partner keeps taking the lead

partners that keep taking the lead

In our house we both like being dominant from time to time. I find this a problem sometimes because sometimes when im being dominant my partner takes over and im left feeling a little unworthy so to speak. I tried to explain to him tgat for me to be a mistress he needs to totallt submit himself to me like I do for him. I am not a selfish lover, I like to please more than anything else, im self conscious about certain things and have lots of fantasies about dominating, but im unable to fully let myself go unless I feel that I have control. What else can I do?

Considering this thread, the other recent one and the older one here:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=66869403#post66869403

In your other thread you ask what role would best suit you considering that you like to give pleasure more than you like to recieve it.
I don't think that alone would tell you if you are dominant or submissive.
Ask yourself instead if you like to control him.

It might turn out that you don't like to actually control him in a sexual setting, but still like to "do things" to him.
It could also be that you want him to just do what you tell him while he wants to struggle a bit and be controled or forced.
Then that needs to be discussed between the two of you.

This doesn't mean that you need to call yourself submissive in or out of bed or feel less worthy or anything.
Don't let vocabulary or ideas of how things should be stand in your way.

Stella's essay might be helpful.
ETA Stella with extra sparkle:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=42017419&postcount=148

Positive reinforcement is a great thing. If you really really want to dominate in those moments, when he doesn't play as you expect him to then stop playing. Don't let him turn the tables. Tell him you're done for the night and have a good cuddle. When he does follow along and stick it out, reward him.

I'm assuming you've talked to him about it too. If not, you should. If he really isn't interested in submitting, he should be upfront about it.

It sounds to me like you both like being dominant but only you are comfortable with being the sub. In other words, he is a dominant and you are a switch.

Thank you all for your replies. They are very helpful