Where's InternationalFunBoy?

Cat Malojan · Jul 25, 2018

Where the fuck is that prime joint of beef?

If you read this, take me to a cold climate and violate me roughly in a snowdrift.

I'll bring cheese and whiskey. :heart:

thør · Jul 25, 2018

Cat Malojan said:
Where the fuck is that prime joint of beef?

If you read this, take me to a cold climate and violate me roughly in a snowdrift.

I'll bring cheese and whiskey.

Can't you rent a spot for a folding chair in a walk-in?

neci · Jul 26, 2018

i know someone with a cabin in the woods you could commandeer.

Aphro · Jul 26, 2018

Like the rest of the mostly normal type people, he's probably scared off by the rabid, Trumptastic crazies around here.

thør · Jul 26, 2018

Definitely not "scared" off.

Cat Malojan · Jul 26, 2018

Definitely not.

He could take 'em down with his rapier wit. Or a large hammer.

JohnnySavage · Jul 26, 2018

He's flossin' in Austin.

trysail · Jul 26, 2018

Cat Malojan said:
Where the fuck is that prime joint of beef?

If you read this, take me to a cold climate and violate me roughly in a snowdrift.

I'll bring cheese and whiskey.

Jeebus. That's a helluva an invitation.

How are you going to sweeten the offer ?

Got any alternates in mind if IFB ain't available ?

thør · Jul 26, 2018

JohnnySavage said:
He's flossin' in Austin.

Does this belong in the hairy muff thread?

Cat Malojan · Jul 26, 2018

trysail said:
Jeebus. That's a helluva an invitation.

How are you going to sweeten the offer ?

Got any alternates in mind if IFB ain't available ?

It's him or no one. No substitutes for that young fellah.

Cat Malojan · Jul 26, 2018

JohnnySavage said:
He's flossin' in Austin.

He can floss my nethers. :heart:

InternationalFunboy · Jul 28, 2018

No sooner than I'm back in Austin about to unpack my hat and whip, do I run headlong into another grand adventure. Were the mere suggestion not worth the effort twicefold, I might opt to relax by the pool and partake of some high-dollar day drinking and semi-pro muff diving. But it's not in the cards. I'm afraid hammering trumpers and burning trolls will have to wait as well, enticing as that may seem, I'm throwing the whip and pistol back in the satchel and making way for the Southern Morgana Peninsula. Legends tell of treasures there greater than the sum of all the wealth in the world. The thought of what I may find there has me pushing denim like a fucking bulldozer.

Queersetti · Jul 28, 2018

InternationalFunboy said:
No sooner than I'm back in Austin about to unpack my hat and whip, do I run headlong into another grand adventure. Were the mere suggestion not worth the effort twicefold, I might opt to relax by the pool and partake of some high-dollar day drinking and semi-pro muff diving. But it's not in the cards. I'm afraid hammering trumpers and burning trolls will have to wait as well, enticing as that may seem, I'm throwing the whip and pistol back in the satchel and making way for the Southern Morgana Peninsula. Legends tell of treasures there greater than the sum of all the wealth in the world. The thought of what I may find there has me pushing denim like a fucking bulldozer.

And we thought Sam Shepard was dead.

InternationalFunboy · Jul 28, 2018

Queersetti said:
And we thought Sam Shepard was dead.

I could only hope. Shepard went pro as a muff diver when I was still in short-pants.

With_David_Bowie · Jul 28, 2018

Funstud, you spoiled all the fun

InternationalFunboy · Jul 28, 2018

With_David_Bowie said:
Funstud, you spoiled all the fun

What?! no...what?! No I bring the fun, or sometimes I make it. But spoil it? I'm crestfallen at the thought.

Oh and...howdy stranger....

Queersetti · Jul 28, 2018

InternationalFunboy said:
I could only hope. Shepard went pro as a muff diver when I was still in short-pants.

Poontang rhymes with Jessica Lange.

Cat Malojan · Jul 28, 2018

InternationalFunboy said:
No sooner than I'm back in Austin about to unpack my hat and whip, do I run headlong into another grand adventure. Were the mere suggestion not worth the effort twicefold, I might opt to relax by the pool and partake of some high-dollar day drinking and semi-pro muff diving. But it's not in the cards. I'm afraid hammering trumpers and burning trolls will have to wait as well, enticing as that may seem, I'm throwing the whip and pistol back in the satchel and making way for the Southern Morgana Peninsula. Legends tell of treasures there greater than the sum of all the wealth in the world. The thought of what I may find there has me pushing denim like a fucking bulldozer.

Oh Mother Mary.

On hearing upon your imminent arrival I am busying myself here at 5 am. I have plucked the cats, deflead the bed and stripped a chicken. I am about to bathe and perfume my body and by god I might even condition my hair.

I shall open the door breathless in anticipation and delight at the thought of a good bulldozing. I think it's best that is dealt with straight away. Please don't be gentle, my freshly plucked chicken is stronger than it looks, imagine you are a seasoned blacksmith hammering a horseshoe into shape if you will, and we'll be onto a winner I'm sure.

Once you've ploughed my furrows a few times we'll drop the cats off at the vets, pack my vagina with frozen peas, and then I'll show you round the old peninsula. It'll be grand I tell ye.

With_David_Bowie · Jul 28, 2018

Cat Malojan said:
Oh Mother Mary.

On hearing upon your imminent arrival I am busying myself here at 5 am. I have plucked the cats, deflead the bed and stripped a chicken. I am about to bathe and perfume my body and by god I might even condition my hair.

I shall open the door breathless in anticipation and delight at the thought of a good bulldozing. I think it's best that is dealt with straight away. Please don't be gentle, my freshly plucked chicken is stronger than it looks, imagine you are a seasoned blacksmith hammering a horseshoe into shape if you will, and we'll be onto a winner I'm sure.

Once you've ploughed my furrows a few times we'll drop the cats off at the vets, pack my vagina with frozen peas, and then I'll show you round the old peninsula. It'll be grand I tell ye.

In english, she's too old to fuck you, but when you say yes, she'll be done.

Saint Peter · Jul 28, 2018

thør said:
Does this belong in the hairy muff thread?

!!!

Cat Malojan · Jul 28, 2018

With_David_Bowie said:
In english, she's too old to fuck you, but when you say yes, she'll be done.

Imbecile.

InternationalFunboy · Jul 28, 2018

Cat Malojan said:
Imbecile.

It's the crunched up face of jealousy, sweetling. We are all immortal here, pillars of a timeless world. Many, but not all, forever beautiful and eternally swathed in desirability.

Pardon me, I've bit of noob on my shoe...

Saint Peter · Jul 29, 2018

Just give the muff a trim.

Thanks.

Cat Malojan · Jul 29, 2018

Saint Peter said:
Just give the muff a trim.

Thanks.

You want me to trim his muff?

glynndah · Jul 31, 2018

Cat Malojan said:
Oh Mother Mary.

On hearing upon your imminent arrival I am busying myself here at 5 am. I have plucked the cats, deflead the bed and stripped a chicken. I am about to bathe and perfume my body and by god I might even condition my hair.

I shall open the door breathless in anticipation and delight at the thought of a good bulldozing. I think it's best that is dealt with straight away. Please don't be gentle, my freshly plucked chicken is stronger than it looks, imagine you are a seasoned blacksmith hammering a horseshoe into shape if you will, and we'll be onto a winner I'm sure.

Once you've ploughed my furrows a few times we'll drop the cats off at the vets, pack my vagina with frozen peas, and then I'll show you round the old peninsula. It'll be grand I tell ye.

I was a bit concerned about why the cats had to go to the vet after such events, but I think I've figured it out.

Where's InternationalFunBoy?

Loves Spam

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good little witch.

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