How to make amends?

[lothwen]

Just read through this whole thread, and wow.


Okay, first off, I don't think TL feels any remorse for what she's done, she's only sorry that she got caught. And she wants so badly to apologize so that she'll feel better. Those types of "aplogies" are unwelcomed by me. Sorry, but I'd rather never see or hear from you than get a half-assed "I'm sorry I got caught and now my life sucks so I'm apologizing to you so I feel better about myself" speech.

(And just to clarify that I don't know TL in real life, so this isn't from personal experience with her)


However, I also don't condone HeavyHitter coming on here and making threats towards her and trying to get us to turn against her. (Which obviously means I condone her whole behavior) It is not up to him (nor any of us, really) to judge and condemn another person's behavior. I'd say be there for your friend and his wife, if she is continuing to try to contact him and interfer with their marriage, but don't be so concerened that a bunch of faceless strangers on an Internet website aren't rushing out to her home with their pitchforks demanding to burn the "Whore."

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

You know what's much more disturbing than vengeance, revenge or retribution?

Group think.

Do you realize how every single one of you mimics the other? The only one here who doesn't is Sweet Erika, who seems to actually think for herself.

Of course, you will say that it's because all of you are right and I'm wrong. But you can save the typing -- deep down, we all know there's more than that going on here, don't we?

This is why ms_intrigue and all the other cheats/whores/homewreckers/whatevers get away with it. They find a warm and safe place to hide behind their anonymity and do anything they want, knowing that at the end of the day, it's really only about what you're wearing to bed, how you're fucking, what your fantasies are and the drama that ensues when one Litster gets involved with another.

This is one big virtual high school locker room.

Obviously you are desperate to change my mind, and I have to wonder why. Is it because The_Librarian/ms_intrigue reminds you of yourselves? Maybe because you feel as though you have to choose a virtual side, and you're choosing the one that you think most of your virtual friends might be on? Perhaps you see what could happen to YOU if your secrets were out? Or is it all about fitting in and saying the popular thing? Because a lot of you are just as hellbent on changing my mind as I am hellbent on making ms_intrigue pay.

This has definitely been an eye-opening thread, but not for the reasons that most of you seem to have hoped.

I can think that TL is a disgusting homewrecking non-remorseful whore, and think that you are a psycho with too much time on your hands, all with the same brain. Amazing how that works.

 

[ima6uldv8]

was there ever any doubt, pmann?

I can think that TL is a disgusting homewrecking non-remorseful whore, and think that you are a psycho with too much time on your hands, all with the same brain. Amazing how that works.

Lol. Isn't it?
And from yesterday: http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=41804199&postcount=208

 

[heavyhitter01]

Just read through this whole thread, and wow.


Okay, first off, I don't think TL feels any remorse for what she's done, she's only sorry that she got caught. And she wants so badly to apologize so that she'll feel better. Those types of "aplogies" are unwelcomed by me. Sorry, but I'd rather never see or hear from you than get a half-assed "I'm sorry I got caught and now my life sucks so I'm apologizing to you so I feel better about myself" speech.

(And just to clarify that I don't know TL in real life, so this isn't from personal experience with her)


However, I also don't condone HeavyHitter coming on here and making threats towards her and trying to get us to turn against her. (Which obviously means I condone her whole behavior) It is not up to him (nor any of us, really) to judge and condemn another person's behavior. I'd say be there for your friend and his wife, if she is continuing to try to contact him and interfer with their marriage, but don't be so concerened that a bunch of faceless strangers on an Internet website aren't rushing out to her home with their pitchforks demanding to burn the "Whore."

As I have said many times before, she IS still trying to contact him. But I don't recall anybody stepping up and saying, "Oh, what? Really? Holy shit, she's still trying to contact a man years after the fact? That bitch is stalker-material!"

Instead, it's all about calling me names and trying to bring ME to heel. Because, you know, I'm the one who's here and willing to fight with you over it. Drama and all that. If it weren't so sad it would be funny, I think.

Fortunately, I'm not concerned about what any of you think here, because like I said before, this is a virtual locker room. None of you are my friends. None of you could possibly have any impact on my choices.

I am sorry to see that ms_intrigue/The_Librarian gets so much loving attention here, because she is someone who will take any scrap she can to justify her actions. She's selfish enough to think that you all actually care about her, and that you are coming to her defense.

Only a few people here have gone on record to say she's a homewrecking whore. The rest of you are all about "she must have problems" and "she needs help" and "counseling is good." That might work for most people. But people like her take things like that as permission, because now she has an excuse: That she's messed up! That she can't help it!

That is complete and utter bullshit, of course. But you keep feeding it to her.

I guess all I can say in closing is that if you have a husband who plays on Lit, beware. If you are a man who is playing on Lit in the hopes of finding someone who cheat with, remember that your little dalliance might turn into a nightmare. Very bad people here can hide behind whatever persona they want, and the gentle "you need help" attitude is often just the kind of tacit approval they need to continue doing the immoral things they do.

 

[whynotjustsayit]

It's really too bad you're in the wrong country for stoning of adulterers, huh, heavyhitter01?

That must really suck for you.

 

[heavyhitter01]

It's really too bad you're in the wrong country for stoning of adulterers, huh, heavyhitter01?

That must really suck for you.

At the start of this thread, I really thought you were one of those who might make some sense. I see I was wrong.

 

[whynotjustsayit]

At the start of this thread, I really thought you were one of those who might make some sense. I see I was wrong.

Haha. That's all you've got for a reply ?

You make a vague insult that isn't specific about anything ?

That's because you have nothing of sense to respond to my statement. Because you know it's true. You'd gladly be throwing stones at The_Librarian if you only could. To see her bleed and die. You're a fanatic and you know it.

 

[TeaforMe]

What she is doing is wrong. It is deplorably wrong for her to interfere in someone elses marriage. But your "friend" opened that can of worms and it is his responsibility to take care of it, whether it be by legal means or just flat out ignoring her.

No one said it isn't down right evil if that is what she is doing. She should categorically cease and desist, but again your friend invited her into his life, it is his job to deal with it how he sees fit.

I personally hold no affection for TL nor would I want to let her near my family, but I think there is more to this story that we have not heard.

That being said, you still have no right to go to her place of work or contact her family and friends...no right.

 

[Lord Pmann]

 

[whynotjustsayit]

By the way, I'm so sick of reading your obsessed, fanatical, hateful crap that now I'm likely to only hang around this thread to taunt you. Because it's so fucking easy. LOL

Fanatics rarely manifest a sense of humor or an ability to reflect upon themselves.

 

[heavyhitter01]

Haha. That's all you've got for a reply ?

You make a vague insult that isn't specific about anything ?

That's because you have nothing of sense to respond to my statement. Because you know it's true. You'd gladly be throwing stones at The_Librarian if you only could. To see her bleed and die. You're a fanatic and you know it.

It makes sense not to argue with those who are simply seeing one side of the coin.

I never said I wasn't throwing stones -- at least, with paper and pen and phone calls and emails. Why is it that "throwing stones" somehow negates the things she did? I honestly DO NOT understand that point of view.

 

[heavyhitter01]

By the way, I'm so sick of reading your obsessed, fanatical, hateful crap that now I'm likely to only hang around this thread to taunt you. Because it's so fucking easy. LOL

Fanatics rarely manifest a sense of humor or an ability to reflect upon themselves.

When a simple forum thread invokes that kind of anger and frustration, you might want to take a look at your own life and ask exactly WHY that is.

Good luck to you.

 

[Lord Pmann]

It makes sense not to argue with those who are simply seeing one side of the coin.

I never said I wasn't throwing stones -- at least, with paper and pen and phone calls and emails. Why is it that "throwing stones" somehow negates the things she did? I honestly DO NOT understand that point of view.

I just had an epiphany. You agree that TL just has what is coming to her because she is a home wrecking whore (which no one disagreed with). What about your friend? I think TL is just karma for your friend being a home wrecking whore. He's guilty. So why shouldn't TL continue to fuck with his life? She should send his mother and grandmother pics of his dick that he undoubtedly sent to her. By your logic, he deserves everything he is getting. Perhaps TL is just doing the world justice. Giving karma a push. I mean, he didn't really pay for it because he is still with his girl and all.

You'll certainly say that it's different because he is sorry. And the situation is different. Well it you say that, then you are an empathizer with wanton whores. Shame on you!!! As someone who has never had an affair, I think you are a shit sipping male whore defender.

Please defend. It's a damned good argument.

 

[heavyhitter01]

I just had an epiphany. You agree that TL just has what is coming to her because she is a home wrecking whore (which no one disagreed with). What about your friend? I think TL is just karma for your friend being a home wrecking whore. He's guilty. So why shouldn't TL continue to fuck with his life? She should send his mother and grandmother pics of his dick that he undoubtedly sent to her. By your logic, he deserves everything he is getting. Perhaps TL is just doing the world justice. Giving karma a push. I mean, he didn't really pay for it because he is still with his girl and all.

You'll certainly say that it's different because he is sorry. And the situation is different. Well it you say that, then you are an empathizer with wanton whores. Shame on you!!! As someone who has never had an affair, I think you are a shit sipping male whore defender.

Please defend. It's a damned good argument.

Oh good grief. Perhaps her craziness IS karma for what my friend did. His wife actually suggested that very thing, so your epiphany was reached by someone else well over a year ago, and definitely considered.

The point here is not how my friend is paying for what he did, but the fact that ms_intrigue has NOT paid for what SHE did.

I have never said my friend didn't deserve karma. I have simply said that karma needed some help in balancing the scales.

Your post sounds almost gleeful that you might have found some way to make me look like an even worse person than you have already painted me out to be. Sorry, man. That won't work.

But ironically enough, it does remind me again of "group think" -- logic didn't work for any of you, so now your posts have taken a tone of attack. You REALLY don't see how you mimic each other like lemmings, do you?

 

[TeaforMe]

But ironically enough, it does remind me again of "group think" -- logic didn't work for any of you, so now your posts have taken a tone of attack. You REALLY don't see how you mimic each other like lemmings, do you?

Brilliant minds think alike.

 

[heavyhitter01]

Brilliant minds think alike.

The fact that you completely ignore the true point of the post actually proves my point. Thank you.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Oh good grief. Perhaps her craziness IS karma for what my friend did. His wife actually suggested that very thing, so your epiphany was reached by someone else well over a year ago, and definitely considered.

The point here is not how my friend is paying for what he did, but the fact that ms_intrigue has NOT paid for what SHE did.

I have never said my friend didn't deserve karma. I have simply said that karma needed some help in balancing the scales.

Your post sounds almost gleeful that you might have found some way to make me look like an even worse person than you have already painted me out to be. Sorry, man. That won't work.

But ironically enough, it does remind me again of "group think" -- logic didn't work for any of you, so now your posts have taken a tone of attack. You REALLY don't see how you mimic each other like lemmings, do you?

I just provided a logical argument. You called it attack. No where did I attack you. Unless you count me call you a shit sipper an attack.

I said this:

You think the punishment for X behaviour should be Y.
TL did X, yet she has not gotten Y. Therefore, you are giving her Y.
Your friend also did X. He certainly didn't get Y.
You also did X yourself. You didn't get Y.

So, the inconsistency lies in your court. Not in ours. Your action should be to do the same for you, your friend and TL. That makes logical sense. You are saying she needs to pay for what she did, but you or your friend didn't pay for what ye did.

 

[whynotjustsayit]

When a simple forum thread invokes that kind of anger and frustration, you might want to take a look at your own life and ask exactly WHY that is.

Good luck to you.

Oh, it isn't the thread. It's people like you who pretend to have a moral agenda when all you really are is an attention seeking, vitriol-spewing troll.

As for anger issues, ain't THAT the bubbling cauldron calling everyone else a kettle !

Since you refuse to address my stoning question, I will just have to assume I was right about you.

You cute little stoner, you.

 

[heavyhitter01]

So, the inconsistency lies in your court. Not in ours. Your action should be to do the same for you, your friend and TL. That makes logical sense. You are saying she needs to pay for what she did, but you or your friend didn't pay for what ye did.

What an assumption.

I did pay for what I did. I made it clear in another post, which you obviously didn't bother to read. Should I have also told you I lost my job over my indiscretion? I did. Should I tell you that I had a girlfriend at the time, and that she dumped me faster than a hot potato? That happened too. Should I tell you that when my mother asked why this great girlfriend broke up with me so abruptly, I told her the truth and she didn't speak to me for almost a year? That happened.

Just because you get a portion of the story does NOT mean you can assume the rest.

My friend paid for what he did too. He lost very good friends. He lost some level of anonymity (how much, I'm not sure -- there are some things I'm not privy to). His job suffered, but he was fortunate to have a forgiving boss who understood that he needed some time to deal with personal issues. The biggest impact was watching his wife suffer. If you've ever watched the person you love fall apart and try so hard to put things back together, you know the kind of pain he went through. If you haven't seen that, well...all I can say is that I hope you never do.

ms_intrigue, on the other hand, went along her merry way, not called out for what she did, not feeling remorseful, even trying to keep her fling going long after he made it clear to her it was over. Her life continued on just as it did before, a merry-go-round of lies to her friends and family, lies to her boyfriend, secrets with other attached men, no consequences at all.

I paid for what I did. My friend paid for what he did. In what universe is it fair that the homewrecking whore doesn't have to pay at all?

 

[heavyhitter01]

Oh, it isn't the thread. It's people like you who pretend to have a moral agenda when all you really are is an attention seeking, vitriol-spewing troll.

As for anger issues, ain't THAT the bubbling cauldron calling everyone else a kettle !

Since you refuse to address my stoning question, I will just have to assume I was right about you.

You cute little stoner, you.

Glad to see you're enjoying yourself.

If you have something new and relevant to say, I will continue to respond. Otherwise, there's no point in playing with you, sweetie.

 

[Lord Pmann]

What an assumption.

I did pay for what I did. I made it clear in another post, which you obviously didn't bother to read. Should I have also told you I lost my job over my indiscretion? I did. Should I tell you that I had a girlfriend at the time, and that she dumped me faster than a hot potato? That happened too. Should I tell you that when my mother asked why this great girlfriend broke up with me so abruptly, I told her the truth and she didn't speak to me for almost a year? That happened.

Just because you get a portion of the story does NOT mean you can assume the rest.

My friend paid for what he did too. He lost very good friends. He lost some level of anonymity (how much, I'm not sure -- there are some things I'm not privy to). His job suffered, but he was fortunate to have a forgiving boss who understood that he needed some time to deal with personal issues. The biggest impact was watching his wife suffer. If you've ever watched the person you love fall apart and try so hard to put things back together, you know the kind of pain he went through. If you haven't seen that, well...all I can say is that I hope you never do.

ms_intrigue, on the other hand, went along her merry way, not called out for what she did, not feeling remorseful, even trying to keep her fling going long after he made it clear to her it was over. Her life continued on just as it did before, a merry-go-round of lies to her friends and family, lies to her boyfriend, secrets with other attached men, no consequences at all.

I paid for what I did. My friend paid for what he did. In what universe is it fair that the homewrecking whore doesn't have to pay at all?

You still miss my point. Had you not lost your job or paid for anything, would you have done what you are doing now? Had your friend not had to pay, would you do it? No is the answer. Let's say you fucked that married girl and it ended happily and you all went on your merry ways. Would you have gone through and outed yourself? Again, the answer is no.

So what this comes down to, is that you, your friend and TL are all home wrecking whores. Agreed? But you're acting like a baby because you had to suffer a consequence she didn't. Is that a correct assessment?

 

[heavyhitter01]

You still miss my point. Had you not lost your job or paid for anything, would you have done what you are doing now?

Lots of questions, and again, lots of assumptions.

Honestly, I believe I would be. Contrary to what so many here believe, I did have morals and a conscience before I slept with a married woman. My time with her was a serious lapse in judgment. I was always raised to be a better person than that.

Seeing someone go about their "merry ways" without any consequence at all burned me up from the time I was a little child. So as an adult, yes, doing what I am doing right now would have at least crossed my mind.

Had your friend not had to pay, would you do it? No is the answer.

You're wrong.

When I found out that my friend did something so terrible, my knee-jerk reaction was to never speak to him again. I told him to his face that he was an asshole who deserved everything he got. The ONLY reason I remained friends with him during those first terrible weeks was because of his girlfriend. She begged me to not abandon him -- and by extension, her. So I didn't. But I was very angry for a very long time, and only when I saw for myself how he had paid so many consequences did I find the wherewithal to forgive him.

Let's say you fucked that married girl and it ended happily and you all went on your merry ways. Would you have gone through and outed yourself? Again, the answer is no.

You're probably right. I doubt I would have chosen to out myself. I would have eventually told my then-girlfriend, because guilt is NOT something I can handle very well, and I know that I would have wanted her to know the truth. I might not have told anyone else, though.

So what this comes down to, is that you, your friend and TL are all home wrecking whores. Agreed? But you're acting like a baby because you had to suffer a consequence she didn't. Is that a correct assessment?

I never said that my friend or I were not whores for what we did. I don't think I have ever made excuses for my actions, or for the actions of my friend. What I have said, time and time again, is that it isn't fair that other people suffer so severely for these things, but ms_intrigue has never once -- until lately -- had any consequence at all.

If you want to call a need for fairness "acting like a baby," then so be it.

 

[KierstH12]

....................

 

[heavyhitter01]

The crux of the issue is in this statement. The character of a person is found first in the person that chooses to be faithful, it is found second when that boundary is crossed if the person has the fortitude to tell the entire truth before it is discovered.

If the cheater does not come clean on their own, with the whole truth, nobody can know if they feel guilt because they were caught or if they feel guilt because they are remorseful for their actions.

HH, I understand why you are angry and want her to suffer for what she has done. However, you need to recognize that the vengeance you seek speaks more to your lack of character than hers and in the end will cause you more hardship than it will her.

You do not want to do what is right, you want to be right, they are not the same things.

First, thank you for being a voice of reason, with no attacks anywhere in sight.

I do recognize that what I am doing speaks to my character, or my lack thereof. Will I have consequences for that? Perhaps I will. But I have carefully weighed the pros and cons, and decided that what I am doing is the right path to take at this point.

Doing what is right and BEING right are two very different things. We're all fortunate when they both line up, but they don't always do that. In this case, I really believe that balancing the scales of fairness IS the right thing to do.

Does that mean I "want to be right"? Not really. If I did want to be right, then it stands to reason that I would really, really care that everyone here agreed with me. I would be absolutely determined that she would lose her job, and not just send a letter and leave it in the hands of others. I would be relentless in making certain that even her frail old grandmother knew what was going on. Believe me, I am NOT going nearly as far as I could go.

Interestingly enough...I am willing to bet that most people here would be cheering if ms_intrigue got her karma in some "natural" way. If the universe saw it fit to put her in front of a fast-moving bus, they might just shrug and say, "Well, that's karma!" But when someone actually takes the initiative to make karma happen, that gets everyone all up-in-arms.

It's not what is happening to ms_intrigue that bothers most people; it's the fact that someone is MAKING SURE it happens to her that seems to piss them off. The question is, if you really think she should somehow pay for her actions -- as so many of you have said -- why does it bother anyone HOW she gets there?

 

[whynotjustsayit]

Glad to see you're enjoying yourself.

If you have something new and relevant to say, I will continue to respond. Otherwise, there's no point in playing with you, sweetie.

I've had much relevant to say. As you yourself stated earlier.

Suit yourself with trying to delude everyone else but I know the real reason you'd avoid responding to me now if your comments would only be ineffective and useless.