Zones of intollerance

[freescorfr]

What are your zones of intollerance?

What would make you want to quit a relationship?

Mine are ;
Racism
Physical violence
and invasion of my personal computer files - not porn stuff but letters etc. - my private, private writing.


What about you. I know a mum who has kicked her 23 year old out of the house for smoking pot.

 

[unclej]

dishonesty on a major level would be a relationship killer for me. being too needy and clingy is another. i don't want to worry about stopping too quickly and finding someone up my ass.

racism is a big turnoff but i've found that i don't encounter it as much as i did growing up.

a bigger problem to me is a foul mouth on a lady. i don't mean a hell, damn or even a shit occasionally but for some reason fuck seems to be the most popular word in the english language now. i know i'm old fashioned but i just don't like it.

 

[Tantanah]

Dishonesty is definitely a relationship killer for me. Physical violence, racism, invading my privacy are all definite issues. Also someone who has no appreciation or love for books and reading would be a big turnoff.

 

[freescorfr]

Also someone who has no appreciation or love for books and reading would be a big turnoff.

That makes me think on old girlfriends who were non-readers. Just one - an Irish girl, but she had stories galore in her head.

I think you're more likely to find men who are not great readers than women. We also read differently, very often. I tend to live with books more than read them.

 

[red_rose]

I have no tolerance for racism or dishonesty.

I do, however, try to understand why a person thinks the way they do before I write them off.

It doesn't justify their actions/beliefs, but it may rationalize them for me.

 

[sigh]

free, your comment about the privacy of your writing really struck a chord with me. I too would take it as an EXTREME invasion if someone were to read my writing without permission.

I pour everything into words. Steal my words and you strip me bare.

 

[paganangel]

illogical people
injustice
abuse

 

[Lovepotion69]

I would never stay in any relationship if physical violence was an issue. Never.

Privacy is a big thing too, I don't rummage around your stuff and you don't touch mine. But, I can't just stop a relationship only because of that.

 

[Guest]

 

[medjay]

Also someone who has no appreciation or love for books and reading would be a big turnoff.

That's absolutely true. Also, anyone who closes their mind to anything new is a turn off to me. Anyone who is afraid to think and confront new ideas.

 

[sunstruck]

ANY relationship or just romantic?
I'd like to say racism is a killer for both, but I can't. My in-laws are horribly racist and I have to put up with them becasue I love my husnad and I don't want to make him miserable.
They are just ignorant, and while neither of us supports their views, educating at that level is almost impossible from a distance. So I just keep the distance as much as possible.

Romantically though,

Any kind of bigotry
Major Hygene issues
and contented stupidity

 

[Chuckus]

Relationship killer's for Chuckus:

Dishonesty
Infidelity
General lack of respect for self or others
Personal Hygene (or lack thereof)
Abuse (Physical or Mental, which includes physical violence)
Lack of respect of my privacy (i.e. personal letters, emails, etc..)

 

[dreamer]

WOW, I feel so bonded with you all now. I think we're all on the same plane on this one.

Here's my question why is it that SOOO many people out there do NOT seem to have these standards? We've all seen them. What causes that? Low self esteme? Ignorance?

 

[Chuckus]

WOW, I feel so bonded with you all now. I think we're all on the same plane on this one.

Here's my question why is it that SOOO many people out there do NOT seem to have these standards? We've all seen them. What causes that? Low self esteme? Ignorance?

Some people apparently miss out on that part of their "gene pool" or chromosonal makeup. I think alot of it is based on their surroundings and their culture and morals. Each of us is different in many ways, this is but one.

 

[naudiz]

Homophobia and racism are big ones for me. I've threatened to stop speaking to family members who wouldn't keep it to themselves. I can't change their minds, but they don't bring it up in my presence anymore, and it's just as well. I've made it clear that I don't need anyone in my life badly enough to put up with listening to that crap.

Abuse. I hit back. Hard. Then I'm gone.

Stupidity. I was going to say dishonesty, but really, stupidity bothers me more. Dishonesty bothers me, but it really gets under my skin when it's done so stupidly it insults my intelligence.

Yelling. I don't like it. If it can't be said in a civil tone, don't say it to me.

Lots of stuff irks me, but those are the ones that'll make me walk and not look back.

 

[ksmybuttons]

People who don't take responsibility for themselves - always someone else's fault.

Constant negativity.

Lazy minds.

 

[WhiteRose]

What I wouldn't tolerate in a relationship?

Physical violence
Emotional abuse
Dishonesty
Unfaithfulness (which probably fits under 'Dishonesty' also, but it's a major category on its own with me)
Invasion of privacy without my permission

Those pretty much are my limitations. Anything else...racism, intolerance, obnoxious behavior, being inconsiderate of others and the world around them...I'd think (at least hope) they'd all be weeded out BEFORE I entered into a relationship with someone.

I'm not the "meet you at a club one night-take you home and sex your brains out-bang we're in a relationship" kind of person. It takes me awhile to feel close enough to someone before I'd consider we're "in a relationship". I prefer mind, heart, body, in that order.