The Birth of Horny Town U.S.A.

If we're gonna have Hot Rods, Dragsters, Funny's, Nitro's, Tuners, Drifters, et al then we'll need a speed shop/garage and more importantly a drive-in restaurant where the motorheads can hang out and occasionally have a scrap, but more often than not just get laid.

Chicks dig cars, man.

Are there any of ol' Horny's descendants still living in town? I can imaging Horatio Horner VI showing up at the drive-in in a concourse condition 1938 Lincoln touring car . . .

If you think chicks dig hot rods, wait 'til you see how he scored in that!

TE999 said:

If we're gonna have Hot Rods, Dragsters, Funny's, Nitro's, Tuners, Drifters, et al then we'll need a speed shop/garage and more importantly a drive-in restaurant where the motorheads can hang out and occasionally have a scrap, but more often than not just get laid.

Chicks dig cars, man.

Click to expand...

I wouldn't expect the higher, hotter classes of dragsters at a weekend local drag race with hand-held radar speed guns.

Perhaps an annual visit by the NHRA for regional qualifiers or something, but on a normal weekend I wouldn't expect anything that wasn't essentially street legal.

I would suspect that Autozone, Checkers, or Pep Boys or similar general purpose auto parts store would fill the needs of most of the local hot-rodders; Perhaps a local mechanic has a sideline of performance and pimp parts -- perhaps even has his own chrome plating tanks for engine parts?

voluptuary_manque said:

Are there any of ol' Horny's descendants still living in town? I can imaging Horatio Horner VI showing up at the drive-in in a concourse condition 1938 Lincoln touring car . . .

If you think chicks dig hot rods, wait 'til you see how he scored in that!

Click to expand...

HH VI probably isn't still around, but both his '38 Lincoln and his '28 Duesenburg are still seen around town in the enthusiastic hands of his grandson HH VIII, AKA "Horny the Eighth." The Springs Lodge and Mineral Spa still brings in enough money to keep the car collection in running condition. HH VIII is a freshman this year at Futter U, but he's not particularly happy about it or comitted to higher education -- can you say party animal?

Weird Harold said:

Sadly, yes. Unfortunately they don't wait for the weekends and they don't go to a dragstrip.

As for Horner Springs, the local law cracks down hard on street racers -- a guaranteed week in jail waiting for a trial -- but donates an officer or two's time and a pair of speed guns on weekends at the airfield.

Click to expand...

Nice touch, that.

voluptuary_manque said:

Are there any of ol' Horny's descendants still living in town? I can imaging Horatio Horner VI showing up at the drive-in in a concourse condition 1938 Lincoln touring car . . .

If you think chicks dig hot rods, wait 'til you see how he scored in that!

Click to expand...

Wow, now 'Grease Lightning' is stuck in my head.
Thanks a lot, you car talkin' maniacs. lol.

Weird Harold said:

I wouldn't expect the higher, hotter classes of dragsters at a weekend local drag race with hand-held radar speed guns.

Perhaps an annual visit by the NHRA for regional qualifiers or something, but on a normal weekend I wouldn't expect anything that wasn't essentially street legal.

I would suspect that Autozone, Checkers, or Pep Boys or similar general purpose auto parts store would fill the needs of most of the local hot-rodders; Perhaps a local mechanic has a sideline of performance and pimp parts -- perhaps even has his own chrome plating tanks for engine parts?

Click to expand...

Agreed, although NHRA might schedule a drag meet sometime, but mostly it'd be the street legal 'rods and tuners on weekends. Cheater slicks and nitro tanks could be allowed on the 'rods. Rice burners and crotch rockets would have their own runs as well.

Pep Boys, et al would be okay for factory parts, but we need a garage for a motorhead hangout. Smitty, the owner, would be an old school grease monkey working on flatheads and stovebolts with younger dudes working the dyno's and such for modern mills.

I see the drive in as an 'American Graffiti'-'Hollywood Knights' sort of place with neon signage, in-line skating car hops, greasy and tasty food, shakes and malts, a diner-like interior in 50's decor' and most importantly the drama and sexual interaction amongst the patrons and the drive-in workers.

Handley_Page said:

Nice touch, that.

Click to expand...

That two officers and pair of speed guns is drawn from history -- The Oregon State Patrol used to do that in a half dozen places around the State in the 60's.

I never saw it, but supposedly there was an "unmarked" police car cruising the streets of Eugene Oregon in the '60, despite a law on the books against using unmarked police cars. It was as flashy a street rod as you could find and it got around the unmarked car ban by having government licence plates and a clear labeling on the quarterpanels in flaming script that this was "Da Fuzz"

TE99 said:

I see the drive in as an 'American Graffiti'-'Hollywood Knights' sort of place with neon signage, in-line skating car hops, greasy and tasty food, shakes and malts, a diner-like interior in 50's decor' and most importantly the drama and sexual interaction amongst the patrons and the drive-in workers.

Click to expand...

The Sonic Drive-in chain is bringing back carhops on rollerskates all over the West. The eat-in seating could use some enhancement but otherwise it won't require a throwback, nostalgia themed drive-in for a motorheads' hangout.

Perhaps the college has a chapter of the Society for Creative Nostalgia that is making poodle skirts and angora sweaters popular again all over town?

What about a central character(s) and plot?
Also the town could have its own private chat room wherein the locals could shop around for a sex partner as close to their taste as possible before meeting face to face. Just something to chew on.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Give me a chance to catch up, please!

A from the good little witch.

TE999 said:

If we're gonna have Hot Rods, Dragsters, Funny's, Nitro's, Tuners, Drifters, et al then we'll need a speed shop/garage and more importantly a drive-in restaurant where the motorheads can hang out and occasionally have a scrap, but more often than not just get laid.

Chicks dig cars, man.

Click to expand...

As I see it, there's a Cafe (diner/bar/ whatever-you-call-it) at the mile post position just outside town (outside town limits). This might be regarded as THE meeting place for speed freaks, given a 2 mile stretch of dead-straight road alongside.


Come to think of it, it's not far from what some might regard as the brothel, near the real hotel (do not confuse the two).

glynndah said:

Give me a chance to catch up, please!

A from the good little witch.

Click to expand...

Don't do too much at once.
We will let you eat and have a bathroom break, once every 6 hours.

And the mailman cums twice a day.

While you folks work on the locals, I'm working a "new comer" angle. Of necessity I'm putting in generic terms or titles for the Diner and a Bar down by the river.

Only 1200 words so far but Horny Spring is too fluid to capture yet.
Postmaster is Lynda Lustloss, can you spell Dyke?

Lester Murphy, is the postman, just arrived in town after retiring from the Army, hooks up with the PO thru his Veterans points. He like Horny Springs, no one has shot at him since he got there and he finds this a great improvement over his last position.

Unfortunately his "ole Buddy" shows up and gets him involved with a investigation about a Internet Nut that keeps raving about Ann Rand! He's making someone in Washington nervous and Morgan Gilhoulie Bernstein shows up. Sgt Major Bernstein (Ret) has been pulled from his retirement to work the case with Lester, whom he calls Jagermister, or master hunter.

Lester calls MGB Headhunter and so he was in the teams, until the bureaucrats promoted him to his level of incompetence and then retired him.

I'm still working on the Chicago Cop angle. I figure he got burned out in Chi town and the FOP chapter go him transferred to Horny Springs.

The burning question is, Can three damaged men find love and understanding in Horner Springs?
You bet your ass they can. LOL

Everything is coming together beautifully. Damned if it isn't a lot like Boseman, MT. The only thing that's missing so far is a Perkins. A diner for the gearheads is great but for student's 'dining out', working class families on a budget and a place where the faculty can gather for imaginative American cooking, you just can't beat Perkins. Unfortunately, we don't have any this far south 'cause it would compete with Marie Callendar's, the other half of the company.

JackLuis said:

And the mailman cums twice a day.

While you folks work on the locals, I'm working a "new comer" angle. Of necessity I'm putting in generic terms or titles for the Diner and a Bar down by the river.

Only 1200 words so far but Horny Spring is too fluid to capture yet.
Postmaster is Lynda Lustloss, can you spell Dyke?

Lester Murphy, is the postman, just arrived in town after retiring from the Army, hooks up with the PO thru his Veterans points. He like Horny Springs, no one has shot at him since he got there and he finds this a great improvement over his last position.

Unfortunately his "ole Buddy" shows up and gets him involved with a investigation about a Internet Nut that keeps raving about Ann Rand! He's making someone in Washington nervous and Morgan Gilhoulie Bernstein shows up. Sgt Major Bernstein (Ret) has been pulled from his retirement to work the case with Lester, whom he calls Jagermister, or master hunter.

Lester calls MGB Headhunter and so he was in the teams, until the bureaucrats promoted him to his level of incompetence and then retired him.

I'm still working on the Chicago Cop angle. I figure he got burned out in Chi town and the FOP chapter go him transferred to Horny Springs.

The burning question is, Can three damaged men find love and understanding in Horner Springs?
You bet your ass they can. LOL

Click to expand...

Aha! A thread of crime noir amidst the salacious goings on. I like it!

I'm a bit late to the party (this is what I get for never checking private messages . . . .), but I am so on board for this.

I'm thinking perhaps I should start up a dance studio in Horny Town . . . . Nothing sexier than tango lessons, am I right?

DorlaMoorehouse said:

I'm a bit late to the party (this is what I get for never checking private messages . . . .), but I am so on board for this.

I'm thinking perhaps I should start up a dance studio in Horny Town . . . . Nothing sexier than tango lessons, am I right?

Click to expand...

Whoo Hoo!!! Psyched!!!! Welcome aboard Dorla! As soon as Glynndah (Don't rush it sweet witch!) has our map we are off and running!

Again it is fantastic to have you dancing into the action! - Lit

voluptuary_manque said:

Everything is coming together beautifully. Damned if it isn't a lot like Boseman, MT. The only thing that's missing so far is a Perkins. A diner for the gearheads is great but for student's 'dining out', working class families on a budget and a place where the faculty can gather for imaginative American cooking, you just can't beat Perkins. Unfortunately, we don't have any this far south 'cause it would compete with Marie Callendar's, the other half of the company.

Click to expand...

Perhaps we're where the two halves overlap with a Marie Perkins restaurant.

Hmmm . . . That would put us in Idaho, Utah or Colorado. Close enough.

voluptuary_manque said:

Hmmm . . . That would put us in Idaho, Utah or Colorado. Close enough.

Click to expand...

Base elevation? If it gets too high Lester's going to have to deliver the mail in a snowplow!

Oh, now there's a lead in, snowed in at a remote ranch house with the Perkins women! For three days the storm blew and so did Loretta Perkins!

Oh litfan10, I put in an Irish pub, see below.

“Not that I know of, we just need to find him. who he is and just how crazy he is” Headhunter laughed, “Hell they ain’t paying me enough to shoot anybody. My per diem is barely covering the motel,” he took a drink and sat down. “How the pussy supply in this berg?”
That was how they ended up in Pats, an Irish pub down by the river that served Harp from the tap and Guinness in a bottle.
-
He laughed, “Well, it’s good for a hundred a day plus per diem, Democrat’s money spends as well as Republican money.”
Morgan had finished his first mug, sat his glass on the back of the bar and turned to watch the young red headed couple, who could have been, and in fact were, brother and sister. She had an Irish drum and he a mandolin/ guitar. She started to beat the drum softly with a stick held between her thumb and forefinger, the heel of her hand added a different tone as her rhythm developed and became more complex, the guitar joined in and they played a reel of music that was almost Appalachian Blue Grass and yet more elemental.
The small crowd was clapping and laughing as she lead him, then he led her in different ways, “Through the Fields of Kerry.” Lester was surprised at the authenticity of the music, he had spent several months in Northern Ireland.
-
I figure the red heads are Irish exchange students who make some money working the pub and guiding trout fishermen to finance their studies, anyone want to expand on their story?

JackLuis said:

Base elevation? If it gets too high Lester's going to have to deliver the mail in a snowplow!

Click to expand...

Most of the intermountain west is high desert or mountains. The line VM drew for the overlap of Marie Calenders and Perkins is above 3,000 MSL and has cities at the 4,000-5,000 elvation lines. Horner Springs is probably further south than VM's theoretical overlap line and is high enough that there is snow cover for 3.5 to four months, but seldom as much as two feet on the ground at any one time or two or three inches in any one snowfall. Higher up the valley, it is possible to get more, and more frequent, snow and the residents may have to eat each other -- before bundiling up to put the chains on the car and go into town for groceries.

Average snow levels probably average around 4,000 MSL being lower further north and higher further south, but prevailing winds and the rain-shadow of various mountians and mountain ranges means the winter climate can be as mild or severe as desired without pinning down a spcific latitude. Modern snow removal equipment means nobody should be snowed in more than two or three days -- if that -- especially since relatively inexpensive SUV mounted snow blowers mean even remote private roads can be clear almost as soon as the snow quits falling.

I would suggest that being snowbound by two or three day blizzards and periodic power outages are common enough in winter that 90% of the residents are prepared with generators and/or wood stoves with plenty of food and water reserves. IOW, being snowed in is mostly fun, not dangerous.

Weird Harold said:

Most of the intermountain west is high desert or mountains. - IOW, being snowed in is mostly fun, not dangerous.

Click to expand...

Or I'll just write about the Spring and Summer. When a young mans fancy can get him in enough trouble.

JackLuis said:

Or I'll just write about the Spring and Summer. When a young mans fancy can get him in enough trouble.

Click to expand...

I'm sure that Lester can find a dog team and sled to take him on his route. Either that or borrow a snowmobile.

G'mornin', Horny towners.

Just wanted to keep the spirit alive, and bump the thread.

Litfan, did you message Manu about the submission part?
(Or was that figured out and I missed it.. lol.)

EmeraldKitten said:

G'mornin', Horny towners.

Just wanted to keep the spirit alive, and bump the thread.

Litfan, did you message Manu about the submission part?
(Or was that figured out and I missed it.. lol.)

Click to expand...

Oops!! I thought I posted this.

Laurel got back to me and is enjoying what we are doing!

They are working on a way to have multiple writers share credit for stories. Whoo Hoo! But it is very much a work in progress so it will be a while before it is ready.

In the meantime let's submit under our own names - crediting the gang as a whole in an opening Author note and making sure we are consistent with titles so the stories can easily be identified - "Horner Springs:specific title." For example, my first entry which I hope to finish this weekend is "Horner Springs:Why Lin Fu Hates Spiders."
The note I will use is the same I put in post #130 - "This story is set in Horner Springs, a town created and populated by a joint effort of numerous Literotica writers."
The title format, opening note, map, definitive character/location descriptions and directory of stories (as well as anything else anyone thinks we need) I will put in a new Official thread once I have them - turning this thread into the conversation and planning thread.

Again this whole thing is cooler and more fun than I ever imagined!! Whoo hoo!