Moochie’s Meandering Missives (and a pic or two)

[scotluvsoral]

Dripping
Clean
Standing
Wet
Naked
Chilly
Fluid
Trickling
Still
Inspiring
Thoughtful

And
Alone...
But not lonely.

Lovely...and glad you are not lonely

 

[scotluvsoral]

I don’t much feel like doing anything today.
It’s what many people would consider “nice” outside,
But all I want to do is curl up in bed and not move
Because maybe then I could pretend I don’t exist
Which would be easier
Than going out and trying.

 

[scotluvsoral]

I put makeup on a couple days ago.
It felt like a big deal,
Because it was.
It was the first time in over a month
I spent a moment on my looks,
To swipe on eyeshadow and mascara.
What made it a big deal was
I wasn’t going out.
I was staying in.
I wanted to feel pretty or whatever
For me.
For myself.

That’s how I feel today,
Laying in bed
Doing nothing but letting my thoughts wonder
While watching mindless television shows.
I feel like this day was for me
For myself.
For my lazy mental health.

So I’m not going to judge myself anymore for it
I’m just going to keep laying here
And enjoy my feeling pretty or whatever.

Mental health days are definitely need sometimes! Wonderfully worded

 

[scotluvsoral]

Are you actually listening
When I tell you the secrets
That fill my dreams
And flow out of my heart
Into your ears?

Do you care
That my whole world
Seems to be crumbling
As the cage
Of my mind tries desperately
To hold together what it can?

Did you know
That this isn’t me
You see everytime
You look deep into my eyes,
But rather, the waif who has taken up residence
Inside an otherwise strong body
In order to hide herself from reality?

Would you follow
If I told you the truth
About everything
And what’s inside me
Itching at the walls to escape
The cage it was placed in
Years ago?

The thing is, Panda Express, I know the value of a hug.
I need one.
Rather desperately, actually.
And not a virtual one, but a real life one.
No offense to all of you who offer them,
They’re a nice gesture, but just don’t really cut it when my body aches to be held.
I need A hug from someone who really cares about me
And will take the time to see that I need to be embraced completely
And maybe cry
And feel safe there
To allow myself to weep into someone else’s arms
As they are wrapped around me
And I maybe don’t feel so alone
In this pit.

So although I know the value of a hug,
I hope what my fortune cookie is insinuating tonight
Is that I will receive the hug I yearn for
Some time this week...

I sure hope you get your needs met soon!

 

[Todger65]

The thing is, Panda Express, I know the value of a hug.
I need one.
Rather desperately, actually.
And not a virtual one, but a real life one.
No offense to all of you who offer them,
They’re a nice gesture, but just don’t really cut it when my body aches to be held.
I need A hug from someone who really cares about me
And will take the time to see that I need to be embraced completely
And maybe cry
And feel safe there
To allow myself to weep into someone else’s arms
As they are wrapped around me
And I maybe don’t feel so alone
In this pit.

So although I know the value of a hug,
I hope what my fortune cookie is insinuating tonight
Is that I will receive the hug I yearn for
Some time this week...

I know you will get that real hug later in the week and hopefully it will be more than one.

 

[Moochienanu]

I feel like...

I feel like a used plastic bag
Thrown out the window of a moving car
Once useful to hold shopping
But now rejected and floating on the breeze, not wanted by anyone.

I feel like the empty aluminum can
Once my contents made someone very happy
But now I am nothing but remnants
And a nickel worth of recycling.

I feel like a tired dish sponge
Always looking for more to soak up
But no longer being completely adequate
Knowing the day will come when the bin calls.

I feel like the butterfly in a net
Caught by a small child,
Beauty unbelievable in the naked eye and under a microscope,
Struggle futile as the end draws nearer with capture.

I feel like a bubble popping
The termination of my life imminent,
Yet I can still be a happiness
To the bather through my existence and end.

 

[Moochienanu]

Pop.

 

[RustyIron]

I feel like a used plastic bag
Thrown out the window of a moving car
Once useful to hold shopping
But now rejected and floating on the breeze, not wanted by anyone.

I feel like the empty aluminum can
Once my contents made someone very happy
But now I am nothing but remnants
And a nickel worth of recycling.

I feel like a tired dish sponge
Always looking for more to soak up
But no longer being completely adequate
Knowing the day will come when the bin calls.

I feel like the butterfly in a net
Caught by a small child,
Beauty unbelievable in the naked eye and under a microscope,
Struggle futile as the end draws nearer with capture.

I feel like a bubble popping
The termination of my life imminent,
Yet I can still be a happiness
To the bather through my existence and end.

Sometimes I feel sad, when I read how you seem to be feeling.
But I also like reading your posts. Is that weird.

 

[Joxlrg]

Pop

Moochie
I gotta tell you that tune got me up and going this morning before the end of my first cup of coffee!!
Thank You

 

[xythunder]

I feel like a used plastic bag
Thrown out the window of a moving car
Once useful to hold shopping
But now rejected and floating on the breeze, not wanted by anyone.

I feel like the empty aluminum can
Once my contents made someone very happy
But now I am nothing but remnants
And a nickel worth of recycling.

I feel like a tired dish sponge
Always looking for more to soak up
But no longer being completely adequate
Knowing the day will come when the bin calls.

I feel like the butterfly in a net
Caught by a small child,
Beauty unbelievable in the naked eye and under a microscope,
Struggle futile as the end draws nearer with capture.

I feel like a bubble popping
The termination of my life imminent,
Yet I can still be a happiness
To the bather through my existence and end.

What does one say - Beautiful indeed. And, I imagine, so much more than used or tired.

Hope you have a good day.

 

[Todger65]

I feel like a used plastic bag
Thrown out the window of a moving car
Once useful to hold shopping
But now rejected and floating on the breeze, not wanted by anyone.

I feel like the empty aluminum can
Once my contents made someone very happy
But now I am nothing but remnants
And a nickel worth of recycling.

I feel like a tired dish sponge
Always looking for more to soak up
But no longer being completely adequate
Knowing the day will come when the bin calls.

I feel like the butterfly in a net
Caught by a small child,
Beauty unbelievable in the naked eye and under a microscope,
Struggle futile as the end draws nearer with capture.

I feel like a bubble popping
The termination of my life imminent,
Yet I can still be a happiness
To the bather through my existence and end.

http://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=2067395&stc=1&d=1554146718

I’ve nothing to say at this moment, but accept these from me

 

[scotluvsoral]

I feel like a used plastic bag
Thrown out the window of a moving car
Once useful to hold shopping
But now rejected and floating on the breeze, not wanted by anyone.

I feel like the empty aluminum can
Once my contents made someone very happy
But now I am nothing but remnants
And a nickel worth of recycling.

I feel like a tired dish sponge
Always looking for more to soak up
But no longer being completely adequate
Knowing the day will come when the bin calls.

I feel like the butterfly in a net
Caught by a small child,
Beauty unbelievable in the naked eye and under a microscope,
Struggle futile as the end draws nearer with capture.

I feel like a bubble popping
The termination of my life imminent,
Yet I can still be a happiness
To the bather through my existence and end.

Very moving, but dark! Wish it wasn't so dark for you sweet lady!

 

[Moochienanu]

Sometimes I feel sad, when I read how you seem to be feeling.
But I also like reading your posts. Is that weird.

Is it weird that so many people slow down to see a car accident on the side of the road?

I read this as I am an anomaly, and a tad addictive... which I’m taking as a win.

 

[Moochienanu]

Finding me

I’ve come to a place where there are many paths.
It has taken me a long time at this fork to make a decision,
And although this route is one that looks simple to traverse,
It is actually full of more pitfalls than it seems,
And I always reserve the right to turn about and hike back to the beginning to start over again.

I enjoy my time here sharing quips,
And yet I am also somehow feeling burdened.
I appreciate and delight in reading every comment,
Every compliment,
Every thought,
Every anecdote,
But the obligation to return,
The need to say something back,
Has started to feel like anxiety.
The fact that I haven’t said much in reply for days now is stacking up like my hyperbole does sometimes... and it’s bothersome.
So, as I have said, I have picked a path for now.

I reiterate the “I am here for me” today.
I will continue to post and be present when I have time.
I am not going to allow the perceived stress of replying to everyone who comments here interfere with my mental space any more.
If you say something I want to reply to, I will.
If you start an intriguing conversation or I do, I hope you’re up for some good discussion.

With that, I’ll leave you with my ruminating question of the day:
How am I supposed to be me for a bit
If I am still finding myself?

 

[Todger65]

I’ve come to a place where there are many paths.
It has taken me a long time at this fork to make a decision,
And although this route is one that looks simple to traverse,
It is actually full of more pitfalls than it seems,
And I always reserve the right to turn about and hike back to the beginning to start over again.

I enjoy my time here sharing quips,
And yet I am also somehow feeling burdened.
I appreciate and delight in reading every comment,
Every compliment,
Every thought,
Every anecdote,
But the obligation to return,
The need to say something back,
Has started to feel like anxiety.
The fact that I haven’t said much in reply for days now is stacking up like my hyperbole does sometimes... and it’s bothersome.
So, as I have said, I have picked a path for now.

I reiterate the “I am here for me” today.
I will continue to post and be present when I have time.
I am not going to allow the perceived stress of replying to everyone who comments here interfere with my mental space any more.
If you say something I want to reply to, I will.
If you start an intriguing conversation or I do, I hope you’re up for some good discussion.

With that, I’ll leave you with my ruminating question of the day:
How am I supposed to be me for a bit
If I am still finding myself?

http://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=2067453&stc=1&d=1554231592

I’ve wondered how long it would be for something like this to happen, you can’t go on burning yourself out like you have been. Your health, mental as well as physical can only take so much before it starts to close in on you and shut down. It is time to slow down.

As long as you stick to your chosen route, your load will lighten allowing you to rise slowly from your hole, and keep a presence here as well bringing back some enjoyment from your posts and chosen responses.

 

[Blueeyesrenee]

With that, I’ll leave you with my ruminating question of the day:
How am I supposed to be me for a bit
If I am still finding myself?

I hope your journey helps you find you!
We all need to find ourselves.

 

[HonorableRogue]

I’ve come to a place where there are many paths.
It has taken me a long time at this fork to make a decision,
And although this route is one that looks simple to traverse,
It is actually full of more pitfalls than it seems,
And I always reserve the right to turn about and hike back to the beginning to start over again.

I enjoy my time here sharing quips,
And yet I am also somehow feeling burdened.
I appreciate and delight in reading every comment,
Every compliment,
Every thought,
Every anecdote,
But the obligation to return,
The need to say something back,
Has started to feel like anxiety.
The fact that I haven’t said much in reply for days now is stacking up like my hyperbole does sometimes... and it’s bothersome.
So, as I have said, I have picked a path for now.

I reiterate the “I am here for me” today.
I will continue to post and be present when I have time.
I am not going to allow the perceived stress of replying to everyone who comments here interfere with my mental space any more.
If you say something I want to reply to, I will.
If you start an intriguing conversation or I do, I hope you’re up for some good discussion.

With that, I’ll leave you with my ruminating question of the day:
How am I supposed to be me for a bit
If I am still finding myself?

When a hobby becomes work it's time to find a new hobby for a little while and maybe permanently. You're a tub. Something's help fill you up and others drain you. Equilibrium is the goal. Overfilled is just as bad as underfilled. Sadly, only plugging the drain is truly within your control. You can hope the knob turns and more is poured into you but you can't guarantee it.

If plugging the drain means unplugging from Lit I thank you for your words and pictures and wish you well Moochie. Each of us is just a vessel reflecting pretty lights from a surface that eventually drains away. Ebb and flow. Only change is constant. Only entropy is unchanging.

And that all relates to your quandry...

You will never know yourself fully and accurately. You change every moment of your life. Hopefully you know your core. The foundation of beliefs, convictions, hopes, memories and personal rules that form your nucleus. The rest is just your electron cloud. In school we were taught they all fall into easily defined orbits that we can see and track but the reality is it's all an ever-shifting, fuzzy, mercurial collection.

The only moment you know yourself completely is the moment you consciously chose to stop growing. The instant you convince yourself you know what's best for everything and everyone and start on the path to being a cranky, old person or hyper controlling person that no one wants to be around. Please don't go there. You're far too young with far too much left to live and do to become a cranky or controlling woman.

Sorry for running on more than usual (and far less light-hearted than usual). The last thing I'll say is I'm sorry I contributed to the burden on your shoulders that is weighing you down. Lit is our playground and not our sweatshop.

Cheers

 

[Billsexpot]

We never truly find ourselves. If life is lived in pursuit of that perverbial “self,” you’ll look back and realize you were there all along.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

"With that, I’ll leave you with my ruminating question of the day:
How am I supposed to be me for a bit
If I am still finding myself?"

I don't know if we ever truly find ourselves. This is because, ideally, we are constantly experiencing, learning, and evolving. I think the best approach is to be honest and just be who you are right now. To acknowledge that, while we should have values and beliefs that center us, many other aspects of who we are and what we want out of life will change with experience and circumstance. Some of which are more under our control, while others are completely random.

As for the other thoughts presented, this is your thread, your space to express and share what you wish. Post as often or as little as you like. Respond when something inspires thought. You are under no obligations. You set the expectations and can change them as needed. Anyone who has a problem with that is welcome to leave and find something more to their liking elsewhere in Lit land.

 

[Dribble]

With that, I’ll leave you with my ruminating question of the day:
How am I supposed to be me for a bit
If I am still finding myself?

As you peel another layer off an onion...is it still an onion?

 

[Billsexpot]

As you peel another layer off an onion...is it still an onion?

No, it shallot be an onion any longer. All the onion stuff leeks out.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

No, it shallot be an onion any longer. All the onion stuff leeks out.

I should probably be concerned about how delighted this made me.

 

[412len]

I know not what I am but wonder often at what I've become.

 

[Joxlrg]

That Onion post made me chuckle so hard I cried!!

 

[AlliaPotestas]

I’ve come to a place where there are many paths.
It has taken me a long time at this fork to make a decision,
And although this route is one that looks simple to traverse,
It is actually full of more pitfalls than it seems,
And I always reserve the right to turn about and hike back to the beginning to start over again.

I enjoy my time here sharing quips,
And yet I am also somehow feeling burdened.
I appreciate and delight in reading every comment,
Every compliment,
Every thought,
Every anecdote,
But the obligation to return,
The need to say something back,
Has started to feel like anxiety.
The fact that I haven’t said much in reply for days now is stacking up like my hyperbole does sometimes... and it’s bothersome.
So, as I have said, I have picked a path for now.

I reiterate the “I am here for me” today.
I will continue to post and be present when I have time.
I am not going to allow the perceived stress of replying to everyone who comments here interfere with my mental space any more.
If you say something I want to reply to, I will.
If you start an intriguing conversation or I do, I hope you’re up for some good discussion.

With that, I’ll leave you with my ruminating question of the day:
How am I supposed to be me for a bit
If I am still finding myself?

You don’t owe anyone anything - if you craft a lengthy, thought out reply to everyone that wanted to interact with you this would become a full time job. I too, took time to acknowledge it was important my thread satisfied whatever brought me here first and foremost. I no longer feel bad that most folks get relatively short replies, they can sod off if they don’t like it - I have been a people pleaser for too long, I suspect you have too,