Zoloft diaries.

[Betticus]

*stalk*

not my fault i swear!

I thought I told you to go to bed!

Nix the sleep, I spent 10 hours in bed today while it rained outside and was nice and cool and breezy. Kept falling back to sleep, in spite of the stalking.

 

[kiten69]

I thought I told you to go to bed!

yeah you did a few times actually...

 

[Betticus]

Allright, took the zoloft and now I'm all sleepy so I'm going to bed.

I'm gonna try to dream about having chocolate covered cherries with Gracie and swatting kiten69 across the butt with some fresh stinging nettles.

 

[kiten69]

Allright, took the zoloft and now I'm all sleepy so I'm going to bed.

I'm gonna try to dream about having chocolate covered cherries with Gracie and swatting kiten69 across the butt with some fresh stinging nettles.

Awww chocolate and nettles...throw in some sleepy sheep and you should be all set!

 

[coy_one]

I've finally had the opportunity to sit down and read this thread.
First of all, Congratulations on being strong enough to not only admit that you need help - but asking for the help as well. So many times I see people that I love suffer because they are too afraid to ask for that help.

I was on zoloft for nearly a year at one point in my life. I remember the vivid dreams. I also remember having weight gain - that was essentially the reason I went off of it.

I have tried Wellbutrin - and unlike others, I had the absolute worst side effects. I was told to list it as an allergy in my medical history it was so bad.

I tried every drug out there - I just wanted to feel better. It was the combination of some great therapy - and medications that helped me reach stability. I can basically use the tools given to me in therapy in order to keep myself going, without medications. I do exercise and eat well, and I feel those also help.
I learned how to challenge my thinking and how to calm my mind. I also learned which situations cause me the most relapses in unhealthy thinking (like dealing with my Mom), and how I can view them differently. I also have a great Dominant who helps me change my self defeating ways.
I am currently off psychiatric medications. I do have some of my anxiety reducers - Neurontin - that help with a back condition, but that's about it. I am currently going through some very large life changing events, but feel that I'm handling the situations well. Had I not been working so hard in therapy, I would probably be non-functional in my life right now. I was in a point where I was suicidal. That was a scary place to be. Since I have crawled out of that hole, I see how far I've come, and it gives me great confidence to know that I can hit the bottom and bounce back upward.

I wish you all the strength you need to help you get into a better place. http://yelims1.free.fr/Amour/Amour63.gif

 

[Betticus]

Congrats girl. Sounds like you've been through a lot.

 

[brioche]

I've finally had the opportunity to sit down and read this thread.
First of all, Congratulations on being strong enough to not only admit that you need help - but asking for the help as well. So many times I see people that I love suffer because they are too afraid to ask for that help.

I was on zoloft for nearly a year at one point in my life. I remember the vivid dreams. I also remember having weight gain - that was essentially the reason I went off of it.

I have tried Wellbutrin - and unlike others, I had the absolute worst side effects. I was told to list it as an allergy in my medical history it was so bad.

I tried every drug out there - I just wanted to feel better. It was the combination of some great therapy - and medications that helped me reach stability. I can basically use the tools given to me in therapy in order to keep myself going, without medications. I do exercise and eat well, and I feel those also help.
I learned how to challenge my thinking and how to calm my mind. I also learned which situations cause me the most relapses in unhealthy thinking (like dealing with my Mom), and how I can view them differently. I also have a great Dominant who helps me change my self defeating ways.
I am currently off psychiatric medications. I do have some of my anxiety reducers - Neurontin - that help with a back condition, but that's about it. I am currently going through some very large life changing events, but feel that I'm handling the situations well. Had I not been working so hard in therapy, I would probably be non-functional in my life right now. I was in a point where I was suicidal. That was a scary place to be. Since I have crawled out of that hole, I see how far I've come, and it gives me great confidence to know that I can hit the bottom and bounce back upward.

I wish you all the strength you need to help you get into a better place. http://yelims1.free.fr/Amour/Amour63.gif

I'm with you on the weight gain and Marquis on the weight loss.
Prozac made me lose weight like crazy. I ate once a day if I was lucky. I went down to 125 pounds and I'm 5'7"-5'8" with broad shoulders. It was crazy. After my mum, the queen of "five more pounds and you'll be perfect" saw me in a bathing suit and shorts she started bringing fast food home every night, because I'd eat a full serving of it without really thinking about it. Her thinking was probably that I needed as much fat in that one meal I could get.
On Effexor, I gained 96 pounds in 2 years. That's about a pound a week. That's the weight I'm working to lose now. Before that, I was maybe 20 pounds over my goal weight. Unfortunately, the eating habits I learned in that 2 years, while I felt like I was going crazy (it magnified my anxiety while helping my depression) didn't stop with the medication change. So I have to relearn how to eat the way I used to, only better.
I've hit that bottom and bounced back, and I've learned a lot about myself in the process. Once you've done it, you know you have a strength of character you'll never lose.
The most ironic thing was when I was a basket case during university and needed extensions and one prof went all mental and made me jump through all of these hoops to get one from the Dean's office instead of just giving me the extension (my letter informing him of my disability gave me the opportunity to negotiate for extensions when needed). Anyway instead of handing them in a week later I had to apply for a month later (the Dean's office doesn't do a week) and when I handed it in he decided that it didn't answer the questions and gave me a 0 and thus an F in the course (the essay was 50% of the course).
I contested it and the day I had an appointment with the Dean a note arrived on his desk changing my mark to a C. When the Dean mentioned my absences I also told him about my grandmother going into congestive heart failure, cardiac ICU, and dying during that term. The prof knew. He said, "I'm sorry for your loss," but in his eyes I could see he was mad. The prof went on a "leave of absence" and didn't come back.
The irony? If he'd given me the week extension and then the 0 I wouldn't have been in the mental shape to contest it.
But I'm digressing.
The recovery from depression isn't a quick one, but it is a significant one you won't forget.

 

[coy_one]

Congrats girl. Sounds like you've been through a lot.

Thanks - but it's being through those hard times and making it through that have given me a greater appreciation and understanding of the world. Can't say that I appreciated it while going through...

I hope you are moving towards a more peaceful mind. Sending you lots of support.

 

[Betticus]

I'm with you on the weight gain and Marquis on the weight loss.
Prozac made me lose weight like crazy. I ate once a day if I was lucky. I went down to 125 pounds and I'm 5'7"-5'8" with broad shoulders. It was crazy. After my mum, the queen of "five more pounds and you'll be perfect" saw me in a bathing suit and shorts she started bringing fast food home every night, because I'd eat a full serving of it without really thinking about it. Her thinking was probably that I needed as much fat in that one meal I could get.
On Effexor, I gained 96 pounds in 2 years. That's about a pound a week. That's the weight I'm working to lose now. Before that, I was maybe 20 pounds over my goal weight. Unfortunately, the eating habits I learned in that 2 years, while I felt like I was going crazy (it magnified my anxiety while helping my depression) didn't stop with the medication change. So I have to relearn how to eat the way I used to, only better.
I've hit that bottom and bounced back, and I've learned a lot about myself in the process. Once you've done it, you know you have a strength of character you'll never lose.
The most ironic thing was when I was a basket case during university and needed extensions and one prof went all mental and made me jump through all of these hoops to get one from the Dean's office instead of just giving me the extension (my letter informing him of my disability gave me the opportunity to negotiate for extensions when needed). Anyway instead of handing them in a week later I had to apply for a month later (the Dean's office doesn't do a week) and when I handed it in he decided that it didn't answer the questions and gave me a 0 and thus an F in the course (the essay was 50% of the course).
I contested it and the day I had an appointment with the Dean a note arrived on his desk changing my mark to a C. When the Dean mentioned my absences I also told him about my grandmother going into congestive heart failure, cardiac ICU, and dying during that term. The prof knew. He said, "I'm sorry for your loss," but in his eyes I could see he was mad. The prof went on a "leave of absence" and didn't come back.
The irony? If he'd given me the week extension and then the 0 I wouldn't have been in the mental shape to contest it.
But I'm digressing.
The recovery from depression isn't a quick one, but it is a significant one you won't forget.

 

[brioche]

Thanks - but it's being through those hard times and making it through that have given me a greater appreciation and understanding of the world. Can't say that I appreciated it while going through...

I hope you are moving towards a more peaceful mind. Sending you lots of support.

I've been in cognitive behavioural therapy, which I suspect is what you went through, and I do agree it helps a great deal with the depression on a day to day basis. I'm not so sure, though, what to do with the short term episodes I've been experiencing from time to time. In particular, April is a hard month for me. I had hoped that it was just the stress of final exams/essays in uni, but it happened this year too, badly enough for my second mum at the school to notice (and promptly tell me not to let anyone know) and the school year ends in June. I'm really reluctant to play with my meds. I know how to deal with anxiety flare-ups, but I'm not sure about depression.
How do you deal with such flare ups? Any tips?

And I think you know we're all here for you, Betticus.