I said.... (Dialogue Tags)

[Kantarii]

Having undertaken a complex and intricate dialogue driven storyline "A Slut's Triangle", I've fallen in love with dialogue tags other than just: I say, she replies, I ask, she answers; etc.

So, to breakup the bullshit on the board, what is your favorite dialogue tags to use? Or do you steer clear of using dialogue tags in your stories altogether?

Time to go Foghorn Leghorn in this place," Boy, I say, Boy ..... What, I say, What in the Hell? Pay attention, boy( hahaha)Kant

 

[CoffeeWithMonkeys]

Watching this because I usually have a lot of dialog and I do get tired of say, reply, ask, answer......

 

[GoldenCojones]

I use them sparsely. Usually only when it would be difficult for the reader to know who was speaking. Even then I often combine the dialog with a short description of the person doing something.

"Aw, Fuck!" Becky brushed the hair from her eyes as sweat dripped from her chin.

I don't know if readers like it better, hate it, or just in general wish I would quit writing, but that's how I do it. Mostly.

 

[jomar]

...said...

If it's good enough for the greats and the pros...

Though whispered, muttered, shouted, rasped (this is a porn site) and others sparsely sprinkled in are fine.

I'll go a few lines without tags then throw one in to keep the reader on point.

Checked a story of mine. I used 'loud whispered' and 'laughed with glee' as tags.

Also, she said and laughed.

 

[Kantarii]

I use them sparsely. Usually only when it would be difficult for the reader to know who was speaking. Even then I often combine the dialog with a short description of the person doing something.



I don't know if readers like it better, hate it, or just in general wish I would quit writing, but that's how I do it. Mostly.

I fucking love dialogue tags. Most people say use them sparingly, but I went hog fucking wild in "A Slut's Triangle." Below is an excerpt from one of the chapters.

"Awe, c'mon, Ashleigh. Surely, you know what will bring you the happiness you desire." Kimberly pries, unhooking her bra; dropping it to the floor beside the bed.

 

[Hypoxia]

"Whatever," s/he gasped / huffed / sang / hrumphed / grunted / croaked / giggled / cursed / cackled / demanded / accused / asked.

 

[Weird Harold]

Having undertaken a complex and intricate dialogue driven storyline "A Slut's Triangle", I've fallen in love with dialogue tags other than just: I say, she replies, I ask, she answers; etc.

So, to breakup the bullshit on the board, what is your favorite dialogue tags to use? Or do you steer clear of using dialogue tags in your stories altogether?

Time to go Foghorn Leghorn in this place," Boy, I say, Boy ..... What, I say, What in the Hell? Pay attention, boy( hahaha)Kant

It depends on the story and the specifics of the conversation. I have written an experimental piece that is 100% dialogue and has zero Dialogue Tags. I've also gotten dinged by a very knowledgeable editor for "insulting my readers' intelligence" with too many dialogue tags.

Every story and every bit of dialogue is unique and that includes the quantity and type of dialogue tags. I do tend to avoid explicit dialogue tags and identify speakers via other speakers' dialogue.

 

[OliviaM]

I understand most editors (that I've heard of) frown on it but I'm personally all in favor of more colorful ways to describe dialogue. I do try to limit my own use of them, though, and tend to only use 'said' and its alternatives when I absolutely have to.

 

[Kantarii]

I understand most editors (that I've heard of) frown on it but I'm personally all in favor of more colorful ways to describe dialogue. I do try to limit my own use of them, though, and tend to only use 'said' and its alternatives when I absolutely have to.

I feel exactly like you do. I only use say, reply, ask, answer (the basics) when I want the dialogue to be neutral. How would you know one or the other people talking is actually lying to the other? Or trying to be sarcastic? Sure there is context and the mood for the scene, but dialogue tags just polish and enhance the dialogue in a way (the basics)can't.

There are dialogue tags I steer clear from like: roared, barked, chirped, sang, growled and other animalistic sounds. I'm dying to use quipped in a dialogue tag

 

[OliviaM]

There are dialogue tags I steer clear from like: roared, barked, chirped, sang, growled and other animalistic sounds. I'm dying to used quipped in a dialogue tag

They'd work well for humor!

She cuddled the bedraggled kitten to her breast and sang, "Look what I found outside!"

"Yeah, sure. Let's take in another one. I don't have quite enough cat pee smell on my clothes," he quipped.

 

[Kantarii]

They'd work well for humor!

She cuddled the bedraggled kitten to her breast and sang, "Look what I found outside!"

"Yeah, sure. Let's take in another one. I don't have quite enough cat pee smell on my clothes," he quipped.

Hahaha... My perverted mind was thinking along the lines," are you going to just sit there in that chair all night playing with that pussy, or are you going to feed it?" He quipped, forcing his hands into his pockets, indirectly teasing her with a subtle hint he was horny.Kant

Oh I'm so going to use this line in one of my stories now

 

[wildchild24143]

Having undertaken a complex and intricate dialogue driven storyline "A Slut's Triangle", I've fallen in love with dialogue tags other than just: I say, she replies, I ask, she answers; etc.

So, to breakup the bullshit on the board, what is your favorite dialogue tags to use? Or do you steer clear of using dialogue tags in your stories altogether?

Time to go Foghorn Leghorn in this place," Boy, I say, Boy ..... What, I say, What in the Hell? Pay attention, boy( hahaha)Kant

I love foghorn leghorn...

 

[LadyVer]

I love threads on dialogue tags. Seriously. It's a writing issue that sounds like an extremely easy thing to learn and do. It really isn't.

 

[SamScribble]

I've probably said this before, but .... Someone (Elmore Leonard, perhaps?) used to say that the only tags the author, the storyteller, can honestly use are 'he said/she said'. How he or she said it is up to the character. The dialogue should tell the reader how the character spoke; not the author. And 90 percent of the time that works for me.

 

[oggbashan]

I've probably said this before, but .... Someone (Elmore Leonard, perhaps?) used to say that the only tags the author, the storyteller, can honestly use are 'he said/she said'. How he or she said it is up to the character. The dialogue should tell the reader how the character spoke; not the author. And 90 percent of the time that works for me.

And for me. My thought on this are:

"He said; she said" tend to be skipped by the reader. They are there just to make it clear who is speaking. You can vary them as long as they stay bland:

"He replied; She asked; He interrupted."

Once you add modifiers to the dialogue tags:

"She blurted"; "He growled"; "She giggled" - then you break up the flow of the dialogue interaction and distract the reader.

But as with all writing - if it works, it's good.

 

[CyranoJ]

So, to breakup the bullshit on the board, what is your favorite dialogue tags to use? Or do you steer clear of using dialogue tags in your stories altogether?

I mostly try to keep it minimal and to use something neutral like "said" when it's necessary. The salutary feature of "said" is that it's like semantic wallpaper, the reader really doesn't notice it beyond its bare function in the sentence. On rare occasions when it's useful to flag up some particular exchange and catch the reader's eye I'll use something more specific... or sometimes, because words are fun and I like words, I'll find myself slipping into longer passages of people "replying" to this and "rejoining" to that and "retorting" to the other thing and then forgetting to edit it out.

 

[Kantarii]

And for me. My thought on this are:

"He said; she said" tend to be skipped by the reader. They are there just to make it clear who is speaking. You can vary them as long as they stay bland:

"He replied; She asked; He interrupted."

Once you add modifiers to the dialogue tags:

"She blurted"; "He growled"; "She giggled" - then you break up the flow of the dialogue interaction and distract the reader.

But as with all writing - if it works, it's good.

I understand what you are saying to a degree, but written works are in the same category as texting. The reader tends to interpret the words of the dialogue in a neutral, mono tone type presentation. Giving the reader an indicator that some parts of dialogue are whispered, shouted, is a lie( known to the reader, but not the other character) or is expressing an emotion in their words does help the reader to visualize the type of conversation going on in the dialogue.... I'm babbling with my inexperience as a writer, but I just find it hard to read something and actually believe the characters speaking in dialogue are talking in neutral, mono tone.

The animalistic, dialogue tags I mentioned above are a bit excessive.
I use confessed, admitted, lied, explained, mutter, utter, sigh, whisper, shouted, screamed, stutter, and a few other a good bit along with the basic: I said, replied, asked, answered.

 

[StrangeTamer]

So far I've tried to only use them when it's not obvious who is speaking or to help show emotion. It's funny you brought this subject up, when I had my rough draft half way done my wife read it and asked what's with all the said, she says, characters name says / said. She noticed all of them, so I rewrote it and got rid of most of them now I try to use them only when necessary.

 

[oggbashan]

I understand what you are saying to a degree, but written works are in the same category as texting. The reader tends to interpret the words of the dialogue in a neutral, mono tone type presentation. Giving the reader an indicator that some parts of dialogue are whispered, shouted, is a lie( known to the reader, but not the other character) or is expressing an emotion in their words does help the reader to visualize the type of conversation going on in the dialogue.... I'm babbling with my inexperience as a writer, but I just find it hard to read something and actually believe the characters speaking in dialogue are talking in neutral, mono tone.

The animalistic, dialogue tags I mentioned above are a bit excessive.
I use confessed, admitted, lied, explained, mutter, utter, sigh, whisper, shouted, screamed, stutter, and a few other a good bit along with the basic: I said, replied, asked, answered.

The content of the dialogue and the context should dispel the neutral, mono tone.

If it doesn't - it's probably not good dialogue for a story designed to be read on a screen.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I write a lot of dialog. Now that I have said that, I only use tags in order to keep everyone, me included, from getting confused as to who is talking.

Using tags, said, told, replied, admitted, my all time favorite is croaked. Although have seen rasped in somebodies list of tags I might put that into the rotation.

I figure if I, the writer, get confused as to who is talking on a read back, then a tag - John shouted - is in order.

 

[SecondCircle]

I can't find myself agreeing with the concept of using bland or simple tags like he said/she said. I draw this from reading, not from writing.

While it's true that when there's a he said/she said my eyes scan right over that, my own eyes do NOT skip over something like "whispered" or "growled" or "groaned". My eyes go quickly, aye, but I do not disregard these words. I am one that enjoys "seeing" the characters as they speak. It's true that the spoken dialogue can be written in a way that tells me how they are speaking. Off the top of my head, an exclamation point tells me they are yelling, so I don't need "he yelled". The tone and words themselves can tell me they are being flirty, or an asshole.

But if someone put a dialogue tag like "spat" or "snapped" or "shot", I don't data dump that or skip that. It becomes butter in the potato. Immediately when my eyes scan that, I can imagine very quickly (which is usually how quickly a retort like this comes) how the character said it, what they might have looked like saying it, their body language, etc.

I think variety is my preference when writing dialogue. A few times I'll use "said". Then use a descriptor like "hissed". I also like to break it up with action, as another poster mentioned. Such as:

"It's busted." Vicky tossed the cell phone aside. "I swear I'm never buying one of those phones again."

Occasionally if the conversation is clear as to who is speaking, I'll use only the spoken words in quotes and nothing else. To avoid what I call "wall of dialogue", I sometimes like to take a split second break from the dialogue and touch on what the PoV character is thinking/doing/etc. Maybe just a line or two.

 

[CyranoJ]

if someone put a dialogue tag like "spat" or "snapped" or "shot", I don't data dump that or skip that. It becomes butter in the potato.

For me this works if something really dramatic is happening to justify it. For most purposes if the dialogue is strong enough, I feel like I should be able to "see" the character without such aids. Whereas if it isn't strong enough, and if they're over-applied (particularly if the author is visibly trying to avoid just using "said") then such descriptors can become laboured and faintly ridiculous.

I also like to break it up with action, as another poster mentioned. Such as:

"It's busted." Vicky tossed the cell phone aside. "I swear I'm never buying one of those phones again."

This. Definitely my preference wherever possible.

 

[SecondCircle]

For me this works if something really dramatic is happening to justify it. For most purposes if the dialogue is strong enough, I feel like I should be able to "see" the character without such aids. Whereas if it isn't strong enough, and if they're over-applied (particularly if the author is visibly trying to avoid just using "said") then such descriptors can become laboured and faintly ridiculous.

I agree. But I think as with all things, moderation is the key. Too much of anything and I can see the man behind the curtains.

I don't like seeing tags like "responded" a lot (because it's just another way of the author saying "he said" without actually saying that). Then it's as you say. It stops being a story world and starts looking like an author behind the screen. The spell is broken, as it were.

 

[Carnevil9]

I like to use the "action" method myself. It not only avoids the dreaded "he said/she said" effect, but it also gives the reader something to visualize:

Greg pointed to his crotch. "You want a piece of this?"

Vicky licked her lips. "Any time, big boy!"

Greg's trousers dropped to the floor. "Come and get it, baby!"

Dropping to her knees, Vicky wrapped her soft hand around his cock. "Yummy!"

 

[OmnislashXX]

Oh yes, actually. I think dialogue is a very powerful tool if done correctly. In fact, the second chapter of my current work is entirely dialogue driven. The female protagonist conveys much of her moods through the tones in her voice, so it's very important to use dialogue.

Can I post a small snippet of it? Hmm. Let me know what you think, it is a rough draft:

“The school,” he mumbled.
Her eyes widened at his words. It was hard for him to think because she kept tugging the sides of her pleated skirt with her fingertips, causing the hemline to slowly rock across the front of her thighs. Not only that, but her arms kept nudging up against the outside perimeters of her round apples.
Pausing to moisten up his drying mouth, he swallowed before continuing.
“Shouldn't you be wearing gym shorts under your skirt? The school has to have some kind of regulations,” he solidly asked her.
Her eyes reflected the received question. She quit rocking her fingers about the skirt's hemline, which was good, because the continuing visual effect was beginning to make his stressed muscles feel bothersome.
“Oh. Yes, Mr B,” came her nodded response, a bit of guilt reflecting off her eyes,” We do have to wear those awful shorts.”
She paused, letting her words sink into his brain. She brought her arms up to her torso crossing her wrists just under her breasts to gently nudge at their undersides, bending her waist slightly a little towards him.
“Truthfully though,” her feathery tone grew a bit quieter.
He didn't realize it himself but her lowered tone had caused him to take a step closer, also slightly leaning his chest forward into the conversation.
“Those shorts are little too restricting. I prefer the feel of my cotton panties when practicing my cheers,” she explained.
Frank's blood pressure elevated to nigh near heart failure. Suggestive movies of panties clinging about her rear as her thighs worked under her skirt flitted on his brain.
“Sometimes Mr. B,” the feathers in her voice grew even fainter as she leaned in more.
Sometimes?
She clenched her tongue between her front teeth, her intense gaze locked straight onto his.
“I don't like to wear anything.”