me of the smell of old adventure books. In any case, I've encountered the nettle a time or two, and if you refuse to eyeball this piece, I'll just have to take your eyeballs away. With a bic pen. Slowly.

Sack brings us The Last Room on The Right, which is a heartfelt poem about losing someone who has not died. It's very strong, emotionally, but I feel that this poem is demeaned slightly by the lack of punctuation. I empathised with sack, while I read this, but was unable to really put myself in his shoes due to some mechanical problems. I believe that this could become an excellent poem, with a little work and a slight move away from some of the more solidly intellectual words that were used ('lucidity' sticks out, both in my mind and in the poem, as far as I'm concerned). Go read this poem, and tell sack what you think of his work.

Eve lays down words like oxygen and I was left a little uninspired. I can't point to any one thing, with this poem and say, "here's why!" but I didn't care for this piece. Luckily, I'm only getting paid for opinion. Go read it and decide for yourself, you lazy bastards! Still, the second half of the first stanza is put together neatly, so thumbs up, there.

msboy8 shuffles in with Sex Machine. It's short and I enjoyed it, though my initial reaction is, "I don't get it." Still, I want a girl with chromed tits. Go check it out and bring some quarters.

Goldeniangel offers up the first of several poems with Winter Pantoum and while I can't comment on whether or not it fulfills the requisites for being called a pantoum, I can say that I liked it, though I feel like there's something missing and I hate the phrase "silver daggers" though that's for personal reasons and may explain my bias. I did cherish the phrase "like small stars on earth," though. Go read it and decide for yourself. Or I'll maim your little toesy-woesies.

Eating Rage brings us to 2 of 5, for Goldeniangel and I really liked this poem. I don't know who you are, but reading this poem makes me love your passion. I don't see any comments on this one, and that makes the baby Jesus cry. Go read this, you selfish fucks. >=]

3/5 for Goldeniangel is Red Lips Flaunting. I didn't like this one as much as others, but the words,

'strong, beautiful and glorious
as the red dawn'

stuck in my memory very well. I would like this more if it were broken up, a touch and there's some words that I don't like in the beginning of the poem... some phrasing that could be more well thought out, is what I'm trying to say. Still, read this and rejoice or I will smite thee.

4/5 for Goldeni is In The Corner. This poem makes me think about performance art, and I react to both the same - "I missed something." I get a real sense that too much striving has brought this poem down. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of what I felt were worthwhile phrases in this poem, but on the whole, I didn't much like the way this one felt. Just my opinion. Go read it, yourself, don't listen to me.

5/5 for Goldeni is The Hospital Room which is a poem also filled with neat phrasing that still doesn't strike me the way I like to be hit. Still, it's heartfelt and emotionally strong and I'd like you to check it out.

Du Lac gives us a three for one sushi deal with Haiku 4. I liked the first one best of the three, disliked immensely the words "kismet spirits dance" and believe I missed the point of the third haiku. I see how they're all tied together, but I just don't get it. I suck, go check them out. Or I'll roll up your liver in seaweed and serve it raw.

Du Lac's second submission, Orange Crush Dreams just may be an ode to a particularly good kind of soda pop. It definitely is a look back at a time when a girl was younger. I remain slightly noncommittal about this poem. I don't like all of the words, but I caught the feeling completely. And I like feelings. Go read this, or you'll feel my fingers in your nostrils.

sandspike brings out Beautiful Painter and paints quite well a picture of a woman that I, at least, would like to meet in a dark alley. This is a pretty poem, a well done string of words, but I don't agree with the punctuation. A little wrench work, there, and I'll love it, but who am I? Just some asshole, baby! Go read this for yourself, or I'll mutilate your genitals.

Uncle Pervey brings out Who Murdered Hogan's Hero? which I thought could use a little work. I hate rhyme schemes with a passion, but have been able to respect them when they're well done. This was not particularly well thought out, and the lack of time spent working on it feels very apparant. Still, as always, if you don't at least go and look at it, to see if I'm telling the truth, I'll beat you like a fuckin' stepchild.

Unless there are more poems posted to the New Poems page, that's it for today. I'll check back and update later tonight, before I dust off my guns.

~D.A.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I think Thursday’s poems got glossed-over, somehow or other, so I’m being presumtuous enough to fill-in. Sue me.

a propósito — good job, I thought, DeepAsleep, even though you accidentally mentioned my feeble effort (for which, thanks).

~~~~

My Erotic Tale finds some striking language to take the blossoming plum tree through the subsequent months.

From plum tree:

“But the winter makes it bare
loosing it's lustrous flowered flare”

A few technical errors here and there don’t seem to detract from the originality or emotion behind the poem at all.

~~

“Dear Love” by just_a_shy_girl20 is something like a prose poem in the form of one of those letters that never gets sent. Seems heart-felt, and I enjoyed the read.

~~

addicted by Syndra Lynn is an amazing free-verse wash that has already been commented upon by numerous readers. Check it out, for original language, simile, structure.

~~

Too short to quote, Ninja Nookie’s playful erotic poem will likely leave you with a smile.
kiss it?

~~

Dali’s Key by Tristesse is a tight, visual poem. Personally, I’m not terribly fond of poems that leave out so many articles of speech, which for me would make them “flow” better. But that this poem paints with words as effectively as Fundació Gala-Salvador Dalí painted with colors, is undeniable.

~~

Slipped exist[e]nce, by annaswirls, is one of those love/friendship poems that leaves one reeling from the depth of expression and emotion. Mundane things are turned into jewels by sheer force of the poet’s vision and skill:

“I would call your name over and again
until any question of your identity, removed.
But instead, I washed dishes and said goodbye…”

~~

Although for my taste a bit too conversational in tone, Innocuous by Trent_Dutch is a thought-provoking piece that is easily felt.

~~

It’s difficult for me to understand how Persephone worked her way in there, but Nor’easter by Angeline is a thrilling read:

“Spring seemed to breathe
closer, whispered I could
to my unbuttoned coat.
The air was full of maybe
and mudseason jokes…”

~~

All right. There are a number of efforts that are very short, some that are fairly plain to me, and I could have easily mentioned others. These seemed to me to be the best of the lot for February 10, 2005. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read the others. Every poet took the time to put a little of themselves at this site. Every one is worth looking at… especially since I may have inadvertently ignored your favorite author!

(New Poems)

/f

Thursday, February 10, 2005

[accidental double-post]

Sunday reviews...

FINALLY!!!! As the new poems grew long.. Du Lac busy ...waving and smiling to her Valentine.. on his long journey home.. she waits patient for the board to reappear.. .. slowly her patience fizzled so off she went for a nap.. dreams danced in her head.. (and no I won't share them yet lol..) and a miracle happened the board reappered and ta da her poem review is as follows..:

What is it? Remec

A tornado of words conforming into both a visual scene, a soul's yearnings, and a interesting intellect. Great write Remec
Ty
Du~

Things Left Unsaid duckiesmut

Haikuish!!!
Letter of the day.. for this poem is S..
Short
simplicity
salty
seductive
stimulat ing
sublimity

Superb! ty for the write.. Du~

Blackberry Jelly flyguy69

Jammy with erotic thoughts...
Nice, warm lusty undertones to a small moment. The flow is great and the poem draws you into the seduction with out too much sugar lol..
nice write..
ty
Du~

Masks of Change gingerfx

I really felt this poem, although I feel the wording can be indulged a wee bit more, the honesty and longing crawls under ones skin.. made me think of one of my favorite quotes:
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
ty for the write..
Du~

Drip Drop by Lilymelb

this has a strong emotional sense to the work, I would look at the flow more, but.. I am one when writing this dark type of poetry want discomfort and unease to be laced between the lines, using words that do not seem to fit..
this is strong here.. intensity created three fold for me at least because of this technique... so if you meant it good job.. if not .. lol.. good job

Healed by Two Pink Lines dreamsweet

What a wonderful way to open yourself to the gift of new life. A gift to this child to read love and comprehend how very special they are..
ty for the read..
Du~

The Soft Caress of the Fingertips chezcubby1

I really felt the "sensuality" of this poem. It was slow, strong and enticing. The only thing I would change is the first stanza:
quote:
The soft sensual caresses
of my fingertips
upon her bare smooth thighs
awakening the sensual secret sensations
deep in her sensuous heart

while I like the line awakening the sensual secret sensations.. you use sensual too many times find another word.. it loses the potency when replicated sensual, sensuous etc. too much in such a short space. Otherwise HMMM yeah... I Loved it.. very Valentine Day ish!
thank you for the read..
Du~

Valentine seranade

Sweet Cute thoughtful
Nice romantic thinking here.. oh he will get his way with the sweetheart that gets this one! A definate Melter lol..
ty
for the read
Du~

Hug Quasar
Lustful..
02/13/05 by Du Lac
I loved the style and the noticing of small things she does to seduce you... let you know what she wants..that is so hot when a man pays that much attention to his love..that he reads her with a word spoken.. Valentines day is surely breeding some lusty couplings of expressiveness!
ty for the read
du~

Step Up sensuall
A creative placing, with great attention paid to detail. Loved the erotic hotness of this poem. The style as well as the location very unique.
ty for the write..
du~

Silent Night secretscribe

I loved the lure of this poem. very gray but soft ... not as dark as it could be.. thank God! But real honest strong
good job
Du~

New Poet Alert:

White Black Omera

Out go the lights..
Letter of the day for this poem is..
P

perfect
powerless
purgatory
purge
p enetrating
profound

Pandora's box.. simplicity reigns..
ty for the write!
Du~

POEM OF THE DAY~~~

THE REWARD CARSONSHEPERD

ARCANE!
Loved this.. very simple but so deep.. makes one feel, think and reflect on just how they are leading their life..
Powerful write~
ty
Du~

My second favorite of the day:
Society's Whore Vampiric Mirage

Gripping~
I loved this brutal honesty of life and aging. Wow.. you did a fab job here... been there done that.. and so know that moment of reflection.. ty for you honesty and the read
Du~

And of course a witty discourse in the Art of rhetoric weaving lol..
P*e*r* My erotic tale
Letter for this poem is M:

mezmerizing
marvelous
magnetic
mashed
moments
moxie
miffed
musical
mental

Metaphysical! Ty you Art for the creative unique expresses of your Literal world..
Du!~

This poet is fast becoming one of my favorites
Requiem bluerain
Goddess realm of truth..
Blue this is great.. has the essence of Inanna's songs.. the sumerian summers of long forgotten lessons of love..
stunning
great write ty
Du~

So all there you go... Happy Valentines Day.. the Du is back on the road for a week.. so I will see you all next visit! Hope all is sweet and sticky this wonderful lusty Holiday!
Frankly if I have to read another Need filled poem it will not be too soon..I much rather be... Orange Crushed Du Lac Let me know how you like it all.. snickering away..
Du Lac

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.
(Yes, I'm a sap...and I'm good with that.)

Monday's reviews...

Within
by *CatBabe*

Often poets who attempt personification end up sounding like they belong in a padded room (and not the cozy comfy kind). But this, this is just lovely.

Winter is the naked season
when solitude falls
from smoky skies and coats
the world in frozen reflection.

Well...Maybe
by My Erotic Tale

I was caught and stuck at 'a blizzard in the mind'. Beautifully descriptive phrase.

Let Me
by vella_ms

I was a little unsure of the structuring and use of capitalization versus not capitalization at the beginning of each line. Putting that aside, I loved the language. 'Let my air be a wistful laugh' gave me the shivers.

Fathers past
by annaswirls

I'm hesistant to comment on something that feels so intensely personal, but I'm going to anyway.

'These are just things that happen', to me, encompasses an entire way of viewing the world, of acceptance and complacency, so incredibly succinctly...which you follow up with an image that worked in my head like a black and white movie reel- ticking seconds by thousands until 'time lost its voice'. I don't think there are often words more powerful than these.

Cat's Paw
by champagne1982

Invite day dreams into sunny
glades on a summer morn, hushed
as a kitten stalking her jittery
dandelion prey.

This image is stunning. Just stunning.

**
Happy reading.