Yum & Cum

[WickedEve]

That crazy smithpeter gave me an idea: a thread of poems about sex and food. I actually have several of those.

Please add your Yum and Cum poems to this thread!

Everything Tastes Like Chicken

I approached him with an egg beater,
but he was already hard, boiled and deviled.
I asked how he would like me.
He said, "Sunny side down,
and over easy.
Want to poke your white with my finger,
watch you explode,
spread your juices,
tongue you up."

He had me served on a dirty table,
sticky from his spurted syrup.
I asked what I was like on his taste buds.
He scrambled to answer, "You taste like chicken."


The incredible edible egg.
I'm cracked.
I'm a bad egg.
The yolks on you.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

eggcellent

I approached him with an egg beater,
but he was already hard boiled and deviled.

Don't you need a comma in there? "...he was already hard, boiled and deviled..."

But seriously, Eve! This is great, the best kitchen poem since Judo's Now You're Cookin'. Of course that one was dedicated to moi so it had to be a master-piece.
(don't mind me, I'm on cocky-byatch mode tonight)

I sizzled for him, till I bubbled inside.
He had me served on a dirty table,
sticky from his spurted syrup. My favorite part

I've seen you come up with better endings than that, but I don't have a suggestion for this one. At least it's funny

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: Yum & Cum

Don't you need a comma in there? "...he was already hard, boiled and deviled..."

But seriously, Eve! This is great, the best kitchen poem since Judo's Now You're Cookin'. Of course that one was dedicated to moi so it had to be a master-piece.
(don't mind me, I'm on cocky-byatch mode tonight)

I sizzled for him, till I bubbled inside.
He had me served on a dirty table,
sticky from his spurted syrup. My favorite part

I've seen you come up with better endings than that, but I don't have a suggestion for this one. At least it's funny

Girl, that's not the ending! It's:
I asked what I was like on his taste buds,
and he mumbled, "Eggcellent."

Okay, it's corny, sucky, or something. lol

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Re: Re: Yum & Cum

Girl, that's not the ending! It's:
I asked what I was like on his taste buds,
and he mumbled, "Eggcellent."

Okay, it's corny, sucky, or something. lol

I know! I said "...sticky from his spurted syrup. <---- My favorite part

and

"I've seen you come up with better endings than that" (refering to the end, not the middle)


I like corn. It's yummy

 

[WickedEve]

I edited the poem in the original post. God help all poetry readers who read it.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

LOL

That's poltry in motion...

 

[WickedEve]

LOL

That's poltry in motion...

That fowl statement is foul! lol

 

[lickmyboot]

yum & cum

Give me a day or two. I love the idea of mixing sex and food. And, of course writing a poem about it!

I've got an inkling for a poem here, but it needs time to marinate!

 

[smithpeter]

I submitted this last night with plenty of time but it did not appear.
Where better to submit it in the mean time.


a good hamburger

salt, pepper to taste.
take about 1 ½ pound of the best ground beef you can afford
mash it up in a bowl,
add one heel of stale bread crumb,
the kind you like the best. Rhy?
Pumpernickel.
add one half white chopped onion
weep your tasty tears
add one raw egg
continue mashing so it oozes between your fingers
no condoms allowed
mash it some more till you feel the fat crying
now throw it, baby
throw it on the grill
no indoor griddle or fry pan for this patty

the juice will run and flame
get a mouth that is open
apply your face

addendum: fresh tomatoes
caution: be careful if fisting

 

[Elda Furry]

I like a hungry, horny man!
Smithpeter, meet me at Burger King and give me your big whopper.

 

[smithpeter]

My dear Ms Furry,

rare, medium or well hung?

 

[Elda Furry]

Re: My dear Ms Furry,

rare, medium or well hung?

I want it messy. You know, dripping from my chin, a stack of sticky napkins, a tongue licking me clean. I want it that messy.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: My dear Ms Furry,

I want it messy. You know, dripping from my chin, a stack of sticky napkins, a tongue licking me clean. I want it that messy.

Elda, if you want to contribute a poem to this thread, then that's fine. Otherwise, don't being drooling and dripping all over the place. And for goodness sake, stop slobbering all over sp.

Now be a good girl, and I'll get you a hamburger and a dildo, later.

 

[WickedEve]

Phallic vegetables fresh from the dirt,
plunge deep in soft dark places,
planting seeds of delight in my mind.

(I know it's short. I guess you can say it's a side salad. )

 

[perks]

she wore virginal white
a fluffy merengue
looking for puffy treats
a little this
a little that
a chef between the sheets
of pasta
hanging in a dry cool room

she needed that smoked
taste in her mouth
not fish, mota
a bit of this
a bit of that
a chef between the sheets
of gelatin
packed in a dry cool room

she traded fidelity for blunt
fingers in her cunt
cock in her mouth
this
that
a chef between the sheets
of lies
told in a dry cool room

 

[Goodguy2]

Cumming Culinary Style

Cold from the crisper
Nary a whisper
Of his plan of pleasure from food
She’s without a thought
What awaits her twat
As they stand in the kitchen nude

Peeling the green stick
The size of a dick
Carefully carving a big head
Then to the long shaft
He shows his fine craft
Ribbing that’ll arouse the dead

Complete with his tool
She stands on the stool
Attempting to get at the plate
From behind he stands
Big wand in his hands
Now she will meet up with her fate

Softly he touches
Cupboard she clutches
As vegetable meets up with clit
She arches her back
From the rear attack
His mouth on her ass softly bit

Soft stroke with its knob
Her hips start to bob
Lips surrounding the tool so wet
He starts to invade
With his long carved blade
A vegetable fucking she’ll get

Elbows on counter
Food all about her
Aware of only her pleasure
He delights her box
With his makeshift cock
A cucumber now to treasure

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Cumming Culinary Style

Cold from the crisper
Nary a whisper
Of his plan of pleasure from food
She’s without a thought
What awaits her twat
As they stand in the kitchen nude

Peeling the green stick
The size of a dick
Carefully carving a big head
Then to the long shaft
He shows his fine craft
Ribbing that’ll arouse the dead

Complete with his tool
She stands on the stool
Attempting to get at the plate
From behind he stands
Big wand in his hands
Now she will meet up with her fate

Softly he touches
Cupboard she clutches
As vegetable meets up with clit
She arches her back
From the rear attack
His mouth on her ass softly bit

Soft stroke with its knob
Her hips start to bob
Lips surrounding the tool so wet
He starts to invade
With his long carved blade
A vegetable fucking she’ll get

Elbows on counter
Food all about her
Aware of only her pleasure
He delights her box
With his makeshift cock
A cucumber now to treasure

GG, I'm the verge of a major giggle conniption!

 

[WickedEve]

she wore virginal white
a fluffy merengue
looking for puffy treats
a little this
a little that
a chef between the sheets
of pasta
hanging in a dry cool room

she needed that smoked
taste in her mouth
not fish, mota
a bit of this
a bit of that
a chef between the sheets
of gelatin
packed in a dry cool room

she traded fidelity for blunt
fingers in her cunt
cock in her mouth
this
that
a chef between the sheets
of lies
told in a dry cool room

This is really good! I love the refrain. You have brought some class to this egg-licking, hamburger-smacking, cucumber-pounding thread!

 

[perks]

Re: Cumming Culinary Style

Cold from the crisper
Nary a whisper
Of his plan of pleasure from food
She’s without a thought
What awaits her twat
As they stand in the kitchen nude

Peeling the green stick
The size of a dick
Carefully carving a big head
Then to the long shaft
He shows his fine craft
Ribbing that’ll arouse the dead

Complete with his tool
She stands on the stool
Attempting to get at the plate
From behind he stands
Big wand in his hands
Now she will meet up with her fate

Softly he touches
Cupboard she clutches
As vegetable meets up with clit
She arches her back
From the rear attack
His mouth on her ass softly bit

Soft stroke with its knob
Her hips start to bob
Lips surrounding the tool so wet
He starts to invade
With his long carved blade
A vegetable fucking she’ll get

Elbows on counter
Food all about her
Aware of only her pleasure
He delights her box
With his makeshift cock
A cucumber now to treasure

I have to agree with Eve, I want to giggle. My brain is trained to laugh at the flow and rhythm of the limerick, however, there is no humour in your words. The vocabulary you chose has a certain slapstick quality to it, but it's not funny. It's a poem that is stuck between wanting to be serious, but betrayed by its form.

As for your form, the rhythm, some of it isn't as quick, because you didn't prune the poem enough.
Read this...
Peeling the green stick
The size of a dick
Carefully carving a big head
Then to the long shaft
He shows his fine craft
Ribbing that’ll arouse the dead

pruned it looks like this, helping the rhythm, but killing the imagery.

Peeling the stick
The size of a dick
Carefully carving a head
Then to the long shaft
He shows his fine craft
Ribbing to 'rouse the dead

but see what I mean, about the rhythm? it's quick, like the form should be.

some of the other lines switch up the language, making my tongue skip when I read them. A comma would hurt the form, but would help the understanding.
His mouth on her ass softly bit

Overall, you tell the story, which is good. But make something funny, not just the rhythm, or scratch that form and intensify your vocabulary and imagery.

 

[Goodguy2]

Well, actually.....

I didn't prune it at all. I do see what you mean by the choice of vocabulary wanting to make the reader see it as a comedic poem. And, you are correct it wasn't meant to be funny at all. But, let me ask this, does a limerick have to be funny? Why does that from have to elicit a laugh? I'm really being serious here (and believe me, I do appreciate you taking time to critique my writing).

One thing I was trying to do was sylabic symetry within each stanza. Line 1, 2, 4, and 5 are each 5-syl. Lines 3 and 6 are 8-syl. Lines 1 and 2 rhyme 4 and 5 rhyme and 3 and 6 rhyme. does that make sense? Is this the definition of a limerick? Anyway, I do see how certain words get mangled in your mouth and make the poem not as fluent as it should be. I'll work on that aspect too.

Seriously though PB, thank you for taking the time to check it out. Feel free to do it with anything I post here.

I have a bunch of non-erotic poetry too but do not know if it is good to post it here since this is an erotic lit site.

Oh well, I guess I need to spend more than 30 minutes writing stuff!

Thanks again!

GG

 

[perks]

lim·er·ick n. A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme aabba.

an·a·pest also an·a·paest n. 1. A metrical foot composed of two short syllables followed by one long one, as in the word seventeen. 2. A line of verse using this meter; for example, "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house" (Clement Clarke Moore). –ana·pestic adj.


your rhyme scheme.

 

[Goodguy2]

but....

my rhyme scheme was more like aabccb and each stanza was 6 lines? by those definitions, it was neither. Or, do I have my head in the proverbial sphincter?

Not trying to make waves......

GG

 

[perks]

Re: but....

my rhyme scheme was more like aabccb and each stanza was 6 lines? by those definitions, it was neither. Or, do I have my head in the proverbial sphincter?

Not trying to make waves......

GG

no, you just didn't finish the pattern.

let's look at it this way, forget the rules
say the poem out loud. Does it have a sing song rhythm? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!! equate that with quick and funny, not intense or filled with incredible poetic imagery.

you are telling a story, like
Cold from the crisper
Nary a whisper
Of his plan of pleasure from food
She’s without a thought
What awaits her twat
As they stand in the kitchen nude

da da da da daaaaa
da da da da daaa
da da da da da da deeee
da da da da doo
da da da da dooo
da da da da da da deeee
maybe not limerick, maybe a nursery rhyme?

hickory dickory dock
this bitch was suckin' my cock
the clock struck two
I shot my goo
and dropped the bitch off at the next block.

gotta love the classics.

 

[WickedEve]

Goodguy, I'm a horse's ass!

I thought it was a good poem. But I also thought it was erotic humor. I only read through it once, quickly. I'll reread and see if I have any suggestions.

 

[Goodguy2]

Ouch

I've been byatch slapped! Hmm.......I think I'll write another just like it so it can happen again............


Okay, I got ya. NOW, I see where yer cummin from.

GG