Your Ideal Sexual Lifestyle

[DollarGenital]

I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life, middle age looming, and trying to understand myself and my true desires. For my entire life, I've suppressed what that I truly desire for a life that revolved around what I was "supposed to do."

I think my ideal sexual lifestyle would be to have a partner that wants to explore their sexuality as much as I do. Doing things together and separately. Someone with a similar mindset and appetite. Swinging, stag/vixen, hotwifing, it's all on the table. No judgment. We have each others' backs. We help each other realize our ultimate fantasies. That's it in a general sense. What specifically happens would bloom from there.

I'd love to hear others' ideal situations. How would it look for you?

 

[Sgts19]

We've got a relationship with our best friends. Not just sex but the 4 of us are into the same things besides sex, I guess you can say friends first with sex thrown in once and awhile. Pretty much done it all over many years with them and occasionally I'll go out to do something with his wife and he'll do the same with mine, sex added sometimes. We tried the swinging thing for a few years and although the sex was ok it was the other stuff that turned us off. Try everything you're curious about you only go around once

 

[Not Normal]

I'm luckily in a good situation currently. My wife and I have good sex, though it is less frequent than earlier in the relationship. There are a few reasons for that, and I hold no grudge. 2 years ago I started seeing a friend of ours who has a sex drive similar to mine. We see each other weekly for very good sex and conversation.

I've been looking into some additional play time, possibly some BDSM play that isn't sexual.

 

[liqueur]

I think my ideal sexual lifestyle would be to have a partner that wants to explore their sexuality as much as I do. Doing things together and separately. Someone with a similar mindset and appetite. Swinging, stag/vixen, hotwifing, it's all on the table. No judgment. We have each others' backs. We help each other realize our ultimate fantasies.

That sounds about right for me. In my case it would include a partner who understands my humiliation fetish, and knows intuitively how to exploit it, who has a corresponding kink for humiliating me, and really gets off on it. Who knows when to push my limits, when to go easy, when to back off— and when it's not a good time to play at all, because love and tenderness is what's needed.

But this is a little like wishing your way though the Sears and Roebuck catalogue (remember them?) Because we're talking about a real relationship with a real person (people). And part of what makes it real is that there's going to be surprises, and places you never wanted to go before, but you do it for them, and then their joy or pleasure is contagious, and then you want to do it.

 

[DollarGenital]

That sounds about right for me. In my case it would include a partner who understands my humiliation fetish, and knows intuitively how to exploit it, who has a corresponding kink for humiliating me, and really gets off on it. Who knows when to push my limits, when to go easy, when to back off— and when it's not a good time to play at all, because love and tenderness is what's needed.

But this is a little like wishing your way though the Sears and Roebuck catalogue (remember them?) Because we're talking about a real relationship with a real person (people). And part of what makes it real is that there's going to be surprises, and places you never wanted to go before, but you do it for them, and then their joy or pleasure is contagious, and then you want to do it.

Definitely. You have to be able to adapt. That's a lot easier to do with someone of a similar temperament.

 

[Beth_Anne90]

We've got a relationship with our best friends. Not just sex but the 4 of us are into the same things besides sex, I guess you can say friends first with sex thrown in once and awhile. Pretty much done it all over many years with them and occasionally I'll go out to do something with his wife and he'll do the same with mine, sex added sometimes. We tried the swinging thing for a few years and although the sex was ok it was the other stuff that turned us off. Try everything you're curious about you only go around once

That has worked out quite well for us also. Good friends having great fun in and out of the bedroom. We are going out for dinner and a movie together on Saturday evening and who knows how the night will end. Play it by ear!

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life, middle age looming, and trying to understand myself and my true desires. For my entire life, I've suppressed what that I truly desire for a life that revolved around what I was "supposed to do."

I think my ideal sexual lifestyle would be to have a partner that wants to explore their sexuality as much as I do. Doing things together and separately. Someone with a similar mindset and appetite. Swinging, stag/vixen, hotwifing, it's all on the table. No judgment. We have each others' backs. We help each other realize our ultimate fantasies. That's it in a general sense. What specifically happens would bloom from there.

I'd love to hear others' ideal situations. How would it look for you?

Ditto.

 

[little cletus]

My wife and I each getting a pet. I’d take a well hung top to wake me each morning with a hard cock in my face. My wife would get someone else to ignore.

 

[DayDreaming2407]

I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life, middle age looming, and trying to understand myself and my true desires. For my entire life, I've suppressed what that I truly desire for a life that revolved around what I was "supposed to do."

I'm feeling this. I want a relationship, someone to go on dates with, cuddle with, be by my side. But I also want to be adventurous, have lots of sex, and try things. Can't seem to find that though.

 

[Britva415]

"Ideal" would be less about any particular partner and more about having one or more places to bring whoever I play with.

In an urban part of Central/Bay Area California, because there are a LOT of kinky people around to play with. A modest house with outdoor privacy and a large "studio" type of room where kinks can be played out conveniently. Not a dungeon, but more like a well lit rope studio with a king size bed, lots of hardwood, big windows, and a couple of strong 6x6 rafters.

I'm not sure whether having any particular committed partner would be part of the ideal scenario or not. I think the ideal would either be not having one, or, having a non-monogamous one. Either way, being available to more than one lover rather than only having just the same one for the rest of my life.

Being available to try different kinks with different people, and having both indoor and outdoor places conducive to that, is the ideal.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

"Ideal" would be less about any particular partner and more about having one or more places to bring whoever I play with.

In an urban part of Central/Bay Area California, because there are a LOT of kinky people around to play with. A modest house with outdoor privacy and a large "studio" type of room where kinks can be played out conveniently. Not a dungeon, but more like a well lit rope studio with a king size bed, lots of hardwood, big windows, and a couple of strong 6x6 rafters.

I'm not sure whether having any particular committed partner would be part of the ideal scenario or not. I think the ideal would either be not having one, or, having a non-monogamous one. Either way, being available to more than one lover rather than only having just the same one for the rest of my life.

Being available to try different kinks with different people, and having both indoor and outdoor places conducive to that, is the ideal.

Indeed

 

[StrongMaster7]

The older I get, the more I see that life is all about determining what you like, what you want.

In an ideal, but not realistic, world, I’d love to visit one of each of my five or six ‘girlfriends’ every day for hours-long sex, laying in bed, and kissing. I’d still live with my wife and have the life we have now, but I’d get the quantity and variety of sex that I don’t have now but crave. It’s a wonderful fantasy to have complete access to the hot older women from church, the hot younger women from the gym, old former girlfriends, etc.

The more realistic version would be that after so many years, my wife and I can talk more about sex and maybe have some slight increase in quantity and variety of sex.