Your opinions

[BlackSnake]

I wrote my very first story in the Celebrities category "Annette at the Lake" http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=248990

I would like your opinion about the story....

 

[kbate]

sin #1 - "the first line - I could hardly believe it" is a little cliched.

the "chrome off a trailer hitch" cliche could go.

I have never heard the term 'fuck the sick out', but if it was intentional, fine.

You have some verb tense and a few other minor errors in the story, nothing glaring and horrible, but they are there.

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I like the story, not overdone and not underdone, simple celeb sex on the lake. I can't quite see him not racing to his friends at 100mph to brag to his friends, but overall the scene was set well enough.

***

Minor edit and some fleshing out of the dialogue would finish this nicely.

 

[Suzycandy]

I really enjoyed it. Well written and fun. However the "I just want to fuck the SICK out of you" line made me laugh.