As The Hospital Pervs

[BeachMomma]

I bet that was a blood bath-- how do they even see anything to fix it? I guess clamp and work? I have never seen it yet, and I always thought they die quick. It must have been an experience.

Did you have to get up and go to the H for call a lot in the OR?

I am thinking about one day working in the OR, when I get done with this ICU business. I don't think I would want to scrub in, but maybe as a circulator? Have you thought about RNFA? Do they even exist? I know there are programs...

I know anesthesia has got to be a nice job-- making people comfortable, taking away pain, but I just don't think I could handle the school, and it's kinda scary!

It was. We transfused him so much that we depleted the blood bank's supply. We had to have the police transport blood from 2 other nearby cities. He was already open when his aorta blew. The doc literally put his finger in the hole to plug it until we could get it clamped off. It was the scariest case I've ever scrubbed. It was even worse because it was the father of one of our CRNAs.

Scrubbing is the most fun you can have in an OR. Circulating is rather boring. There's no way I could stand circulating. Yeah, I've considered RNFA. That's my back up plan if I can't get into anesthesia school. As a CST, I first assisted a lot. I'm better at first assisting than working the mayo stand. I like being hands on.

Callback is unpredictable at best. Usually callback involves staying late more than being called back, but it depends on your hospital. If the hospital staffs a 2nd or 3rd shift, the callback *shouldn't* be as common. I only worked at hospitals that staffed for day shift, so yeah, I pulled a lot of overtime. When you're on weekend call, you know you'll spend it at the hospital - at least part of a day.

Oddly enough, I worked more callback in endo than I ever did in the OR. For a couple of years, I was the only tech at my hospital who knew how to scrub endo, so I was on call 24/7 for quite a few years. I can't count how many times a family function got interrupted because I had to go to the hospital. We finally started taking two vehicles when we went anywhere because we knew I'd get called in. When hubby had to take me to the hospital three times in a row - then come get me again, he decided fuck it. I could just drive my car so I could leave without him having to leave too. lol I wouldn't even cook a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner because I knew I'd be interrupted while I was trying to cook. Thank God those days are over!

As a general rule, anesthesia is boring. You *want* it to be boring. Most of the time, doing anesthesia is like flying a plane. Take off and landing is dangerous, but during the flight itself, you put it on automatic pilot. I can't count how many times I've seen anesthesia do crossword puzzles, read the paper, or draw pictures on the sheets during long cases. I wouldn't be one of those anesthetists; I'm a little too anal retentive for that.

One of the funniest things I've ever seen from anesthesia was in endoscopy. We were doing a colonoscopy with MAC anesthesia and talking and joking around. The patient bradied down in the 40s, and the anesthetist hit the floor running. He had atropine drawn up and administered in less time than it took me to type this paragraph. We'd never seen him move that fast before.

I'd certainly never do that. Nobody in your profession needs that added stress.

I had a girlfriend who thought it was funny to say my radio call-sign when I was sleeping. But didn't think it was funny when I started interrupting her sleep in ways that awoke her to a high pulse rate and mild terror. Some people just live on one-way streets. I told her when she stopped, I would.

Also knew some people who thought it was cute to throw a fist-sized rock into a room I was in and yell "Grenade!". My technique for curing them of that did not involve waiting for anything. It is a damned stupid trick to pull on someone who is armed.

I am really much happier with my pulse rate in the 60-80 range, and no large shots of adrenaline. Save that stuff for when it is needed.

I'm with you on that one. My daughter learned real fast that's not a good way to wake up Mom. It WORKS, but it's not a good idea. My reaction was so swift and sudden that it scared her. I had my clothes on and starting out the door before she convinced me that she was just trying to wake me up. Needless to say, I didn't go back to sleep for a good long time.

I can't believe anybody would play any kind of trick on someone who is armed - especially a trick that induces an adrenaline response. That shit is just dangerous. There's nothing funny about it at all.

 

[Balladeer08]

I can't believe anybody would play any kind of trick on someone who is armed - especially a trick that induces an adrenaline response. That shit is just dangerous. There's nothing funny about it at all.

I often wonder where the term "common sense" came from. I've never lived anyplace where sense was common.

 

[LongDrySpell]

The condom (texas) catheter fell off and the man urinated all over the floor.

OK, I'm glad I'm not the only person left on the planet who calls it a Texas catheter. I suggested it at work once, we were supposed to do strict I&O by WEIGHING DIAPERS (I do not believe for a second that this is accurate, but they do it all the time to avoid having to put a foley in somebody), I said "why not use a Texas cath?" and not one person there had ever even heard the expression before. There are people there who still think I made it up. They even had me partly convinced until just now.

Don't mind me, I'm a little fucked up right now - finally went to urgent care today for a migraine that started on Wednesday, got my shot, now I'm all loopy. But at least I no longer want to decapitate myself.

 

[BeachMomma]

I often wonder where the term "common sense" came from. I've never lived anyplace where sense was common.

Hmmm. I responded to this earlier, but my post got lost somewhere in cyber-space. Common sense is damn near extinct.

 

[sweepthefloor]

This ride to work was brought to you by: It is a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

Because it really is harder than it looks.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I'm going to make coffee and pretend we just got here. I'm super quiet today without my usual weekenders-- so I'm on my chain.

They don't know me that well but I might start the car wash and see what happens.

All these ventilators keep alarming. Everyone needs more morphine and sedatives so the patients will stop biting the tube, or coughing.

 

[sweepthefloor]

The RT extubated my patient, and the patient started barking at me like a dog.

 

[Balladeer08]

I'm going to make coffee and pretend we just got here. I'm super quiet today without my usual weekenders-- so I'm on my chain.

They don't know me that well but I might start the car wash and see what happens.

All these ventilators keep alarming. Everyone needs more morphine and sedatives so the patients will stop biting the tube, or coughing.

Car wash?

 

[Balladeer08]

The RT extubated my patient, and the patient started barking at me like a dog.

That always makes me go into my Vaudevillian with Talking Dog routine:

"How's life?" "RRRRRUFF!"

"What's fifty percent?" "ARF!"

"Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "RUTH!" (I could never convince him it was DiMaggio.)

 

[sweettreat601]

YES! It's my turn to bitch. I had a confused patient yesterday who'd been NPO all day after breakfast. She went for a heart cath, but afterwards, she had to have a CT of her chest and abdomen for a AAA. She was still NPO when the kitchen closed, so I requested a tray be brought to the nurses' desk so we could put it in the refrigerator and heat it up for her after her CT.

I put a big, bold sign on the door telling everybody that she was NPO. The secretary asked one of the aides to put the tray in the refrigerator. Instead of doing that, she took it to the patient. Blew right past my sign on the door to give this patient her tray.

I went in the room to do something else and saw my patient, very happily devouring her dinner. Went back to the nurses' station to verify that she had not indeed been down for the speediest CT in the history of health care. She had not had her CT scan.

I had to postpone her scan until this morning. AND make her NPO yet again. The aide and I had a little conversation about the importance of diligence and following instructions. I'm off today, so I told the charge nurse what happened because I know there will be a fall-out over this. The MD will be PISSED. Frankly, so am I. I sincerely hope he chews the aide a new asshole - or that he has the nurse manager do it for him. God knows, I wanted to chew her a new asshole. I'm still debating an incident report.

Is it too much to ask people to listen and pay attention?

Sadly, yes, it is too much to ask some people. That would have been a mandatory incident report at my facility. Unfortunately, you just can't rely on others to do things for you, or management to back you up when an aide fucks something up like this. In a similar situation once, an aide delivered a tray, which had been left at the desk, to an NPO patient who had NPO signs on door, and hanging above the head of the bed. Additionally, the aide had been told by ME and the unit secretary that the patient was NPO for another 4 hours. I watched as the aide WROTE on her report sheet that the patient was NPO. When the variance was written on the aide, the Nurse Manager informed me that it was MY fault, as the responsible RN, that the patient had been fed, and that the aide had not had adequate instruction. Give me a break. I dug the aides report sheet out of the shredder box and attached it to my answer to the variance. And they wonder why nurses have overtime. It's easier and safer just to do it yourself than it is to delegate responsibility.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Car wash?

The turn, wash and roll. It's like taking a car to the wash and watching five guys dry one car fast. That's how we do it, with people.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I dug the aides report sheet out of the shredder box and attached it to my answer to the variance. And they wonder why nurses have overtime. It's easier and safer just to do it yourself than it is to delegate responsibility.

That's funny you went through the shred box, but I know it won't matter-- the patient ate, the patient ate, and yes you are responsible for everything. At the end of the day it is your name on the record.

 

[Balladeer08]

That's funny you went through the shred box, but I know it won't matter-- the patient ate, the patient ate, and yes you are responsible for everything. At the end of the day it is your name on the record.

Making someone responsible when they don't have control is better called scapegoating.

 

[sweepthefloor]

OK, I'm glad I'm not the only person left on the planet who calls it a Texas catheter. I suggested it at work once, we were supposed to do strict I&O by WEIGHING DIAPERS (I do not believe for a second that this is accurate, but they do it all the time to avoid having to put a foley in somebody), I said "why not use a Texas cath?" and not one person there had ever even heard the expression before. There are people there who still think I made it up. They even had me partly convinced until just now.

Don't mind me, I'm a little fucked up right now - finally went to urgent care today for a migraine that started on Wednesday, got my shot, now I'm all loopy. But at least I no longer want to decapitate myself.

I am glad your head feels better, loopy is better than the alternative.

Hehehe yes, we all call it a texas catheter and it's so funny trying to put a thick condom on a limp penis. I am pretty good at it. I always wanted to know why it is called a "Texas"-- I mean really?

The worse is when they don't stay on and we try everything! Barrier spray skin prep works pretty good but it gets sticky.

The craziest is when the confused crazy man starts mumbling: what are you doing to me?

Oh, I am putting on a condom that connects to a bag so that when you make urine, we can measure it. Does that make sense?

"You are playing with my dick, you are a sick one!"

 

[sweepthefloor]

Making someone responsible when they don't have control is better called scapegoating.

It is assumed we have control.

 

[sweepthefloor]

The best thing about this special surgeon leading the code blue is that all I have to do is what I am told—and it’s always right.

 

[sweepthefloor]

The daily decision:
A. Stay home and be lazy.
B. Stay home and clean.
C. Attend the critical care lecture at work on my day off.
D. Laundromat.
E. Have sex with myself.

 

[SBroadB9]

The daily decision:
A. Stay home and be lazy.
B. Stay home and clean.
C. Attend the critical care lecture at work on my day off.
D. Laundromat.
E. Have sex with myself.

A and E seem to be the best choices.

 

[Balladeer08]

A and E seem to be the best choices.

A & E is also a cable network. Maybe...

 

[sweepthefloor]

A and E seem to be the best choices.

I haven't decided yet.

 

[sweepthefloor]

A & E is also a cable network. Maybe...

I am the lifetime movie network. It's like porn!

 

[Adre]

Could do D, then E during the spin cycle.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Could do D, then E during the spin cycle.

I am not a fan of front loaders.

 

[Adre]

I am not a fan of front loaders.

Well, that leaves only one choice.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I was lazy.