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pregnancy is a bitch!

rae121452

rae121452

Literotica Guru
Joined
Jul 18, 2017
Posts
6,727
i knew i'd have morning sickness but throwing up worms and salamanders is a BIT much. and miss matilda babydaddy is nowhere to be seen, she went off on a weekend "camping" trip with her young, muscular, studly white power group and still hasn't returned!

and then, i went to a pediatrician to be checked out this morning...the bitch wanted to give me chemotherapy! when i assured him it was a baby (or possibly the antichrist) that i was carrying, he threw me out and told me my new dr. should be the pope! no one gives a single mother any respect.

except for miss candi. she swears that if i carry it to term, she'll pretend she gave birth to it. she's already negotiating a reality tv series along the lines of that little trailer trash/white trash bitch a few years ago, only with satanic nazi overtones.

and miss candi is also giving me a virtual baby shower. none of you cunts have to come, she set up a paypal account so you can just give me money. (let me know how much you send, i need to keep track. i'm not saying miss candi is sketchy, even if she did just get out on parole but she's been spending an awful lot of time studying the mail order fashion catalogs.)
 
I can see by your ultrasound why the pediatrician might have been confused.

qb73ed31m5c21.jpg


ETA spitting image of your baby daddy. :rose:
 
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rae121452 said:
i knew i'd have morning sickness but throwing up worms and salamanders is a BIT much. and miss matilda babydaddy is nowhere to be seen, she went off on a weekend "camping" trip with her young, muscular, studly white power group and still hasn't returned!

and then, i went to a pediatrician to be checked out this morning...the bitch wanted to give me chemotherapy! when i assured him it was a baby (or possibly the antichrist) that i was carrying, he threw me out and told me my new dr. should be the pope! no one gives a single mother any respect.

except for miss candi. she swears that if i carry it to term, she'll pretend she gave birth to it. she's already negotiating a reality tv series along the lines of that little trailer trash/white trash bitch a few years ago, only with satanic nazi overtones.

and miss candi is also giving me a virtual baby shower. none of you cunts have to come, she set up a paypal account so you can just give me money. (let me know how much you send, i need to keep track. i'm not saying miss candi is sketchy, even if she did just get out on parole but she's been spending an awful lot of time studying the mail order fashion catalogs.)
Click to expand...

Oh my god I am really, really considering starting a paypal donation just to see what the hell happens.

Also, I am gonna say that this thing is growing... awfully fast for a human baby... Like this has moved at the rate of like... a month since yesterday.

And yes you, they do have to fucking cum! I just bought this ritual goat. I'm the one who has to take care of her until the bloodletting ceremony! We're doing a classic satanic nazi shower to honor the baby, and the last one I didn't get specific enough on the invites... when it says 'robes' it doesn't mean bathrobes and I can't believe I have to spell that out for you people.

Also, at the rate this thing is moving you're going to have to pick a name pretty soon. I need to know what to embroider on the swaddling blankets. You're gonna have to keep that thing swaddled.

Tight.
 
note to self: tell miss candi that we simply MUST find a baby doctor who can perform the faggot/satanic equivalent of a c-section. at the rate this thing is growing if i go all "natural childbirth" my coochie will be so stretched out that i'll be able to wear it as a stylish evening cape.
 
rae121452 said:
note to self: tell miss candi that we simply MUST find a baby doctor who can perform the faggot/satanic equivalent of a c-section. at the rate this thing is growing if i go all "natural childbirth" my coochie will be so stretched out that i'll be able to wear it as a stylish evening cape.
Click to expand...

I think it might go full xenomorph and just burrow it's way out.
 
eeeeek! xenomorph is exactly what i'm afraid of! just imagine some scaly little cocksucker shooting out of my coochie and running riot around the room. i've been smoking like a chimney and sucking down the g&t's all day hoping i'd spontaneously abort, instead the motherfucker is growing!
 
rae121452 said:
eeeeek! xenomorph is exactly what i'm afraid of! just imagine some scaly little cocksucker shooting out of my coochie and running riot around the room. i've been smoking like a chimney and sucking down the g&t's all day hoping i'd spontaneously abort, instead the motherfucker is growing!
Click to expand...

On the plus side your tits look amazing.
 
CandiCame said:
On the plus side your tits look amazing.
Click to expand...


excuse me? my tits have always been amazing!


and candi, darling, i think for "legal reasons" that when we do the reality show, you should appear under my name and i'll appear under yours. just to make everything go smoother, of course.
 
rae121452 said:
excuse me? my tits have always been amazing!


and candi, darling, i think for "legal reasons" that when we do the reality show, you should appear under my name and i'll appear under yours. just to make everything go smoother, of course.
Click to expand...

Neither of us is going to be able to stay sober long enough to keep up that ruse and you knew it before you suggested it.

You're getting those weird hormonal ideas that seem super good at the time but are just a precursor to mood swings.

Oh...

Oh shit. I shouldn't have said that. Now I'm gonna be the one to get hit when the mood swings and the rage comes.
 
CandiCame said:
Neither of us is going to be able to stay sober long enough to keep up that ruse and you knew it before you suggested it.

You're getting those weird hormonal ideas that seem super good at the time but are just a precursor to mood swings.

Oh...

Oh shit. I shouldn't have said that. Now I'm gonna be the one to get hit when the mood swings and the rage comes.
Click to expand...


you ALREADY were. i'm sure you'll agree after you think about it.
 
that tired cunt miss matilda babydaddy just dragged her flat ass home.

"Where have you been?" i sweetly inquire.

"camping with the boys." she replies.

"Why do you have those red marks all over the back of your shoulders that look like hickeys and bite marks?" i ask.

"those are mosquito bites." she says.

little does that bitch know that i searched through her authentic nazi junior storm trooper back pack before she left on this "camping" trip. all she had packed was slutty walmart lingerie and an industrial size bottle of "analeze". if her buns were spread any farther than they are tonight, they'd be on her hips. i hope her little mutant offspring bites her.
 
Choosing your little one's name can be a little overwhelming at the best of times but when your hormones are all over the map it can seem insurmountable. Luckily some fine people compiled a list of baby names specifically for the infant antichrist. Hope it helps!

Biblical Names for the Antichrist- Old Testament

1. Adversary; Psalms 74:8-10; Amos 3:11
2. Assyrian; Isaiah 10:5, 12
3. Belial; Nahum 1:15
4. Bloody and Deceitful Man; Psalms 5:6
5. Branch of the Terrible Ones; Isaiah 25:5; Isaiah 14:19
6. Crooked Serpent; Job 26:13; Isaiah 14:19
7. Cruel One; Jeremiah 30:14; 23
8. Enemy; Ps 55:3; Jeremiah 30:14; 23
9. Evil Man; Psalms 140:1
10. Idol Shepherd; Zechariah 11:16-17
11. Little Horn; Daniel 7:8-11, 21-26; 8:9-12, 23-25
12. Merchant, deceit, oppress; Hos 12:713.
13. Nail; Isaiah 22:25
14. Profane Wicked Prince of Israel; Ezekiel 21:25-27
15. Proud Man; Habakkuk 2:5
16. Rod of God’s Anger; Isaiah 10:5
17. Seed of the Serpent; Genesis 3:15
18. Son of the Morning; Isaiah 14:12
19. Spoiler, Destroyer; Isaiah 16:4-5
20. Vile Person; Daniel 11:21
21. Violent Man; Psalms 140:1, 10, 11
22. Wicked, Wicked One; Psalms 9:17; 10:2, 4;
23. Jeremiah 30:14, Isaiah 11:4; 23.

Nostradamus had a couple of cute ones:
1. An oldie but a goody, Hitler aka Adolf
2. Mabus

Good luck, little mama!
Personally I'm rather fond of Little Horn and Jeremiah. :)
 
RocketLauncher said:
Choosing your little one's name can be a little overwhelming at the best of times but when your hormones are all over the map it can seem insurmountable. Luckily some fine people compiled a list of baby names specifically for the infant antichrist. Hope it helps!

Biblical Names for the Antichrist- Old Testament

1. Adversary; Psalms 74:8-10; Amos 3:11
2. Assyrian; Isaiah 10:5, 12
3. Belial; Nahum 1:15
4. Bloody and Deceitful Man; Psalms 5:6
5. Branch of the Terrible Ones; Isaiah 25:5; Isaiah 14:19
6. Crooked Serpent; Job 26:13; Isaiah 14:19
7. Cruel One; Jeremiah 30:14; 23
8. Enemy; Ps 55:3; Jeremiah 30:14; 23
9. Evil Man; Psalms 140:1
10. Idol Shepherd; Zechariah 11:16-17
11. Little Horn; Daniel 7:8-11, 21-26; 8:9-12, 23-25
12. Merchant, deceit, oppress; Hos 12:713.
13. Nail; Isaiah 22:25
14. Profane Wicked Prince of Israel; Ezekiel 21:25-27
15. Proud Man; Habakkuk 2:5
16. Rod of God’s Anger; Isaiah 10:5
17. Seed of the Serpent; Genesis 3:15
18. Son of the Morning; Isaiah 14:12
19. Spoiler, Destroyer; Isaiah 16:4-5
20. Vile Person; Daniel 11:21
21. Violent Man; Psalms 140:1, 10, 11
22. Wicked, Wicked One; Psalms 9:17; 10:2, 4;
23. Jeremiah 30:14, Isaiah 11:4; 23.

Nostradamus had a couple of cute ones:
1. An oldie but a goody, Hitler aka Adolf
2. Mabus

Good luck, little mama!
Personally I'm rather fond of Little Horn and Jeremiah. :)
Click to expand...


babydaddy was insisting on "little adolf" for either a boy or a girl. then, when i refused he suggested "ilsa, shewolf of the ss" for a daughter. personally, i think we should go with something gender fluid. if the little bastard has babydaddy as its male role model, you know its going to want gender re-assignment surgery as soon as it can talk.
 
rae121452 said:
that tired cunt miss matilda babydaddy just dragged her flat ass home.

"Where have you been?" i sweetly inquire.

"camping with the boys." she replies.

"Why do you have those red marks all over the back of your shoulders that look like hickeys and bite marks?" i ask.

"those are mosquito bites." she says.

little does that bitch know that i searched through her authentic nazi junior storm trooper back pack before she left on this "camping" trip. all she had packed was slutty walmart lingerie and an industrial size bottle of "analeze". if her buns were spread any farther than they are tonight, they'd be on her hips. i hope her little mutant offspring bites her.
Click to expand...

We can go full COPS and confront him at work. I'll drag his ass over that counter, I don't give a fuck.
 
RocketLauncher said:
Choosing your little one's name can be a little overwhelming at the best of times but when your hormones are all over the map it can seem insurmountable. Luckily some fine people compiled a list of baby names specifically for the infant antichrist. Hope it helps!

Biblical Names for the Antichrist- Old Testament

1. Adversary; Psalms 74:8-10; Amos 3:11
2. Assyrian; Isaiah 10:5, 12
3. Belial; Nahum 1:15
4. Bloody and Deceitful Man; Psalms 5:6
5. Branch of the Terrible Ones; Isaiah 25:5; Isaiah 14:19
6. Crooked Serpent; Job 26:13; Isaiah 14:19
7. Cruel One; Jeremiah 30:14; 23
8. Enemy; Ps 55:3; Jeremiah 30:14; 23
9. Evil Man; Psalms 140:1
10. Idol Shepherd; Zechariah 11:16-17
11. Little Horn; Daniel 7:8-11, 21-26; 8:9-12, 23-25
12. Merchant, deceit, oppress; Hos 12:713.
13. Nail; Isaiah 22:25
14. Profane Wicked Prince of Israel; Ezekiel 21:25-27
15. Proud Man; Habakkuk 2:5
16. Rod of God’s Anger; Isaiah 10:5
17. Seed of the Serpent; Genesis 3:15
18. Son of the Morning; Isaiah 14:12
19. Spoiler, Destroyer; Isaiah 16:4-5
20. Vile Person; Daniel 11:21
21. Violent Man; Psalms 140:1, 10, 11
22. Wicked, Wicked One; Psalms 9:17; 10:2, 4;
23. Jeremiah 30:14, Isaiah 11:4; 23.

Nostradamus had a couple of cute ones:
1. An oldie but a goody, Hitler aka Adolf
2. Mabus

Good luck, little mama!
Personally I'm rather fond of Little Horn and Jeremiah. :)
Click to expand...


"Rod of God's anger" sounds kinky.
 
Oh! Mattzi's getting into the spirit of things!
Unfortunately, it seems Roland Emmerich taught him about fireworks. You know how Roland loves his massive explosions (and Mexican boys but that's a tale for another time...) You're suppose to fire them into the sky, not the ground, Matilda. Never was a bright boy, but his Aryan looks get him everywhere! At least he's pretty. 🤷
 
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