Zombies are here!

[SweetWitch]

There was a really weird Chinese language porn movie we saw once - hopping Zombies in period costumes. M’lady told me the story made a little sense, IF you know Chinese folklore and speak the language. I’m still skeptical.

'Fraud i don't speak it.

Yes! I want to have "Zombies Eat Cock" on a tee shirt.

You've always been a sick puppy.

We may choose from varied types of zombis.

• Traditional slave human zombi
• Modern brain-eating human zombi
• Aggressive inhuman zombi - alien, animal, demon
• CIA-engineered techno zombi
• On-stage musical-dancing zombi
• Suppressed biblical zombi

Sex with any of the above will doubtless end hilariously.

You forgot the voodoo variety.

All I'm saying is I grew up and went to school in Pittsburgh. Everything in this thread is completely legit.

Glad you approve.

That puts me in mind of some of the more raucous wailings seem in the media of late. Particularly about whether it's a boy or a girl.

Time for a brew, I think.

Confusion is the new black.

 

[Hypoxia]

You forgot the voodoo variety.

That was first on my list: Traditional slave human zombi. Zombis are only loosely linked to vodun, so I didn't mention that bit. As the Wikipedia entry says,

In Haitian folklore, a zombie (Haitian French: zombi, Haitian Creole: zonbi) is an animated corpse raised by magical means, such as witchcraft. The concept has been popularly associated with the religion of voodoo, but it plays no part in that faith's formal practices.​

Those zombis don't chase and eat people so what fun are they?
_____

EDIT: I omitted some zombiforms. Who says they must be lethargic? Fast and hyper-fast brain-sucking zombis, ay yi yi! Who says they must be decaying? Slick panti-suited zombi-gals, oh fuck! Who says they must be brain-damaged stupid? The zombi conspiracy will engulf us, alas!

That last can lead to politi-pr0n: a world where all leaders are slickly undead and ravenous. Much of the alt-right movement is explained.

 

[rutger5]

There was a really weird Chinese language porn movie we saw once - hopping Zombies in period costumes. M’lady told me the story made a little sense, IF you know Chinese folklore and speak the language. I’m still skeptical.

I saw a Chinese movie (martial arts, not porn) that featured hopping vampires not zombies. Couldn't call it good but it was amusing. Not sure why the Chinese have hopping undead but it seems to be a thing.

 

[Handley_Page]

Ye gods !
We have sunshine and +20C.

And I salute those who put Apollo round the Moon, 50 years ago.
Some firms have done some designing:-
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/06/26/lego_apollo_11/

Time for a coffee.

 

[SimonDoom]

Time for a coffee.

A view I can always endorse. I'm going to fetch mine now.

 

[Javahead]

I saw a Chinese movie (martial arts, not porn) that featured hopping vampires not zombies. Couldn't call it good but it was amusing. Not sure why the Chinese have hopping undead but it seems to be a thing.

I think it’s the same monster. Per M’lady, either translation works. Though I’m guessing the attacks we saw in the movie we watched (conversion of victims via sex) aren’t part of the standard mythology.

 

[SimonDoom]

I think it’s the same monster. Per M’lady, either translation works. Though I’m guessing the attacks we saw in the movie we watched (conversion of victims via sex) aren’t part of the standard mythology.

From Wikipedia:

"A jiangshi, also known as a Chinese "hopping" zombie, is a type of reanimated corpse in Chinese legends and folklore. "Jiangshi" is read geung-si in Cantonese, Phi Dip Chin in Thai, cương thi in Vietnamese, gangshi in Korean, kyonshī in Japanese, and "hantu pocong" in Malay and Indonesia. It is typically depicted as a stiff corpse dressed in official garments from the Qing Dynasty, and it moves around by hopping, with its arms outstretched. It kills living creatures to absorb their qi, or "life force", usually at night, while in the day, it rests in a coffin or hides in dark places such as caves. Jiangshi legends have inspired a genre of jiangshi films and literature in Hong Kong and East Asia."

Never heard of this until prompted to look it up after reading this thread. I learn something new everyday.

 

[Handley_Page]

From Wikipedia:

"A jiangshi, also known as a Chinese "hopping" zombie, is a type of reanimated corpse in Chinese legends and folklore. "Jiangshi" is read geung-si in Cantonese, Phi Dip Chin in Thai, cương thi in Vietnamese, gangshi in Korean, kyonshī in Japanese, and "hantu pocong" in Malay and Indonesia. It is typically depicted as a stiff corpse dressed in official garments from the Qing Dynasty, and it moves around by hopping, with its arms outstretched. It kills living creatures to absorb their qi, or "life force", usually at night, while in the day, it rests in a coffin or hides in dark places such as caves. Jiangshi legends have inspired a genre of jiangshi films and literature in Hong Kong and East Asia."

Never heard of this until prompted to look it up after reading this thread. I learn something new everyday.

Will someone please tell Chloe ?
I'm sure she could organise a hunt. . . .

 

[Javahead]

Will someone please tell Chloe ?
I'm sure she could organise a hunt. . . .

You sure she hasn’t? She’s been suspiciously quiet what with her “new job” and “moving” - it could all be a cover story.

 

[Handley_Page]

You sure she hasn’t? She’s been suspiciously quiet what with her “new job” and “moving” - it could all be a cover story.

I don't recall her listing it in the resulting story lst time.
("A Troll is Haunting Tex's"

{ "Trolls. Chupacabras. Vampires. Aztec Bat-men. A were-bear (he's a good guy). Werewolves (NOT good guys). Mutant flesh-eating were-hamsters. Black Were-Swans. Loving Wives (haha, not really but they are mentioned and I thought I should warn you). Zombies. Thousands of zombies (those darn mall development companies that build over cemeteries without removing the bodies, I blame them). " }

Good Luck.

 

[Shelly2inme]

The reason for the increase in Zombies is..

I am sure we are all well aware that the prevalence of Zombies is real and all serious scientists agree that the world will soon be devoured by Zombies. So what is really behind this very real threat to mankind and earth itself? It is just another woeful result of global warming. Cars and Cow farts are heating up the globe and awakening the Zombies. We are all going to die unless we vote for people that understand these deeper scientific realities.

 

[Javahead]

I don't recall her listing it in the resulting story lst time.
("A Troll is Haunting Tex's"

{ "Trolls. Chupacabras. Vampires. Aztec Bat-men. A were-bear (he's a good guy). Werewolves (NOT good guys). Mutant flesh-eating were-hamsters. Black Were-Swans. Loving Wives (haha, not really but they are mentioned and I thought I should warn you). Zombies. Thousands of zombies (those darn mall development companies that build over cemeteries without removing the bodies, I blame them). " }

Good Luck.

I figure Jiangshi could be in the sequel. Maybe this year’s Halloween story if she doesn’t go with the grave robbery idea she was joking about on Facebook.

 

[Hypoxia]

I am sure we are all well aware that the prevalence of Zombies is real and all serious scientists agree that the world will soon be devoured by Zombies. So what is really behind this very real threat to mankind and earth itself? It is just another woeful result of global warming. Cars and Cow farts are heating up the globe and awakening the Zombies. We are all going to die unless we vote for people that understand these deeper scientific realities.

Don't forget the zombi cows, vampire cows, were-cows, and tentacle cows. Were-bulls in media are a problem, too, accounting for much media bullshit. But it's a good thing they lack wings.

Oh, the eagles, they fly high over Dallas
Yes, the eagles, they fly high over Dallas
Oh, the eagles, they fly high
And they shit right in your eye
And I'm glad that cows don't fly over Dallas​

But that leads to a question re: modern flesh- and brain-eating zombis. They're dead. Thus their digestive tracts don't work. Thus any flesh or brains they eat must pass through with only tooth marks, no digestion. Thus zombi shit must be raw protoplasm. Victims could be cloned and revived from that -- a new clone from every chewed fragment.

The LIT trick: make that erotic.

 

[beachbum1958]

I saw a Chinese movie (martial arts, not porn) that featured hopping vampires not zombies. Couldn't call it good but it was amusing. Not sure why the Chinese have hopping undead but it seems to be a thing.

Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires, one of the worst Chinese martial arts movie ever made, and there are some other real stinkers out there. What can I say, a misspent youth and sheer boredom led us to sneak out of the dormitory late at night and watch any old rubbish when I was at boarding school. Thankfully 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' came along and revitalised Chinese wuxia wirework movies and elevated them to high art, thank you, Ang Lee.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If you enjoyed the locust story and want to read about more in a similar vein, I suggest googling on parasitic castration. Just be glad you're not a California horn snail.

 

[eidetic]

Zombierotica?

Movie: "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" - very funny send-up (really).
On a billboard: "That awkward moment when a zombie is hunting for brains and walks right past you..."

Zombierotica? Hmmm...

 

[SweetWitch]

I love a good zombie discussion.

 

[TxRad]

I love a good zombie discussion.

There are so many things I could say to that Molly butt... It is too early in the morning and you are sleeping so peacefully.

Signed: Your Personal Stalker.

 

[Hypoxia]

I love a good zombie discussion.

The trick: finding a good zombie. Discussion comes after ingestion.

 

[Handley_Page]

The trick: finding a good zombie. Discussion comes after ingestion.

I'm told that decapitation sometimes helps.

 

[Javahead]

I'm told that decapitation sometimes helps.

The only good zombie is a REALLY dead one?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

What we may need is some fusion lit here. How about a mixed genre:

Zombimboification, tales of erotic transformation of the dead, and, being Bimbos, it's not brains they want to eat . . .

 

[Javahead]

What we may need is some fusion lit here. How about a mixed genre:

Zombimboification, tales of erotic transformation of the dead, and, being Bimbos, it's not brains they want to eat . . .

The Zomboni, smoothing the ice for the rotting figure skating event?

The problem with Zombie bimbos is attracting their victims before the attack. No matter how attractive your figure, and how scanty your clothes, that whole “rotting” thing tends to put men off.

 

[TxRad]

The Zomboni, smoothing the ice for the rotting figure skating event?

The problem with Zombie bimbos is attracting their victims before the attack. No matter how attractive your figure, and how scanty your clothes, that whole “rotting” thing tends to put men off.

My stock of plot bunnies keeps supplying pictures of women with their normal bodies but zombie brains and clothes.

 

[Javahead]

My stock of plot bunnies keeps supplying pictures of women with their normal bodies but zombie brains and clothes.

So, the Halloween party after the punch bowl empties?